Private v Public

I know it is a difficult choice, I raised two children both went to private schools until 8th grade total cost is around 180K, which we could afford then, but looking back we could of been putting this money aside for college. The private school did have smaller class size, but I don't feel that they learned any better than public except for the WAS the Christian tone, but we go to Church and youth groups and Summer Camps too. The hardest thing has been my children adjusting to a larger campus for public high school- which I know will help in readyness for college. Our private school only had 400 students total from k-12.

I now teach at a public school and there is help for children just ask the principal at there public school.

MY son is in the top 10% at his public school, I feel very little had to do with private school. He worked hard and took all AP classes 9-12 grade.

T.,

I would love to see all the responses you get as we are following very closely in your footsteps. I wouldn't change a thing about our daughter's kindergarten year (her teacher is beyond fabulous)! She is thriving and doing very well. This being said, I started researching private schools in January, and we are currently applying to a Christian school in Frisco. This has been a very difficult decision for us as I attended public schools all the way through and taught in public schools for ten years. However, I have had concerns about the direction of public schools in general. We live in Allen and built our second house in Allen because of the schools, but have some reservations about the direction of the schools. If we could be guaranteed teachers like our child's kindergarten teacher (who is a Christian), we probably wouldn't be applying to private school so early. I know I am not any help to you, but I wanted you to know that you aren't the only one in this dilema. Also, regarding not being notified about your child's reading areas of concern is not acceptable. As a former teacher I can confidently say that you should have been notified immediately. That just doesn't make any sense. Kindergarten teachers in the public schools must be overwhelmed with so many five and six year olds in their classes (I taught older kids), and I know things can happen, but I still feel like you should have been told. By the way, my husband is an attorney as well. What firm are you with?

I heard a great speaker the other day in regards to the same thing. She was $40,000 in debt and because a classmate of her son's in the "gifted" private school was arrested on a charge she decided to pull her child from the school and put them in the public school system. She found that the public school system was using the same text books and her son was behind in math.

I put my child in public school and although he passed his end of 1st grade benchmarks for both reading and math at 100% at the begining of the school year, I think that he has gotten the better end of the stick in public - I just can't afford to do the private school thing.

I also think that if you talk to your son's teacher and ask for regular updates and things you need to work on, they will keep you informed. Most teacher really want your child to succeed and RISD has some of the best ranked Elementary Schools in the Metroplex area.

Just wanted to throw out my experience since I grew up in both public and private schools (my parents for some reason switched us a few times, but as a kid I didn't really know why). We went to mostly private schools until I was in 8th grade and I think that I got a lot more personal one-on-one time with teachers in the smaller classes. It was a comfortable to go to school in that type of environment (they were all schools affiliated with churches) and so I think my faith is stronger because of growing up learning the Bible along with regular lessons.

That being said, I did however feel that I missed out a bit as far as extra-curricular activites went (sports and clubs), since some of the private schools didn't offer much that way. It was harder to be a part of high school sports and activities since I didn't get to do them when I was younger. I am sure if the school you are looking at is top-ranked, they will offer a lot more, but that is one thing I would make sure to look at when deciding. My husband went to public school all the way through, and we both have our masters degrees, so education-wise I think both private and public offer equal opportunities, it's just the personal touch that private offers a bit better.

And to answer your question, yes you can go back and forth between private and public if you want, or switch private schools after a year or even during the year if you or your children don't like it. And I really enjoyed going to public high school even though I like the private schools when I was younger, so you might consider having your children go to private when they are little and then letting them choose public or private when they get older.

Sorry so long of an answer but hope that helps! If you have any other questions, I'd love to answer them.

We have three children and two are at private schools. That said, the two schools could not be more different. Not all private schools are worth the tuition and you may get more by moving to a better school district. Our daughter's school is by far worth the very high tuition...what she receives in academics and "extras" is amazing. My son's school...not so much. I think (know) or local school system is far superior. We are planning on keeping our daughter in her private school and sending our boys to public school. What I saw in our local elementary was far superior in than many (again, there are a few exceptions in Dallas) of the private schools we visited.

