Please Help, Toddler/Baby in Same Room Sleep Issues

M.,

What about putting the baby in a pack n play somewhere else - or will she just climb out?

I agree with the gate idea too, however it doesn't stop the night waking/getting out of bed. I would come up with some reward that she REALLY loves to see if that will motivate her to "roll over and go back to sleep". She's old enough to understand that it makes Mommy, Daddy and sister "sad" when she wakes them at night. Give her some "big girl" reward, that doesn't involve baby sister...lunch out with Mom or Dad? Running errands without the baby? A special video loaned from the library? (i.e. t.v. time) We've been through this and consistency is the key.

I love how sometimes the Dads have ideas, but don't have to go through getting up all the time to help out. You need to make sure you "tag team" with your husband. Let him take the little one, and you enforce bedtime rules with your older daughter.

Consistency is the key. Stick to your guns. YOU need to show her that her screaming and carrying on is NOT acceptable, nor will you give in.

Good luck!

Since you sound like a mom who can handle tough love in this situation--and your husband is on board. I would put up the gate--unless they will just climb over. Otherwise close/lock the door. As long as you have the baby monitor on you know they are safe. Also I am not an advocate of spanking but I will say it only took two and my oldest stayed in his bed all night. My middle child never got out of bed because his big brother didn't. They have always shared a room. If that seems too tough have a sleeping bag in your room that if they show up they can sleep in. That being said my 3 year old daughter has started showing up lately also and she does have the capacity to yell for hours so the lock the door did not work. Luckily when she climbs in bed with us she is so tiny that we all fall asleep--if we didn't she would have the bag on the floor.

Just something that is a bit different than the otehr posts...

We had the same problem, and I believe for us the problem stemmed from my daughter just simply missing the time she used to have with mommy to herself. The battles are not worth it to me. I love my time with my children, and I can respect that she misses our time that we used to have. When she climbs into bed, I let her, but when she falls asleep I bring her back to her bed, so we can all sleep. SHe doesn't mind waking up in her own bed, it's getting back to sleep. It also turns out, when she started doing it, she was teething as well. I was happy to have been there for her.

I do believe this is for her emotional well-being. I am not getting as much sleep as I would like, but I also think she is much more cooperative during the day when I need to attend to her baby brother as a result.

I would also add that I remember as a child sleeping with my mom a lot as my parents were going through a divorce. But then when we moved and the divorce was final, I went right back to sleeping in my own bed. In retrospect, I think that just gave me the extra security I needed. I was 4 at the time.

Just another point of view.

We have 2 sharing a room too, though younger (3 and 16 months). There have been days when my baby has sleep issues and then I will allow my older child into our bed for the rest of the night if it gets really bad. (and when we had several days of sleep training with the baby he was allowed to "camp" in our room in his sleeping bag on the floor - very novel!)

I think the gate is what you will need to do. If your older child is anything like mine, she's probably very concerned that her little sister stays in her room. So that's always a threat you can use "you need to be quiet and go to sleep in your own bed or I'm going to move your sister's crib into our bedroom and you'll be all alone". In fact, you might consider doing that for a few days while you sleep train your older child. When my son first moved into a big kid bed he wanted to have someone in the room while he fell asleep. He was only 20 months at the time, but it took 3 nights to straighten him out, which I did by putting up a gate and every 5, then 10, then 15 minutes (repeat every 15 minutes until done) I would return him to his bed, say "time for sleeping", and leave. The first night it took 1:45 and he fell asleep by the gate. Second night took 20 minutes and he fell asleep in bed. Third night he was asleep within 5 minutes. The key with all sleep issues is consistency. I say suck it up and just deal with the problem and it will be better in no time.

I have a 5 year old and a 20 month old in the same room and I've had the same problem you're having. My 5 year old will scream and cry at bedtime or when we send him back to his room in the middle of the night. Sometimes he screams so loud that I'm surprised he doesn't wake the neighbors up...however, my 20 month old sleep though it. I don't know how, but he does. Also, if the baby wakes up...he's very quick to go back to sleep.
I follow the advice of "choose your battles" so if/when my 5 year old comes into our room and wants in our bed, I tell him no, but I let him sleep on the floor next to the bed. Is it the right thing to do...probably not. But my husband and I both work and everybody has to get up in the morning. So instead of disruping my sleep, my husband's sleep, and the baby's, I let him sleep on the floor...choose your battles!
However, I agree with the previous poster that you have to be consistent. You will probably have a couple of rough nights but once your older child figures out you mean business, things should fall into place. Good luck!

I had the same problem and we put a gate at the door. We only had to do this long enough for him to realize that we meant business when we say it's bedtime. Now if he gets out of bed, we jsut ask him if we need to put the gate up. That usually works now.