Potty Training - Oceanside,CA

I let my daughter pick out some really cute ruffle big girl panties for when she starts going on the potty(7 pair one for each day of the week)(but not a pkg, individual ones she picked out herself) and I would not let her wear them until she went on the potty. I wasn't mean I just told her we were picking them out and as soon as she goes on the potty, she can wear them. She learned the next week. She was not quite 27 months-but she did have very good verbal skills so she completely understood me.
Now my son I had to bribe with skittles he was almost 3, but 3 or 4 skittles each time he sat on the potty and had success worked wonders- all kids are different but both my kids trained easily-my son was not ready at 2 like my daughter was.
GOOD LUCK

Set backs happen when you potty train and they are perfectly normal and nothing to stress about. Just remain positive and she will get it together when she is ready. The biggest mistake I ever did was to push it too much. My suggestion is to put a little potty near where she plays or sleeps so that if she does wait for the very last second to go she has an escape plan!

I potty trained my daughter between a year and a half and two years old. You either have to give up a weekend and stay at home the entire weekend and do nothing but take her to the bathroom every 30 minutes or give up a week if it takes longer than a weekend. Keep her in underwear while you are training her. The pull ups should only be used if you have to go out of the house. Reward her with stickers after each time she uses the bathroom. If stickers don't work than use candy. I know that sounds bad but, you'll be saving a lot of money not having to buy diapers and its only to be used while she's getting trained. Get one of the potty seats that go over the toilet for her to use. Dont' use a toilet trainer, then they get use to only using that and not the toilet as they get older. Use the pull ups when she goes to sleep. Don't let her have any liquids before bed time and wake her up once in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I hope this helps.

A little about me:
I am 35 years old, mother of two beautiful children, my son is 5 years old, and my daughter is 3.

I have a three year old who had all the same capabilities as your daughter at 2 1/2, but a mediocre interest in potty training until a month or so before she turned three. My experience was that she did it when she was ready. I kept offering her the opportunity to use the potty, but I never forced anything or got upset about it. It was kind of like a light turned on with her one day. She suddenly seemed more interested in the potty. Inside of two days after that happened, she was fully potty trained. Pee and poop and nap time too. We still keep her in a pull up at night, but most of the time she is dry in the am and she's even called out a couple times at night to go potty. So I would say, offer it up, but let her go at her own pace. She may surprise you and one day just do it. My mom, a pediatric nurse practitioner always says "Don't worry, they all learn eventually. No one walks down the aisle in a diaper." :) Good luck to you.

J.,

It sounds to me that she doesn't really understand about going to the restroom. If she believes,that
"the pee pee needs your help to come out of the bladder, it can't do it without your help..." It doesn't, you might want to teach her that the peepee is going to come out anyway with or without her help and then ask her where does she want it go? On her or somewhere else (of course the toilet) but let her tell you that.She sounds very smart and maybe is trying to control a situation she believes she can rather than to treat it more like a decision that needs to be made.
Hope this helps
All the best,
Deb

Hey J.,
let her go with no underware or pull ups when she is in the house.(not when she sleeps of course) That worked with my nephew. It only took a few weeks and he was 100% potty trained. She may have accidents on the floor but it shouldn't last long.
Good luck.

I have four children ages 17, 14, 6 and 3. The first three were hard to potty train but my 3yr old potty trained himself. (no pull-ups) It its my opinion that the pull- ups or diapers prevents them from recognizing the feeling of being wet and the urge to go. If you get rid of the pull-ups completely and put her in panties even at night she will come to realize she has to go in the potty. Her body needs the practice in order to recognize those feelings so during the day give her as much liquids as she will take. This will ensure she has as much practice her body needs in order to sence the feeling. Work on it for at least 2-3 days. I mean commit yourself to doing nothing else but this for those few days. You will need it because of the clean up!! But you will see that she will start to realize when she needs to go. At night put a matress pad on the bed and have extra sheets available or make a bed on the floor for when she has an accident. My daughter was 4 and still in pull-ups at night. She would wake up dry and go in the pull-up when she woke up and get upset if I tried to take it off before she went potty in it! They are nothing but a crutch in my opinion. So I decided not to use them at all with my little one using this method and he was potty trained over night!! No pull-ups even at night!! Never even bought them. He has been potty trained since he was 20 months old. He has had about 3 accidents at night but that's not too bad.

