Potty Training Questions - Grosse Pointe,MI

I started this when my son turned 3, and had to stop for a few moths as he was using it as blackmail (i.e. he would "have" to go when needing to be in a time out or dinner). So We took a break from it and have resently staarted back up again and are doing very well.
Personaly any type of pullups or diaper just did't work. he always peed/pooped in them.
I liked the training pains personally b/c although it didn't "save my couch" it did help to contain a good portion of the mess.
And you should try a reward system for everytime he goes to the potty. M&Ms didn't work for my son but a sticker chart worked really well. I made a chart and had cartoon pictures of little boys sitting on the potty that I got off the internet and he got a sticker for everything that he did even just sitting on the potty. But the poopoo sticker was a special sticker that he only got when he did #2.
Just remember that this will take time, and there will be messes to clean up. There is always a beginning, middle, and end. And the middle is always the hardest. I had to remind myself over and over and over agin that I am in the middle, it will get better. And it has. We are not quite at the end yet though but we are getting there.
I still have to keep on him about if he has to go, but if I forget to and he starts to have an accedent he will now stop & run to the potty to finish. So we are getting there.
Good luck!

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Hi, I just had to write to you. When my now 7 year old was in the middle of potty training, I became a maniac. I tried everything on that poor kid. I would set the alarm for 45 minutes and make him sit on the potty. I would put cheerios in the potty and try target practice. I did everything. I'm surprised I didn't give this poor kid a complex. Still, the week after he turned 3 ( I started this whole thing when he was 2), he really decided he was potty trained on his own. It was seriously like he woke up one morning and decided that was the day. It really had nothing to do with me. I think you are doing all the right things. I recommend the pull-ups, lots of praise when he does the right thing. His little body will know when it's the right time. Now that my youngest (well, soon to be middle child) just turned 2, I'm not nearly as freaked out. Just wanted to let you know you're doing everything right. N. S.l

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My son trained just a couple of weeks before he turned 3. We started on a Tuesday, and by Friday he was having virtually no accidents.

We went right to underwear and just took him to the bathroom every 1 1/2 for pee. He is very regular with his poops...3 times a day after every meal. So that was actually easier to ensure we got him to the potty!

We only use pull ups at night and during nap. And actually, he wakes up from naps dry and most mornings too. We make sure that he goes pee before and right after nap, too.

Also, we always make him go right before we leave the house. He has done great when we're out right from the beginning. Good luck with your training. Be patient and supportive!

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Welcome to the wonderful world of the potty, J.!

Some things that I didn't see others pointing out were:

Girls and boys go to the bathroom at different ages. Girls start at about 2 1/2-3 yrs and boys at about 3-3 1/2 yrs. Those are average ages that I read about in Parents or Parenting magazines. It is something about brain development and when they are physically capable of this new skill.

Going to the bathroom is one thing that our kids have absolute control over. It does not matter how much we want them to do this. On top of them being aware of what their body is doing, they have to choose to follow it and sit on the potty/toilet.

Chin up! You are doing great, Mom! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! You are almost there! It is amazing how a little poop in the toilet can mean so much to us as a "parenting report card." I joked with my mother-in-law that I could only do so much and then it would just be his wife's problem. But, really, we all (or most all) get there before Kindergarten.

And, if their method of going very closely resembles a diaper change then they don't really learn anything. I learned the hard way with my son. He would pee in the toilet because standing and peeing was cool. He would poop in his undies and not tell me. I was not throwing out undies because of a little poop. I soaked/cleaned in the toilet. (Gloves were used) It became clear that even this was too much like a diaper change because I was the one doing everything. So, when he was 2 mos. shy of his 4th birthday, I started having him help clean the undies. He quickly decided that putting the poop into the toilet was way easier. (Within a few days)

Another key was that my husband and I were in agreement about the plan. We had the united front-there was no dividing/conquering to be had. That may have helped to nudge him in the right direction. Daddy took over much of the training after I pointed out that I couldn't stand and pee. My husband really stepped up for this and is still my hero!