You should know that districts like Plano, though highly, competitive...send many children on to Ivy League schools. Private school does not guarantee that. My advice is to visit the schools that you are interested and talk to parents that may not LOVE the school. Of course you are going to get the rosy picture when you go on a tour. Also...check out some public schools in the area. Of course Park Cities has a great reputation, but don't over look Plano, Love Joy.

Good luck! I know this is a hard decision....we have had many late nights debating this in our household!

R.

You already had lots of wonderful advice, but I thought of these Sylvan and Kumon learning centers. If you wanted to stick with the public schools, maybe in the beginning your very smart son might need a little more assistance with the verbal. Its better to do these things while they are young and their egos don't come into play:) I saw tudoring as another suggestion. You are already being very proactive so I am sure everything will work out. Good luck!

My experiance is only with Public Schools and it has been great. My oldest one chooses to take extra test and always test highier then Natinal average. My Middle one has always struggled and we found he is Dyslexic, my youngest is a social buttefly and loves to learn and talk. I found in the years, I can spend more time at the school, it gives the teachers the chance to talk to me about how the kids are doing. Our ISD has email for each teacher. I start the first of the year sending a Hello and then they have my address. That way if they are grading papers in the middle of the night and see something I might need to know or watch, they can send it to me. Our school also sends home each Benchmark to be signed by the parent. That also let's me know if I need to call the teacher. I try to spend as much time at the school helping out as I can. Sometimes my job does not let me, and I love it, when the teachers say, "Hey, we miss you!" I would just make it a point to keep in touch with the teacher. Good Luck!

Have you considered home schooling? If you don't have time, you can hire a tutor for less or about the same than a private school. I'm a product of an excellent Department of Defense public school system and attended these schools all over the world. My husband went to an excellent private boarding school from the age of 8.When it came time to choose an academic path for our child we tried private , then public. We were unhappy with both. Private schools don't always have the best teachers and can be full of children who have a nasty sense of entitlement that begins at pre K. Public schools, by and large, are nothing like what we attented when we were kids. It's all about finding a fit for your particular child and whether private or public you will have to be very involved and ask questions constantly to ensure your child is getting even an adequate education.
Good luck.

I can't speak from an educators perspective because I've never been one, however, I have had a few years experience substitute teaching in my local school district. I have two children, one on the far end of the spectrum, a daughter who is an over achiever and grades and good performance matter to her. Then I have a son who has been border line ADD but has been able to maintain an average GPA without medication. I always try to get to the heart of the matter. I try to get my son to bring home his graded papers so I can see what areas he may be under performing in and see what could be done to assist him in that area. I would make every attempt to find out where the real problem is before sending him out of public school. Like you mentioned, you made it through public schools into a successful career. Its a personal decision that you have to make. I know as mothers we want the best for our children. I applaud you for being so actively involved in your children's education.

If you can afford private, then you should. I taught in public schools. I am praying I'll be able to afford private for my child.

When my children were little my uncle told me it was my duty to teach my children. So were the schools weren't doing too well I stepped in, and completed the job. Three of my four kids payed their ouw way thu collage. One even had Over $25,000 in the bank 6 mo. after graduation. All are well and happily married, in great jobs. But let the public schools do their best then you complete the job.

Good luck,
A. D.

