Problem Child

I took my son to a psyc because he was having behavior issues and he was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and Bipolar Disorder. He of course was put on medication and his behavior improved. Is there anything other than the ODD? I know how you feel. I spent a lot of time at his school and it's a battle at home too. Maybe there is more to it and there could be a med to help him. At first he wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar. Just ADHD and ODD. Is he continuing to see a therapist of any kind? My son's psychologist and Psychiatrist together have been a huge help in helping me handle him. If you want their names, I'll give them to you. You can also call me if you want. Just let me know if I can help and I'll email you back with the info!

J.,
I taught kids with ODD before I had my daughter. I had a self-contained classroom. Is he in the regular classroom? Sounds like he would really really benefit from a smaller class size?
R.

J.
My son was also "labeled" ODD. Well I shook him out of that really quick. That is a hard label to put on a child. This is a power struggle label. My son was doing the same things as yours and all i did was become evil mom until i noticed that he didnt have the issues as much anymore. I would not give in to him at all. Yes it was very h*** o* my part. I hated every second of this year. When i told him something i would stand by it. I wouldnt let him do alot of things because of it. I was very strick and stern on him. And if he disobayed then he would have to do some type of punishment. Such as sticking his nose in the cornor, going to his room and cleaning it up, jumping jacks, something that might cause him to burn off that negative energy. When he complied i gave praise. Well i gave it so much it was kinda sicking.HA HA when he did comply. This
is what I had to that seemed to work for him.
Also he might be having some issues with the fact that military is all over the news, everywhere you look. Kids dont miss alot. And with dad being out of state to where he cant physically see him might think that he is where all of the war is going on and is worried about him. So he is lashing out with the defiance becasue he is one worried about his dad and 2 that he dont get to see his dad. He as the only boy has a big responsibility and that is taking care of the "girls" in the family. Even this young they can sense this. My son did. And it is just my son and I. S there are many factors as to why he can be having this problem. I am not sure who your doctor is. But maybe he needs some counseling. I take my son to the Behavior Health clinic at Methodist hospital. Ask to see Jenny. She is really good. IF you have any more ??? let me know. I have been dealing with this with my son for 4 years now. It isnt easy but it does seem to get better. I have totally had to put my life on hold which i dont mind becase my son comes first. But i has been a struggle and when he does not know his father it is really hard. GOOD LUCK and i hope all turns out well.
B.

WOW!! How do you do it? 3 kids (not to mention the ODD) and school full time!! GOOD FOR YOU KEEP IT UP! now, my stepmother is a psychologist and tries very hard not to prescribe anything until it is the absolute last option. But sometimes it is necessary. Is he takin anything? Be aware of when he needs it and when he doesn't. I'm sure your life would be easier if he was well behaved all day, but don't keep him doped up just to make it easier on you. Work with your Dr. and your school district (which is obviously great) to figure out when he needs more help and when he doesn't. If he makes it until and hour before recess w/o incident then maybe he should take a half dose when recess is over to help him with the rest of the day.
Maybe I don't know what I am talking about (I probably don't sorry) but my step mom has had alot of success with children who have psychiatric behavioral problems using medications that are monitored diligently and only given at the right moments.

You should talk to a dietry to see what foods you could do with out cause like BAnana's is like sugar. Lot's of sugar effects a child's brain in a term it is like giving them speed. So when you are not giving sugar you are giving fruit.It is just a covor for sugar. Also I would have his spin checked cause a pitched nerve can cause these type of conditions. Also have the fluid on his brain checked cause that can cause similar symptoms I know I have to much fluid on the brain. Good luck with your son. And remember never give up cause when you do he does. If you would like to talk feel free. God Bless

My 8 yr old was diagnosed with bi-polar and adhd this year. One of the things that has been brought up in the research I've been doing is that there is a disagreement brewing in the psychiatric community over whether ODD is an actual disorder in itself, or a symptom of something else. One person said it would be like saying a blind person has "Walking into Walls Syndrome" - it just adresses a single symptom, and not the cause of the symptoms. Their point was that a diagnosis of ODD is just not enough - the cause of the ODD needs to be treated.

You don't mention if he is on any meds. My son is on Risperdal and it was absolutely amazing the difference in him just the first week he was on it. The medication made it possible for us to discipline him. Before that, all we were really doing was restraining him until the episode passed. Now if we tell him he needs to go to his room, he actually goes. We used to have to pick him up and carry him there, and then hold him down to keep him there. At age 2, he grabbed a knife from the dishwasher and chased his older brother through the house. At age 4, he tried to hit me in the head with a putter while playing mini-golf. Last fall, he tried to hit me in the back of a head with a decorative marble egg. We have holes in walls and broken furniture due to his outbursts. We were even kicked out of a Bible study group after he kicked one of the teachers there.

I encourage you to find a psychiatrist who works primarily with children, and continue to press on until you can get your son some help.

