I took my 8-year-old daughter to the psychiatrist yesterday afternoon. I wanted to get my daughter evaluated because she feels the need to control EVERYTHING at home, especially everything her 5-year-old sister does. She even tries to parent my husband and I, and I often have to remind her that she's a child. She worries about things an 8-year-old shouldn't worry about (like money, the toilet overflowing, our schedules, losing our house, natural disasters, my health, etc.). She is a wonderfully bright and intelligent child, and she does awesome at school, but she has had teachers tell me that she could do even better if she would not worry so much about grades, tests, etc. (she second-guesses herself because she's so worried about being "right").
Anyway, the psychiatrist diagnosed her with anxiety (moderate level) and wants to put her on a low dose prozac, coupled with therapy to learn coping skills. I asked her how effective she thought therapy would be without the medication, and she said she thinks she would like to try medication with therapy because it will sort of calm the problem while my daughter learns how to cope, and then she can wean off the medication when the time is right.
I'm on the fence about how I want to proceed. I'm not really thrilled about the idea of medicating my child. However, my 5-year-old is often the target of my 8-year-old's need to control everything, so this really needs to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later so that it doesn't negatively impact my 5-year-old long-term. We also do have a solid family history of depression, mood instability and anxiety, which could be a factor here. I asked my husband what he thought, and he's leaning towards trying therapy without medication first.
I know it's hard for you Moms to form a solid opinion about this since you don't know my daughter, but I was hoping to gain some insight and advice from you. How do you think I should proceed?
Thanks Moms for all the advice! I think we're going to hold off on the meds for right this second. I'm going to get her in to see a therapist, and I'm sure she can tell us if she thinks meds are necessary or not. I also intend to get her back seeing the nutritionist to treat this from that angle as well.
As a person who suffers from an anxiety disorder, I can tell you that if you can start therapy while they are young, they will be all the better once they reach adulthood. This goes for medication as well. If it is a low dose with proper monitoring at home/psychiatrist, and therapy, she has a good chance to begin to process and use coping skills for her anxiety.
If she had cancer, you wouldn't hesitate to give her chemo drugs, which are FAR worse than low-dose Prozac while she learns coping skills, right? She needs to be in the right frame of mind in order to learn the skills so she doesnt need the meds long-term. If you feel the need for a second opinion, then do that. But, please, don't deny her the chance to learn the skills she needs as quickly as possible.
I have GAD and wish my parents recognized it when I was a child and gave me meds. I would have had a better childhood. My DS is 8 and he is on Prozac for depression. He is a new child now.
Your doctor is right. I'm a child psychologist and I would give you exactly the same advice. In order for her to be in an emotional state to benefit from the therapy, she needs to have her body chemicals regulated.
Think of it like insulin regulating Diabetes. Yes, you would also make substantial dietary changes, but the medication would "even" out the diabetic while learning how to count carbs, measure foods and balance a diet.
This is really no different. She can't learn how to regulate her thought patterns if she is unbalanced. I would give it a try and ask the psychiatrist for a re-evaluation in 3-6 months. Try (if you can) to separate the social and family stigma issues from the medical concerns. Reading your description of my daughter, my first thought was "this child likely suffers from OCD and needs to control her environment (compulsion) to ensure that nothing bad happens (obsession)."
Good luck. This is a long road and will be a life-long battle for your daughter. My graduate school roomie was diagnosed with OCD at 14 and will be the first one to tell you that she wishes her parents had agreed to medications when she was in highschool. They didn't and she was miserable. When she turned 18 and could decide for herself, her psychiatrist prescribed Prozac and it made a world of difference. I lived with her for 3 years. For that entire period of time she was not on any medication and it was awful for her (and for us). Soon after, she went back on the medication and is living happily with her husband and children.
I was on a low dose of Prozac for 6 months.
My son was 1 1/2 yrs old and I was caught up in trying to be Super Mom.
I was telling my doctor at a checkup how tired I was feeling when she joked that I needed to get more organized and I almost bit her head off.
