Potty Training Help! - East Hartford,CT

She's only 2. She's probably not ready! You can't force it - it's like sleeping and eating, totally under the child's control. Let it go for now. If it becomes a battleground, you'll be on opposite sides when she IS ready. I promise you that she will not go to kindergarten in pull-ups. My son was past 4 before he was reliably trained. When I gave up, he did it in his own time.

Relax and give both of you a break. There is no rule that she has to be trained in a certain time frame. If she's not ready don't stress, it's makes it harder on both of you. Stop and then try again in a few months. I have 3 kids and they all trained differently. My oldest dtr was 3 1/2 for #1 and almost 4 for #2 and took another year for night training. My second dtr was 2 1/2 for #2, 3 for #1 and for night training. My youngest son is 4 he was 3 for #1 and #2 (about 2 mo apart) but still is not night trained. I learned with the first to let them guide you about readiness, I only showed them they way, but was consistent and firm once they knew how to control their body but got "busy" and went in their pants. There are even some preschools now that will let kids in not potty trained, as long as mom is available to come to change if there is an accident. Good Luck!

My daughter was 3.5 before she was fully potty trained. We started potty training at 2.5. We moved into a house without carpets during the potty training and I would just put big girl undies on her and let her run around the house in them. She had a couple of accidents. She only pooped in her undies once.

Hi L. :)

It sounds like a lot of the responses you got were to just kind of chill for a while longer and don't push the issue with your daughter. Take a rest/break from trying to train her. I totally agree.
My son just turned three and everyone kept trying to tell us he was for sure ready at around two or not long after (although our dr says "OH...I always tell people to not even TRY to train boys until at least 3...they'll go back and forth and then you'll just be frustrated and feel like you are training them for forever!") Well,...we tried anyway and he got all excited and seemed like he was totally ready. He did great for about two weeks and then wanted nothing to do with the potty around momma and daddy after that. ???? It was a little frustrating because he seemed so ready then and when we were at grandma's house he still wanted to go for her. I read part of SuperNanny's book and she was saying if a child is ready, they are ready. That's it - none of this training for 6 months or longer or "training" in pullups, which kids a lot of times think of as just a different type of diaper. If they are truly ready and you are too - put them in regular undies and decide this will happen. So, I made up my mind this obviously was not the right time - he just wasn't ready yet. He would scream and almost cry and throw a fit that he didn't want to go on the potty - so why in the world should I force him and make it such a battle (that he would win anyway). So I made sure he stayed in diapers quite a bit longer - even at grandma's house so it wouldn't be so confusing. (We also were expecting another, so I knew I wanted to wait until all the turmoil and chaos with a new baby was out of the way too)
But when I felt he was finally ready, I had to know I was ready too. I was going to take another shot at it and I thought this time I will for sure do things a little different. Make sure you stay home for a couple of days and every 20 min, or half hour, or hour - whatever works best for you or her...make her go. That's what I did. And from the get-go I put him in cloth undies. I had the Gerber cotton training pants. He did great. (I tried to not go anywhere for about a week so he could just not wear pants to make it easier for him) We also had both kinds of potty seats - a little one, his size, and one that you can put on the regular toilet. I made him start going on the little one, that way if he needed to go he could start doing that by himself without my help, or not so much of it. (he wouldn't need my help climbing up to get on the big potty if I just made him use the little one) He's maybe had two accidents - if that - since I've done that - maybe 4 months ago. I think that's just because he couldn't get his pants down in enough time. And then if I had to go out, for several months - I brought the little potty in the car with us(on the floor) wherever we went and made him go before we went into a store or dr's or wherever and then again before we got back into the carseat. MUCH easier than trying to go into a public bathroom at that point in the game - at least my opinion!! Now, he's great at telling me and holding it and we can go into a restroom and not have it be a great ordeal or worry as much about sanitary stuff - I know I have time to do what I need to do to "get things ready". :)
We do use a diaper at nap and at bedtime though, because I know he's not ready for that change yet. He's doing great and there are many mornings he doesn't have any pee in his diaper at all, but I know it's too soon. The days that he does have pee in his diaper I know he doesn't even have a clue he's peed in the middle of the night, so there's no way he's ready to try to wake up to go.
I do have to say though that right now, that's just peeing. He is a super pee-er!!!! :) Poopin', well...that's a different story...He was going in the potty to poop too, but then all of a sudden he started to not want to go in the potty. Out of the blue - nothing happened - he just all of a sudden decided he HAD to have a diaper to go poop. It was starting to be the same routine as before - he started throwing a fit and screaming he didn't want to go in the potty and I would try to make him. But finally, I just gave up. I realized when the time is right for the pooping...the time will be right. I can't force it, even though it would make life a little easier (and our trash less stinky!!) He'll do that when he's ready too. Just like when he was finally ready to pee on the potty - it was a breeze, SO easy... At his last dr visit they were asking how it was going and I told them and they said that it's all completely normal and it sometimes happens - pooping usually takes longer. If they're not ready, just put a diaper on them and let them go so they won't make themselves constipated or give themselves other issues because they hold it in and won't go. They'll come around eventually to trying on the potty.