I went to St. Rita, then Ursuline. Both great schools. I then went on to Univ of Mississippi where as my sis went to Vanderbuilt, Marquette and now SMU Law. I think it is all on an individual basis. Where your child will grow and flurish maybe different than another. Each private school is different too! Some high priced private schools don't require education degrees or masters, but some do have it. Like many have already said parent communication is the key in any school. But, I also think the private school gave us the networking arena we might not have had at public. Where we went was smaller so everyone knew everyone. I am still going to friends weddings from grade school. My hubby got his first job from a family friend. The old saying of "It's not what you know, but who you know" Is very true in the business world.
I wish I knew which schools everyone was talking about. We just moved to PISD and had our 2nd grader in public and switched 6 months into the school year because of a personal problem. We originally chose public because we thought if she was in the top 10% at public she would have a better chance to go to UT. My sis who had a scholarship at Vandy had no scholarship at UT, and I heard someone from Jesuit got into Harvard but not UT? Also my parents spent more in lower school than they did for college. So is it worth it financially?? Personally, I think only if you have the money and are not in an amazing school. But if you are in Highland Park, Park Cities, some Plano, some Richardson etc I say go public and just know communicate with your child, teachers, and parents (expecially the ones involed at the school). We will be sending my son next year to kindergarten at public and hopfully switch the 2nd grader back. It is still up in the air as to which highschool they will go to. Having three kids though we will be taking finances into the equation as well as their return. Just as a final note. After you told the teacher you "wanted to get involved" with your sons school she finally offered her help. They probably have so many parents who don't care and let the school raise their child, they might be a little reluctant contacting parents who don't initiate. This just teaches us to make the first move as parents and get involved. The first day my daughter went to school I told the teacher she was bright and I wanted everything offered. I had to ask her to help choose harder library books and I asked for the harder spelling tests only "gifted and telented "get. I asked for everything, but she in the end did help once she knew we cared.
Good Luck, L.

T., be aware that in the public school system that class sizes are often smaller and yet not ALL teachers are certified. Set up the line of communication with the teacher. Exchange e-mail addresses and have that serve as a weekly record and/or documentation, if the need arises. Being attorneys, I am sure, can be time consuming. One of the biggest challenges in public education these days is lack of parental involvement in their child's educational responsibilities at school AND at home.

Make a game out of reading. Make it a point system and at the end of a week or book, award him. Maybe he'll enjoy a personal pan pizza or a game or toy.

This is my opinion. I would keep them in public schools, and just make sure the door of communication is open. Get involved as much as you can so you will know about whats going on with your children. I have talked to several parents who had their child in private school and then public and they said that if there was a problem public schools take care of it quicker than private due to the fact that all parents are paying for their child to attend their school, so they don't want to hurt anyones feelings. I am a firm believer in public schools. I have three chilren 3rd, 6th & 9th grades and they all love going to school and my oldest is in pre AP classes. So the key is staying involved in your childrens lives not only at home but at school and any thing else they are involved in. Good luck!

I have taught for 13 years in Public and Private, so the teacher quality can be the same. You should also know that not every Private school has to hire teachers. They can hire any degreed individual. In public school I have received more training that is timlely and pertainent to my subject. Also private schools do not have to adjust their curricum to your student, but under laws public should do their best to teach to your child's need because gifted students also fall under the special education laws.
Do your research and whether you choose private or public talk to the teacher regularly if the progress notes are not giving you the information you are wanting. Some schools only require progress notes to indicate need. I have a son who is a kindergartener at the same school that I teach. I still had to talk to the teacher and straight out asked I know the report card says he is right on target (2 and 3's out of a 3 scale) but will he be ready for first grade. She told me to wait because kinder kids show growth late in the year. I am a product of a private education and thought I was going home when I taught at one. I honestly prefer public education. Ask if your child will be in guided reading groups in first grade because that is the best teaching plan for reading* the basal is outdated and for sure your kiddo does not need worksheets.
I hoe that helps:)
A little about me I have a 5 yr old son, a 2yr old duaghter and a 10 yr old stepson.

First, research I did in the past says that kids may appear ahead or slow in different areas of learning at young ages - so unless they're a genius or handicapped, they generally "balance" out by the time they're in 3-4th grade. I'm not saying to ignore anything, just don't let it stress you unless it continues.
As for schools, private schools can offer as much and more than public if you are in the right one. It is strictly choice and what you're looking for. I put my kids in private school to start out...the teachers keep you very posted on what's happening as they generally have a smaller student-teacher ratio. My kids liked it and learned alot. I later moved them to public - in the PISD - and I ultimately regretted it. They were ahead of the kids in their class when they entered. This happened to my sister's daughter as well - she went to private then to public in high school and she was academically ahead of the kids in public. My kids (2 of them are married now with kids of their own)and say that they will put their daughters in private school and keep them there - this is based on their personal experiences in both environments - from the educational and social perspective.

