Potty Training Setback

Updated on November 19, 2006
A.H. asks from Birmingham, AL
12 answers

My daughter will turn 4 in February. Back in April I lost my job and became a SAHM. When she was in daycare she was potty trained and never had accidents. The only time we had any trouble was when my son was born which was understandable but once she started back to daycare even those accidents stopped. She still wore a diaper to bed and we were on our way to eliminating that. In August we moved in with my in-laws and ever since she has had a constant stream of accidents. Now we can't even go a day without one. I know that it is most likely because of the move and all the changes but it needs to stop. We have tried rewards both short term and long term (5 days), we have tried punishment, talking and tons of encouragment and nothing seems to help. PLEASE HELP!!

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K.A.

answers from Norfolk on

hello A.. my name is K.. what i did with my kids is did a sticker chart ., everytime they went they got a sticker. i tried the candy thing but that got too much. maybe do a cookie or a fruit. something small. good luck

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L.M.

answers from Charlotte on

I used to work in daycare and we had a schedule of bringing the 2 and 3 year old kids to the bathroom. The same technique may work for your daughter as I'm sure she had the consistency while back in school.

Every hour, if possible, ask her if she needs to use the bathroom and suggest that she "try" even if she says no. Don't keep her here for the afternoon if she doesn't go- just a few minutes.

Not sure if you've already tried this method, but it's worth a try- good luck.

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C.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I would make sure that she doesnt have a blader infection making her blader hard to control.

Try monopoly money also as incouragement.. When she goes in the potty she gets a dollar and when she has an accident she loses one. She will learn quick not to lose those a dollar. After she reached 10 dollars she can trade it in for something special like a small inexpensive toy or maybe some costume jewelry just something she enjoys. Worked with my son.

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Check out www.pottytrainingsoluations.com they sell a product called PODs and it is for potty training in all stages. We used it for our daughter when she was having accidents and just having a hard time getting completely potty trained and it worked terrific. I know your frustration and you are also against a clock if you are sending her to school next year, believe me I have been where you are and these did the job. I wish you the best.

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L.

answers from Charlotte on

Have you tried getting her to talk about how she feels about the move and all? Maybe if you can help her identify her feelings about it she can deal with it that way rather than by having "accidents." It sounds like she needs reassurance that she is safe and secure - more of it since her world changed so much. Hope that helps. Blessings!

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T.B.

answers from Norfolk on

First of all I will say that (in my experience with kids) this is a normal setback. Things have changed for your little girl which causes all kinds of emotions that they do not know how to handle yet. Be consistant with her, that is the biggest thing. And try not to get mad at her for having accidents, this can cause even more setbacks. I know how frustrated you must feel about the whole thing because I went through a similar thing with my son and even today, if his routines get messed up, he will have accidents. I know now that this is not entirely his fault, he is an emotional kid and the changes upset him.

I have had experience with kids other than my own and one of the biggest things was that once they were put into "big kid underwear" they could not be put back into diapers. Pull-ups of some sort or training pants but not diapers. This makes them feel like they are babies again and if they are babies they do not need to use the potty. I have actually been told that by some of the kids in the day care where I work. Sometimes the best thing you could do is to sit with them when they go to the potty. Make it a special time, read a book with her, sing a song (my favorite is the ABC's), or just talk to her about what a big girl she is being by going to the potty.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Huntsville on

it took a while to potty train my daughter and we moved too. She had been through quite a bit at age 2 through 5. Just be patient with her. Take her to the doctors and make sure she has no infections first. Then observe her to make sure she has no adverse reactions to being around anyone in the household. If she is affraid of someone or uncomfortable around someone, that will make her pee. You will have to be as observant as you can in this time of change. Be aware of everything and change whatever negative things you can. I know it will be difficult but it is all i can offer.