I am also a 33 year old mother to a 2 1/2 year old daughter who will be 3 in August. She is going through much the same experience, and although we are not finished with potty training yet either, it does help to know that you are both normal!
Hang in there. Remember to bring her books to read on the potty, sing songs, and make it fun. We even sing "Where is pee-pee" instead of where is Thumbkin and "listen" for the pee-pee sound. Whatever works! Go potty when she goes, and remind her how happy it makes you to see her go potty. They are stubborn, brilliant, and most of all ours!
best of luck,
R. P.

We used a timer for our son. I would set it for about 20 - 30 minutes and when it went off we would go to the bathroom. If he went great, if not then we would try again. Ian was afraid of falling in at first so we put him backwards on the toilet so he had something to hang onto. Plus rewards went a long way, we did a chart and if he went he got stickers on the chart. At the end of the day we tallied them up and he got a treat based on how many stickers he had.

Good luck and just remember no kid ever went to high school in diapers.

She's telling you loud and clear she's just not ready! Put her back in diapers, and check with her every month to see if she's ready to give them up and wear big girl panties. (Simply ask her.) Let her be on her own time table. 2-1/2 is so very young, and I am amazed your pediatrician didn't tell you this!

Try a chart everytime she goes in the potty she gets a sticker make it fun when she has a whole week or day of no accedents reward her with her favorite snack, toy etc. also make it a BIG deal me and my daugther do the high five, yell, and a thumbs up. My daugther has the elmo potty so it talks says "good job, you did it" etc. Maybe a fun potty will make it like a game and she will want to use the potty. Good Luck She will get it, when shes ready.

Hi J.,
I have 3 children, a son that is 6, daughter 4 1/2 and a baby that just turned 1. My son (my first born) was so different from my daughter. He is strong willed, but also likes to please. He was #1 potty trained when he was 3, but took a little longer with #2. There is the theory of not getting mad, but it wasn't until I finally did get upset with him that he became #2 potty trained, and that took about 6 months longer, so he was 3 1/2. My daughter, now 4 1/2, was much more difficult. She is VERY strong willed and didn't want any help. I've read that girls are easier and train faster, but she was 3 1/2 too when she finally got it. She started preschool at 3 and I think seeing her friends at school go into the potty was motivating. My son has not had accidents since he was 3 1/2, but my daughter still has them now and then when she holds it and waits too long. Usually when she is having fun playing and doesn't get to the potty in time, so I really make an effort to remind her to go potty before we leave the house. She has a hard time holding it. Some kids really are just not ready to be completely potty trained until 3 - 3 1/2. If there is a class or something that your daughter really loves (a friend, a relative to visit a special treat), that might be the motivater to go potty before you leave the house or you can't go. Some children also like the sticker board with squares. When all the squares in a line have a sticker, the child will receive a treat or go somewhere special. My son LOVED this really cool fire truck with all the bells and whistles that I found in great condition at a second hand store. I put that above the potty, so everytime he went in the potty he was able to play with the fire truck. That was very motivating to him. He could see it above him and knew that I'd take it down. These are just a few ideas. You might see her change when she becomes 3 (in just a few months)and when she starts seeing other children use the potty. Those few months and becoming a "BIG 3 year old" might make a difference.

Good luck,

R., Mom of 3

I see a power struggle going on. Do you have a small toilet for her? I left them available for my sons and they could sit down and read a book (monkey see monkey do). Relax and maybe don't explain so much, they know how to manipulate at that age.