I gave her a run down of a typical day for me in 15 min increments from 4:30am to 10:30pm and I'd already organized every spare second of every day (How the heck could I get MORE organized?) and she was like "Wow! No WONDER you are exhausted!".
The Prozac took a few weeks to kick in but I can tell you - it worked.
It felt like the hair on the back of my neck could finally stop standing up on end all the time.
I felt like it was ok to be 'off duty' some of the time and I came up with what was important to accomplish and what I could just let go.
6 months was all I needed and I was fine when I went off it.
Not all medication is evil and bad.
I'd be inclined to try the lowest dose possible along with the therapy and see if it helps your daughter.
She's spinning her wheels right now, she's going to wear herself out and she needs help.
My dtr is ADD with no meds and my son is ADHD with meds. I struggled for YEARS with him with no meds and finally decided to try it...its helped tremendously! He's able to focus enough in school that he's almost a straight A student.
I also would start to be aware of how much you *tell* your kids. They should not know that you may lose the house or that you may be sick. Its way too much stress to put on young minds when they really don't understand the big picture yet. You need to be honest with them to a point, but not too many details, especially if you have a kid who is anxious already. JMO. Good luck!
Since this is affecting her daily life, I would be willing to try the low dose.
Our daughter has a childhood friend that really suffered with anxiety along with some other issues. When she would forget her medication it was a hard day for EVERYONE. not just the child and the teachers, but the entire classroom.
This made this child even more stressed. She is now in college and still is on medication, but she is doing great, lives in an apartment with sorority sisters.
She still has times that she needs some support, but she now can recognize and verbalize that things are starting to be too much for her.
My son takes meds for issues he has and he goes to counsiling. I was heartbroken at the thought of him taking any meds but it's made a world of difference. I would give them a try, if they ease her worries then therapy will be far more effective.
N. my daughter has anxiety as well. For years I thought she was just a worrier but she just got worse, and a devastating sickness ended up pushing her over the edge. She was always "sick" wouldn't eat and worried all the time about everything. It was awful.
We discussed the same thing that your psychiatrist is recommending, and I was nervous but ready to try anything to help her. In the end we started with therapy only, because school had just gotten out. We figured without the stresses of school she may respond to therapy without the need for meds, and she did.
But it took a whole year of therapy before she was truly "better," first weekly, then twice a month. And she is still very anxious, though she's much better at coping now. But I will NOT hesitate to seek medication if that will truly help her (she's also ADHD, so double whammy there.)
I suggest starting with the therapy only, but be aware it could take quite a long time to see results. I also recommend getting a second opinion, because that's just ALWAYS a good idea when it comes to serious medical and mental issues.
Good luck!
I've been thinking about what i would do in this situation and it sort of all came together for me when i thought back to how the dr said to wean her off the meds, That that is the ultimate goal,
he isn't saying to medicate her for life, he is saying, calm her down to the point that she can benefit from the teaching tools and then when she has those tools wean her off.
That makes so much sense to me. because if you are in a constant state of anxiety, i'm assuming a new dr, the idea that something is wrong with her
( which there isn't and i don't think for one minute that you would allude that to her, but it seems like a logical conclusion for a kid to jump too. )
would take much much longer for her to benefit from the therapy.
and like you said you have your 5 yo to consider too. It really sounds like you need to jump in with both feet and do this for your family.
I would ask about sideeffects that would be the only thing that would possibly sway me the other way but i think they would have to be pretty severe to get me to change my mind.
So that is what i would do. I know it's a tough decision though. My good thoughts will be wtih you and your dd.
If you feel the need for a 2nd opinion, that's fine. But if her anxiety is impacting her daily living, you need to help her.
N., you are her mom and a grown adult, so you dont have to listen to me, but PLEASE do not put her on medication.
The things you are describing about her little sister, sound pretty normal to me. My daughter does the same thing and she does not have anxiety issues.
