Potty Trained 4 Year Old Having Several Accidents

My daughter is five and has minor accidents because she doesn't want to stop playing, I try not to make a big deal out of it, but I tell her that when school starts she will get teased if she has wet pants.

But, it sounds to me like your little one may be doing what mine did about 6 months after we potty trained-she had a massive "relapse" which is not uncommon. The biggest thing you can do is remember that if you freak out and shame or scold her it will just increase her anxiety and multiply the likelihood of her having an accident. When my daughter relapsed we started over, i kept quiet about accidents and told that she would get the hang of it and I gave her a sticker or treat every time she went potty without and accident-within a week we were back on schedule.

Now we just have her minor I don't want to go issues so we use a sticker chart at night an add "no accidents" as a reward. It usually helps tremendously.

Also, remember-everyone learns to control their body eventually.

Hi A.!

I went through this a bit with my kids, they're having fun and don't want to stop to go potty. You might remind her to go potty, tell her to pause the game, and that it'll be there waiting for her, just go and try to go potty.

My neice had a very hard time training because of this and they discovered she has sensory issues. I don't know a whole lot about it, but if you don't think it's a matter of her wanting attention or not wanting to stop for a quick break, talk to your doc about this. My s-i-l went through a whole lot to get a doc who believed what she was saying and could diagnose her issues, but with some occupational therapy she's doing lots better. I highly doubt this is the issue with your daughter though, my neice has been a handful since day 1, you'd know if there was something amiss with this kind of issue. Didn't want to scare you, just urging you to follow your gut.

Good luck!
D.

Hello A. W:

Your request about your daughter’s problem is serious and needs to be resolved. I felt very concerned about your anxiety to handle the situation.

I feel it is a psychological issue for your daughter. I also feel she is a healthy child, accidents are due to some reverse logical decision that she has come up with ( unconsciously ).

In the past I have experienced some 8 and 10 year old brothers doing the same. They were even going to school with the same problem.

Some doctors, finding you helpless will recommend ADD medicine for these patterns, which then becomes another problem.
You are the mother, and you have the energy, wisdom, patients, tricks, and tips ( from internet mamasource and etc) and time for your daughter. You can solve this problem for her.
Remember,TAKE A POSITIVE CALM REWARDING AND PROBLEM SOLVING APPROACH. Keep in mind you and your daughter together have to overcome this problem with a plan that you will make. Write that plan after careful thinking and follow it.
Think of your daughters likes and dislikes, what she want to do every day for fun the most.
It could be going to McDonald. It could be a toy, It could be a party for her to invite friends. It could be a DVD or whatever. Make that her reward, doesn’t have to be expensive. Have to be very satisfying and pleasurable to get for her.
Talk to your daughter, in a very happy, positive tone getting all of her attention. Tell her she is a good girl and you like all the things she is doing. Now bring up accidents and tell her that it is not so good for her, give her reasons, why is it bad? Tell her it is not clean and a good girl like her should always be clean. Clean girls look health and pretty…..whatever words you can use to make her feel better. Let her talk and express her feelings about this. Ask her why is she not going to potty by herself? You might find a reason. Then softly with love and affection tell her how you will get her this reward if she starts going potty. I am sure she will say yes to going to potty. Tell her again and again you will only get the reward when you are not making the accident.
Keep your cool and present a plan for overcoming this problem. For example tell her you will take her to the wash room every hour, so she always pee and poop in the potty. ( Just for one day you both can stay home), or whatever suits you. In a day when her mind and body is reconditioned to do so make it easy on her and yourself, and do the same every one and a half hour. Third day do the same for two hours. Make sure you go with her, have patients and keep cool. Once she is not able to go, give her some extra time. Remind her not to make an accident to get the reward.
I am sure your daughter will be back to normal.
It might seem hard to do, but it will not be hard to do, when you see the end result. Lot of extra work to clean up, being frustrated and above all to see you daughter back to normal is a big ha ha moment. It will make your daughter feel confident. It will make your daughter bound with you in a stronger way.
She will get a very important message, always go to mommy for problems.
During the first few days of the training, control everything negative around her, so learning is faster. If you like give her sticker and candy for reward every time she goes in the potty and praise her, hug her.
Your daughter is a very young child and is very adaptable to good behavior and therefore, she will be back to normal within week.
Hope this works

F. A
Oswego IL

We have had major issues with my 6 year old having the same issue. It usually revolves around when my husband and I are having issues. Kids can feel the tension whether you fight in front of them or not. My son was so bad at one time that he would poop his pants and sit in it until someone would smell it, he even got a "diaper rash". It was really horrible. He did it in public a few times. Now we have it under control for the most part. I took him to the Dr. when this originally happened because I thought he might had a spastic colon. I did call the nurse beforehand and told her I thought it was possibly an attention issue. Once my Dr. did the physical, he kind of scared my son a little bit by telling him about the tests that he would have to go through to get all better. My Dr. also recommended getting him magazines and books and putting them in the bathroom, plus picking a time everytime for him to go to the bathroom where he could spend as much time as he wanted in there (we picked 7 at night because we are almost always home around then, it's right before his shower, and the baby's bedtime so it was perfect for us). I literally tried everything, discipling, cleaning, making him pay me a dollar for every accident, and nothing worked until we set the times. Now the big difference is the only pee accidents we had was from him wetting the bed. I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know how aggrevating it can be. Just try to be supportive. A family member had an issue with her daughter, and she went back to the potty training basics. Sticker charts, no treats, no big girl panties, she made her wear diapers again, which was the worst thing ever to her daughter. IDK if any of this helps, but I hope it does! I'm really sorry about all this!