My son is almost 8 and my daughter is 5. I've been blessed with kids who can go anywhere-not just home like I've heard about from friends. However, that means that even if we go before we leave home that we also go in a restaurant because they want to check out the bathroom. They could probably write a book on the ones they do or don't recommend. I also rememmber, fondly, when they would sing silly songs (they were in the stall) and entertain all the ladies in the ladies rooms. They have outgrown that. And, Daddy takes our son to the Men's room now. I don't think he sings in there.

I hope this helps to let you know that you aren't the first/last to deal with these things and that you know your child best and can see it through! This too, shall pass. (Pun intended)

D.

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Having potty trained 2 kids we had the best luck with sticking to underwear! Only at bedtime did we use pull-ups, and only until they were fully potty trained during the day did we stop putting on pull ups at bedtime.
We would reming them A LOT to use the potty during the day, and reward them for going, and for even trying. M&M's worked great! Also a lot of praise for a good job. There will be accidents-no matter what. Don't get upset, just remind them that they are big now and need to use the potty like big kids. Especially when they are playing and having fun they will forget to go until it's too late.
No pull ups during the day-they are too much like a diaper and they have no incentive to change anything.
Hope this helped. Hang in there!

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Hi J..

It sounds like he is on track. Keep in mind... he's learned to go pee and poo where ever he is in whatever was on his bottom. He's done this for three years. That's a long habit to unlearn.

First, he needs to relearn his body awareness. It sounds like that is coming since he told you he was going potty! Praise him for that!!! Make a big deal about it when HE recognizes he has to go.

In the meantime, what I would suggest is that you do the timed thing. Start out with taking him potty every 10 minutes... then stretch it out to 20 minutes and so on. Also, notice his liquid intake and how soon after he drinks does he need to pee. Also, many kids (and adults for that matter) are pretty regular in the poo department... meaning there is a particular time of day when it is more likely to occur. Take note and then when it is approaching that time.... pay particular attention to any changes in your son. For example... blank stare, squatting, disappearing (sometimes kids will hide and poo in their dipes), etc... then take him to the potty and see if he has to go poo.

Patience. It is key. As well as being calm and not scolding for accidents.

I am not a huge fan of pull-ups. I do use them for particular occasions ... like when we go to church and our daughter is in her sunday school class. But honestly, kids know they can go in them and they will. Kids would rather keep playing then stop and go to the bathroom.

If you rinse out the undies right away, they won't be ruined. Trust me. We've dealt with MANY accidents. My daughters panties are fine. Sure, it means more laundry ... but honestly, it helps them learn. In the pull ups my daughter never really had that 'wet' feeling. I even tried the ones with the cool alert. Whatever. She either ignored it, or never felt it. However, wet panties... now that she does not like. At all. So, it helped her not want to have accidents because she didn't like that feeling.

Another thing that really was a turning point for us was a good friend of mine blessed me with a couple of gifts. A potty stool and one of those integrated potty seats. So easy to put on your toilet and so worth it! These things allowed my daughter to get up there by herself. We tried the little potty chair ... but eventually she wanted to go like mama on the big potty. Giving her the tools to do something by herself was huge.

Just remember... it's a commitment not only for your son, but for you. You have to help him learn when he has to go. Right now, he isn't paying attention to his body signals... the first step is to get him in tune with those signals...then you can move on to what to do about those signals.

Good luck!

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google "cloth training pants"
There are lots of options. I think they feel it and therefore become more aware of their body's activity when wearing cloth. IMO those disposable pull ups make potty training take longer because they never feel wet to them even the supposed wet ones and then they end up wearing them for several months and that can get expensive. I invested in some good cloth training pants that have an outside layer that does protect your furniture even good enough for overnight without changing the sheets. I don't know the name of my daytime ones but I used "Happy Heiny's" for night time. I tried the ones from the stores and haven't liked them because they leak but there are lots of online stores and some specialty baby shops. They are worth it and I will use them on my next child as well. They are not hard to clean either.

