Potty Training - San Jose,CA

for my daughter, we worked on toilet training in the summer when we were home for a long stretch.

I put her in panties and had her play outside all morning. I brought the potty chair outside to make it easier. I didn't care if she ended up peeing on the grass, but I did care about my carpet.

I set a timer to announce Go to the Potty time. When it rang, it was sit on potty time. If she sat on the potty, she could put her feet in the pool for. If she peed, she could go in the pool. She loved the pool, so she wanted to go to pee. I filled her with tons of fluid. Yes, I even gave her juice, so she would take in a ton, and I set out a bowl of pretzels for snack, which were salty. I set her up to have to pee.

She learned very quickly and when she went back to daycare, they continued to schedule potty times, which set her up for success.

Pull ups brand training pants may contain chemicals or dyes that are causing the rash. If it is important to you that he wear training pants, 7th Generation makes a good disposable alternative that is chlorine and dye free. I mostly use cloth lined vinyl training pants for my son, who will also be 3 in august. ( I got them here: http://www.babybestbuy.com/assorted-dappi-vinyl-training-...)

And I totally hear you, it's tough! Sometimes he's fine with it, but half the time my son screams and runs away when I try get him to pee on the potty ;) Good luck!

Hi E.,
I read this article recently in potty training in 3 days. http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-in-three-days-... I haven't tried it since my daughter is in daycare, but it might work for you. Good luck!

Have him go naked from the waist down, and tell him in your best no-nonsense voice that he is a big boy now, and big boys make all their potty in the toilet! Then watch him like a hawk and make sure he gets to the potty in time. He will probably have some accidents at first. Don't make a big deal out of it, just tell him, "Next time you'll make it to the potty." (And be sure he makes it!)

It took me about 3 days or so to potty train my kids this way, although they were a bit younger (so, possibly easier) when we started.

I think the trick to remember is, YOU are in charge of this process. This is a life skill that you are teaching him, and it should not be anything more than that. Treat this like you did when you taught him to use a spoon, or when you taught him that he can't run into a parking lot by himself. Same idea - it's not some big, monumental thing, it's just a life skill that has to be explained, taught, and then expected each and every time. It was my experience that potty training is not about when kids are ready, it's about when parents are ready! =) They'll do what you expect, if you truly do expect it of them. Good luck!

First off, you should not even be concerned about what 'people' are saying!!! People need to mind their own business and keep their mouths shut!!
Now, onto the potty training; my son turned 3 in March and he is not potty trained. When we are at home, I let him run around naked from the waist down and he will use the potty when he needs to go. He is in preschool in the morning and his teacher has told me that he has also used the potty at school. My theory is that he will let me know when he is completely ready. He has the idea. He does great with the Pull Ups and the next thing I'm going to try are the thicker cotton under from Gerber along with the plastic pants.
I know you will get alot of advice from the moms on here but you have to remember that every child is different and you can't force it. Take the cues from him. Our son started showing signs that he was interested when he would go into the bathroom and lift up the toilet seat and just stand there. So, be patient and let him let you know when he is ready! Good luck!!
And, again, please do not allow people to make you feel like you are a bad mom!

E.,

First of all, it's absolutely nobody's business when you potty train your kids. I trained my son at age 3½ and it was like clockwork. It's easy at this age as they actually start to understand what they're doing and why, vs. training like a dog to go on cue. So, don't worry about what anyone else says.

When you start training your son you won't need pullups, just underwear. So no worries here.

Find a time when he'll be home with you for at least 7-10 days, then get him a potty. Tell him he has to go in there when he needs. Then, put a big calendar on the wall reflecting the dates of this training period and start giving him points for each time he goes in the potty. We let him put stickers of his favorite things (knights, pirates, Dora, whatever...) He'll make mistakes at first, and that's OK, just be sure to bring a change of clothing if you go anywhere, and your diaper bag with wipes, etc. for cleaning up.

There's no need to make him suffer in wet pants, what's the point. He'll be unhappy enough to just be wet. If he's soiled himself, try to make him responsible for "cleaning up" (we made ours take off his pants while standing in the bathtub, for example). After he soils himself several times, and it feels yucky, he'll start to understand. But, don't punish him for mistakes as he'll make these at first. Just reward him for his good job when he goes in the potty.

