Pregnant Again at 41? - Portland,OR

My mother had my twin sisters at 42. She had wonderful support from myself and 2 other older sisters. It was a lot of work to have two little ones for her, but she managed.

My Father stayed around until the girls were about 4 years old, then he left. It did get rather challenging, to raise two energetic little girls and make ends meet. Remember, it is possible you can make them pay, but visits are only if they want to. Although we all thought he would visit with them and help with share, he didn't.

She retired after they were both already adults, however, they both have mental issues, so they still live with her. I don't see either one of them going on their own.

Sorry if this sounds negative, it is a true series of events.

I am not in my 40s but I have a sister in law who is the same age as you and is pregnant with her second son. She LOVES it!!! I say as long as your doctor says it's safe and it's what you want GO FOR IT!!!! There are parents of all ages out there and every age group has it's advantages (and disadvantages). If you ultimately want more than one and have the means and love to go around than good for you!! :)

If you are able to care for your son and a sibling and provide them with a loving home then I say go for it!

My SIL had her son when she was 40 and her daughter when she was 47 (almost 48).

I'm 39 with a 2 y/o and a 10 month old. We're still open to the idea of a third. Honestly, I love having two. 5 years ago my DH wanted to move back to his home town, an area where most people have a kid by the time they're 20. The majority of moms in my area who are my age are preparing their kids for HS graduation, not pre-school, but I wouldn't change a thing about having kids in my late 30's. I think I have more patience, but can still easily keep up with them. My DH is 29 and I think I have an easier time running around with them than he does. When it comes down to it, if you and you DH feel a second baby will complete your family, then go for it. Don't let being 41 stand in your way. And if it means anything, where I grew up it's perfectly normal for women to have babies in their 30's and 40's. Most of my friends in HS have infants and toddlers or are pg.

A.

If you and your hubby want to then go for it. My husband just turned 50 and we have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. He is a great daddy and they love him to pieces. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I had my first child at 38, my second at 41, and if my husband would agree, I'd try for a third today (I'm 42 1/2). If you are healthy and committed, I'd say go for it. That said, I notice how much more tired I am now than with just one child, and thinking ahead, am a little concerned how tired I will be when they hit their teens. But I adore both of my children and they love each other, I can't imagine our lives any differently.

I am older than you and I am pursuing adoption, so I say do whatever is best for your family! Many will tell you that you will be too old to keep up with the kids, but I think that having youthful energy around us will keep us young, active, and alert as we age. Besides, older parents are generally wiser and more stable. Follow your heart!

Hi - I have 3 boys (ages 24 months, 5 yrs, and 7.5 yrs) and I'm 43 (turning 44 in April). My best advice to you is to go by your gut. Even though I never planned to have 3 kids (they WERE planned, but in my earlier years I never thought I'd have even one, much less three!), somehow, in my gut, I felt I wasn't done - I just knew that my 3rd one would complete my family and he did. However, if your intuition is telling you that one more would throw you over the edge and that you are totally happy with just one, listen to it. The other thing to factor in is your and your husband's health. I've met plenty of 40 somethings that could pass for early thirties and who are bursting with health, but I've also met some that seemed like they were in their 50s and who were already experiencing health problems. The other thing is that you never know what you will get, child-wise. My first one was super colicky and kept me up all night (hello gray hairs!) and has been through a million therapists (speech, OT, psych, etc.), but my middle one was very content, self-entertaining and happy-go-lucky. My last one is still nursing and co-sleeping, which is pretty exhausting, but in other ways he's incredibly easy going. That being I imagine my life would be hell right now if my second and third sons had had the same problems as my first one. You have to be ready for this.

Good luck whatever your decision!

-P.

My DH and I just turned 41 and we have 6 children. They range in age from 11yrs to 15 months. We are loving it. Children are a blessing.

My very good friend is now 47, she has a 4 1/2 yr old & just turned 2 yr old. Your kids will be close in age. So as long as you are willing and able I say you should go for it. Kids will keep you young too.. If you were done you wouldn't be asking this question, so go for it.

I am due in April with my second and will be 41 in a few weeks. I am really looking forward to having two, would love three, but don't know if that is in the cards. My best friend who is 41 is also trying for another. I say go for it!

Statistically, a child born to older parents tend to be less healthy, and as the parents grow older, they'll have less quality time with the parents. Thus, at 41, there's really no reason to have a child. Your son will be fine on his own. He truly will benefit from having your full attention. There's no need to create another being just so he has friends.

I know so many people who had kids in their 40's that you would faint.
None of them intended it. They were surprise babies and the parents were (and are) THRILLED.
It's kind of a different dynamic. The people I know had kids in high school or graduated. Then a baby.
They are actually more patient and enjoy the little ones more.
We mellow with age.
In a seriously good way.
If you feel you can't handle it, then take precautions, but the 40-ish moms I know wouldn't change a single thing.
If you want another child, I say go for it. No time like the present.
My kids are 10 years apart so the 40 thing wasn't an option for me. Having a kid at 50 would have been out of the question.
If you can have another baby, do it. They'll be close in age and you'll love every minute of it, I'm sure.

Best wishes!