The other things, yes, sounds like anxiety. I have dealt with anxiety my entire life, having full blown panic attacks as early as I can remember. You know what helped me? Patience, understanding and compassion from my parents. I think the therapy alone, and your willingness to help her is what she needs.
I am on anxiety meds. The withdraw from them is no joke and something I would NEVER want my growing childs little body to try to process. Plus there is no study on long term effects of these drugs.
Please, please, please, dont put her on meds!!
medications have a purpose. They make the person feel better and more in control so they can work on the issues. It is not a lifetime decision.
If I were your doc and you told me that you did not want to do the meds I would tell you to let us know when you were ready to start them and to make the first therapy session for a few weeks after she starts.
The medication will make therapy move faster and allow it to be much less stressful and make is more productive.
I think that medications are not a fix all but are a tool to make things easier to deal with when you are pulling them out and looking at them straight up.
You child is going to have a harder time and will end up taking much longer to work through her issues without meds.
Think of it like surgery. If you are going to have your appendix out do you want to do it without meds? Of course not. You want to have it out the easiest way possible. Same with working through stressful issues. Pulling the wound open and pulling the stressors out to look at them and trying to find new coping skills or ways to deal with them is hard, meds just make life more stable and less likely to spiral out of control.
People in therapy often need to take a short term med to help them stay relaxed and not react in the opposite direction to where they are wanting the therapy to go.
If you still choose to not medicate her then please be aware that you will likely see a drastic increase in her controlling ways and even more depression and anxiety the whole time she is in therapy.
When your life feels out of control you try to over control areas of your life that you get the least opposition in. For example, she bosses her little brother around. She knows he can't hurt her or cause her mental pain. So she tries to control him so she can find some control in any way she can.
I used to sing with a group. Hubby and I were having a lot of issues and I was super stressed out at home. So when I went to practice I often would tell other people how to sing their parts, how to pay their instrument, how to dress, I would try and control every little thing around me in this group. They noticed but realized what I was doing. They let me know I needed to stop but that they loved me anyway.
I found somewhere I could feel like I was in control so that I could build that safe feeling. When I took some anxiety meds for a couple of years the lack of control in those stressful areas didn't bother me as much so I become less controlling in areas I could be bossy.
Same with your daughter. She is going to be way more controlling and stressed out while doing therapy without at least a small amount of anxiety meds to help her stay stable.
this is SUCH a hard situation. like you, i really really don't care for the idea of medicating young children. it's so frighteningly prevalent these days.
that being said, there are cases where it's called for. if your daughter is suffering, of course you don't want to deny her what she needs.
but i think i'm with you and your dh, to try therapy without medication first. the med option won't go away, KWIM? i think it's just smart parenting to explore the non-med options first.
good luck!
khairete
S.
Having dealt with anxiety myself...I am on the fence (my friend had a daughter in the same situation and so I googled and read and read on this situation...)
I suggest you Google it and read only information from very well documented sources. There is a study that says in children that a low dose of Prozac and therapy is the quickest way to help them. However when reading deeper the percentage of success wasn't really that much higher than therapy alone. Find the study and read it yourself...sorry I don't have the link...
My friend decided when I sent her the study a couple of percentage points between medication and therapy and therapy alone wasn't enough for her to start with medication. She got the prescription filled then held on to it and started her daughter in therapy. Knowing that if the therapy alone wasn't doing the job she could always start the medication.
A couple of times she almost decided to go with the medication...like after a hour melt down from her seven year old about because her sweater fell on a dry parking lot she couldn't wear it because it was covered in germs...or refusing to brush her teeth because they found a gnat in the bathroom and it "might" have landed on her toothbrush.
I am glad to report her daughter now is doing fine no more extreme germ or other anxiety issues after therapy alone. But it was a hard call...
Before jumping too quick with the medication how about giving her six or eight weeks of therapy and see if that alone is enough to help her start retraining her thinking. If it isn't enough...then by all means give her the medication.
I myself have been on two different antidepressants and come off of them after a while...one was easy to discontinue...the other one was hellish to get off of because of the discontinuation syndrome.