And, if you have to wait until his 3½ to start don't worry. The later you wait, the easier it will be!

do you live where he would be able to pee outside? my son just loved the idea of getting to pee outside and at 12 he still loves to run outside and pee on the lawn. it really helped in getting him to recognize his bodys signals that he had to pee. once he was able to recognize that feeling he could tell me if we were out in public. dont ask about that big dead spot on our lawn though!!! I started trying to potty train him at two, it didnt work, so i waited til he was 2 1/2, still not ready for the pooping part, but like i said he loved peeing outside. he wouldnt poop in the potty until he was close to 3 1/2. dont let anybody make you feel bad, when someone says "he's still not potty trained?" you could reply "no, but I'm not worried about it, I dont know to many kids in college that still wear diapers." or some other snappy comeback. he's still just a little guy, give him time and it will all work out.

With a five month old around, it might be harder to convince him to use the toilet if he is resistant. Letting my boy be wet didn't faze him- though it works for some- and pooping on the potty was a huge hurdle in our training (and continues to be even though he is 5 now!). That said, my advice is: don't pressure him or he'll resist, don't worry about what other people think and say because it's none of their business!, and ditch the pullups if they are giving him a rash. I saw some training pants at Onestepahead.com that are waterproof... something to consider...

My daughter who is almost three likes the videos Go Potty Go! and Potty Power and has decided to ditch the diapers this week (hopefully it'll work). Other people swear by the book Everybody Poops, but we never tried it... Potty training is tricky, I think, because so much of it is timing and temperament. Too bad they don't have a little "I'm ready to potty train" light so we know!! Best of luck!

E.,

My daughter was well over three years old before she was potty trained, actually closer to 3.5. Your son will be potty trained when he is ready. I known everyone says that, but it really is true.

And yes, people did comment to me about my daughter not being potty trained, but really it is none of their business. You are being a good mom for listening to your son and allowing him to move at his own pace. They are not his mother and ultimately, you have to do what is right for your family.

The one thing that really helped my daughter was charting. She loves stickers, so we did a potty chart and when she tinkled, she put on one sticker and when she pooped she got to put on two. She she filled a row then she got a prize. It was fun for her to watch her progress. There are some great charts you can download from the internet.

Good luck, when you son is ready one day he will be potty trained and when someone makes a comment just smile.

I didn't have time to read everyone's posts, so if I'm repeating please forgive me. First, in my opinion it is time to do a complete switch over to big boy underpants. At this point it is rarely an accident when the child goes potty in his pants. Then you need to tell him he has a choice to go potty in the toilet, but when he makes the choice to go potty in his underpants he has to clean it (with your guidance and help of course). We did this with my son, and it lasted for about 3 weeks, then we were done. Finally, don't be embarassed about your son's potty training development. If someone says something, just look them square in the eye, and tell them that every child develops at a different rate and he is right on track for his own development.

Good luck. It will be over before you know it.

Hi E.,
I think we moms have enough to feel worried about without placing guilt upon ourselves! You are not a bad mom! Don't worry. Your son will certainly respond when he's ready.

I think you may be trying to potty train him too early. I find that each child has a readiness time, and when they're being taught something that they're ready for, it goes very easily. Your son is telling you he's not ready. It is common for boys to be potty trained later than girls, too. I can't believe that anyone would have the gall to tell you you're too late in potty training him! He's not even three! Ignore those rude people! My son finally started to use the potty after three - he was almost three and a half.

Please don't take the advice of leaving him in wet underwear for awhile so he "gets the idea". This doesn't necessarily work. It's amazing what some kids will tolerate - wet underwear may not bother him at all, and all he'll get is more irritaed skin.

It's your job to guide him in this world, while also loving and accepting him. It's no reflection on you how he uses the potty - that is his own thing he needs to be ready for. Try to relax and use love and patience. Try to never shame him. Just keep at it - you may need to keep patiently explaining potty use every day for a few more months. Remember - this will pass! There's no way he'll become an older child who still wears diapers!

Read Dr. T. Berry Brazleton's book "Touchpoints" - there's a chapter about potty training. I'm sure it's at the library. It will surely help you relax around this issue.

Good luck! Don't worry - you're fine. Children are all different. Your son is right on track.

Hi E.,
People have strong opinions about potty training. And I know how you feel, but you are not a bad mom and don't let anyone else make you feel that way. Kids potty train at different ages -- and boys are often much later than girls. My son was not at all interested in potty training until he was 3. From age 2 we had a potty available and would ask him if he wanted to use it. We got him big-kid underwear with Thomas on them but didn't push him to wear them. On his 3rd birthday we talked about all of the things he learned the past year and could now do for himself and he was so proud. Then I asked him what things he might learn in his year of being 3. He mentioned not wearing diapers and using the big-kid potty. We told him that would be great, and we would help him whenever he was ready. About two days after his birthday he told us he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. We had a few days of some accidents and mad-dashes to the bathroom, but we never made him feel bad about it -- kept telling him that he was a big kid and that he would get the hang of it. And after about a week he was out of diapers with a few accidents in the following week or two, but nothing major. So my advice is to stay positive about it with him, but don't feel guilty yourself and don't make him feel guilty or ashamed. It will happen! Good luck!!!
:) S.

