Preschooler Preschool - San Jose, CA

Totally and completely normal - she'll be over it very soon. Its a big transition for a little girl to make from being at home with a family member and no siblings to being around lots of other children (some very aggressive, some not). She will have to learn to share and even put up a fight for a toy when someone takes it away, and find that some children are good for making friends and that other children can be very mean. She will have to find her independence quickly and learn to rely on herself as opposed to Mom or Grandpa .She's learning an entirely new set of rules, both socially and in class - but children learn quickly and are very resilient. This is just a very normal and healthy transition into a new social and academic word. Talk to her about her days at school in as much detail as she will tell you, be interested, and help her solve social situations that she expresses she may need "help" with

Absolutely normal! My son did the same. I think they are excited about something new and the independance but soon realize it means they are away from the one they love.any new routine for my son means a little getting used to and same as me yes he has good and bad days!my husband almost always picked up our son and they had an afternoon routine of snack and play,it made it better for him to know he had the same fun to look forward to everyday after school.we also got very excited when he brought home art and things so he was proud of what he did at school and looked forward to bringing more home for the fridge!also,check if they have a dance class or something.my son took dance and so looked forward to tuesdays!dont worry before you know it shell love school and how much m ore when schools with mommy!

Hi, M....

My 4 year old begins Pre-Kindergarten next week, so I am a bit nervous myself. My (now nearly 8 year old) was much like yours at pre-K... She was wonderful for the first 1 1/2 or 2 weeks and then decided the newness was over and not so much fun anymore.. THEN, after 2 weeks of that, she mellowed out again and was fine. Thereafter, she had good and bad days, like all of us. so.. 1) this is normal 2) yes, it's a phase 3) yes, they definitely have their good/bad days.... all this is my opinion, of course, derived from my own experiences... Good luck and let us know it works out!
L.

Hi M., I am a full time legal assistant myself and have been doing so for 17 years. My daughter went through the same thing. Yes, it is normal. And yes, they do have their good days and bad days. With my daughter, I thought some weeks were never going to end because she cried too much or she was asked to be picked up because her temper was out of control. Now that she is in kindergarten this year, she had one minor meltdown but has not had one since. Cross my fingers. They have their ups and downs and it is all part of finding themselves. I would actually read the book 1-2-3 magic, it is a great book and it will actually help you with discipline issues when you open up your own in-home daycare. I wish you luck on that venture. The in-home daycare I took my daughter was so great that she did not have to advertise at all, all her referrals were from word of mouth and she always has a waiting list. She had my daughter's spot taken 6 months before she left for kindergarten. So if you are a loving mom, which I am sure you are, and you love kids tremendously, you will have a very successful in home daycare.

As Jennifer, Shannon and Kristin said it is very normal! They also mentioned that it can come and go, I'd like to emphasize that as my daughter who was 4 1/2 at the time wouldn't want to go to a drop off day care but then would also not be ready to go when I came back. I guess there can be two issues, seperation and also transitioning between activities. Also, it is VERY normal for this to "tug at your heartstrings". Even knowing it is normal doesn't stop the Mom feelings, just act confident with her, let her know you love her and that you'll see her soon and don't linger.

Hi M.,

First of all let me congratulate you for putting your priorties in order. I did the same thing, opened a day care in my home. My daughter learned socialization and how to share, both her mom's attention, as well as her "space". But good for you, you'll be raising your child as opposed to having some babysitter do it.

About pre-school: since she liked it at the beginning and suddenly didn't I'd want to have a private (you and your husband) sitdown with the director and tell her what's going on. Something could have happened at school that has made her uncomfortable and you need to find out what it is. Don't bother being a burden to the preschool. They understand (or should at least) that you are handing over your most prized treasure and I know they must get inquiries all the time. That's what new mom's do. Also helps to "drop in" every now and then and offer your volunteer services. That can help you see your little sweetie in action, if her moods change and why. Good luck to you M., and I applaud your perspective. I wish we had more mom's like you that are willing to take children in to YOUR home, make major adjustments finacially (we went to only 1 car, no vacations or luxuries... but we can all do it if it's important enough to you. Unfortunlately, many women find it too difficult and go back to work because it's easier. maybe society wouldn't be in the mess it's in if more mama's stayed home and raised their kids. Best to you!!

V.

Yes this is normal for a lil one to have good days and bad days. I know from what my mom use to tell me when I was younger one of the teachers had to pick me up and take me away cause I was crying that hard and for a long time. She is just getting use to her new environment that's all. The only thing that you can do is just talk to her about it everyday and see how she is doing. The more she goes the more she will like it and not cry.

Im glad you posted this question because my 2 1/2 year old son did the exact same thing and for the two weeks he cried I kept wondering if someone did something mean to him. After reading all these replies I realize, it seems, many kids do this!

Yes, this sounds like a normal adjustment to a big, new change. Yes, it sounds like a phase, plus, three is a notoriously uh, interesting, age. Yes, children have good and bad days.

In other words, don't worry! Give her some time to adjust and she'll be fine!

Hi,
Its perfectly normal for the kids to have good days and bad. It is also normal to have great drop offs for months and then all of a sudden your child will start crying during drop offs. My daughter is 3 and does really well with reward system. So we tell her if she has good drop offs all week we will get her a present on Saturday and then we get her some little thing.
Some days they are just sad and tired and want to stay home which is normal

Thats totally normal. My daughter did the exact same thing, but her crying about going to preschool lasted longer than two weeks. she did that for a couple of months (but she only went to school 2 days a week, i believe they adjust faster if they go 5 days a week). At first she was fine with going to school, no tears, and i was so relieved that she was ok with it. After that first week, the tears began. She is now happy to go to school/daycare. In fact, she has been home with me over the summer, and she has been begging to go back!

They have their good days and their bad days. Just make sure she is dropped off and picked up around the same time. Routine is best :) I know how hard it is. I think it will be great for you to be home with your child :)

Dear M.,

Yes, it is very normal for a three year old to behave just the way that your daughter did. They have to make up their minds about whether or not the new situation is as good as the one that they are used to. Day Care is just wonderful for children, and for the parents too. They need to be able to see a different part of the world than just
their immediate family and home and park and neighborhood.

I have run two day care centers and watched carefully about how the children adjusted and if it were truly the right thing for them, and over and over again, I have seen the children blossom and gain so much knowledge and many experiences that will enrich their lives from now on.

For one thing, they get acquainted with so many friends that they will love for the rest of their lives and enjoy other friends so much more because of this time with learning how to be a friend.

Secondly, they learn to be comfortable in a school atmosphere - and that is a big advantage - if you are not comfortable, then you will not learn - you may learn to be uncomfortable in public places if you do not get this type of 'away from Momma and Home time'. They gain a lot of confidence, and surely you realize how important self confidence will be to them in the future.

Also, they learn to 'pay attention and be respectful and trust a person called a teacher' - how wonderful a gift could you give your child that will help them all through their school years and beyond. If you do not pay attention and focus in school and feel comfortable and that you are in a safe place, then you will not be as successful as you can be.

I think those are pretty powerful reasons that children should go to preschool, day care, then are able to enter Kindergarten a veteran of school and making friends and know how to be respectful and converse with a teacher.

Sincerely, C. N.