Potty Training for Almost 3 Year Old

My daughter's potty training problems were caused by her sensory integration disorder, so that's the fist thing I always suspect.

If it's inability to relax the sphincter muscles I'd suggest holding a warm wash cloth against her vulva to help her relax. If she pees on it it wouldn't be a big deal. Running water may help, as well as putting her hands in warm water (yep, that old slumber party trick really works!).

But above all, I'd be in contact with her MD about this. And I wouldn't wait longer than tomorrow if he/she doesn't already know about the problem.

I tried everything with my son. Nothing worked so I kept him in pullups and let him come into the bathroom with me when I went. After awhile he started trying on his own. He didn't always make it in time so I would run him a bath and when he had to pee I put him on the toilet. He finally got it at 3 1/2. Sometimes you just have to wait untill they are ready.

My daughter was the same way and just needed to figure out how to go. Once she went one time, she was good to go. We would put her feet in a small tupperware of really warm water. It relaxes her and she can't stop herself from going.

When my daughter was potty training I would sit on the back of the toilet while she sat on the front between my legs. She felt more comfortable this way and it was fun for her as well. She went when mommy went and it didn't take long and she was going on her own. Good luck

My suggestion would be to let the water in the sink trickle a little and/or drop a little warm water on her thigh and she may not be able to control it and will have to urinate. I think once she has done it a time or two and realizes that it is what you want her to do, she will be just fine.

Have you tried running the bathtub water while she sits there? I know it sounds silly, but I have four and it worked for 2 of them.

For girls it is important to relax to pee, not to force or hurry it because that can lead to incontinence later. THe advice to try running water, music, reading - anything to get her to relax is good. There are a number of kids books about using the potty. We had some that were specific to girls and boys that talked about how fun it was to use the potty and how grown up. Have you tried talking to your daughter in a relaxed non threatening way, maybe while snuggled after reading story? Try keeping it general, why does she think some kids don't want to use the potty? Does she have concerns about where the pee goes? Or that she is losing something? Not peeing can lead to bladder infection and of course it can't be held back forever. I knew someone who had a child with a similar problem with bowel movements, it turned out to be an issue of possession - they saw it as 'theirs' and didn't want to let go. Waving bye-bye helped in that case. No doubt she will get past this, try to keep a sense of humor!

turn on the water when she is on the pot that will help relax her to go potty and it will not hurts when she goes.

I would back off on the worrying about the peeing and stuff. I focussed only the machanics with my second one and it was so much easier. We focussed on the pulling up and down the pants, sitting, timing...every 30 minutes, going before sitting at the table, getting in the car, and going to bed, etc., wash hands, and all that. make that a routine and the rest should follow.

I am also in the same boat however my child is almost 4. My doctor says you cannot force the issue and that they will let you know when they are ready. I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing seems to work. I'm not sure how good that advice is but I'm giving it a try. Good luck!

Are you using a potty chair? If you are sitting her on the toilet she might be afrqaid of falling in , put a stool for her to put her feet on for balance . Also I know for boys what works is putting cheerios in the toilet and they aim at them , well who is to say that little girls could also try something like this . Adapt this idea for her .

I know that this might sound strange, but trying reading to her or singing a song while she is one the potty. I have also found that running the faucet while they are sitting there helps get the potty running---have you ever tried it with yourself when you really have to go). Are you trying to use the big potty without anything on top of it? Sometimes the fear of falling in will prevent them from going? We use a little seat that fits right into the big one and is padded too (plus it has Dora on it) for our 3 1/2 yr old, or you could try using the free standing little potties. Good luck.
J. SAHM (facing the training with my 3 1/2 yr old DD too).
J.