Like others have responded before me, I also say to forget about what other people have to say. If you really want to be serious about this, ditch the pull-ups all together & go straight to underwear. Pull-ups are like wearing diapers all over again & offer a false sense of security. Plus they aren't cheap. I used the 3 day potty training (google under the same name) methoid w/our second son. I liked this much better cuz it put him in control. The theory is that you don't take them to the potty every hour cuz then they're trained to go every hour which is what I did w/our 1st son & then had to start all over again. Put your son in the undies & tell him to let you know when he has to go & say this to him many times thru the day. 'Tell Mommy when you have to go potty.' This method also says not to sit your kid on the potty to 'try' as that's unnatural. The only time I had him go potty w/o letting me know was before we left the house. But remember he' still adjusting to the arrival of his baby brother so you may want to wait a bit longer & start when he turns 3. Best of luck!

Potty training is where your patience gets tried more than ever. You have to be consistant in taking him to the bathroom every hour. I sat my son on the toilet backwards then he could see himself go. Also when he has an accident have him wash the poo out of his underwear then you will rewash them. Put him in big boy underwear and you can put rubber pants over. You are not a bad mom kids are just all at their own pace. My niece is 6 and still working on it. Thats a little long but my sister has been really inconsistant.

In my experience, the less said the better.

I let my son go naked at home for a few days. When he pooped or peed on the floor, I talked to the poop or pee instead of to him. I scooped it up with toilet paper, plunked it into the potty that was sitting out in the living room, and said, "Silly old poop, get in the potty."

That was it. He 'put it in the potty' after that by sitting on the potty when it was coming out. I did not ask him to do that. He just did it.

That said, I think the best strategy is the one that comes from you. You know your kid best. Just be sure to clean up your anxiety about it before you start, otherwise it might infect your kid. He's normal. He's not late. And who cares what anyone else thinks.

My son was 4 before he was potty trained - he's ten now, and never has an accident. He was nine before he stopped wetting the bed, no one knew unless I told them and they still didn't care.

YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM for paying attention to your child and his interests!!! One day, literally, overnight, your son will want to use the potty and he will and that will likely be the end of diapers. All the prompting, prodding and reminding I did made no difference to my son. I think it was because I was taking responsibility for reminding him to go. This is a basic body function that is his responsibility, not yours. Let go of the control and he will stop using diapers/pull ups in his own time. (My daughter stopped using a diaper before she was 2 1/2).

My boy is almost 3 and I am not worried about the potty training yet. Kids learn at different stages and almost 3 is still early for boys. So if he was potty trainied, great but if he isn't, no big deal. Don't let anyone let you feel like your boy is late getting potty trained.
Good luck

Estrella,
Please don't be embarrassed because all kids develop at their own pace. My daughter who will be 3 in August as well shows almost no interest in the potty, but my 19 month old has gone in the potty more times than her sister. I do not push either of my girls to use the potty but would love to be done with diapers. I have tried pullups but she peed right through them (and they are too small for her). We have bought her underwear but she is not interested in them at this time.
Good luck with the poty training and know that we are all going through the same things!
J.

We all want potty training to be fast, but I'm convinced that isn't what we need to be concerned with. I know society seems to have a bad attitude toward kids not being trained by age three, but that just isn't realistic for some children, maybe not for most. Ignore the comments from people, and concentrate on what is in your son's best interests. Above all, don't be pushy with the training, but keep it low key and make him comfortable with the idea. Patience is the big key, and I know that's difficult at times. But, it pays off in the long run.

Boys don't usually potty train as early as girls so I'm surprised people would ask that question. I tried very hard with my son and he was finally successful at about 3 years old. Now I am working on my 2 1/2 year old son. By the way, my daughter was easy and potty trained around 2 1/2 (she is now 8). The best thing is to avoid pull ups all together and use real underwear - just carry changes of clothing. Plus they think the underwear is cool! After a week or two your son may really get it. A lot of the boys at my kids school got it right away with the real underwear (and the school asks us NOT to bring pull ups to school). If he is not successful, then he is simply not ready yet. If you push it when he's not ready it could back fire. My 2 1/2 year old sits on the potty all the time and pees on it once in a while, but over a week and a half he kept having accidents and not making any effort to get to the potty, so I stopped with the training. Of course, his school continues to try and talk to him, but I have since put him back in diapers. I will try again in a month or so. Good luck.

