Poo-Poo Training...

Updated on August 09, 2006
A.S. asks from Kansas City, MO
17 answers

My son is almost 4 and has mastered the art of peeing in the potty. What we haven't mastered is how to make it to the toilet when we have to poop or understand, anyway, that the bowel movement goes into the toilet and not in the pants. Any suggestions? This is becoming a very gross mess to deal with!

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S.

answers from Kansas City on

A.: You have been given some great advice here. I will tell you that my son got the pee part down fast but was afraid of the poop part. So he would wear underwear and then tell us he needed a diaper to poop. He was generally scared of pooping in the potty! But, one day while at Target, he spotted a truck he wanted and I told him if he pooped in the potty all week we would come back and get it. He never pooped in diapers again. Maybe a big reward would work for you son. Good luck and hang in there he will get it!!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

What we ended up having to do with my 3 year old was (since it was warm enough) have him go around the house naked and tell him that if he pooped or peed on the floor he was going to clean it up. It worked! He didnt have a single accident because he didnt want to clean it up! We kept it up for 2 weeks then slowly got him in pants again. HTH

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M.R.

answers from Charlottesville on

We just went through the same thing with my daughter, who will be 3 in October. I started catching her when she was trying to poo and racing to the bathroom to put her on the potty in time. After doing that for a few days, and continually telling her "Don't poop in your underwear", she now consistently poops on the potty (knock on wood!!!).
I tried the pullups, but even though it lets kids feel when they are wet, they're too much like diapers to work for my daughter. What finally worked was buying several pairs of training underwear and putting her in those all day long. If she wet her underwear, we just put her in another pair. There were days that we'd go through 9 pairs of underwear in one day, but it was worth it!

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My younger son was hesitant on this part, too. Thinking it was anxiety/fear, I explained in detail what happened when you pooped on the potty - complete with sound effects. He thought the "splash" part was pretty cool, but he was still hesitant. So I kept telling him how cool it was when the poop went splash in the toilet, and he finally tried it. I was sitting in the bathroom with him when he finally did it, and he had the biggest grin when it splashed! lol

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

Hi A.. My name is S.. I have three kids and two are potty trained. My son, Hunter, took awhile to get the poop thing down. The things you want to look for is "the poop face". When you start catching him doing that quickly get him to the bathroom. When he does his duty in the toilet make it a HUGE DEAL. Jump up and down get really excited. Heck even a sticker chart works. We hung up a piece of paper in the bathroom and everytime he went to the bathroom, potty or poop, we would let him hang up a sticker. Now if he didn't make it in time we wouldn't scold him we would take him to the bathroom dump the mess into the toilet and tell him that is where his poo poo goes. Things that helped him is for instance when my husband would go to the bathroom my son would go with him and sit on the potty chair. That helped alot. He felt like a really big boy doing what daddy is doing. Even if he didn't need to go just giving him the idea was helping. I had watched a show by Dr. Phil, and we only used this idea after our son knew better, he talked about taking the important toys away. Then we he started doing the good deeds you reward him with his "important toys". It worked for us tremendously. If he decided to stop doing his deed in the potty you start taking the "important toys" away from him again. He will start getting the idea. I hope I have helped you in some way. Good luck and remember to keep smiling it will get better.

S.

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T.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Wish I could give you some advice, A.. But I'm kind of in the same boat. My 2 year old daughter has got #1 in the potty down but will not go #2. In fact if she pees then decides she has to poop she tells me to put her pullup back on. I feel for you. Just know you're not alone. Good luck!

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K.J.

answers from Enid on

Well I don't know if you caught the supper nanny last night but she was teaching parents how to potty train. She suggested that you reward them with a sticker everytime they went to the bathroom. I know bribery is not also was good. But if it works it is better than picking up the mess. You can check me out on myspace. K. Barnes Woodward Okla.
K.

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R.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I am also having problems with toilet training my daughter. She doesn't want to do either function by herself. My family doctor recommended that for a boy or girl to turn them around on the toilet so they are facing the tank and give them something special to play with that they only get to play with while they are doing their business. The theory is part positive reinforcement and he says for some kids it is just to precarious of a position to focus on balancing themselves and taking care of business. We haven't tried this yet but she goes to pre-school in 3 weeks and I am desperate.

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D.M.

answers from Wichita on

Hi A.!
I also have an almost 4 yr old son named Aidan who has the exact same problem!!! He will be 4 in November and has had pee control for 6 months, never had accidents or wet the bed. He refuses to poop in the potty or even try to. He wears underwear all day and night and only poops at home. He insists on wearing a pullup, so he takes his shorts & undies off & puts it on himself. Of course, I have to clean it up when he's done, but it's better than ruining underwear.

We've tried bribes, rewards, sticker charts, reasoning, and modeling and nothing changes his mind. What I've read about potty training says not to push them and to let them do it when they are ready. So we are giving him some space to decide that he is ready to do it.

Hang in there! They have to figure it out eventually! :)

D.