In reading things on this site someone once wrote about pottytraining a different time as well and one response said something like - they all get trained. Some take longer than others, but they all get trained. When you send them off to school - they all will have underwear on and not diapers - so don't worry and don't push the issue. It all happens when it's supposed to. After reading that, I was a lot more relaxed about the whole process. It doesn't bother me when people think he should be trained by now or should have been a long time ago. I know he's going at his own pace and that's all that I can go at too. They'll either go at their own pace or have accidents all the time if you don't follow their lead.
So, that's my VERY long story and advice to you. :) Maybe now is just not the right time for your daughter, she's just not really ready. She's close, but not yet. Give her a little longer and try again. I recommend when the time is right to try again, try cotton undies and not pullups, but that's just me.
I wish you the best. :) Everything is a work in progress and learn as you go with kids. You should see us - we are REALLY a work in progress!!!! No doubt about it!!! :) All those thoughts or looks you used to give parents before you had kids...yeah,...HA!!! Makes you just want to laugh now, doesn't it??!!!

Hi there,

Get rid of the Pull Ups. I think those are the worst thing for when you are trying to potty train a little one. Part of what makes peeing in your pants so unpleasant is it feels yucky. Ones that get cold are not the same thing as having wet undies and pants that smell like wee. There is also the 'embarassment' factor but if she is home with you, that would most likely be a bit less.

Yes its more laundry for a bit and its pain but I found it to be a much more effective way. Take her out to buy her first pairs of 'big girl undies' and make it a bit of an event that they are hers and how nice it is that she can have big girl undies. Expect accidents and, like I said before, more laundry for a bit.

Good Luck
M.

Oh yes the frustrations of potty training. Every kid is different. Your daughter is still young yet. If she's not showing any interest now then don't push it. She'll catch on eventually.

Good luck.

I found the easiest way to potty train was to not have them wear anything at all. That way they can see and understand what happens when they go. They quickly get uncomfortable with the mess and choose the potty. It is summer, so pretty easy to do this now. Pull ups are easy for you but they do not help train kids. Also, dont get too anxious. All kids use the toilet eventually.

L.,

RELAX! That is the first thing! She'll be trained by the time she goes to college. LOL

Anyway, 2 is the summer to train.

Stay outside in the heat and have her wear little girl panties not pull ups. She has to see and feel the effects of peeing her panties to understand why she can't just change the pull ups, that's expensive! Washing undies costs less buy about 12-24 pair or training pants if they still make them so you can wash them and have them ready for the next day of trying. You'll be outside so no clean up of the carpets and when you come in you tell her she has to wear a diaper because she is still not using the potty and see if she changes her mind about not using it.

Try keeping the potty chair in the kitchen and use the other in the bathroom thus giving her only one choice in the bathroom or she can run out to the kitchen and use that one.

A friend of mine is pregnant due Aug 26th with her second and her daughter is going to be 3 in September and she is still not trained either! It will happen when she is ready, these are just some ideas from an old lady that has done it this way and it worked for us.

R. H

Hi L.! I have two girls one is 13 and one is 6. I had an easier time potty training my oldest than my youngest. My youngest what I did was have the singing potty when ever she went, plus it came with a sticker chart. Every time she would go, she would get a sticker on the chart and she filled the chart we would buy her a $5 movie. It is incentives that children love or even a praise. We would also show her the big girl panties the different ones she could have. One thing we never did was scold her or get mad at her for not going. We just said we can try a little later. She would come into the bathroom while mommy was going and see that it wasn't so bad. Good luck!

Hi L.,

It sounds like she needs a little break, since she is not showing interest.

Then when you see she could retry this, try only putting her on her little potty, and introducing her to one thing.

Be consistant with putting her on the potty every 2 hrs.

I am a single mom of a 5 yr old girl, she had no interest either til she was almost three, then she was going to nursery school and had to be potty trained. I just set my mind to it and stuck to my guns, had her help me pick out the new underwear, and had her going about every two hours.

I hope this help.

J.

I read Pull-Ups are like diapers and to avoid them since they won't get the sensation of being wet and soiled. Better to go outside in nice weather and let them go bottomless.

hi, L.

i'm experiencing the same problem with my 2.6 years old daughter. it seems that she doesn't really understand when she wants to poop. we tried taking of her diapers, leaving her with her pants only, but she started not peing nor pooping. the doctor said this is very dangerous and that we should not worry until she is 3 years old. we also changed the diapers to the pull ups and we always ask her if she would like to go to the toillet. but it's beeing a very hard process.

ok. this is what i did with my 2 oldest, and i worked! especially since its summer time, it might be easier. if she knows she can get away with peeing in her pull-up, then she will do it. leave her naked. start by putting her on the potty (which ever one you decide to use) every 15 minutes. it makes more work for you, but i felt it really worked. if shes naked, maybe she will know that she cant be going on the floor. and if she does go, just tell her that its not ok, and have her help you clean it up. with my daughter, i just used the big potty with the seat, but with my son, i got a seperate seat and even put it in the living room. he would watch his shows and just sit on the potty. and before we knew it, he was even pooping all by himself too! he turned 2 on december 19, and by january 20, he decided all by himself that it was time. i was amazed! i didnt expect him to do it for a long time. he went 5 months without an accident (except at night) and decided he would just go in his pants again. he is back on track now and we are working on the at night thing!! good luck!