Good Luck and God Bless

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O.L.

answers from Richmond on

WELL MY NAME OF COARSE IS OCTAVIA AND I HAVE A 2 YR OLD AND SHE GOES TO THE POTTY SOMETIME WHAT IS EASY FOR ME IS SITTIN ON THE POTTY FIRST THEN SAYIN DO U WANT TO SIT LIKE MOMMY AND BE A BIG GIRL LIKE ME IF SHE SAYS NO THEN THE NEST THING YOU DO IS SAY OKAY GET DOWN TO HER LEVEL AND SAY BIG GIRLS USE THE POTTY AND R YOU A BIG GIRL SHE WOULD SAY YES AND THEN TRY IT AGAIN IF THAT DONT WORK TAKE HER IN THE REST ROOM WITH YOU AND SHOW HER AGAIN DONT REWARD HER UNLESS SHE GOES DON'T PUNISH HER B/C THAT WOULD JUST SCARE HER AN SHE WOULD NEVER GO BUT BE VERY CONSISTANT WITH IT EVERYONE HAS TO OR PUT HER TO THE TEST GIVE HER SOME JUICE AND WAIT ABOUT 20 MINS THEN SAY DO U HAVE TO USE THE REST ROOM AND IF SO TAKE HER AND IF NOT WAIT THIS IS A GOOD PLAN I POTTY TRAINED MY NIECE AT 4 AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN LIVE WITH ME BUT TRY TO TAKE HER TO THE REST ROOM WITH YOU EVERYTIME YOU GO SHE GOES IF SHE GOES MAKE SURE YOU AND EVERYONE THROWS A PARTY HOPES THAT HELPS

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M.B.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

A.,
I would suggest you start over with the potty training. Don't put her in diapers but don't let her walk around with a cup. When she gets a cup, make her go potty 10-15 min. later. Cut off cups about 1 hour before bed time. I would think that it would only take a week or 2 to get her back in to the potty.
Also, have you asked her why she is having the accidents. I know this sounds funny but my little guy (just turned 4) and all of sudden he started getting in the bed with me each night. We did the whole routine thing and would get up and put him back in his bed. After several nights of this I asked "Why do you want to sleep in Mommy's bed?" He told me that their was something scary in his room. Turned out to be a picture of a tree hanging on the wall. I removed the picture and he has slept in his bed since. Good luck.
M.

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C.D.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

First, establish that the "accidents" are just that. Is she trying to go potty, but can't make it? Have you ruled out a physical cause? I went through a similar potty training fiasco with my daughter at that age, but her issue was a battle of will. Having an "accident" was her way of making sure that I had to drop everything and wait on her. She was doing it to get attention. Even if it's intentional, don't berate or belittle the child, but don't coddle either. Just help her make the decision to stop. I stopped letting my daughter sit on the furniture, I stopped letting her wear nice clothes, and if I had to go somewhere I didn't take her with me. Also, she had to help rinse out her soiled clothes. It was harder for me than it was for her, but pretty soon, she decided that it was a lot easier for her to just go to the potty. Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

it could be that your inlaws could be showing the new baby more attention than they are her and she thinks the only way she can get anyones attention is to have an accident.try showing her more attention for a few days or a week and see how that works out.

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J.M.

answers from Richmond on

Hi A.,

I know all too well about the potty training experience. My advice to you would be to give her a little more time to adjust to the move. Sine you are a sahm, it will be easier for you to be with her all the time. I would continue to be consistant with your daughter on the praise, rewards, and sometimes the punnishments, when needed. It might help to put her in her "big girl undies". Let her know that if she chooses to have an accident, she will have to help clean up the mess she made. And if she stays dry she gets something special. Just let her know it's ok to have an accident, but not all the time. Let her know she's a big girl and that big girls stay dry and wear big girl undies. Just keep up the praise and rewards. Once she settles in her new environment, she should come back to her senses.

Another thing you could try is to have a sticker board just for her use. Label it for that day or week.
When shes dry, let her pick out a sticker and put it on the board.It will make her feel independant and good about herself. Once she has the boardfilled, show her how well she did and that should do the trick. I had to do that with my son and it worked. I might use the same for my daughter because it's about time for her to start.

Don't worry about it, just take your time, and everything should follow.

J. M.

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