Potty Training - Brockton, MA

Hi K.,

My advice would be the best advice that was given to me. Do nothing! Let him tell you when he's ready. My daughter was 3 years 3 months old and let me know when she was ready to wear big girl underwear. The next day I sent her to pre-school in underwear and she never turned back. I put pull ups on her at night, but that only last a few nights after waking up dry. No stress on any of us. It is true what they say "your kids won't go to kindergarten in diapers". I know they say boys can take a little longer than girls, but the best part of potty training for me was there wasn't any training!

good luck,
C.

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Hi K.,

I feel your frustration! Background: We have a (now) 4 year old daughter who resisted training from the time she was almost 2. We didn't want to force the issue and the pediatrician said that it wouldn't be a big deal until the age of 5. So we would be casual about it. Offer the training potty after bath--when she was relaxed. We offered any time I was in the bathroom to have her try, as well. She really didn't care. No desire to do the potty thing and didn't mind a wet or dirty diaper. I had also heard that summer was the best time to try. Because she is involved with a class one day a week that would have required her to be potty trained or be in a younger aged classroom, I decided last August that it was sink or swim. She has a February birthday, so the class just below hers has children that are almost 2 years younger and that wouldn't have been appropriate for her.
What worked: For one week I completely stripped her naked and confined her to an easily cleaned place in our kitchen. She had access to toys and pretty much anything which would be easily cleaned. It was not easy. She had a lot of accidents and would even play in her pee on occasion--quite frustrating for Mom! We would reward her going on her potty with a Hershey Kiss until we realized that she was controlling herself well to be able to get as many kisses as possible. Then we would only give them if she went on the "big girl potty." What worked the best in the end was doing this, adding a little stupid made up song to sing when she did it, and putting stickers of her choosing on a paper that I taped to the wall. She had a couple of accidents--but would use the pull-ups as diapers, so those were no longer an option. After about a month, she was doing well and had one really bad accident--it must have left an impression because she has been completely accident free since--both day and night!

If you have any questions, or if I tried to gloss over a few parts too quickly, please write back and let me know, I'm happy to clarify! Good luck.

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Hi K.,

I am a divorced mother of twin boys that just turned four. I agree with your Mom that is is much easier to train in the warm weather since your son can run around in his underwear. He can also make it to the bathroom quicker. I wouldn't use food as a reward. I made a wall chart that was big - used big stickers the boys put in thier boxes when they had success. I offered a choice of somthing special out of a basket which I kept out of reach in their room but visable as a motivation. Mostly cars, art stuff - like a buck a piece. Most of the training happened over one weekend.. sucked it up - it was a long weekend but then it was over... can't tell you how many accidents we had but it was done. I dont' think you should fight with him over it - it should be positve. Are you using a childs potty or the big toilet? I got a kids potty at target for like $30 - just he right size for them not to be intimidated. Wish you the best of luck!

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K.,
I had a similar experience with my son and tried just about the same things. We had to get him potty trained because he has verys ensitive skin and was getting terrible diaper rash. Even still, things were slow until he bought into the process and decided he wanted to do it. We ultimately sat him on the potty (the squisshy seat on the adult toilet worked best for us-he hated the little potties and that was part of the problem) several times a day just to try. He was still wearing pull-ups. If he clearly was going to "go" in his trainers we asked if he would try the potty. Sometimes he did reluctantly and sometimes he refused. We found it best not to make it a big deal either way. Then, we designated certain days as underwear days. He went to daycare two days a week so he could were pull-ups there but he needed to wear underwear at home. Eventually he just accepted the potty. He is turning 4 at the end of the month and has just stopped wearing night-time trainers. I think the day time training took a few months but he still had accidents at preschool occasionally.

Sorry that there isn't a magic answer. Know that you aren't doing anything "wrong" go with the pace of your child and the needs of your family. And understand that he needs to decide that it is time.