Hi,
My daughter has been potty trained since she was 2 and it was hard at first...mostly I think because we were putting so much pressure on her. She was doing really well and then lost interest. So we stopped trying to get her to go, once summer came we let her run around the house naked alot...only 2 accidents and then she decided it was time to use the potty cause she felt horrible when she went on the floor. Letting her run around naken worked for us, it could work for you too. We also used a potty chart and she got a sticker for going and then we made up a happy potty dance that we did every time she used it.
Best of luck.

Hi, I have potty trained my own children and several others, I have a background in childcare and I have to tell you, you can train yourself to get the child to go, but they will decide in the end when they are ready. And I know it can be frustrating. If you let her use the small potty and sit on the big toilet at the same, I find that repetition will teach her best, most kids are not fully potty trained until they are 3 and remember every child is different. Good luck

Hi L. -

Personally, and I know folks will disagree with me here but I'll say it anyway - she's only two, what's the rush? When she's ready to potty train, she will do it. Why drive yourself mad? It's not worth it.

Let her do it at her own pace. When she is truly ready instead of being forced into it, she will train very quickly. My pedi said to me "Your sons won't go to Kindergarten wearing diapers, so don't worry about it. When your child is ready, they'll do it."

Unless you plan to put her into a facility that requires training by age 3, I say, let her be two and don't rush it. It always seems like everyone tries to rush through their children's childhood, let your kids be kids - the time goes by so fast as it is.

Good luck to you and keep us posted!!

Hi L.,

I am in the same boat as you, except my daughter is 3 1/2 and has NO interest in using the potty right now. She has used it several times over the last 6 months, for both #1 and #2, but lately has no interest. I have spoken to her doctor about it, and she is totally not concerned. She keeps saying that she will do it when she is ready. BUT MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SOOOO READY! I also have a 10 month old boy in diapers so I'm ready for my 3 year old to be done with diapers already!!!! I have heard that the 3 Day Potty Traning Book (I'm not sure of the author)is pretty good so I am planning to go out and get it sometime this week. Unfortunately, the heat has been keeping us in the house this past couple of days. Anyway, if I have any luck with the book...I'll let you know. Good luck on your end as well!

J. M.

Please get rid of the pull-ups! They are not helping your daughter at all! I trained my son when he was 2.9 (and completely resistant) in a few days by putting him right into underwear. Stay home while you're doing it if you can for a few days. Set the timer for every hour and take her to the bathroom. We used pull-ups over underwear for naps and in the car in the very beginning and diapers at night. Yes, it's a lot of laundry, but it's so worth it!
Good luck!

I would agree with all the advice that she will train when she is ready. My (now 4 year old) daughter didn't start training until well after 3, and it was a long process. At the beginning there were frequent accidents. I used a sticker chart, because she was into stickers; no reward at the end, just the pride of seeing the paper fill up. It wasn't always an incentive for her. I also agree with not using the pull-ups. We switched to the thick training pants and plastic covers (to help keep the accidents contained). She still wore pull-ups during nap and diapers at night; when she knew a pull-up was coming, she would refuse to use the potty, but would go almost as soon as the pull-up was on; it definitely hindered the process (she was still sleeping at naptime, which is why I used them). In fact, she still wears a diaper at night now and will still refuse to use the potty once her diaper is on.

In any case, have patience. There will be progress and backsliding, but it will happen. Make a big deal about the successes and let the disinterest go.

Good luck!

K.

Hi L.,

This one goes under the heading of "you can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can't make her go!" Anyway here is a true, amazing story that may help. The little girl I care for (who is now 2 years and 9 months) started using the potty when she was two. She was showing all the signs that she was ready. We never pressured her- just asked her if she wanted to use the potty at bath time, for instance. She had several successes,and was so proud of herself. Then she suddenly lost interest.When we asked her if she wanted to use the potty, she would say- "I already did ", or "When I get bigger", or just plain "No".Her Mom and Dad were a little frustrated, but I encouraged them to be patient for a little longer and not push too hard. Well last week S.started to use the potty to pee and poop almost 100% of the time. She literally woke up one day two weeks ago, and announced "When I was a baby I peed and pooed in my diaper, but I'm big now and I pee and poo in the potty." And she does ! Each child is so unique,and has a slightly different way and timing regarding mastering the whole potty thing. So try to be patient and trust your daughter and soon enough, she will wake up one day, and as if by magic,be a potty user ! L.