I think that some kids do great in public and some do great in private...it partly depends on the child and also on the school system. A difficult choice - in either your child will have an opportunity at Ivy League if they are cut out for it...my kids went from loving school while in private to hating it when they went to public. This was due to less individual attention from the teachers overall and I believe this was due to the environment that the public system has and that the teachers were overwhelmed.

As a middle school counselor, I never thought I would recommend homeschooling over public school. In the last several years - especially since no child left behind, the focus of public school education is not the love of learning but information needed to pass a test. You will hear arguments that teachers do not teach to the test; but, if you were to request your districts curriculum, you would probably find that the teachers are told what to teach when. Students who "fall behind" are encouraged to go to tutoring or are pulled out of music, pe, etc to get the extra help.

Realizing each school is different, I would be very actively involved in my child's classroom as a volunteer. THis would give you the opportunity to see first hand what is being taught and how the classroom is run.

To me, the important things to look for are: Is my child learning the basics (phonics, problem solving, the love of learning)? Is the school meeting my child's emotional/social needs? Am I welcome in my child's classroom and encouraged to be involved in their education?

Again, I think your involvement in your child's education is the key which ever way you choose to go!

T.,
I know how you feel. I went through this same dilema just 2 years ageo. I too was a public school proponent. We are in the DISD school district and our elementary has only 30% neighborhood children attending. I visited this school over and over to convince myself there was no difference. But in the end I determined it was huge. The main thing I noticed was the lack of respect given to each child and how problems were handled. Yes, they will learn the same things at some point but HOW they are taught is quite different. In the end we chose a private school and the bills are scary. But I feel the investment is worth it. When looking at a private school ask what the % of graduates receive college scholarships. I think the numbers will amaze you. It is like investing on the front end and reaping the ultimate benefits. In the end follow your heart. You will know what to do. Good luck!

My children went to a private preschool (that would work on sounds and letters) and public school. So much is expected in Kindergarten that I believe that they need a good start before hand) I have one that graduated last year and she was accepted to all of the schools that she applied. She also had a perfect SAT score with out going to any prep classes for the SAT. I have a son that is a freshman and a daughter that is in 8th grade. I have found that a great education can be had in public schools but you have to work at keeping communications open. For some reason teachers are not ones to initiate the conversations but if you do then the information flows freely. By the way my children are in PISD school district.

We have had the same dilemma -- We have a five year old in PreK 4 (5 days a week) in private school. Truthfully it has been amazing. Two teachers to 16 kids. Our daughter surprises me everyday with what she is learning. We too are products of public school... But advice from my nephew. If you go private stay private and vice versa. He was in private school through the 6th grade then switched. He said he didn't know anyone and everyone else had been in school together for years. I realize it is minor but those were his comments last week we discussed it.

Our kids are at PCA. We don't go to church there and don't subscribe to all things Prestonwood. But we LOVE the school, we LOVE Lauren's teacher and have her enrolled for Kindergarten in the fall.

Hope this is helpful...

D.

My children are grown and went to public schools. They had some very good teachers and some who shouldn't have been teaching. My advice, for what it is, is to keep them in public schools and keep close to what is going on. I have known people who had their children in private schools and had the same type of problems. Our children went Prairie Creek Elementry, Richardson North, and JJ Pearce High and they were great. Had some rotten teachers but most were great. You can always put them in private down the road if the public doesn't work out.