Hi. I am a 44 year old mom to three wonderful and strong willed daughters ages 8, 6 and 3 1/2 :-) With the first one, I thought that since she was very verbal at 2 1/2, I would potty train her. I was very frustrated that she wanted to do everything herself and would not go when I suggested it, insisted on it, got upset and tried not to show it...etc. (you get the picture). When her body was ready..got the signal in time to get herself to the potty...she did it on her own and she was very confident and happy about it. I had tried bribes, taking her in the middle of the night, etc. I finally decided that pull ups at night and naps would keep her from getting upset that she was wet, and kept me from having to clean her bed every day. She did it when she was ready.
My second girl decided on her own when her baby sister was born (She was 2.9) that only babies wear diapers and "kicked her diaper to the sky" and never wore a diaper since.
My third girl took awhile to get "clicked in" but once her body started sending the signals in time...she did it. She refused to go to the bathroom to even attempt either pee or poop unless it was her idea and she really had to go. Sometimes, still, she is busy at "work" and forgets to get there in time.
It is a process.
One thing that is very important: Does your daughter wake up dry with the pull-up on? Did she wake up dry in the morning as a baby? If so, she may just need the extra security of the pull-up for awhile.
Most important: DON'T STRESS! I am sure she will not walk down the aisle in a pull-up :-)
Good Luck!

we had a similar problem when our daughter started potty training. She is 2 years 7 months now and completely in underwear even at night. At school she would be fine when other kids were going too. At home with us she would kick scream cry and say no she didn't have to go and then 10 minutes later pee or poop her pants. I don't know if this is right or not but i started letting her cry and pulling down her pants and setting her on the potty and then i would sit in there with her and talk to her so she was distracted and in less than 30 seconds she would stop crying and go to the bathroom. as for the pooping she still only goes on her little potty. it is too hard for her to relax on the big potty and sometime she takes 20 minutes to go.
hope this helps good luck

Hi!
I had this same problem when my daughter was approaching 3. I bought a cheap calendar and some reward stickers. Everytime she went potty she got a sticker and if she got 4 stickers in one day I'd take her to Target and let her pick a "prize" from the dollar bin. The rules were that she had to go potty when I asked her to, and if she went on her own all day then she'd get an extra sticker at the end of the day. We kept the calendar in her bathroom and let her pick the stickers she wanted to use so she felt involved in the process. There were days when we had more accidents than others, and there still are days when she'll have an accident but for the most part she takes care of it all on her own now.

Good luck!

Have you tried a reward system? make a board chart, and give her one sticker for sitting on the potty, and 2 for making a pee and 3 for a poop

have you tried a small step that she can use to get up to the potty by herself so you don't have to lift her up to the potty? just a thought. good luck.

J.,

This is one of those times when you absolutely HAVE to let her take it at her own speed! Period. As a potty training teacher (seriously, in a Seattle daycare) for over 5 years, having worked with kids for over 2 decades, let me assure you, that she will indeed be potty trained before she enters kindergarten! When children are not ready ~ for whatever reason~ potty training becomes a power struggle. This is one of the few cases where the child can, and will, win.

Dont' think of it as back peddling, or regression, instead, think of it in terms that you jumped the gun to begin with. Although she showed all the signs, she was not actually READY. Let it go. Go back to diapers for a couple more months. When she is truly ready, she will let you know, not the other way around.

However, if you do push her, there will be consequences. a girlfriend of mine did just that, and her daughter uses potty training as a tool to punish her mom to this day. When she doesn't get what she wants, she will poop in her panties. She is now 10. Seriously. As a day care teacher, I have watched it happen over and over. There are very few things that a child has total control over, eating and eliminating are 2 of them. Make them a battle ground, and you will ultimately loose.

Let her make it happen when she is ready. I have yet to see a child enter school in diapers :)

Good Luck,
H.

