Please Tell Me My 3Yr Olds Behavior Is Normal

Updated on June 07, 2009
S.O. asks from Riverside, CA
13 answers

Hi, i have a 3 year old daughter who is very sweet and has a lot of energy. I think her energy level is comletely normal for her age. She is able to sit and watch a movie, listen to a book or play with a toy for a short period of time. my mother suggested that we see if there is a "diagnosis" for her "hyperactivity" at times. My daughter is a sleeper, she sleeps very well and it is not a fight to get her to go down. But, on occasion when she misses her naps or is up late she is a live wire! Bouncing of the walls and is hard to slow down. But once she stops and goes to bed or gets in the carseat, she is out in no time flat! I have read online (I know you cant always trust what is online) that this is normal for some children and that some kids have been misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD because of this. I just want some other moms experiences. Thanks so much

1 mom found this helpful

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S.A.

answers from Honolulu on

I think it is normal! I know my daughter is wayyy harder to put down for sleep when she is "over-tired". If I put her down at the first sing of sleepiness though - no problem!

IMO, ADD/ADHD is way over diagnosed. I think many kids who are on medication don't really "need" to be - they just need to be put in sports or something! LOL anyways, kinda off topic here, but that's just my opinion ;)

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

<Laughing> Normal, normal, normal, normal.

I'm actually rather grateful that my son fell into category "B" (wired but generally happy when tired) rather then category "A" (cranky when tired).

And, as someone who HAS adhd (could darn well be the posterchild), I have to agree 100% with Sophie. Adhd is massively over diagnosed, and then to further compound the problem; massively over medicated. The next "it" diagnoses, child psychiatrists are warning the public not to buy into hook line and sinker, is bipolar disorder. So if you hear EITHER adhd, or bipolar, be very very leery.

Two more things to think about:

1) The qualities we admire in adults are more often then not the same ones that we beat out of our children. Ahem. Figuratively speaking. In an adult high energy & vitality are praised, in children it's hyperactivity. Knowing their own mind v. sassy, Quick witted v talking back, Stubborn v Determined, Doesn't Listen v Focused and Intent.... etc. etc. etc.

2) Natural athletes tend to have quite a bit more "energy", especially when viewed against the backdrop of other children. IMHO, it's not ACTUALLY energy, but a fascination with how their bodies move and what they can do with them next. All children though, are in the process of discovering how their bodies work, and boy oh boy do they do some cray-zay things. Experiments in physics aka "If I leap of the couch with my eyes closed, what happens? Eyes open? One eye? With slightly more pressure with my left foot? While singing? Oops...sorry puppy. With socks on/off, etc. etc. etc. etc." All children have this. That and what appears to be a delayed pain reaction. If you've got a natural athlete on your hands though, be prepared for that phase to continue pretty much forever. Medical insurance is key...every athlete I've ever met has broken at least a few bones. Not usually in their sports...but in their "Gee I wonder if I..." pursuits.

And... if it makes you feel any better... one of the hallmarks of adhd is iNTENSE concentration. Literally hours at a time. If someone with ADHD is interested in something it's durn well near impossible to pull them away or get their attention. I've known small children with adhd who easily spend 3-7 hours hyperfocused on a single thing (ignoring all others, including fires). Adults will often spend 12-36 hours hyperfocused. Another name for the disease could well be "Absent minded professor syndrome". Yes, they can never find their glasses, but they've somehow managed advanced degrees and have become an expert in their field. That's one of the many upsides, btw. Medication squashes it, but will make sure you aren't 5 minutes late. Or, ahem, go off on tangents like this one ;)

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Egad, tell your Mom to relax!
A 3 year old is active and your girl is NORMAL!
ALL or most kids do this, at certain times of the day, or depending on their mood/their energy level/what they just ate etc. JUST LIKE an adult.

Also, when a child is "over-tired" they MANY times actually get more "hyper." This is what over-tired kids do. Then, that is why your daughter falls asleep in no time flat.
Both my kids do that same thing.
They get SO active and "wired" at certain times of the day... BUT, I know they are actually quite tired. SO the moral is: you have to make sure your child REGULARLY naps... at this age they still need it. When both of my kids are TIRED, they get SO HYPER! "Over-tired" does NOT make kids drowsy and quiet or mellow... it actually makes them agitated/fussy/hyper and bouncing off walls. Naps helps a child to regulate themselves and their disposition too.

ALSO, some kids go through what is called the "witching hour." And this is when, at a certain time of the day, kids just get MORE active/alert/hyper... my kids, do that in the evening from about 4:00-6:30, roughly. EVERYDAY. Its their pattern.

Anyway, your child is normal.
Tell your Mom, don't worry.... ALL KIDS have BURSTS of energy throughout the day.... no need to over-analyze it and immediately send your child to the therapists couch.

All the best,
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

it sounds normal! my 2year old gets the same way with out a nap. its like theor adrinaline wakes them up like ours does when w are tired and have things to do. i would suggest add/adhd if she couldnt sit through a 30 minute show let alone a movie. i woldnt have her tested by a specialist for add/adhd till shes in school and her teachers are saying she has lack of concentraition, having trouble remebering things and cant sit still etc. i think shes just fine though!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ok she is normal! :) Actually I think that she is "perfect"... I'd be more worried if she was sitting in front of the tv for hours on end. I've worked with ADD/ADHD children and she doesn't (based on what you've told me) strike me as such.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from San Diego on

Completely Normal! Our three year is the exact same. No worries, be thankful that she is a good sleeper!

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think your Mom needs a "diagnosis" ;)

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo normal! (-:

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Normal.
Good luck

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R.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have four daughter's and a baby on the way. My eldest daughter is 15...youngest 2.5. Your daughter's behavior sounds perfectly normal to me. My daughter who is 2.5 sounds exactly like your daughter. When she doesn't take a nap, she is often bouncing off the walls and full of energy... it's made me say to myself...Im to old for this...I also work with adolescents and find that they over diagnose ADD and ADHD and medicate children unnecessarily...I say don't worry...enjoy your daughter's energy and zest for life...when she's older you'll wish things were so simple...Good Luck

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J.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi, Your daughter sounds pretty normal to me and my 3 year old son. Maybe you just need to skip the nap and she'll go to be earlier and not be wired at night. My son is very active all day from 7am-8pm with no nap. He wants to stay busy and play all day long. He does get a little hyper when my husband comes home only because he is so excited to see him.
I think your daughter is completely normal.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,

My son isn't like this, so this is only second hand knowledge, but I have a friend whose son sounds just like your daughter (except he's two). He bounces off the walls and then falls right asleep. One minute totally awake, the next minute, BAM - he's ready to be out! I say it's completely normal and more of a personality thing than any medical issue. Whereas her son is a real people person and a total clown, my son would prefer to lay on the ground and play with cars. My son is also more cautious and shy, BUT it's also harder to get him to go to sleep. Never once has he played so hard that he just passes out. I WISH! And my friend sometimes wishes her son would just play quietly on the floor. We always want what we don't have, right? ;)

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S., I'm not a doctor, but i have been a mom for 25 years and a daycare provider for 12, and it sounds to me like you have a normal healthy 3 year old little girl. If she's bouncing off the walls, and you can tell her to settle down and she does, or if she tires after a full day of romping and playing you have a normal 3 year old. The way the things are today, if a child doesn't sit still for more than 5 minutes they want to classify them as ADD or ADHD. I wouldn't worry at this point, later on if you feel there's something there then for peace of mind you can get her checked, but i believe there are to many children out there on mecications that don't need to be. J.

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