As a public school teacher (and public school kid), I know that kids can get an excellent education in public schools if parents are invovled and supportive. A teacher friend and I were just discussing how much depends on the teacher your child has in a given year. (I think someone mentioned this, but private schools often don't have 100% certified teachers). You may have a year, or years, with teachers who are inexperienced and learning, or who are stressed out and need help. And you'll have years with teachers who are so amazing that your children will remember specific lessons all of their lives. The key in all of it is to be proactive. If you have a teacher you're not happy with, a class change within the school may be possible, but it may not (a principal who honors all parent requests generally doesn't support his/her teachers enough). There may be times, as you've done now, that you feel you have to move your kids. That said, I know I had less-than-ideal teachers along the way, and my parents never requested a switch or moved me. I think I developed good coping skills. Good luck in your choices and thanks for being a dedicated parent!

I can completely understand your dilemma. I live 2 blocks from a public school in Dallas, but did not feel comfortable sending my son there primarily because of the ratings that were published regarding testing, etc. So, he's been enrolled in a private Catholic school since pre-K and is doing quite well there.

There are a few suggestions that I would like to make - first, I'd schedule a meeting with the teacher and the principle and ask why you were not informed of your son's test results - and what they plan to do in the future. Explain to them that you are seriously considering changing schools for this very reason and ask them what they can do to gain your confidence. Second - you may want to have your son see a tutor. My son started at Score Education Center when he was 4 and I am convinced that's why he is such a good student. He loves to read as a result of learning so early at Score. Unfortunately, Score closed its doors in the DFW area in December (we were heart sick about it) but I have contracted with the Director and she continues to tutor my son once a week. She is very reasonable - if you are interested, her name is Wakesha Bush - ###-###-#### - she lives in Dallas and tutors all over the area. I think her strength is with reading. I referred her to another friend whose son is experiencing reading difficulties and they live in Plano. She met with the teacher to determine what he needed to work on. She is very, very good.

I, too, am a product of public schools (in Virginia) and have an MBA. If you can get a good grip on your son's school and regain your confidence in it, you may want to continue utilizing your tax dollars and send your kids to the public schools. Richardson is supposed to have wonderful schools - it may just be the teacher. I also suggest that maintain constant communication with his teacher. I do that with my son's teacher - I am at that school as often as possible and each year I try to be as active as I can (in spite of a full time job in the mortgage industry). If the teacher knows that you are not going away and you are very concerned about your son's on-going education, she will probably respect that and be more communicative with you.

Good luck! $30k/year for 12 years is a lot of money that should be going to a college fund!

I know this is a very difficult decision. I am going through the same one at this time in my life. My older 2 kids went to a private school through 8th grade. When my oldest got to high school (my younger son is in 6th grade) he said everything was SOOOOO easy for him. He got bumped up to pre-AP classes immediately. He has never been a good student and doesn't like school, but he was never so proud of himself to see that he has actually excelled in school.

My dilemma is my 3 year old. I am not in the same position financially to afford private school as easily, plus she's going to be older since her birthday is at the end of September and she's smart. We are also currenlty living in a school district that I don't believe is very good. My daughter was an unexpected blessing.

I think you need to consider also that private schools do not normally help children with any special needs and you will end up seeking private help or going through your school district.

In general, I think the majority of the private schools are great and give you children an academic advantage, but you are correct, they don't offer as many of the extracirricular activities.

Good luck with your decision. I've been praying about the same one for over a year now, and I'm still not sure what to do.

Dear T.,
I have one child who is 12, that attends a Christian School and my 10, and 8 attend Public School. Each child is different and every year my husband and I pray over each child and ask God to direct us as to where each should attend for the year. For example, my 12 yr old was not doing well in public because of the materialism pressure of living in a wealthy ISD. We are middle to upper class, but those around us are clearly upper and above. So, the best choice for him was Christian for a fimer foundation in God and to just be in a smaller environment in order to make lifetime friends.

