Hello Moms,
My oldest son is 3 yrs old and is not enrolled in a preschool but I know he would LOVE it. He is very smart and he loves to learn. I was away a lot during the summer and didn't even THINK about preschool...he's just growing up so fast. My question: is it too late to enroll him, and do you know of any good ones? I live in the Quivera Park/Stoll Park area.
My next question is about eating habits. My son takes FOREVER to eat his dinner and that is with a lot of prompting and reminding him not to play. I think it could be due to the fact that I have catered to his palette (spelling?) before and made what I knew he'd eat. I'm tired of making seperate meals for all 4 of us (because of my own diet restrictions, baby food, 3 yr old food, and regular food for my husband) and I have decided that they need to eat what I make. I have heard that a child needs to try something 20 times before you give up on them liking it...or something like that (from a nutritionist). My husband's ideas were to try time outs when he would play at the table, straight to bed if he didn't eat his dinner, or to take away toys & priveliges (spelling?). I brought up the one we've all heard...no snacks or drinks if he doesn't eat his food. My husband doesn't seem to think it will work but I think it's worth a try.
While I was gone this summer for family reasons, my husband tried: time outs- he still took forever; straight to bed- he'd sit down at the table and the first thing he'd say is I'm ready for bed (even at 5:30 because he didn't want to even try what was at the table); he also just took away his electric motorcycle for 2 days. Not working so far.
WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED, DID IT WORK? WHAT OTHER IDEAS DO YOU HAVE?
Thanks!
J.
Thank you guys for all of your input, there was some great advice in there. I think it can be hard when Daddy and Mommy come from two different lifestyles. My husband's family and mine have been family friends since I was a month old and his little sister is even named after my Mom. Even though we are so close we are so different. I don't know if it's because my husband is male or if it's the way he grew up but his approach is totally different than mine and I'm sure it can be confusing. We sat down to talk about our options and he is willing to try "my way" which is: No more than 3 items on the plate with at least one I know he likes, He has to at least TRY his food and if he doesn't eat it...no snacks, etc...until the next meal. I think the timer is a great idea...I don't know why I didn't think of it. I guess that's what mamasource is for, right?
My suggestions are: set a timer on how long he has to eat. When the timer goes off- no more food, snacks, or whatever. I disagree with punishing him when he plays at the table or takes too long to eat- he's 3- it's what they do. He'll learn to eat when food is in front of him- or he'll be hungry.
Hi, J.. I agree that you should have one meal for all. Otherwise, your children will not learn to try new foods. It does take lots of exposure to different foods before a child might take an interest or eat a new food. I do not recommend punishment for not eating. Then, dinner time becomes a power struggle, which is not enjoyable for anyone. If your son chooses not to eat, then he misses dinner. I do recommend that you not give him anything later in the evening if he says he is hungry. He will learn to try what is on his plate if he is truly hungry. I have a picky eater, and I try to put one thing on his plate that we are all eating that he likes, so I know he has eaten something. If he wants more of the thing he likes, he has to try a bite of something else on his plate, then I will give him more. Again, I do not think anything good comes out of disciplining a child about what they are or are not eating. This is one of the few areas a child has control over. It will just turn into a power struggle. If you are concerned with his weight or him not getting enough nutrients, then start giving him gummy vitamins. Keep giving him lots of choices and good luck!
I recommend ROLLING HILLS PRESCHOOL at 9300 Nall. Phone 9)###-###-#### or the office at church 9)###-###-####.
I attneded a wonderful "conscious Discipline" course taught by Becky Baily... she is amazing and her teaching is some of the best. Get her book! (I have 3 and 5 yr old boys.) At dinner time when this is a challenge, set a timer (even just on the microwave if the little one can't read the clock yet), explain that when it is 6pm, or whatever time is best for your family, that dinner is over and the "kitchen is closed." It may be a few days before he realizes that you mean business, but just be consistent, don't give in (he won't starve, but he will become more focused AND learn to respect Mommy's word more seriously. When he says he is hungry later, consistently empathize honestly with him, but then say "I am so sorry Honey, you know Mommy said that the kitchen is closed now... but we will have a nice yummy breakfast first thing in the morning." ETC. Be firm, or you will will be dealing with these things forever and it will affect everyone's quality of life. Blessings, and bon courage.
if his plate is too full it may look overwhelming to him. Try giving him small portions of 2-3 items at a time and encourage him to at least take 1 bite. The rule I always had with my kids was you at least have to take a bite of new foods to see if you like it even foods that someone else has prepared because everyone cooks things differently and they may end up liking a food that someone else made and they didn't like the way I fixed it. It seemed to work. Another thing I did often was read them the Green Eggs and Ham book by Dr. Seuss and when the book was over I would explain to them what the book meant-- that all foods may look different or some may look gross or sound gross but just try it and you may actually like it.
These seemed to work for me and they are older now and have learned there are a lot of foods that they like and some they don't. One example is none of my kids will eat canned veggies but they will eat just about all the frozen or raw veggies. I don't blame them for not wanting to eat canned veggies and they aren't that healthy with all that added sodium and preservatives anyway so I don't complain and am happy they eat veggies.
If your child likes the food and still won't eat it all I would have them eat 3-5 bites before they could leave the table but I didn't make them eat things they didn't like.
St Paul's Preschool in Lenexa (79th & Lackman) has openings. My son is 3 and in the Children's Day Out class which is just one morning a week. I know his class is not full. My son is a picky, picky eater too. They only eat a snack during his class, but when he sees other kids eating, he tends to follow their lead - "monkey see, monkey do". Maybe if your son saw other kids eating well, he would follow? Good Luck!
www.stpaulslenexa.org/preschool
Both of my older boys went to the Sonshine School at the Overland Park Church of Christ at 119th and Pflumm. It was wonderful and the directors Ginger and Sue are great. I don't know if they have openings, but they are good about waiting lists.
I have a super picky eater too. I'd be happy to talk to you about some things we've tried, and about the preschool too. ###-###-####.
We have a similar problem with our 6 year old. We have had a lot of success with setting a time limit for her to eat. We set an egg timer by her plate with 20 or 30 minutes for her to eat, and when time is up, her plate disappears. If she doesn't clean her plate, she doesn't get snacks or dessert. We have also found that having a dessert that she really likes is a huge motivator. She will shovel thru whatever she doesn't like on her plate, if she knows there is ice cream waiting for her at the end. Hope this helps!
My son is very picky....I am happy if I can get a decent amount of good food in him in at least one meal a day....which is fine with his pediatrician and he said to be expected at this age. We try to have him sit with us at the table while we eat dinner even if he has no interest. We refer to eating all of the food off our plate as a "happy" plate and a "sad" plate when we leave food. I have just learned to relax about his eating and try to offer him wholesome foods most of time.....he does like his sweets though and would love to eat cake and ice cream all the time!!!
Unfortunately we have gotten him into a bad habit of drinking a "shake"...either Boost or Carnation Instant breakfast mixed with milk. He insists upon it first thing in the morning....it is like his coffee and he is cranky until he has it!!! We started this b/c he is such a poor eater and when he went to daycare full-time I could never get him to eat breakfast at 7 am and wanted him to have something in case he didn't eat the food at daycare.
Basicly, just know you are not the only parent with a picky child and don't feel bad if he doesn't eat....if he is hungry he will eat!!!
N.
