Potty Problems

You may have been potty "training" her for a year but she isn't "potty trained" if you still are having pooping issues...And she might not be for a few more months. Some kids get it while other kids get nervous because of all the pressure that is put on them (i.e. punishment). I know it's frustrating that you feel she's so close and your other children may have been easier to train but.....she may not be able to control this - even though she appears she can. If she doesn't start preschool this year, it's not a terrible thing. Just make bathroom time calmer, read a little, rewards given even for trying, make up a little song...anything to keep her feeling that she is succeeding. If she has a bit of a pattern for when she has bowel movements, you may want to consider sending her, but you are taking a chance that she could have an accident. Keep in mind, even those that have graduated potty training sometimes have accidents. I've seen kids have accidents in kindergarten and even first grade. Good luck.

We have just started potty training our son, although it's VERY casual - he goes each night before his bath, and every once in a while he lets us know he has to pee during the day. Today it was twice, at my sister's house on an actual toilet! But we are not to the point yet where your family is, so I can't offer any real advice. However, I just want to say that although I understand that at preschool, teachers just don't have the time to deal with diapers and accidents, I think it's so unfortunate that a child needs to be rushed and pressured to be ready to potty train just to be eligible for the experience to learn and develop with a group of other kids his or her age. I would feel so sad for your daughter if she were made to wait on preschool, just because her little body isn't ready to be completely potty-trained. I wish you the best, and I wish you the patience that I know I will need in the coming months. I'm sure your daughter will get there when she's ready. Good luck to you and I hope things sort themselves out soon!

You sound like you have done everything right so hang in there. She is probably really trying hard to please and eventually it will work out. The preschool will help you, too. Don't worry.

Our oldest used to "forget" she needed to go to the bathroom to use the potty and would poop in the middle of the family room floor. We think she was too busy to take the time to go to the bathroom and do the whole routine. We also tried darn near everything and just by chance came upon something that worked....mini chocolate chips in her bedtime yogurt snack. We told her if she went all day without an accident she could have chips in her yogurt. It worked like magic. In 2 days time she stopped having accidents. For some reason having the treat at the end of the day worked better for her than having a reward after each poop. She was getting 4 M&M's for going poop---maybe it had lost its novelty, I don't know but getting less chocolate once a day did work. We also made sure to help her during the day by reassuring her she wouldn't miss anything if she went to the bathroom. You said you've tried rewards maybe try a different type or timing of reward...maybe a bigger reward instead of littler ones. It seemed like trial and error for us.

Second kid used to go behind a chair, poop, and then take it out of her pull ups and hand it to us. Wonderful. What worked for her was Grandma. Grandma came to take care of her for a day, put her in panties instead of pull ups and she was potty and poop trained that day. No accidents, no handing her the poop, nothing. Strange. Maybe have a relative sit while you go out and see what happens. Good Luck!!!

My son has rarely had a poop accident since he turned 2, maybe 3 accidents, though i'm probably jinxing myself now, lol. I learned early on that my son tends to poop most in the morning, so every day he is on the potty & poops while I shower & get ready. He has some books & little toys that are ONLY for poop time, so it has never been a negative time for him. He can't poop if he is tense, or rushed, so this routine works well for me. Most mornings I also give him raisins about a 1/2 hour before shower time. He loves them & it helps ward off any constipation. I hope things get easier for you. It's a frustrating thing.

Hi A.,
Reading your letter, I was wondering how much of a big deal is being made around this. We just got done introducing our son to the potty (he's 3 1/2), and the whole process for us took about 5 months. Once I knew he knew how to do it though, I just tried to stay off his case. If he went in his pants, I would just say- well, you'll do a better job next time and leave it at that. Its tough because who wants to clean up poop, but its all part of the process. My suggestion is to just leave her alone about it. When she's ready to be a big girl, she'll go. I think that prek will help alot too- all those other little ones going...and the small pottys. :)
Does she have a little potty or are you trying to have her go on the big potty? If its the latter, perhaps she's afraid of it. Try getting her a step stool so she has something to put her feet on while she's sitting- if you don't have a small potty, that is. Falling into the potty was a very real scare for me as a little one- perhaps she worries about this as well. I hope that helps.
blessings,
J.

I think I would think twice about sending her to preschool until you have solved this problem. She will not get the one on one assistance a preschool like she gets at home. I think you need to just keep working at it and talk to her about if she wants to be a big girl and go to school she will need to use the bathroom on her own. Of course that can work in reverse, if she does not want to get to preschool.

Good Luck

If you have her on any type of feeding schedule at all, you can put her on the potty the same time she "goes poo" every day. Give her a book and sit with her. You can even read to her in there. Kids go pretty much like clockwork every day. Just so long after eating and for sure first thing in the morning. Make sure you praise her with exuberance, hugs, kisses, etc. Good luck mommy