My advice would be not to push it and let it happen when she's ready. It seems to go best, when it finally just "clicks" and they "get it." My daughter turned 3 on May 3, and even though she has been going in the potty since before she was 2, she didn't mind sitting in her own mess. She could go in the potty every time you asked her to, but she didn't think of it on her own and would still go in her diaper. We got to the point, where she would only get a treat (skittle, small candy, sticker) if she kept her diaper dry in between going on the potty...it didn't work. She finally was trying to go on the potty and had waited too long, so she peed all over the floor in the bathroom and I think she was so embarrassed, it just clicked. She's been going on the potty ever since and somehow stays dry at naptime and all night long (she has a small potty in her room and can go on it when ever she feels the need to). I have friends who have turned it into a struggle and it is not fun--b/c it's one of the things that they can control and they know it (same with eating/food issues). I also have another friend whose daughter potty trained herself a month before she turned 3, then 4 months later kept having accidents. The doctor said that this can happen within the first year, after they are potty trained, b/c they wait too long (b/c they're too busy playing) and then they have accidents. So just know your child will do it when she is ready and just try to be patient. Not sure about the holding it for so long, until she hurts part. Will she go poo in the potty? That might have something to do with it? There are lots of videos at the library to check out...Elmo has one, Bear in the Big Blue House, the one with the red cover (I think the girl's name is Prudence!)...you can also try letting her roam the house with nothing on, or be outside in your backyard. When my daughter was still learning, she had a hard time distinguishing panties from a pull up or diaper, b/c something was there. Another idea is to put panties on and then a pull up or diaper--then they feel the wetness, but it doesn't go everywhere if they do go in their pants. Know we've all been there and had our own struggles with this, but they all get it eventually!

GOOD LUCK!
A.

Try pouring a cup of warm water between her legs while she is sitting on the potty. It will give her the idea of what it would feel/sound like to pee on the potty and may help to relax her.

Hi G.,

My son was a challenge to potty train. We have a few tricks.
1st- We use a "potty toy". This is a little toy that he can ONLY play with while he is on the potty. We also have a few potty books special for the potty. He is so relaxed playing with his toy that he goes. He doesn't even think about it. And it makes the potty less scary.
2nd- After he goes then we do the potty dance.
3rd- He LOVES gummy bears. One gummy bear for a pee and 2 gummy bears for poop.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

Dear G. S. When my children were little I always turned on a tap of watter and that sound helped them go.
I hope this helps. C. J.

Spend the entire day in the bathroom with her, and bring lots of drinks, snacks, toys books. A bladder can only hold so much before it will have to empty. And when she starts to have that accident, you will be there in the bathroom right near the toilet ready to put her on.

Hmm...well the warm water trick might work? I noticed with my son that the second we put him in the bathtub he would pee because of the warm water. So when we started potty training him, I would put him on his little potty and then pour a cup of warm water slowly on his privates....He would always pee and I would say "good job _______! You did it!" He was so proud of himself and he could recognize the feeling of when he was supposed to go peepee... We did this a few days and then he was fine just peeing on his own..

G.,
Maybe she's just not ready. I know they say girls are sooner than boys but it just doesn't seem she is ready and it has become a little bit of a battle of wills. Put a pull up back on her and don't mention it for a couple of months. Maybe she'll decide, when she is ready and on her own terms. We did various things and some worked but ultimately, it was my son saying he was ready.

Let it go and see what happens. It seems she has control over her bladder so she probably does know when to go but its something she can and is controlling. DOn't care about it and then maybe she'll want to.
Good Luck
L.

I gave my children candy while on the potty. This may make her mind focus on the candy rather than holding her bladder. Another thing is that a sucker might get her to relax long enough to use the toilet.

Hi G.,
I agree with the other responses about the water running. I might also suggest helping to distract your daughter from the task at hand. When my little boy was working on potty training, I would take him into the bathroom every few hours just to help him "check" if he needed to go pee. Often he didn't want to stay too long and wanted to return to whatever he was doing. So once he got into position, he would always start chattering and squirming. Then I would say, "Shh, listen. Do you hear that?" He would get so focused on listening for something that he would surprise himself when he heard the sound of his pee hitting the water. Good luck and I hope this might help just a little.

I haven't read any of the other responses so forgive me if this has already been said.

I used the potty attachment for the "big" toilet. Our daughter loved that. You get them at Target it fits right onto the toilet...used a stool for her to climb up on and she loved it.

We didn't use any candy, stickers or any of that. We did high fives. Each time she went potty she got a high five and if she went #2 she got a high ten.

Your little girl sounds like me when I was a little girl. My mom always got on my case about going potty more often. I didn't want to bother with going to the potty because I would rather play, etc. I would suggest you take her to the potty every couple of hours. Make it fun. Read a book to her as she sits so she can relax. There's a book called "Everybody Poops." Sing a song. "I'm a super duper pooper. I can potty with the best. No more diapers to get in my way. I bet you are impressed. I'm a super duper pooper. I know when I have to go. Take a bow I'm a big kid now. I'm the best pooper you know." Also, let her know if she holds it in too long she could make herself sick --- bladder infection, etc.

Get the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Nathan H. Azrin and Richard M. Foxx. My sister and I both swear by it (successfully training 7 children between the two of us). It's a great book full of great ideas, and it really can be done in less than a day. Good luck.

R.