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Good luck K.,
My older son did a great job on the potty. He wasn't potty trained all the way until 3 1/2, but we didn't battle about it. We blew bubbles on the potty, read books, we would sit backwards on the big potty and draw pictures with bathtub crayons on the back of the lid. But my younger son was not, and still is not one to sit down. We battled from the time he was 3 and showed interest until a little after 3 1/2, when he chose to start using it. I don't think I trained him, I think he decided when he was ready. It was a difficult 6 months because I really felt that he was ready, but he just didn't want to. We finally compromised and he could go in his diaper, but he had to stand inthe bathroom to go. They are all so differnt...good luck

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Hi K.,

I had the same problem with my son who just turned four. He was not daytime trained until the end of January. He had lots of accidents, refused to even try the potty, and it became a power struggle so I backed off. Then my husband asked him WHY he didn't want to use the potty. He answered that it was because he liked having someone help him. Ultimately, we decided that he could have as much help as he needed if he tried to use the potty, but that he'd have to change himself if he had an accident. He didn't like having to do that, so after a few times of refusing to go to the potty he kept trying because he loved the attention and help he was getting. That, paired with a money incentive system (5 cents for pee, 10 cents for poop, 3 pennies for staying dry, and one penny for washing hands--he's like a miniature Alex P. Keaton when it comes to money!) worked very well and within 2 weeks he had it down. And he doesn't ask for help as much anymore because he wants to do it all himself, like a big boy. He still prefers to pee sitting down; we need to work on getting the job done standing up, which will be easier when he starts preschool in September.
Good luck!!

L.

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hey K.!
i always started mine at about 1 1/2yo. i would just start noticing when they would stop and concentrate for a minute, and knew they were peeing. i would put them on the potty. i never made them do it. if they said no, that was fine. i didnt want to push the issue and discourage them from going. it helped that they were little. being 3, he really should not have the choice anymore (in my opinion). once they started getting the hang of it, i would just let them run around naked and they just did it. with my son, i put the potty seat on the floor in the living room. he would sit sometimes for 30 min and watch a show. but, he was going!! all on his own, a month after he turned 2, he was trained. it was awesome! i wasnt expecting it for quite a while, but its been 4 months and hes still doing great! still not trained at night, but i know that will come with age. plus, hes still in a crib, so he cant just get up at night and go.
i would just out right tell him he has to go on the toilet, and leave him naked in the house so he can just go! i think it helps that they dont want to go on the floor!! and, if he does go on the floor, make him clean it (supervised) so he understands what he is doing. im sure after a while he wont want to clean it anymore and go on the potty!! good luck!

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One thing that always worked with my daughter was to let her be bare-bottomed when we were home. I had to clean a few ickies off the floor from time-to-time, but it helped immensely. As soon as she had panties on, she would mess her pants. Eventually we were able to get her to go when she was wearing panties and also when we weren't home. Keep trying and stay consistent!

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I had the same problem with my 3 yr old and found that a sheet of paper on the door to put a sticker on every time he uses the bathroom works wonders. you could also do something special with him that he likes. Debbie

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I had to push my son a little and then he trained in four days. I prepared him by telling him that I had bought the last pack of diapers. Then, when it was gone, I got up with him first thing in the morning and put him in a t-shirt with no pants. I let him run around that way all day and used pull ups only for naps and outings. You really have to stay home most of the time for about a week, though. He trained in four days because he really could understand what he was feeling with his pants off. Only when he was trained did I let him use his new underwear. I still used pull ups for sleeping and then eventually he woke up dry all of the time and we were able to eliminate those. I have another son that is 2 and I plan to do it the same way with him as well. Just don't give up. Your son will train.

