So a little over a month ago I began baby sitting my niece full time. We didn't get to see each other much before, just a few hours every month or so. She turned 3 in February and seems to me and my husband to have some sort of dely. Her mother doesn't see anything wrong, she just thinks her daughter is still young and treats her somewhat like an infant. My biggest concern about my niece is that she cannot answer question. Some she can but most of the time if you ask her a question she just copies what's say. It's like she doesn't understand how to respond or what you're asking. She is very limited in her ability to speak clearly, but my kids did speech therapy and I think it would help her too. However that's another thing her mother doesn't think she needs. Literally sounds like gibberish when she talks. I just would like her to start whatever occupational therapies my niece may need as early as possible since I know it will help her.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced a child who only copies what your asking and has a hard time communicating and what, in your experience, it may be?
Also, how would you go about speaking to your SIL about devolpmental concerns about her child?
Thanks everyone! If this sounds rude or anything, not meanin for it to, just trying to keep it shorter and to the point
Ok, originally I figured I'd just leave it be and let a teacher bring it up to her in the future if my niece is still having issues. My husband was the one who wanted me to talk to his sister (since I'm the one who watches my niece). I had told him that if my niece continues to have issues once she's in school then teachers will discuss it with SIL and come up with an evaluation plan. I just wasn't sure if that was the best solution, but hearing that's what everyone suggests, that's what I'll do. Just do what I can with my niece and leave the rest alone. Thanks everyone for your input!
Repeating others speech is called echolalia. If that is all she does, she sounds delayed but I don't think there is a thing you can do. Good luck though.
If the mom won't listen to you, then perhaps encourage her to put her DD in preschool or preK where someone else will be able to see her and help decide if there is a bigger issue.
Were it my SIL? I'd ask her if she's had DD's hearing checked (a good place to start that doesn't immediately suggest a learning issue and may be more easily accepted) because she sounds unclear when speaking and may not be hearing clearly. The doctor could then bring up any other concerns he/she sees at that evaluation.
You can't. Maybe if you were a speech therapist you could. But otherwise, it's not going to work.
More than likely, if/when she starts pre-school/daycare, if she's still having the challenges, someone will let mom/dad know.
I think this needs to be between her parents, her pediatrician and in future maybe her teacher(s).
A lot of kids at 3 yrs old don't speak clearly.
It's not up to you to diagnose anything.
When you baby sit her, read to her - anything Dr Seuss will do (try Fox in Socks (even I can't say that out loud clearly without practicing a few times) and play with tongue twisters with her. - keep it fun.
Perhaps it's genetic.
Either way, I wouldn't say a word to my sister in law about her kid. No way. That's a touchy subject and I'm going to stay the heck out of it. Eventually, a preschool teacher or gradeschool teacher will point it out, or your SIL will figure it out on her own.
Hi Shanelle,
I agree with the two posts below. One question..is she a first born or only child? My niece didn't speak until she was almost three because her older brother did all the talking for her....why should she bother when she's getting all her needs met without drawing a breath to speak.. :-)
I don't have enough info re: your SIL to post an opinion but it sounds like she's just like every other protective mother in the world. You could try mentioning something in passing but I would work with your niece while you're with her, like stated below, and see how things work out over the next fiew months.
You know at that age, they turn corners unexpectedly all the time and the baby you put down the night before is a completely different person the next morning. Loved those toddler years. :-) best of luck!! S.
You really cannot convince a parent to seek even an evaluation if they think there is nothing wrong with their child. My inlaws spoke babytalk to their youngest until he was 4. I heard about it when he was 2 but when I saw it for myself when he was 3 1/2, I could not believe it. They did not do that with the other 2 kids. He did have speaking issues. He dos have some issues and mail has come from school regarding educational plans so think they finally got on board with it.
Since you do sit with her, talk to her as you normally would. Read and speak and encourage her to answer you with words.
Her mother is the problem. You can't talk baby talk to your child and expect him/her to develop at a normal rate. You also have to have conversations with your child to teach him/her how to talk and respond. Reading aloud to your child also helps him/her to learn language skills.
As you are babysitting try a few of the things I mentioned and see if it helps. It won't be an overnight change but she should develop language skills over the next few months.
I suggest you find a local Head Start that the child can start in. If she's lower income that is. They don't have to be broke poor but the income levels for a small family isn't at poverty level.
If she can get into a regular classroom setting and around other kids her age and start seeing them talking and how they act she will do a lot of things like imitating them and if she has the ability she'll catch up really quickly.
If she has a DELAY then she'll be an obvious sore thumb and stick out to the teachers. They have special training when they work with pre-school ages to notice delays and know ways to mention it to the parents.
If you tell this mommy that something is wrong with her precious baby you'll be an unwelcome messenger and she'll find someone else.
Also, new goal. Pre-K is next fall, she needs to be enrolled in her local school by February, enrollment will likely start in January.
You don't do anything!
what's with your husband? she's his sister. why can't he speak to her? sounds pretty wimpy to shove it off on you.
if he doesn't want to, let it go. most parents are going to react poorly to someone criticizing their kid or their parenting. (you may think you're not, but you say she 'thinks her daughter is still young and treats her somewhat like an infant', so clearly you think parenting plays into it.)
some bad news needs to come from professionals who aren't emotionally invested. if indeed there's a problem, the pediatrician, or eventually the school, will let them know.
khairete
S.
Hi, I think this is called Echolalia - it's when children echo back what the person has said. So if for example you said "Does Timmy want to watch a show?" Timmy would say "Timmy want to watch a show".
That's very typical of some kids until age 2 or so. As they develop their vocabulary, they can answer without echoing the original question back. Some kids have sayings they like to say as a response - every time.
There are a few reasons for it - it's only a problem I think if it continues and they can't speak without echoing what was said. Or if they don't know the actual words to reply to someone - so they have to rely on saying it back to them.
Age 3 isn't too much past where this typically changes ... but if you're that concerned, your husband could mention it to his sister (I wouldn't get involved if I were you - that never goes over well). But all kids learn at different stages - you could model to her when you watch her how to answer. Without making a big deal about it. So if you said "Is it a nice day out today?" and she said "Nice day out today" you could say "It is very sunny!". Books help too.
Good luck :)
** My sister pointed out that she felt my son couldn't hear and she picked it up before the pediatrician did. I didn't resent her in the least. It's how you say it that matters. But best left to between family and said out of love (leave parenting out of it).
See if she is willing to get her evaluated and get her into speech....It can only help !!!
Kids should be able to speak a few word combos by age 2+....
Has her hearing been checked?
History of ear infections?
I love the book "Touchpoints" for information
Has your niece been to a pediatrician lately ?
