Play Dates - Sebastopol,CA

I think parents should be involved in coordinating playdated when kids are this young to keep them involved with other kids as well as teaches them social skills by example. most likely she will develop some strong bonds with other kids through having consistent playdates. my daughter 13 now has always been shy and I think it helped her to coordinate playdates. as she gets older it won't be necessary.

Hi. well first id like to say that as a child i was extremly shy. and the more i was pushed to play with other kids i wasnt sure about or put around people i didnt no i would clam up worse. then as i hit about 10 or 11 i started to relax. its a fear of unacceptance and its hard to over come. my daughter is also very shy but mostly to guys. she warms up to women alot easier. i have learned with her that she will open up at her own pace dont push her or it may back fire. Maybe set up a play date every once in a while where her little brother can be there too. Maybe if he is there with her she wont feel so uncomfortable since she is use to being herself around him. Have it where its her him and on friend maybe. this can be a difficult situation so goodluck and hope things work out. and hope this helps u some

I'd ask her what she feels comfortable with and then provide a few suggestions. If there's a local park/playground she likes, maybe suggest "would you like to meet _____ 's family at the park (or library, or school playground) on Saturday morning?" (or ask what she thinks of the idea of a "family group playdate" where you ask a few friends and their families if they'd like to meet up at the playground/park for an hour or two - if the friends have older or younger siblings, this can be a good setup b/c then the parents don't have to worry about setting up a playdate for the other kids) As someone who is pretty shy myself and mom to one shy 8YO (*and* another 8YO who's much more social), I find that shyer folks often feel more relaxed when the playdate is at a park or playground, instead of at someone's house.

I think you can ask her about any interest to have friends over, but in general follow her lead. If she's social at school and gets invited to parties, that's great. if she seems happy with how things are, that's great too. Don't worry too much about setting stuff up, especially against her will or behind her back, unless she expresses some desire to branch out. My kids are like that too sometimes -- 20 months apart and happy to play in their own world. Then sometimes my daughter gets a princess itch and needs to see girls, and my son gets jealous and wants boy play. But they let me know when they want it. Check in with her about it every once in a while, but generally I would say don't fix what ain't broke ;)

Try having the play date on neutral territory; my kids and I went to brunch with a friend of mine and his 18 month old son, while B's mom went and got a spa treatment. After brunch, we went to the Hands on Museum in Ann Arbor (it's a children's museum that they can touch everything) It was great, both my kids and B had fun, and were completely worn out (not that my kids who are 3 and almost 4.5 took a nap) but B slept longer than usual which meant his dad got a break. lol

I think it depends a lot on her. Talk with her about how she feels and act accordingly. Play dates also don't have to be with her friends at school. Does she have cousins or other friends that could be invited over? Find out from her who she would like to play with as well as simply if she would like to have play dates. Also get both her and her brother out from time to time. You say you live in a remote area. I lived by myself on a farm growing up, and had only myself and the farm animals. When I was seven, my sister was born, then a brother when I was 11. They gave me someone to play with, but on a much different level than with kids my age. We had neighbors up the road with a daughter a year younger than me, and I occasionally went to her house to play, but I don't feel I missed out on a lot. The one difference it made in my life was that my social interactions when I went to high school were probably not as good as those of kids who had been around others more. For that reason, I think it's good that you find ways to get both of your children into some sort of interaction with other kids their ages. Perhaps there are some sports or other group activities that you could enroll them in that would be of interest and give them the opportunity to interact with other children.

I wouldn't really push it. You might ask on occasion hey, would you like to have so-and-so over to play this weekend? but if she says no, then okay. it's great that she and her brother like playing together so much!

I think you should arrange the play dates occasionally. My children were the opposite at that age, they craved having friends over and never have been very content to play on their own. So maybe that makes me not the best person to answer ;)

But I think having friends over frequently was a great thing. It's joyful to see children playing happily with their friends, and I think it helps develop their people skills too. The friendships my children developed in those early grades have been a blessing now that they're a bit older. (daughter in high school, 10-year-old son) It's good to establish friendships at this young age, when they'll play with just about anybody. Later they get more set on certain people, and it's confidence building to have those special friendships in place.

Wow, siblings who PLAY together? Count your blessings. Your kid sounds fine. Don't worry.