Punishment for Pretty Pictures????

Updated on April 17, 2008
L.S. asks from Gulf Breeze, FL
14 answers

How do you handle punishment when your 4 & 5 year old proudly come up and grab you by the hand to lead you to their master piece of beautiful pictures scratched into the side of your van???

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful responses! This site is truly a blessing as far as hearing others opinions on different subjects! I received a lot of like answers on this subject and the outcome was that my van, although the scratches will not come out to date, is very clean and full of fun, loving character!! Thanks again to all that answered with great responses!!! I love this site!!!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Holy cow! That's a new O. to me! If you seriously think they knew better, I would give them a punishment. If you think they were completely oblivious, I'd just have the responsibility/money/behavior talk! Good luck. I feel for you!

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C.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

While my children never damaged the van, they did damage the walls in the house. Not wanting to crush there spirit, I took the high road, so to speak. I knelt down and acted as though I was heart broken. I then explained that had they drawn on paper I could keep their work and cherish it forever but how unfortunate that this beautiful piece of art work could not be kept and had to be painted over. That seemed to do the trick. Never had a problem with "misplaced artwork" again. Praise God! Good Luck and don't ever loose your sense of humor.

2 moms found this helpful

E.A.

answers from Erie on

Mymother still loves to tell the story about how I got up at the crack of dawn once when I was about 3 or 4, took the margerine out of the fridge, and proceeded to smear it all over the wood paneling. I thought I was dusting, or something, I guess. It was very shiny paneling after that :D

Try hard to laugh this one off. They really didn't understand the consequences of their actions. Except that the picture turned out pretty. I'd love to know what it depicted!

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E.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have to agree with the other responders, a true punishment isn't warranted since they probably didn't know that what they were doing was wrong. Still, I thank God that that didn't happen to me. Sorry, but in your shoes, my temper probably would've flared before I got the chance to see it for what it was, kids showing their mother that they love her. Plus, my husband freaks out over this stuff. Now, if you want to read a really funny story, my mom loves to tell the story of how when I was about 1 she had me dressed in a lovely frilly white dress for Mother's Day. She made the mistake of leaving me alone, and when she came back the walls were brown, the carpet was brown, my dress was brown, and my face and hair were brown. Guess what my medium of choice was? Makes you think a few scratches on your car isn't so bad. Take care.

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T.A.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm sorry to hear about your van! When I was 4 I drew my mom a wonderful picture of her and I picking flowers...with her bright red lipstick on 70's era wood paneling. It never did come all the way out.

I'm with the other ladies; if they don't know the extent of the damage they've done, just talk with them about it (so they'll choose better things to draw on!).

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My five year old son cleaned the snow off of my new car with a broom that had a metal piece sticking out. Well, the hood of my new car looked like some modern art subject. I told him thank you and then explained the problem. I took a picture of the car hood and it is in our album. Now it's funny 20 years later. I can't wait to show his kids the pic. some day. Janie

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J.T.

answers from Scranton on

Totally understanding the frustration, I would say that at that age they have no idea what they truely have done. My 4 yr old daughter has written or drawn on things thta became permanent, but as mad as i was I realized that i had never told her that it wasn't ok. Its hard to remember sometimes that they just don't realize the consequence of what they are doing. If you really feel the need of a punishment I would do something like a chore or something they need to help you with to "pay off" the damage that they did. I would say for 4 or 5 days since that is there age. Hleping with dishes, cleaning the house whatever is something they would not relaly enjoy, but won't turn into a huge fight every time they are to do it. Also before the "punishment" sit them down and explain what they did and why it was bad so that they have a reasoning for the consequence. I have taught my 4 yr old, that even if she wants to "surprise" me with something it is always good to ask me or dad before to make sure it is an ok thing to do. Some things may be dangerous. Anyway, and regarding your care, have you ever seen that tube of cream that you can rub on scrathes on your car and it sort of blends your cars existing paint to cover the scrathes. You can get it almost anywhere, even like walmart or something, its in a tube like a toothpaste, standing on its end and I forget the name of it, "scratch out" or something. Try that if the scratches are too deep. Good luck, Jennifer

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wow, that is tough isn't it? Their pride in their artwork obviously demonstrates that they saw nothing wrong with their behavior, so it makes it difficult to "punish" them, yet they need to understand that what they did was unacceptable. I would probably just talk to them, reminding them that all artwork is to be done on paper or if outside with chalk on the driveway only. As much as you can with a 4 and 5 year old, you can ask them what they were thinking as they made their artistic creations, but it really seems they discovered something fun and really had no idea it was wrong. As for the paint job on your van, well......I remember when my preschool daughter colored a kitchen cabinet with a permanent marker-it stayed there until we sold the house. I never left the marker accessible to her again!