I used two videos with my kids "Once Upon a Potty" and "Elmos Potty Time". With my daughter (now 6) I started very early at 18 months because she was taking off her diaper, pooping on the floor and blaming it on the cat. The poop part was easy because she just didn't like having a poopy diaper, however she was 2 before she started to pee. The babysitters refused to help me potty train early so I just gave up and decided to wait until my daughter told me she was ready. One day she came to me and told me she wanted to start going on the potty. I was like magic - within 3 days she was completely free of diapers. With my son (almost 3) I told myself that I am too busy to potty train and instead of pushing it just wait until he was truely ready like his sister. Plus he is one of those kids that has to do everything himself and everything has to be his idea. I knew pushing him to use the toilet would only backfire. A couple of weeks ago he told me he wanted so start going on the potty and within 3 days he was completely trained - granted we do still have a few accidents. I let both of my kids go naked for a few days and they figured it out on thier own. My point - if you wait until they are ready and it is their idea it will be easier on both of you!

I wanted to post here just to say 'we've all been there'. My daughter went through the same thing. She refused to get on the potty etc. keeping her naked seemed to help, but FINALLY I let it go. Guess what?! When SHE was ready she started using the potty. within weeks she was pooping there and within one week of that told me that she did not want to wear diapers at night at all! She has always been bright and on the advanced side, but was 3 1/2 by the time she was out of diapers. Like so many things with kids i have realized that it is when they are ready and eventually your lovely child will be ready. For Kira I recall that the actually having the awareness that she had to go was the thing. I mean I seemed to think I knew when she had to go. i still "remind" her to go instead of accepting that she actually knows when she has to go and I need to stay out of it!LOL Hope this at least made you smile. Best, H.

Sounds like your on track so far. In the school I use to Direct, we had a potty training program. The biggest key was when the child had an accident, we would make them responsible for changing themselves, stressing how much hard work it is to have to change and clean up after and accident happens, and explaining that going on the potty makes it so easy. It well be hard not to want to jump in and help get those wet sox’s off, but necessary not to. They really need to do all the work, from changing their cloths down to wiping up the floor. We would also request the parents to have the child help with his/her laundry. Once they see all the work they have to do, it only took a short time before they were begging to use the toilet! :) I hope this helps!

Hi J.,

She may not be quite ready physically to be trained. I'd keep her in pull-ups even during the day so you don't have to deal with the accidents. You're right to not push it, it'll happen pretty soon on its own.

V.

I think there is alot of people who can say they have been in your same shoes. I had the same issues with my son. I tried everything...getting upset with him....praising him.....rewarding him when you went in the toliet....but nothing seemed to work. We would put underwear on during the day and he would hold it until nap time or bedtime because we would put a pull-up on. I didn't know what to do.....until I was explaining my issues to my brother(single, no children) how frustrated I was.....being the lawyer he is...he said just relax...."he will not got to college with pull ups on"...."let him do it on his own".....WOW! So...I did relax and let my son do it on his own....Within a couple of weeks he was fully potty trained......GOOD LUCK

Hi J.,
Try using a trainer-potty. Your daughter won't need you to sit her on it so she may feel more comfortable and have less accidents. I used one for my son and I moved it from room to room as we moved around the house so he always had it in sight and on mind. We'd empty the bowl in the toilet together and he'd flush. He trained right away and moved on to the "big" potty when he realized how easy it was. Good luck.

She really might not be ready to be potty trained. I'm not saying that she is. A good way to help her along is to give her a treat (something she really likes but doesn't get very often) or do what I did and try money. Don't think its going off the side. I would keep the money in a safe place. Everytime she went to the bathroom, I gave her a nickle. We added 5 nickles to make a quarter, and 4 quarters for a dollar. When she hit a dollar, we took her to the store and let her buy anything she wanted with her dollar.

It took a while, but it does work.

J.

I thought I would share with you a neat little contraption that I just saw in a magazine. It is a toddler "watch" with a timer (you can set the time intervals) that will beep when it is time to go to the bathroom. This might be motivating for your strong willed little one if she is wanting independence. If you are interested, it's called the "potty watch" at www.onestepahead.com and it is $10.95.
I'm sorry I have no other advice - I have only one potty trained child and he did it himself, and has not regressed (yet!). One little trick that helped when I wanted him to go to the bathroom before we left the house (he would fight me on it almost every time saying he didn't have to go) I would say, do you want to go first or should I go first? Everytime, he wanted to go first, but it was his choice and I think that was the trick. He was doing what I wanted him to do, but he got to make a choice in the matter. Maybe that will help!