Our 10 year old just came to us a day ago and said she feels God wants her to be home schooled. She is also in the wealthy public ISD and social issues arise weekly with her. I cannot tell you how many times she has gotten off the bus in tears and not understanding what in the world happened today at school. The socail life of a 4th grader is already feel with lots of pressures to feel thin and accepted. My daughter is not a stick as they call it in 4th grade. One day my daughter told me that all the stick girls sit at one luch table and the husky girls sit at the other. How awful is that at the age of 10 already. What kind of society do we live in?

My third child is 8 and has special ed needs. We have to keep him in Pulbic becuase private cannot meet his needs.

So, I write to you becuase our three kids are very much different. I feel like you should not put so much pressure on yourself about ivy school in the future. God has a plan for your child already. Obiously you and your husband turned out magnificently. Don't get so caught up in our worlds trap of bigger is always better! You as a parent just need to be constantly praying over him so someday his destiny will become reality. Growing up on the East Coast and then coming to Texas 6 years ago, my husband and I realzie that Texas in general is very competivie in all things. Especailly sports, and also academics. Sometimes it seems as though our kids just cannot come home and relax after school they have to hit the books in order to complete all the homework given in public scshool. I love living here but I refuse to be part of the school politics and the voulunteers at school who show up in fancy clothes and heels just to impress Mr. and Mrs. Jones down the street. My kids are learning just fine at the pulbic school. It is the parents who need to lay off with the high expectations and competiveness in our schools in North Texas. Let our kids be kids they grow up way too fast in our world today. Give them a stick to go play outside and learn the natural way. We have all gotten trapped by our world that our kids need the best of everything in order to succeed. I did not have everything and I went to college and now as a preschool teacher. Whatever calling is on a persons life, God will fullfill and honor that request!
This is a hard decision for you and your husband. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons when you switch to private instead of social stautus. God knows your heart and will honor your hearts desires if you seek and chase after HIS WILL.
Blessings to you and I will be praying for all of you. P.S. It has been a true sacrifice for our family to pay high tuition for Chiristian school but a true blessing for my son. Ours is half of what you will pay per child. You may want to look around a bit before settiling. We attned a great one in McKinney.

Hello T.,
My husband and I can relate to your situation. You can place your child in public or private at anytime. Private school is supposed to have lower teacher:student ratios vs public and most incorporate a faith based curriculum. Private school also provides a closer community of families. Is it worth the $30,000 a year?
My husband and I are also products of a public school education and we have three children (6 year old boy, 3 year old girl, 6 month old boy). We have had our son in both. He was in a private preschool through kindergarten and we had him attend kindergarten again in public school. He was a young five year old for his first year and felt he needed another year to mature socially and be with kids the same age. Academically he is strong.

This year my son's kindergarten class had 18 kids, if he would have attended private school the teacher:student ratio was the same. It was not worth it for our situation.

I think your public school experience depends on the teacher. Some teachers are more proactive to get the parents involved and some unfortunately are not. You can always request a parent-teacher conference as often as you like. I think communication is the key. Your teacher dropped the ball. If you find your child is struggling in a particular area, you can invest in a private tutor to work with him on a weekly/biweekly basis to get him to excel in his weak areas. I live in a great public school district and I have heard first grade is very demanding. I have many friends who have their children in private tutoring just to keep ahead. Many of the teachers do provide private tutoring for extra money. We decided to keep my son in public school and pay for the private tutoring as needed and sign him up for great academic summer programs instead of investing in private school. My husband agreed that we can invest in private tutoring throughout his education to make sure he does well academically and increase our chances of him being in the top of his class. I have heard awful stories from friends who invested in private school and their children couldn't even get into UT or Texas A&M because they were not in the Top 10% of their class. Good Luck in whatever you decide.
B.

Dallas public schools (in my opinion) are not that great for children with learning differences (reading, math ect..) I can say this because 2 of my three children are of high intelligence,but lack the skills in learning the "traditional way of public schools". We struggle and fight our way to get our son (11years old) the education and respect from his public (LISD)school. My younger son is at SHELTON school (which is amazing and VERY expensive) We can hardly afford it for one child. I would get your son tested by a private and public education facility to see if he does have any learning differences. I would not send my child to a private school UNLESS they really understand and cater to different learning styles. If they dont, then its just a waste of money in my opinion (I did that and regret it) Ive been going through this for 11 years now, and I still wonder what is best,(thats being a Mom I guess) but dont settle for private being the answer to your worries....I hope I helped. I never respond to these questions, but felt your pain and wanted to share my thoughts. J.