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A.V.

answers from Peoria on

A.,
I had the same problem with my now 4 year old. He was afraid of falling ino the toilet and would hold it until he was constipated. I went out and bought a potty seat that fits on the toilet seat - ours is Backyardigans - and a stool so his legs don't dangle. Now when he has to go he takes his Leapster with him and spends 20+ minutes on average in the bathroom, playing and taking care of business.

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M.B.

answers from Topeka on

Dear A., I can sympathize with you, my only advice would be what we did with our youngest who is going to be 4 in two days. We let him go potty out side to help him with learning to control that aspect (we sort of live out away from the neighbors)so he was naked alot cause it made it easier for him(not me, I was embarassed) but he pooped in the yard a couple of times and figured out it was kinda cool and now he likes to poop in the toilet and he has to look at it right afterwards like pride lol. He does like me to hold his hand on occasion because it is alot of work sometimes and he needs comfort. My son also didn't like the feeling of poopy underwear so maybe the naked thing helped because he didn't want to poop on the floor or his underwear. GOOD LUCK!
M.

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S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My son is 3 and I use rewards. For example, candy, toys, stickers or at times a Happy Meal. I also, make a big deal about it when he does use the potty. I cheer, give high fives, and sing ( a little weird ) but, it works. Maybe this will help you and your little one. Good Luck!

S.

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D.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,

Watching Supernanny on TV has helped my husband and I a lot. You might consider watching a few episodes. Also, the Johnson County Library has a book of hers. Here's some info. copied and pasted from their site.

Happy Parenting,

D.

Supernanny : how to get the best from your children
Frost, Jo.

Summary
Jo Frost, a.k.a. SuperNanny, is the answer to every stressed-out parent's dreams. In Abc's upcoming primetime tv series by the same name, Jo works miracles on problem children by dispensing hard-won wisdom and reassuring us that parents really do know best. The SuperNanny method gives parents the know-how to tackle problem areas such as mealtime, bath time, bedtime, bedwetting, homework, sibling rivalry, aggressive behavior, or a child who just won't do what he or she is told to do. Divided into action-oriented problem and solution sections, SuperNanny will show parents how to restore harmony and authority in the home using the SuperNanny's ten basic rules.

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R.S.

answers from St. Joseph on

My son (now 5 1/2) was the same. I think it was becuase this one takes more time - the child literally has to stop and be patient - quite a tall order for kiddos. So many good suggestions here already - we tried trips to the mcd's playland, treats for success - we called uncles and aunts and grandparents when we had success! - basically just paying a lot of attention to success. We made a point of telling when we were going to 'do that' so he knew big people do too. Distracting him while he was sitting there by playing games and singing song (we made up our own) - and then celebrating when we got to watch the poopie go on the flushie ride! Be creative - if it's fun and relaxed it will help. Most of all trust that in time, he'll figure it out - it's frustrating for adults, but children don't need to feel that frustration. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
What a distressing thing to have happen! I'm sure it is frustrating for both of you. Since I work with kids and families a lot and teach lots of educational classes, I'm wondering a few things which might help me give you suggestions. Feel free to reply to this posting, or, if you prefer, you can email me at ____@____.com and we can discuss this more privately. I wanted to make sure and, first of all, say that although inconvenient, this is not developmentally inappropriate. Kids develop at different rates and since he has already mastered one part of potty training, the second part will likely come along as well. Email me more about your son (i.e. is he developmentally on-target, does he get regular check-ups by his pediatrician, etc.) and let's see what we can come up with!

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R.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Ok you are going to think I am a mean, crazy *B* but I had a major problem of the same nature... I was told by a child proffessional (whom I temporarily wrote off after they told me this until I tried it out of desperation and it worked) So... I was told to sit down and have a discussion with my child and tell her that it was time that she start wearing panties and that it was going to be her responsibility to keep herself clean. I explained that if she pee-peed in her panties that she was to take the wet panties off, put them in her dirty clothes and get a new pair of dry panties. I explained to her that if she poo-pooed in her panties she was also going to be responsible for cleaning herself up. When she went poo-poo, I told her, "Ok, let me show you what I you need to do to clean yourself." I showed her how to take her panties and flush the poo-poo off and set them aside on a baggie, then how to clean her bootie up. She was HORRIFIED! She thought it was so entirely gross. But the next time she pooped, I left her the responsibility and I only verbally instructed her. That was the end of it. She poo-pooed in the potty from there on out and only occassionally asked for help with wiping. It was very successful.

Hope this helps...

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S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi there! I believe positive encouragement can be very helpful in a frustrating situation like this one. With both of my kids, my daughter who is 9 and my son that's 2, I made "Potty Charts." For my daughter I drew a trail made of squares (like Candyland) and she filled one square with a sticker each time she went. After she reached the end of the trail, we gave her a special treat. It could be something like pizza and a movie, or a trip to the park, something your child will want to work toward! Hope this helps ya!

Shana O.

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