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My son is 3 1/2 and we were having the same trouble. He was all trained and then an event happened ( in-laws moving in with us) and we needed to start all over. We did the positive method of every five minutes asking if his diaper was dry and praising him greatly if it was. after one day, when we asked if he was dry, we congratulated him and directed him to the potty so he would keep his promise to keep his pants dry and it worked. It took a lot of patience to start over, but it worked. He still wears pull ups at night though. We make sure as soon as he gets up, he takes them off and uses the potty then puts on underwear. This keeps him from backsliding to uses the pull ups as a diaper.

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hi there-
I also have a three year boy. I started potty training him last July, he turned 3 that September. It was very hard, what finally worked and it only took a few days, is to only put him in underwear. Get rid of the pull ups!! I went thru alot of underwear, but he was trained within the week. He still has accidents sometimes at night,but that's ok....I also used the m and m method for going poops. After he went on the potty, he got an m and m...no other time..it worked...good luck!!

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Hi~You've already had alot of responses, but I thought I'd share what worked for us. We did some diaper-off time everyday for a year, but didn't really push full potty training until our DS was just over 3. We didn't use stickers or rewards, but did read books to him while he was on the potty. We 'trained' him in about a week, pretty painlessly. Here's what I think really helped:
1. For about a month prior to actually training, I kept saying things like "you're almost ready to get rid of diaper, but not quite yet..." Silly reverse psychology, I know, but by the time we started, DS was insisting that he was ready. We also kept him super clean, so he felt that being wet or having poopy diapers was really uncomfortable.
2. For a week we stayed really close to home & used underwear & easy to pull down pants, but no diapers or pull-ups (my DS used them like diapers too) during the day. We had an accident just about everyday for about 5 days (no big dewal, I was expecting that), then we were done! Very occasional accidents after that, 3 months later we got rid of nightime diapers too.
3. FOr the training week I brought him to the potty every hour & whenever he got fidgety or showed signs of needing to go. We read stories on the potty & kept up lots of positive excitment about the whole process. I kept up that vigilence for a long time...even now that he's 4 asking him to 'check in with his body' when he can't sit still.
Hope this is helpful!

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Hi. My older daughter did not potty train until 3 weeks after she turned three. Before that, she only wanted to wear her diapers (refused pull-ups or underwear). She would not even pee or poop on the potty at all. Of course, she knew when she was going but just preferred to go in her diaper. The key for us was that I NEVER pressured her. We would talk about it a lot but I would tell her to let me know when she is ready. One morning she said she did not want her diapers anymore and that was it...just like that. One month later, she said she did not want pull-ups at night either and switched to underwear at night. Her friends who had been potty trained for over a year at that point are still wearing pull-ups at night now. She has never had an accident...either during the day or at night. I just waited until she was completely ready and it was done in a day. Some of my other friends little ones trained a lot earlier than my daughter, but it took months and lots of accidents. I am a believer that if you wait until they are completely ready, it should only take a few days to do it.

Good luck!

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IS there a physical reasonhe can't? Can he pedal a bike? If he can it most likely rules out a physical reason.. something to do with muscle developement.
Other than that
#1 throw out the pull ups.... (let him see youdo this)
#2 keep him in UNDERWEAR all day no more pull-ups
#3 Stay consistant
#4 don't make a fuss over accidents simply tell/help him cleanup into fresh clothes(stock up on laundry soap)
#5 after he falls asleep for the night IN UNDERWEAR pull the pullups oput of the trash and HIDE them... If he peees at night you can put one onhim inhis sleep...
#6STICKERS may lead to a bigger treat like a new toy buy one with him and tell him if you have no accidents for 1 week youget the prize &
#7 give him prize if he ar least improves to one or two accidents a day.. Hey this ain't the military and he is getting the point
#8 If you live in the country where he can pee on trees or in mud puddles that will help Or cheerios (any cereal that is O shaped will work)make great targets.
I hope this helps and keep us up dated :)

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Hi...We are in the same boat! My son will be 4 in Sept. He has had 1 week spurts of using the toiliet, but then decides that diapers are easier and the accidents become constant. We JUST bought a potty seat that fits over the toliet with a little ladder step stool for him to climb up. We opened it last night and he climbed up and peed right away. Then, for the next 1/2 hour he kept asking to practice...up and down he went...he loved it. I will let you know how it goes. Good luck!