Dear T. -

I think you should do what is in your heart and not let one incident throw you off your chosen path. This is coming from a mom of two children, 26 and 24 who were both educated completely in Catholic grade schools and high schools. Both earned very nice scholarships to the colleges of their choice and came out of college owing very little in student loans (approx. $5K each).

BUT - as you have just learned, private school education comes at a cost and it is difficult to switch schools later. A child becomes accustomed to being a "private school kid" and he/she and/or their friends may see going to public school later as a step-down.

Remember, the most significant aspect of a child's success in school is PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. Stay involved, contact your child's teacher every week or every month to make sure you know what's happening. With the money you save on tuition, you can afford special tutoring in areas he/she may lack.

And just because a child is in private school doesn't mean there won't be problems. In my view, the second most important factor for a child's school success is consistancy. Don't pull a child in and out of schools lightly. Instead, find ways to solve any perceived problems or work around them.

Hope this helps,

P.

I have one child in a public school (RISD - award winning elementary school) and another to be in kindergarten next year. Overall I have been very pleased but have a couple of issues. My daughter has struggled with reading and needed tutoring even though her grade was fine. Before you give up on the school, I might suggest being very proactive and involved as much as you can. It is hard since I am working outside the home, but I have developed a positive relationship with the teacher and we use e-mail to correspond often. Private schools are excellent but if you are worried about the cost you might want to give it another chance. That's just my experience but I'd be happy to talk with you more, since it sounds like our schools are similar - Good Luck!

Don't let this one teacher reflect on how all public school teachers communicate with parents. RISD has an excellent reputation. This teacher should have communicated information to you about your child. That being said, it is imperative that you get involved in your child's progression and you need to make sure that you are proactive in doing so. This will prevent any communication breakdowns. Save your money and keep them in public school. If you were in DISD, I would say differently.

sounds like this situation was the result of this specific teacher's own negligence to inform you about this matter. -- not a reflection on the ENTIRE public school system. Don't judge the whole system on the negligence on ONE person.

This specific teacher was/is not a good communicator obviously. I know many public school teachers who LOVE to stay in touch with their parents -- they even hand out their own personal email addresses so they email each other back and forth.

And from my friends who have tried finding entry level teaching jobs in the public/private systems.... the hiring requirements for entry level are less strict at private schools. I know ... weird huh. You'd think they would be tougher. private schools typically pay their teachers less (way less) because they offer the teachers discounts on tuition for their own kids. Public school teachers are paid higher - and therefore you get more veterans working in the public arena. That's what I've witnessed in my teacher friends and in my experience in public school so far.

public vs. private is a personal choice but honestly I'm saving my money for the kids' college fund.

T., both of my boys started in public school and I when the youngest was being bullied and the teachers were doing nothing I put him in private school. I am glad I did I believe overall he got a better education than my oldest did. His faith which was strengthend in the private school helped him through the turbulent years of high school. If I had to do it over again I would put both of them in private school until high school and then let them decide wheather to stay in private or go to public school. My husband is a teacher and has been in both the public and private scene and he feels he is able to meet the students needs better in private do to the smaller class sizes.

Both my husband and myself attended public school,we are both professionals and make a decent living. Our daughters are grown, the last fledgling is graduating from high school in May. We struggled with the same questions. My husband had been a teacher in both public and private schools so we felt like we had good information but it was still a very difficult decision. We spent well over 100K on our girls before they even went to college. I feel that it was worth it. They received more individualized attention. We knew what was going on at school and with our children socially and academically. They had plenty of options/opportunities even though they were at a smaller school. In high school, they were required to do community service. This was a great experience for both of them. Both girls were accepted at every college they applied to and received scholarship offers, so this helped recoup some of the cash we laid out for their education, plus were were able to continue to put money in their trust funds during their elementary and high school years. Good luck. It is tough sacrificing some things, trips, a nicer house, but we chose education. D.

