Potty Training Issues with 4 Year Old

Updated on September 28, 2006
L.B. asks from Tucson, AZ
11 answers

My son is 4 1/2 yrs old and still wears pull-ups at night and at nap time. During waking hours he uses the potty every time with no problems since he was 3 yrs old. The problem is that he tells me he thinks it's ok to pee in his bed at home (even though I explain to him that he needs to use the potty) but when he's at a sitter's house or daycare he doesn't wear the pull-up and does not have accidents. So I am left to believe that he is making the decision to wet his bed on purpose. And the most aggravating part of it is that even with the diaper on the bed gets soaked. So not only am I putting out money on these really expensive big-boy diapers, but I'm changing sheets twice a day! Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I should handle this or should I wait and see if he outgrows it?

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T.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi L.! My aunt was having the same issues with her 4 year old and she sat him down and told him that he can choose to wear a pull up to bed or not but if he pees in the bed he has to do his own laundry. The first night he wet his bed and she taught him how to do laundry the next day. Ever since then he has not wet his bed at all. Just try to give him the responsibility of cleaning it up instead of you. I hope that works for you.

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H.J.

answers from Denver on

I know bribing isnt a healthy thing to do.. but we all have done it.. and My 4 yr son was the hardest to potty train... he was fully potty trained 2weeks before his 4th birhtday after a yr of effort....
I finally bribed the kid..LOL We dont eat a lot of junk food so it is always a big treat for them if they something with sugar in it.
So we were at walmart and my son wanted a bag of Cheeto's. I let him put them in the cart with out saying anything.. we got home and thats when I set the rules on the cheetos'
He could have a handfull of them if he used the potty w/o me begging him to.. all on his own like a big boy... and guess what... once we got through the bag of cheetos he was potty trained.. no if ands or buts (no punn intended..LOL)

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T.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Since your son seems to be making a choice to wet the bed, and you know that he is capable of staying dry, I think you should get rid of the pull-ups and have him help with the laundry and bed-making each time. Plus, the pull-ups don't seem to hold it all in anyway, so why waste money? I would remind him each time before bedtime that you know he is old enough to make good choices about going to the bathroom, and that it is not ok to choose to go potty in the bed. Also make sure that going to the bathroom is part of your bedtime routine if it already isn't. Maybe try a reward system with a sticker on a chart after each succesful bedtime, and when the chart is filled he can turn it in for a prize. It might be hard at first, but I think he will probably get just tired as changing the sheets as you do. Also, hopefully a goal and positive reinforcement will help motivate him.

Good Luck!

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R.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

I really do not have suggestions but wanted to say that I am SO thankful that I am not the only one with this issue. My daughter will be 4 in January and she will NOT allow me to put her down to sleep without a diaper. And she will not allow me to lay her down at night without her cup. She too is fine without the diaper all day. My nephew is 4 months younger than her and he does not have a cup or diapers at all. I thought I was the only one facing this! Whew! Good info and comments! Thanks everyone! :o)

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M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

He's 4 1/2? Get rid of those pull-ups!! If it is getting the bed all wet, there is definitely no reason to be buying those diapers.

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L.S.

answers from Tucson on

my son went through that for awhile. he wet the bed until he was 7! i tried everything, went to two different ped's and they all said he was probably a very heavy sleeper and if it went on to 8 or 9 yrs they would get a bed alarm for him. thankfully he just outgrew it. we did not give him anything to drink after 6:00 pm and made sure that he really used the restroom before bed, but that was when he was older. 4 1/2 is still pretty little, i bet your child will outgrow it. try goodnites they may protect better than pull-ups. also, i was always told to not get upset with them when it happens becuase it is not there fault to control there actions when they are asleep. :)

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C.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

You have some very wonderful suggestions on this. I feel for you verty deeply. My 7 year still as accedents at night. We use the goodnights. She refers to them as Big girl nighttime panties. She never intennly wets the bed at night, but she as a blatter that is half the normal size of children her age, it runs in our family. Also she is a very heavy sleeper so she doesnt always wake up. You could try talking to your doctor and see if this the case at hand.
Good luck
Peace and Love
C.

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L.K.

answers from Phoenix on

L.,

I have a 5 1/2 yr old son, who just started kindergarten. He still uses a diaper at night. I choose not to use pull ups because they are not as absorbent as diapers. My son does fine during the day and goes to the bathroom independently. At night, before bed, we have him go to the bathroom before putting his diaper on, he still wakes up with a "big pee diaper." Also, he will have a hard time going to sleep if he has to make a bowel movement, so he gets out of bed a few times until he realizes that he has to go and he takes off his diaper to go on the toilet. A few times at night, he has soaked through the bed, so I went to BABIES R US and bought the bed liners that are rubberized which I put over his mattress pad under his bottom sheet. They work great!!!

I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Kids will out grow it in their own time. If it becomes an issue as he does get older (2nd grade and over), then I would discuss it with your pediatrician - they have medication that is used to help with kids who wet the bed.

I just recently switched from Pampers Premium to Huggies overnights and they work great. Again, I still use diapers at night vs pull-ups due to their better absorbancy.

L. Kandell, MS, RD, IBCLC
Registered Dietitian/Pediatric Specialist
International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
AFFILIATED NUTRITION CONSULTANTS, LLC
Scottsdale, AZ 85258
###-###-####

Mother of two, 8 yr old daughter, 5 1/2 yr old son.

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F.W.

answers from Albuquerque on

I have a friend who had teh same problem and she waited to see if he would grow out of it and she has a 8 year old that still to this day pee s the bed. it is so frustrating for her because she knows he knows better. But i also suggested her to take him to a doctor too because sometimes bed wetting can stem from other things like a small bladder and things like that. Good luck and know that habits that are formed now in life tend to stick with you for awhile. F.

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C.B.

answers from Grand Junction on

L.,
I think that some times with our little ones we just have to make the switch even if it seems kind of mean. Take away the pull ups, tell him that he is a big boy now and doesn't need diapers anymore. You can make it fun (like a game) or you can have him throw the remainder into the trash (so that he is involved and has some control.) My little one didn't potty train at all until she was almost 4. This worked for us. Hope it helps!
C.

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T.Z.

answers from Phoenix on

I have a 5 and 6 year old with a similar situation. Start by giving him part of the clean up work. Take off the sheets and put them in the wash. Or wipe down the mattress pad and help put on the new sheet. Once he has to do the work, he may stop.

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