Preparing Toddler for New Sibling

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Hey J.,

Congratulations! I'm expecting in about 5 weeks. My son is 19 months old. They are really probably too young to totally understand, but here are some of the things I have done. My son likes to hide, so I tell him the baby is hiding, like a kangaroo, in my tummy. Then he says, "Boo." and I tell him the baby will come out of hiding soon.

We also got his several dolls which he now will put in the baby swing or the crib or even tuck in at night. We read stories to the baby dolls and practice being gentle with them. He didn't understand a month ago, but now he seems to get it a little.

On th bright side, a lactation consultant told me that kids under 2 handle the change much better than kids over two. They are just more flexible and accepting I guess. Good luck!

I am also expecting my second and have a son who will be 16 months when the new baby is born. I know that he dosent under stand that another baby is coming. I did however get him a baby doll that I have been showing him how to touch nice and rock in the carseat gently. Most of the time he dosen't want anything to do with the doll, but some times he brings it a toy and I tell him that he will make a great big brother. Once the baby is born the doll will be there if he wants to feed it while I feed the baby. I think its worth a try at least he will learn how you expect him to touch and play with a real baby.

J.,

congratulations. What an exciting time for your family.

I have to say that at the age of 18 months your son probably doesn't understand what is going on. The concept is very abstract at this point for him to be able to understand developmentally. That being said, don't stop talking about the baby. Talk about him when he was a baby. Tell him what a big brother he will be. He won't get it now, but he might remember some ofo it when the baby arrives.

I think that with this age it isn't so much what you do to prepare them before the baby arrives, but after that makes the most difference. With my kids, I always had a gift for them when they came to visit me and the new baby in the hospital. It was a gift from the baby just for his/her big sibling. Remember to give your son his own time after the baby comes. I tried to use baby nap time for a cuddle, a book, and maybe some tv time. Make it something special just for the two of you. get him involved in the care of the baby if he is interested (he may not be interested), such as holding baby's hand, getting the diaper for mom, sitting with mom and baby while feeding.

Don't be surprised if he regresses a bit when the baby comes. He may want to have a pacifier back, or try the bottle again, etc. This is usually short lived if he doesn't get attention for it.

These are a few of the things I have learned and had success with personally. I wish you luck, and remember children are more resilient then we think they are. Change is part of their lives.

I think at that age you don't really need to worry about it. My three are all 2 years apart. Even then I really didn't prepare them much for it and they were fine. The great thing was it that they were to young to remember being an only child so we didn't have any issues between 1 & 2.

I talked more about the baby when she arrived. Do's and Dont's and why Mommy has to spend more time with the baby. Saying this, my children have never been clinging and I've never had to deal with seperation issues.

I think preparing a child for a new sibling is very important when they are older, but is probably not so critical at this age.

Good Luck

My two boys are 22 months apart.

To prepare my first son, we let him rub mommy's belly and tell him there is a baby brother in there who will be here soon, just like when you were first born. Then when we got things for the new baby (clothes) we would put it on my belly and asked him if he liked his new brothers outfit...

we got him books on being a big brother and he helped set up his baby brothers cradle...and we waited and waited.

kids (even at 18 months) can understand more than we give them credit for, I would share with him as much as you possibly can.

Once the new baby was here, when he saw his baby brother for the first time, we made sure it was only us in the room (me, the father, new baby and our first DS)...when we had visitors come, we told them in advance to dote on the first son when they walked through the door, then the new baby...taking the attention off the new baby, this really helped in him not feeling pushed aside. We had our guests do this for about two weeks, also if they brought the new baby a gift, to bring the older son a small gift too (a matchbox car was usually the gift he got, but the kid loves cars! This way he never felt pushed aside, and I never really had any problems with him acting out to get attention.

congratulations!