I didn't read all of the responses, so sorry if this is a repeat. Your son is still young, and it is completely normal for boys to be potty trained after 3 yrs old. I know so many who are 4 and over and still have issues. My son was just 3 when he was fully trained. We started very early, and he was perfectly capable of it, but didn't like to stop playing to go, so would have accidents. I backed off entirely and went back to diapers. I did give him a choice every morning if he wanted to wear diapers or underwear that day, but absolutely no pressure from me. Right around his 3rd birthday he decided he wanted to wear underwear. But the true motivation for him was he wanted to go to school and I told him he couldn't go to school in diapers. For both my children it was a matter of being motivated enough. For my son school, for my daughter-nail polish on her fingers and toes. (She's almost 3 and has been daytime potty trained for awhile, but we just recently mastered nighttime. Just remember not to pressure, make it his decision and when accidents happen absolutely no emotion from you--just oops, next time we'll try harder to get to the potty in time. Always have him "help" clean up any mess and get himself redressed. I think pull ups are a bad idea--going straight to underwear was much more effective for us. Good luck. Find something important to your child and use that as motivation. Try not to turn this into a power struggle.

I didn't read the other responses, as I'm trying with my 2.5yo, but I wanted to support you! You should NEVER feel like a bad mom just because your son - who isn't even 3 yet!!!! - isn't potty trained!! I've heard that boys take longer, and the average age of boys being potty trained during the day (not night) is 38 months! That's 3 years 2 months. Our sons will train when they're ready, and it's not something we can force. I just try to be patient and have him go on his little potty at least 4 times per day, whether he actually goes or not. It gives him consistency, and if we forget a time or get distracted, etc, that doesn't make us bad moms.... IT MAKES US REAL!

Hi E.,

I used www.threedaypottytraining.com and it worked like a charm. Good luck!

I don't really think there is a faster way. Plan to stay home for a couple of days, put the underwear on him and get him trained. If you stay home and stay consistent, it won't take long, but if you try putting on the pull-up to go out, he will get confused and it will take longer.

I have a 3.5 year old who has just started potty training. I would not worry at all about his age. They are simply ready when they're ready. Boys are usually later anyway. My first boy (now 8) wasn't potty trained until at least 3.5 either. It just doesn't matter. No one goes to college in diapers. What's more concerning is that you are feeling like a bad mommy! YOU ARE NOT!!!! Maybe you need to take some time to take care of your own needs so your cup is more full and you are not as vulnerable to these feelings (that, of course, we all have!) that your not good enough.

Hi we too are working on Potty training. I just orderd some "Scotty Potty" 2-in-1 training pants. http://www.pottyscotty.com/PS-Waterproof-PUL-Training-Pan... They have good reviews and seem soft (by the description). A pull-up is still a diaper. Try these or something like them so he can feel what his body has done.
Kim

The child must be ready, willing, and able to be toilet trained. He or she must be ready and they are ready when they are ready. There is nothing to be concerned about until their 4th birthday so says the doctors. Pushing them only make it worse. They have to be physically ready so that they can hold it, walk to the bathroom, pull down thier pants and then go. Toilet training is the whole process and not just going pee and poop in the toilet.
I find that pull ups slow down the process and going back and forth from diaper to pullups only make it worse. Target has cloth training pants by Gerber and there are also ones for night time with plastic on the outside. I have a boy now who in cotton training pants has no accidents. When his parents put pull ups on him, he goes in them. Always be cheerful, praise alot for good success and when there is an accident, have him take his wet clothes off, clean him up, and say, "Next time try to get to the bathroom in time. Here are your clothes to get dressed again." This is a great time for him/her to learn how to dress themselves also. JMO
F.

Hi E.
My grandson was potty trained over a 3-day weekend when he was 2 1/2 years old. We had read about this method in mama source and also on google.
My daughter in law set aside a weekend that fit her schedule where they could stay at home. Then she set him on the potty every hour. By day two he got it but she continued through the rest of the weekend. He has been fine since during daytime though at night he still wears a diaper. He is going to be 4 in June.
Best of luck
I.

Boys don't potty train until 3 1/2 usually. My mom told me that when my son was 2 and I thought to myself " MY son is much smarter than his uncles and cousin - he'll potty train early!" NOT! He still wets his pants a little at 4 1/2 if he gets too busy playing to notice he needs to go. Getting him to poop in the potty was a huge fight - he thought peeing in the potty was o.k. but didn't want to go poop.
The people who ask you either don't have kids or only have girls - they also don't have good manners!
Put your son back in diapers for a while - take a break and go back to potty training in a few weeks.