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I was talking to a friend about potty training my grandaughter. She told me what she did, and it took 1 day. She told her friends and husband not to call on the day she decided to do the training. She had a doll that you use to pee in the potty, also she bought salty snacks and juices to feed the child. She statred with the child and doll-teaching the doll how to potty in the toilet. Rewarded the "doll"-m$m or whatever. Of course the child got the reward. Then started doing it with the child. Feeding the salty snacks and drinks. She said it usually took i day.

S.

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He's a little young to be trained - for a boy - but some are ready. Whatever you do, don't make it a power struggle or you'll have a longer process on your hands. He needs to feel in control of this. Sounds like he's beginning but it's going to take awhile. I always used training pants but that was before pull-ups were invented. I'd let him call the shots, act like you don't care that much, and relax. Sounds like you have a good start but he's not quite ready to do this fully. Some boys are 4 or nearly so before they totally get this.

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J.
what i did when i did the potty training was to go at full force no diapers or pull up straight under wear and it worked well for all 5 of mine i would set the kitchen stove timer for every 30 and when that went off we tryed to potty we might sit there for 5 min and if we went we make a big deal if not we said good try maybe next time .them before we left the house we would go potty and when we got to weher we are going we go potty after a little while we had it just keep a zip lock baggie with a change of shorts and underwear in them in your car or purse but he will get it to me pull up or diapers back and forth are just to hard for them to get good luck

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Hi J.,

Congrats on starting this journey. It requires time and patience, more than anything on your part and your child's. My son is 4 now and potty trained except he doesn't yet quite wipe himself after #2 as well as I'd like him too. We are always working on it to make sure he masters it and sometimes he gets annoyed at me for my persistence on perfection when it comes to this part of the potty training process, but he has done very well. The methods I used were all three--diaper, Pull-Ups and underwear depending on what we were doing that day. Pull-Ups are nothing more than pull up diapers. The thing that the child learns is that it pull ups like underwear, but yet for the parent, you clean it like a diaper and dispose of it should an accident happen. To me, it's a matter of convenience. In the long run, pull-ups save you from not constantly having to replace underwear. Not many people go the route I did with potty training, but it worked for us. I didn't want to clean many messes and spend tons of money on replacing underwear. Now, my son only wears underwear and hasn't had an accident in about 6 months. For the most part, boys train best at 3-1/2 years of age--which is exactly when my son "got it" with the potty training. He never showed any resentment about being potty trained either and actually, he's enjoyed doing it himself because it makes him feel like a big boy. Always praise the child too even when they have learned. We went to IKEA and had him pick out his own potty chair and he got to decorate it with stickers of his choice. This really helped him with potty training immensely--giving him control of the situation.

Hope this helps:)

M.

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It sounds that , from your son's perspective, he thinks that going potty is peeing/pooping, instead of going in/on the toilet. So many people use the word potty interchangeable with just going that it may confuse him, like "did you go potty in your pants?" Make sure that he understands exactly the 'procedure' you expect from him, and what will happen if he does that, like a reward. the reward could be wearing big boy underwear, or whatever you choose, like one M&M everytime he goes on the toilet, or just enormous amounts of praise. And like the other's have said, be as patient as you possibly can, and then be patient some more. It will happen!

You could try putting froot loops or cheerios in the toilet and telling him to aim for them, or you can throw in glitter after he goes. I haven't tackled this personally yet, but these things worked great at the daycare I worked at. Also, I dont know if he has any slightly older cousins or friends, but when the little boys saw the 'big' boys using the potty (the bathroom there had 2 kids potties) it made them much more eager to try.

Hi! I am new to the potty training thing. but let me tell you this.. I tried for 1 yr (on and off..strick and not so) to get my son to go potty..Well, one day he got it. I wasn't even trying anymore he just decided he was ready to wear the big boy underwear that we bought for him..he is doing well. we are 2 months into it and he has had 2 accidents (from being lazy..nothing else..playing and not wanting to go) he has been dry at night since day one. but I wont say that out loud bc everytime I do I put my foot in my mouth..lol...just let him lead. trust me I found out the hard way.. HE WILL GET IT!!

There's a great video called "once upon a potty"

it was the only thing that helped with my daughter... they are available for either sex and are wonderful

Hope this helps :)