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H.H.

answers from Sharon on

When I read this my mind went back 20 years... My husband had just painted his car and left in the garage to dry.. We both went to work leaving our 3 and 5 year olds with a babysitter. When we got home that night they showed me the beautiful picture they had painted on Daddys car. I thought my husband was going to just flip but when he saw it he just smiled(not letting the kids see him of course). We set the kids down and explained to them that though we loved the picture they painted that the only place they were to draw, color or paint was on paper, that we would display them proudly on the fridge. We owned that car for about 10 years after that and the painting my children did on it was sold with the car, we never painted over it. When ask my husband would tell everyone that it was his gift from his children. I would say dont punish just explain. Though they probably should know better they are still young yet.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

I didn't have pretty pictures, but I did have someone who wrote all over my car. The car was only 2 weeks, old, and my daughter and her cousin thought it madea great blackboard (it was chocolate brown), so they took rocks and wrote on it. I was aghast when I saw it, and was a single mom at the time, with no money to repair it. I ended up calling the insurance company and it was covered under my comprehensive coverage, with a deductible that in the end, the shop didn't charge me -- I never did know why.

My child was 3, and her cousin was 4. I told her how upset I was and told her she should never do that again, and I let my sister deal with her daughter. No one got punished really, and it never happened again.

The problem is that when kids are young they do things, and they don't realize they are causing permanent damage. And it's not as if at that age they can help clean up and fix the mess they created. So I would talk about it, and let them know that it's very expensive to get it fixed, and ask them to let you know when they want to draw, and you will be sure they have enough paper to color appropriately.

Or, if they want to draw a masterpiece on the driveway, sidewalk chalk is a great option. But be sure to explain what they can and can't use it on !! :-)

barb

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L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yikes! I agree with the other poster. You have to determine if your children knew that this was not a good thing to do. Even if they had no intention of doing harm, though, there should be some consequence, perhaps related to car care, or taking care of things in general. Can they help with car washing, or perhaps cleaning out the inside of the car? Or you can perhaps lean to the art side of this situation, and have them draw pictures on paper, that can be sent to people who would enjoy getting them -- relatives, friends, etc. The point is to reinforce that they need to take care of their things, teach them what is and isn't harmful to the car and other property, and help them to find an acceptable outlet for their creativity.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a big long trail of scratches on the side of my van, and they've been there for 2 years. They got there when my then-16 year old was learning to drive and pulled into the driveway too sharply, scraping the side of the van along a fence post. So, you see, your children may not be through damaging your vehicles yet! :)

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G.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

omg....I painted my father's brand new lawnmower with some pretty green spray paint that was left opened and available to me....I think I was four or five...I had no Idea my father could turn so red faced and actually spin his head with smoke coming from both ears...his yell could be heard from miles...I really did not know he preferred dull tan to beautiful green...this is one of those precious (expensive) moments...we Mom's ooh and aah over all their other pictures..why not this one....remember to breathe, the fun is just getting started....

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This happened to our pediatrician. He told us that since he never specifically explained to his child that these scratches won't come off, he couldn't punish him. He said not to assume that small children know the long term consequences of their actions. Good luck with that!

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C.M.

answers from York on

First of all I would like to applaud you for having the stamina to hold off on the punishment to ask for advice first. If I could hand you a glass of wine through the computer, I think you deserve one. I think you need to explain this is not acceptable behavior so that it does not happen again. I then think you should leave it on the car and think of it as a "present" from your little angels. Then every day when you look at it, remind yourself that you are a great mommy and a strong woman. In a few years you'll laugh

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