Potty Training 2 Yr Old - Regression

Updated on May 01, 2009
A.S. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

I have a 2 yr old who I thought was potty trained. I keep getting mixed signals. We can easily go 2 weeks with no accidents at all. And then we'll go a week or 2 (or more) with EVERYTHING being an accident.
I really try to maintain calm and upbeat about the accidents, but it's getting old. It feels like it is all or nothing. When she's great, she is awesome! She can hold it up to an hour, wake up dry from naps and bed time, tell me when she needs to go etc.
When she's in accident mode, she refuses to go to the potty, will sometimes refuse to change out of her wet clothes and will say "NO GO POTTY" and then have an accident 2 minutes later.
Putting her back in diapers is not an option as she won't wear them now that she has realized big kid underwear is more comfortable. But the accident days are REALLY getting old and frustrating. Especially since I'm in my 8th month of pregnancy, I don't want to be dealing with hit or miss with a 2-yr old and a newborn! I understand to expect some regression when #2 is born, but the perfect weeks mixed with perfect misses are REALLY getting frustrated. None of the books talk to really dealing with these regressions.

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

R.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have suggestions about helping stick with it. I think it's good to try and not get upset about it (hard when pregnant--I know!).

I really like Bummis training pants. They're cloth but absorbent and have a PUL . They get very absorbent after at 10 washes so they get better with age. They'll catch a small/medium accident.

www.nickisdiapers.com sells them

They run big so a medium is probably a good size.

I wish I had spent the money on them instead of cheap solutions (which don't end up being cheap or don't work)

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son did this too, but just with the poop part. Made me crazy!! My husband came up with an idea that worked for us. He put one of our kitchen counter stools in the bathroom and put a puzzle on it. I thought it was nuts...and a little gross but it made the bathroom fun I guess. It gave my son a new reason to sit on the toilet. It took 2 days more of accidents and now we are back to normal! YEAH!! The minute we put him on the toilet he asks for the puzzle and we pull the stool up next to him. Now my 1 1/2 year old asks to go "pee-pee" because he wants to sit and do the puzzle :) Good luck.
J.

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

Frustration! On again off again. AAArg! No advice- just along for the same ride. I'm thinking my daughter might show some permanent interest this summer when it's HOT and sweaty. My girls seem to fight against me the harder I push. Good luck.

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M.I.

answers from Chicago on

I think right on target with your ideas. Three thoughts came mind:
1) constipation or urinary tract infection can make it uncomfortable to go; conversely,Urinary tract infection or diarrhea can make it difficult to hold.
2) as we scurry/nest for the impending #2 child, it's natural to give less attention to #1. Kids at this age like attention. ANY attention even negative. If you up the attention generally (sounds kind of crazy but goes like this "oh look how patiently you waited for me to get that book down for you ... How helpful you were when you carried your plate to the sink .... Picked things off the floor that mommy can no longer reach, etc" LOL. At first you'll feel like you sound wired, but pour it on thick so your child doesn't seek attn via toileting.
3) could be asserting power - use reverse psychology - act like you "don't care, but if you want to be able to go to school, swim in pool without diapers, etc ... You would have to be using the toilet all the time." That puts internal pressure on the child, not your external pressure, so there is no struggle between you. Now you've become the ally. You might even hear things like, "mom can you help me learn to use the big toilet all the time?" Really!
4) Peer pressure at your house- the BEST way to apply pressure is by having other kids come over and use YOUR kid's training toilet. Let your child watch even (not at all wierd @ this age). Go bananas with praise when that child does. Also feign talking about it with their mom within earshot. "oh mrs. Smith little Mary did so well using the toilet while she was here today -- she used it 2 times!" never mind if two more times were accidents -- praise the positive.
5) preschool - do it!! Starting at 2.5 years. I recommend for Lombard area - Co-op Nursery School ###-###-#### ext. 14 @ First Church of Lombard. Don't have to me fully toilet trained -- but willbe I guarantee by end of school year! The also have a one day/week program starting @ 14 months.
6) reward initiative - lots of books say don't reward with food - nonsense!! Its immediate and concrete. Got this idea from neighbor and it works: put two jars visible but inaccessible to child. One is m&m's,the other 1" red liquorice pieces. (Use whatever hits a chord with your child.) child gets one from first jar if they are able to make #1/#2, but (here's the genius) also one from 2nd jar if it was THEIR IDEA. So even if the child goes in and tries and it was their idea they get the second jar. Again, this takes away the struggle because they are pitted against their own interest in treats, not what you want (they think! ;-)
Good luck and as they always say, "don't worry ... Almost nobody ever goes to college in diapers." There really is an end to this phase.

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K.O.

answers from Springfield on

I have a 27 month old and he was 18 months when I had my second child. He did not regress a whole lot when the baby was born, but the problem I had was being so busy and tired with the newborn. I asked his dr about potty training and she suggested just holding off until 2 1/2.
I have started some training with him now that the baby is older but I think I will wait until summer (less clothes) to full force train him. I know you probably don't want 2 in diapers when the 2nd comes, but I would probably suggest just waiting until your little one gets used to the new baby being around and when you have more energy and patience. You are already tired from the pregnancy I am sure. Hope this helps some:)

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Put her on the potty after evey nap and sleep. After every drink she takes also that way her bladder doesn't have to get to the bursting point and she explodes. She's only 2. There are going to be accidents but not as many if YOU encourage her to squeeze out any little drops she can after a sippy cup or drink of water. Fruit and salads turn into water also; real quickly I might add so put her on the potty after those things also. Sit on the tub and keep her company in the bathroom during those extra trips to pee. You can run the water in the sink to promote her peepee. Have fun with her and keep up the encouragement. They need that.

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

A.
First congrats on number two! Potty training is a messy business. Regressions happen when new babies come and when mama is more tired,and changes in routine all of these can mess with potty training really young children. Make it clear that wet clothes get changed or there is a consequence like back to diapers. You could also try if your child is on the smaller side let her wear big kid underwear and rubber pants over so the wetness really is only in the undies. Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

This is totally not unusual. I had some similar issues with my youngest. I found that some of it was insecurity about growing up and being a big girl and some of it was that maybe mommy wouldn't be there to help. For you, you are compounded with the fact that she will have a sibling, which will take time. Keep reassuring and being loving and giving her grace. You may have to go to pull-ups (we did) and just let her work through it. Regressions will happen even when she is 3 or 4. They did with us, anyway. Some of it is just wanting to keep going and not takiing the time to potty because they may miss something. I found that just being there for her and being loving, it did all work out for us and our daughter was fine.

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M.J.

answers from Chicago on

I feel your pain. My oldest did this shortly after I had my 3rd son. So for awhile I had 3 in diapers.

I gave up on trying to get him to do it and made him wear diapers until he could do it ALL the time. I think he regressed because he wanted to have his diaper changed like everyone else. It lasted a few weeks and then he got tired of having to stop and go through all the work for a diaper change.

Your daughter might be doing it for the same reason, she wants some attention or maybe you potty trained her too early. I don't have any girls, so I don't know about potty training them, but I trained my oldest at 2 1/2 and he was the one who regressed. My other kids I trained at 3 and they never went back.

M.

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