I would try the least amount of intervention first...then move on chemicals...coping skills alone might be enough. I am not by any means anti-medication...just don't want to jump too quick to it.
HUGS!!!
See, I am on the other side of this as I wish I would have medicated my son earlier.
He has a mild organic depression, Oppositional Defiance, and ADD. He struggled with self esteem issues in grade school, culminating in 7th grade with a crash. At that time he took Zoloft for about two months in tandem with counseling. Stopped the Zoloft continued the counseling. When he was 15 he asked his pediatrician if he could back on the Zoloft because he "felt better when he took it".
He is 16 now and takes it everyday. Along with prevacid to control acid reflux that is a result from anxiety.
Some of his coping skills are coming with age and some with teaching them to him. But, at this point, we - he and I - and his pediatrician - really don't know that he will be able to live medication free as my family tree is also filled with organic depression, manic depression, and the like.
So, for me, I think medicating him early would have actually helped him avoid some of the negative feelings he developed about himself - feelings that we are still trying to dig out of him.
I would try a naturopathic doctor and therapy first. Perhaps there are some nutrients out of balance that diet modifications and/or supplements could help balance out? Deficiencies in things like B vitamins, magnesium, calcium and some amino acids and essential fats can increase anxiety. Given your family history, I would think that this is biological in nature and not due to external stressors. When my oldest son was 10 we did Nutrition Response Testing (which is kind of a wacky voo doo thing but it worked) because of his ADHD. He was put on a variety of supplements, mostly for adrenal support but they also included a high-quality fish oil and some other things. His attention did improve (wasn't "cured" but did improve noticeably) but what I didn't expect was that he was more relaxed, pleasant, and slept better. Until I saw him being so pleasant and mellow I didn't realize how tense and agitated he had been before.
Anyway...a lot of chiroprators do nutrition testing and supplementation as well as analyze diet and counsel for improvements. If I were you, I would try that before moving to conventional medication.
You have to be aware that NONE of the psych (prozac etc.) medications have been tested or approved for the treatment of children. There is considerable debate in the scientific community about their benefit for treating mild to moderate conditions in kids and they may have drastic adverse side effects (suicidal behavior for one!). There really is no telling what these medications do to the developing brain...
I would NOT medicate my child after ONE visit with the psychiatrist. I am afraid you may have gotten a doctor that is one of those "quick fix" kinda doctors.
Get a second opinion and start her on therapy. It may turn out that she needs medication to supplement the therapy and in that case you can still consider it... however medicating mild to moderate psychiatric conditions in kids should always be a "last resort" kind of option.
I don't know. Because I'm not a doc and I don't know the extent of the impact on her/your lives.
All I can say us that if this was her initial visit with this doc? Nope. I'd try therapy for a few months. To me, Prozac for an 8 year old would be the last resort.
Good luck!
Hi Mama
Sorry you are going through this.
My advise is short. Please don't start medication unless absolutely necessary.
I work in the caring sector. I see medication being prescribed so quickly.
If she were my daughter I would hold off.
Good luck
B. k
There are many different answers you've received - some for, some against and many are very strong in their thoughts. My suggestion if you are not fully sure - talk to her regular pediatrician and ask for a referral to another psychiatrist..........see what they say and weigh your decision on what everyone feels is in the best interest of your little lady.
Good luck in your decision making!
I have an asperger daughter that I don't medicate (she's gluten and casein free). She gets extremely anxious (and it's 10 times worse with a full moon). I googled some natural anxiety relief methods and they work pretty well. First she writes down the"worry" and gives it to me to worry about for her. Next she used a weighed blanket (they are expensive so I made one)...it helped her sleep at night along with melatonin. A friend lent me a weighted vest that shed wear during the day. We also do bathes with Epsom salt, sea salt and baking soda and use a big bath brush to brush her skin. She would also lay by me with her weighted blanket and I would stroke her legs. It all sounds weird I know but it really helped her! Good luck. Oh and I limited her TV watching (like the news) as this seemed to give her something to worry about (if someone died what if we died, weather, etc)
OMG.....NO WAY.........NOPE....It is true, I don't know your daughter, but you are asking opinion H., and I think that is not the answer to help her....find another doctor..please don't!. These medicines are EXTREMELY strong, and I am sure there are other ways. Please, DON'T.