Hi E.,

My daughter was 3 when we started potty training her. We started over Xmas break and she was pretty much done by the end of the week. We set a timer for 15-20 minutes. Every time it went off, we got really excited and announced "Potty time!" We kept her in underwear during the day and just changed it every time she had an accident. Now she doesn't even need a diaper at bedtime. I suggest you visit the website about potty training in 3 days. Look it up on Google. It really worked for us.

Good luck!
C.

Dear E.,
You're not a bad mom!
I think we all have wondered if we're doing the right things sometimes, but no mom or kid is perfect. Sometimes people mean well, but don't always say things in the kindest manner. Try not to worry about it.
This is just my opinion, but I don't believe in pull-ups. At all! Get your son some big boy underpants for during the day and be really consistant about getting him on the potty at regular intervals. Have him try to go everytime you go. Whether he goes every time or even at all in the beginning doesn't really matter, it's just getting him in the habit of being on the potty every half hour or hour. Even if he pees his underwear, put him on the potty and say "This is where pee-pee goes...Let's make sure you're done before we get more underpants on."
The main thing is to be patient and let him sit on the potty for a little while, not just on then off. Sometimes they have to relax a few minutes before they can go. And, if he has an accident in his underpants, don't get mad. Let him help clean the mess, put him on the pot and try again.
The weather is getting warmer...if you have a yard with some privacy, let him run around naked from the waist down a bit or get him some cute shorts he can pull up and down easily. We had a big "pee rock" and my son thought the greatest thing was getting to pull his own pants down whiz on it while we were outside playing.
He'd say, "Gonna go pee on my rock, Momma." He didn't always really have to go, but he sure loved standing there trying. He and Grandpa had a pee rock at Nannie's house too. That same rock had been there for 3 other boys before him.
Sometimes you just have to get creative.

They really do get it figured out, just hang in there!
Best wishes!

Hi E.,

My daughter is only 20 months, so we haven't come to the potty training issue yet (almost time!). But I wanted to write to say that you are not a bad mom! I am sure I will feel the same way in a few months when we start to potty train our daughter, especially if it doesn't go well! But try not to worry about what other people think. I can tell from reading Mamasource that it is normal for kids to still be working on potty training at 3 years old, especially boys. And I'll bet that if you are more relaxed about it then your son will be, too, and it will go more smoothly.

It is crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves to keep up with certain time schedules for our kids! I was SO worried when our daughter didn't walk until 16 1/2 months. But she is a great little walker now! I wish I hadn't stressed about it. Your son will be peeing in the potty soon enough and you will look back and wonder what the fuss was about. :)

Good luck!

H.

Hi E.,

My son will be three on 6/21 and he has no desire to potty train...oh actually, just last week he showed interest, but it was for a day and I was soo excited...but that was the last time! My advise...who cares what people think! Be confident in your parenting and to see the bigger picture. Our boys will eventually potty train becasue I'm pretty sure I will not be changing his diaper at his wedding. Go easy on him and don't force anything he's not ready for....their peers will take care of the rest! Next time someone asks "he's still not potty trained??!!" Tell them...."absolutely no interest."

XX
S.

Oh I'm so glad you brought this up today!! :) My son will be 3 at the end of July and I also have a 16 mth old (boy also). he JUST went pee pee on the potty last night for the first time, TWICE. And once this morning. he has been in pull ups for about 2 months and is happy to do whatever in them. I think something just CLICKED in him. I felt horrible too because he's what I thought as an "older" child. But honestly the majority of boys don't get potty trained until 3 or later.
Is he in daycare? Because apparently he actually has been going on the potty there for a week or so because he watches the other kids. Try putting the baby on the potty too after him, or first, to show him that everyone does it. Maybe form a line, you go, baby goes, he goes, dad goes>?? All I can say is last night, he was ready, the day before he wasn't. It was like a switch clicked on.

good luck!!

First and foremost, do NOT let anyone make you feel like a bad parent. Some kids are super easy to potty train and others take more time. The fact that you are trying and looking for help tells me you are doing all you can. Make sure that you stay relaxed and calm and he will too.
For my daughter, we never used pull ups. I would either keep her naked or let her wear big girl panties. We would set a timer for every 15 min and when it went off, sing a potty song and try. If she didn't go, that was ok. We just re set the timer and tried again. If she went we would set the timer for a longer period of time. I never kept her in wet panties, she knew right away she didn't like the feeling. We also went to the store and I let her pick out her panties and they were so special to her that she didn't want to pee in them.
Keep at it, it may take more time but eventually he will get it. But most importantly don't worry about those "mommy looks." He will get there when he is ready.