I grew up in a private school through the 8th grade and then went to public school for high school. Academically I was ahead when I went to the public school, but socially (I was a very shy child.) it was difficult at times to adjust to the much larger school. The problems I did have, I probably would have had anyway, I just would have known more people as I went into the school. That being said, my son will be going into K and going to the public school (PISD) and I am very impressed by what I've seen there. My plan is to try to keep open communication from the very beginning and watch him closely. I'm probably going to be one of "those" parents...you know, always there volunteering for stuff.

I don't believe any school at this point is a guarantee of an Ivy League school later. I know none of my friends/classmates from my private school ended up IL, but none of us are doing badly either. The main thing I'm looking for for my son is that he's being challenged, learning and happy.

T. you of course have to do what you feel is best for your family. I, however, would consider that if your son indeed does have any learning difficulties private may not be the route to go. Many of the private schools don't offer services or have the services to provide. I'd check into the programs your private school has to offer.

As for public schools I am a firm believer in them. I am a public school educator. I feel however that it is imperative for parents and I'm including myself to stay on top of what is going on with our children in the school. We have to ask for conferences and watch every paper etc that comes home. We need to read with our children daily. Often we can prevent miscommunication by being the person that initiates the communication. We as parents have to remember that teachers have to deal with 22 kids a day and times that by 2 parents a day. I'm not saying the teacher was in the right by not having contacted you. I'm just saying we have to keep in constant dialogue with the teacher whether our child is doing well or not. Hope this makes sense.

Hi T.,

I would say that it is a problem of the teacher and not the public school. In the future, I'd call a parent-teacher conference to let the new teacher know of your expectations whenever there is the least bit of concern regarding progress or understanding in any topic. Just like medicine, there are great teachers out there in public sector. Make your support of the teacher known early and voice your concerns early as well. This teacher sounds either subpar or overwhelmed. Don't give up on public schools as I don't think the dollar figure you cited should be spent. Use that money to hire private tutors once in a while if need be on specific topics. Private schools have their share of incompetence also, we had our daughter in a private school and pulled her to public once we moved. She thrived in public and socially was much more in set with her peers. She's a very successful adult, much as are you and your hubby. Again, I think bad teacher, not bad system.

Bev S

Have you heard of the book "Freakonomics"? There is a chapter that talks about public vs private and vouchers etc. Basically they did the research and came to the conclusion that kids seem to do better in private schools (and higher ranked public schools) simply because those are the schools that the more supportive and involved parents send their kids to. In fact they even go as far as to point out that these parents often aren't conciously even making the decision to be involved - it is just the way they are - the whole environment and attitude the family has to education and societal values. I can't explain it so well, but it really is a fascinating book. Anyway, basically the result is that so long as you are in any decent school district, it is really you as a parent that makes the difference in bringing our child up well educationally as well as socially. Although my children are still too young to think about schools, it really made me lean toward public schooling and save my money to be sure they can attend any college they want in order to pursue their dreams. What good is a private school aducation, if I can't afford to send them to the college they really want to attend. That happened to me and I will absolutely not let that happen to my children.

I would stick with the public school. Ivy League or not your child sounds like they are getting a great education. Your son is only in Kindergarten. At this age there can be huge disparities in reading, but kids tend to catch up. Talk to his teacher about not finding out about his scores until 4 months later. At this age it may simply be that your son enjoys math and is not all that interested in reading. That is common for kids who have strong math abilities. My husband was one of those, also a product of RISD, and now is software engineer. Give public schools a chance. Like I said, your son is only in Kindergarten. Honestly, the most important thing kids learn in K is social skills! I am a former teacher and have my degree in education.