I wouldn't worry about him repeating kindergarten. Most boys do better waiting to start kindergarten, particularly if he has a late spring or summer birthday. My son has several developmental delay "gaps" - because he spent so much time trying to deal with what was going on in his own brain, he couldn't work on the developmental step that others his age was working on. Now that he is stable and getting the right kind of help at school and home, he is on his way to overcoming those. I expect him to catch up with his peers within a year if he stays stable. If I had waited much longer - or accepted the word of the first psychologist we took him to who said he needed 7 minute timeouts since he was 7 years old @@ - he would be further behind and have more to overcome.

Keep pressing on. Check with your local mental health department to see if they have any programs for children with emotional disorders, or support groups for the parents. You can connect with other parents and get the names of responsive psychiatrists and possibly even find some respite care so you can focus on your girls or yourself for a few hours. Your daughters can find other kids with "different" siblings who understand what they are going through, too.

Blessings to you.

I am no expert on ODD by any means, but a common way to help a child who has control issues is to allow them controlled control, such as letting them choose between two things you chose for them. It leaves you in control, but also provides the child with a feeling of control.

Some children with control issues really respond to this.

Either way, I wish you the absolute best, and hope you find a workable option for your family.

Hi, J.,
Hats off to you and your children. Your 6 year old son sounds like a challenge as well as a blessing. Therapy would be beneficial for everyone involved. Also, another thing to consider is looking into what he is eating, such as foods with food coloring or dyes; such as red and green- they can effect a child's behavior as well. It also sound like your 6-year old is needing his father or some kind or positive father figure in his life. A couple of other suggestions would be to llok into big brothers if there is not a positive male figure in his life; and then see if there is a Whiz Kids program close to your home. Whiz Kids help with at risk children with ther school work. Also, PCIT (Parent Child Interaction Therapy) would be beneficial for your son. You can call me on Monday at my office ###-###-#### to learn more about PCIT and the benefits of PCIT. Keep up the good work as it appears you are involved in your childrens' lives and are concerned about them.
Respectfully,
G. W.

J., I have a 5 year old that has ADHD and is a bit of ODD. Just as you have I have tried it all. My last resort was medication which I didnt want to have to do. He is repeating prek. He is taking Concerta and is actually doing well on it. He has been on it for three weeks and is actually better at school. If your husband is military you should also try talking to his ped dr. I did and she was wonnderful about helping with ideas. Where are you at?

I didn't read all of the above responses but my brother was diagnosed with something similar. He is in 7th grade after being help back. He is now taking classes in special ed. This has helped him a lot. He gets help with all of his work and his teachers finally understand that he has a problem and they don't just refer to him as the problem child. He had to be tested by the school district. I'm not sure if this is an option for you but it could help him at school. Good luck!

J.--

I can feel your pain trust me. I have a 4 1/2 year old boy who is (SAD) Separation Anxiety Disorder (ADHD) and (ODD).

The way we have coped has cost us thousands of dollars and many doctors and therapists. My first advice to you is THERAPY,THERAPY,THERAPY. My son sees an in home therapist 1 time a week and it is FREE through the CRIDER CENTER it is a state funded program for mental and conduct disorders. Also we see a family therapist 1 time a week. We do this through our insurance. Secondly, if you research ODD is 9 times out of 10 is not the only disorder your child has. I was in your shoes and thought my child was only ODD and after 3 psychiatrist I finally got a true Diagnosis and they got me on the right path to deal with his disorders. I would be happy to recommend my doctor and or therapist if you are interested. But I feel from expereince you have to be comfortable with your doctor and that in itself goes a long way. You are not alone but you have to get some help. Trust me it is not easy and it has taken us 2 years of jumping doctors and therapist to get where we are now but it is slowly getting better.

M.

Have you tried sports? If he is six he is old enough for all types of sports like pee-wee football and baseball, karate, gymnastics, etc. He may need an outlet for the extra energy and aggression he seems to have. My little brother had a similar problem and when he was enrolled in footbal he took all his aggression out on the field instead of in school or at home. Or maybe the teacher can let him get up and exercise or walk around every so often so he used up some extra energy during the day at school.....
Hope this helps.

We had a foster child for three years (she is five now and back with her mother) who did not have ODD but RAD (reactive attachment disorder). She is better now and not on meds. I KNOW how hard it is to love someone so much but HATE their behavior. I also know St. Anthony's hospital in Oklahoma Cityhas "day programs" for children diagnosed with mental disorders. I don't know where you live, but you could check out the hospitals in your area and see what resources are offered on an outpatient basis. They will be staffed with people who are familiar with your child's particular disorder and can offer additional support other than your MD and your Psychologist. It is kind of a trial and error process with seamingly more error...it is frustrating I know. I will pray for your sanity!! My only solice as a stay-at-home mother was a hot shower before the kids woke up or after they went to bed. I would often cry for the majority of the shower. LOL. Good Luck and God Bless.