Hi! My daughter is going through her potty training phase now too. We are almost done. Just working on night time and naps now. She is 27 months old. I let her go at her own free will. I also let her come with me to the potty and she helps me flush the toilet and wash hands. She has both a little potty and a potty seat. She prefers the potty seat. When she goes potty we make a big deal out of it and do a song and dance. She also has two potty books that we keep in the bathroom for her. We read them when she goes potty especially poopoo time! She loves to wash her hands and sing her ABC's while she washes them. She loves princess so I also bought her princess panties. She loves to wear them. Sometimes during the day I let her run around with no bottoms and she'll go to the potty. I learned they will go when they are ready. If you push it when she's not ready it will be frustrating for the both of you. When she is ready it will take no time at all to get through the potty training phase. Hope this helps! Take care & God Bless!

I cannot agree with Heather W more. My son became resistant and as a result didn't completely potty train until he was almost 4 years old. It wasn't until we stopped the power struggle and let him do it on his terms that he did. He's 12 and has NEVER wet the bed or had a single accident since. You've probably gotten the same advice from the pediatrician. Listen to them. It is the "advice" of parents who pushed their kids or didn't have the strong willed reaction we did that caused my son's father to push him resulting in resistance. It wasn't until he gave up the fight that it worked or he would have been potty trained a lot sooner. When he did do it himself, that is when we'd do the "potty dance" where I'd sing "we just used the pot-TEE" like a conga beat and then he and I would dance around the living room together in a congo type line.
Your child isn't considered resistant until after age 3. It sounds like you have a very independent child like mine and you need to let her own this experience and let her do it on her terms or it can be A LOT worse.
These are some helpful links that you should read :)
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/pottytraining/a/06_pty_mis...
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatrics-1429/Potty-Training...
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/weeklyquestion/a/121201_as...

Hi there,

So odd, but my daughter will be three in July and I'm also 33! Anyway, I had the same problem, so I started setting the timer, telling her that I would set it for 5-10 minutes and when it went off, we needed to go potty. That "bad cop" technique worked so much better than me constantly badgering her to go. It's worth a try. You've probably also already done this, but I told her that when she showed me she was really going to go in the potty like a big girl, she could pick out her own underwear. Princess, of course. :)

Hope that helps!

You need to get past the "she wants to do it all herself" bit. In a nice gentle way, you set the potty schedule. Always before you leave the house (and you can do it too). The again an hour later. Bring a porta-potty to the park. Let her know she is not in trouble, just that she needs help remembering. I have a stubborn daughter and she didn't fight too much on this one. We just got into the schedule of mommy suggesting we go, and we all go.

Dear J.,
I rember when my daughter was being potty trained. It can seem a little frustrating somes. Hang in there she'll be trained before you know it, some kids just take a little longer.

here aare a couple of ideas that might help.

If you are using a regular potty, you might want to invest in a kid friendly potty chair. they are just the right height for the little ones to sit on themselves. It also has a pretend flush sound when they get off of it. It also talks and tell them all kinds of things like good jobs, etc. You can find them at Target or Wal-Mart etc. They come in different themes like Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse etc. Only let her use it shen she has to go. That way she'll look forward to using it.

If you want to continue to use the regular potty, Another way might be the simple rewards. Pick a time frame to go without a accident, (remember to start small) Maybe a day at a time them after a while go a couple of days, and so on. Remember the reward dont have to be expensive or be eaten, it could be a inexpensive treat, or a toy, a walk with mom, a trip to the park. You want to give a little inspiration to want to do it more on her own.

Always remember to make a "big deal" about it. Constantly tell her what a big girl she is.

Just hang in there you'll be just fine.

M.

Hope this helps