****updated*** Those examples given to you about this medicine being "good" for ADULTS is another story....We are talking about KIDS H..
Many people everywhere give the same excuse over and over again:"would you deny your child insulin if he were diabetic? or "would you deny ibuprofen to your child if he were ill with high fever?
Of course not! But we are talking about a strong medicine with really harmful side effects especially on children (just one: there are warnings about their possible link to suicidal behavior in children, adolescents and young adults ages 18 to 24-Mayo Clinic and other resources)..Cancer, well.....this is something TOTALLY different where there are not many options all the time...
I am so glad you are giving to this another deep thought !
Blessings,
PLease listen to your dr and all the moms whose kids have experienced this same situation. As an adult I know that meds can make a world of difference but I also understand the anxiety of giving long term impacting drugs to such a yound child. Heck, I stress out about the zyrtec I give my son everyday. When I was young, I was such a worrier (not controlling though). If my parents would go out I would worry endlessly that they would get in an accident and not make it home..........my parents took my too a child psychiatrist and once he realized that I was also eating too much and not gaining enough weight, he immediately diagnosed me with having some sort of a ringworm.......I got some medication, it came out (via potty - sorry TMI) and immediately life was good.......I would recommend that you try all the natural remedies other folks have suggested, get the therapy started and within 2-3 weeks make the determination to start the meds or not.......don;t wait too long or hesitate too much since the meds to could make all the diffrernece but you would at least have the satisfaction of having tried...........also please get a second opinion......good luck
I decided to medicate my son for anxiety too.....tried Prozac but made him feel out of control....tried celexa and I am so thankful for this medication. He is happy, he can do well in school and overall life is better for the entire family. I will never regret it!
While I'm not opposed to treating children for chronic conditions, I do hesitate immensely when it comes to giving SSRI's to children under 18 years old. I think there are definitely situations that warrant it, but I also think that the situations should be serious and other avenues attempted first. You might want to consider a second opinion from a pediatric neurologist.
Anxiety is often paired with something else when it comes to children if it's not typical anxiety. Does your daughter also have ADHD or ADD? If she does, you might want to consider having that treated as well as talk therapy before going to SSRI's for treatment.
Have your daughter keep a journal as well. Teach her how to use it and reassure her that no one else will ever read it.
Maybe you could try therapy alone for a few weeks and see if there's any improvement? If it doesn't seem to be working, then try a very low dose of medication with therapy. This way, you'd feel like you at least tried it. In the meantime, I'd gather as much information as you can regarding side effects and long term effects (if known) before starting her on anything. Good luck to you and your family!
Every situation is different. I can tell you about my niece, she was medicated as a small child. She has behavior problems and mood swings. Not too bad, in my opinion it was because she was a middle child, only girl with one brother 13 months old and another 17 month younger. She just got pick on by her brothers and lashed out. The meds put her behind in school. She never learned to deal with things that upset her. Now she is 14, she chooses not to take her medication, and you can't make her, and is very emotional, failing out of high school. Just think you are raising an adult, not just a child. How will she be if she doesn't learn to deal with our not perfect world?
Please do everything possible before going on meds, for all the reasons people have already mentioned. You are right for wanting an alternative if possible. There is something called Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping. It is simple to learn and simple to have your daughter do when she is feeling anxiety. I use it all the time on myself and kids with great results. You can learn how to do it in this short video or other free videos on YouTube (just type in EFT or tapping).
http://www.thetappingsolution.com/how-to-tap.php
It helps people with full blown PTSD and OCD as well as dealing with any past trauma. Some of the preliminary studies are showing that on a physical level it can lower the cortisol levels in your body by up to nearly 30%. Please give it a try, it may change your lives.