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Hi K.!
I would say that even though you think he's ready it sounds like he's really not. You've got alot going on right now with planning a wedding and getting ready for school. He just might be feeling a little stressed and just isn't ready. Put potty training on hold and don't even talk about it for now and try again in a month or so. It can make all the difference in the world. When he's ready he'll train really quickly. Sometimes getting Daddy involved in training boys helps alot too.

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the old adage "no child ever went to Kindergarten in a diaper" is true
just let him be and he will suprise you... mine did!!!!

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Did daddy take him in and show him what to do?? My son went right to peeing standing up . He was very resistant (yes he was almost 4 when HE decided it was time). Encourage him, but don't push.. we used Chuck E Cheese as an incentive - he hates stickers. Try anything that he loves and run with it.. we did the pee pee dance when we got success too.. he loved that.. good luck

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Hi K., I am a mother of a three year old boy, who is fully potty-trained. He began to show signs last august, so we took this opportunity to go through with it. We picked one weekend, to completely take him out of diapers. This process we used with him has worked with other mothers I interact with so we had high hopes that this would work with our son. Now, it should take one weekend to do it, you can not have anything going on, all potty training. Put him in underwear,(once placed in underwear you can not go back to diapers, only in the evening until you think he is ready for that) take him every 1/2 hour to hour. With our son, we gave him instant gratification prizes. I will be honest, the first day was horrible, he had so many accidents that day. The second day was fewer accidents but much better. By the fourth day, he was accident free. Going poop is definitely different but once they realize the feeling they should be able to make to the bathroom. Good luck!!! Amy

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you sound like I did last year! We had tried everything with our 3 year old..treats, surprises, stickers, praise, praise, praise...but he was not consistent and it was getting expensive. He knew when he had to go, but preferred his diaper. We had to put 2 pullups on him at night and he slept with a plastic sheet on his bed because he leaked through the two diapers all the time! We thought he would never be potty trained. We finally backed off and within a few months he did it himself. He was 4 by then. He wore a pull up at night for a while longer and now gets up in the middle of the night to go! We did not push it but continued to praise him when he did it right. We also used his older cousins, who he looks up to. "your're such a big boy like Josh and you are going pee-pee like he does!..." I really feel like once we backed off a little he did it in his own time. Plus it's less stressful on you! We are in the process of training our 3 year old daughter. She has A LOT more accidents than he did, but I am trying to be OK with it. She still wears a pull up at night and wear princess underwear during the day. Good luck!

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Hi, i have 2 teen boys. Yes they did not care they had dirty diapers like girls do. I did all the same things and not much helped. As much as could be tolerated i left them in the messy diaper and tried not to change it quickly. Finally they caught on. Pam L*

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K.~ I had this issue with one of my triplets. His brother transitioned to character brief underwear just fine. But G-man continued to pee in them, eventhough he would pee on the potty when naked. A friend suggested kids boxer shorts and they have completely worked wonders! He loves them and has not had any pee accidents in them. It must be the feeling of freedom as opposed to the briefs still feeling like a diaper and him forgetting. It's amazing how quickly it has worked! And they look really cute on! Good luck.

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Hello, I have a 3 year old daughter and she is in the same position as your son. She will wear underwear but has "accidents" and she will wear pullups also and she goes in them, I try to ask her every hour to go and she is willing to sit on her potty and try. I am not rushing it, I am trying to get her to the point of telling me that she has to go. There is not much you can do until they are ready..Just try to be consistent. It is the hardest thing to teach a kid. Believe me I have 2 older kids 13 and 6. and they weren't too hard to teach but every kid is different. Good Luck..T.

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