Peanut Butter Advice?

M.,

With all due respect, please follow the wishes of your daughter in law. With all the advise and critisim mom's get, we really only do what we think is best for our kids. If she is not ready or is following advise from a doctor it is best to respect her wishes. Also, my nephew didn't have a reaction to PB the fisrt time he had it but he did end up getting one, a slight one, but he cannot eat it at all now.

Believe it or not this is somewhat true. There is a good web site. Its www.mayoclinic.com/health/food-allergy/AA00067. Or just google peanut allergies before age 2. The actual reccomended age is 3. Good Luck.

Your grandson may really love peanut butter, but in my opinion, it's not worth the risk of having a peanut allergy. Hold off until your daughter is ok with it. We have friends who have a child with a peanut allergy and it has really opened our eyes to the problem and how complicated it can be. Do you know how many things are made with peanuts or are made on the same equipment as peanuts? A LOT! So, listen to your daughter-in-law, abide by her wishes (after all he is her child, not yours), and just give your grandson a different snack.

I'm no Doctor, but I read something that put me on the no peanut bandwagon. Because of all the processed food we eat, we use a lot of peanut oil in food, this did not used to be the case. Little ones bodies have a hard time with the protein in nuts. If you give them too much, their little bodies will build up an allergy to it. Hope that helps.

Our doctor gave the same advice so we waited until our kids were 2+. We have a family history of allergies and a peanut allergy is pretty tough to live with. Peanut allergies generally have pretty severe reactions and there are peanut products in so many things. We are still really careful because peanut butter is a choking hazard as well. Sounds like you are an involved and caring grandma! :)

Honor his mother's request. But you can certainly feed him Sun Butter. It is peanut free, can used just like peanut butter, but is made from sunflower seeds. It is also useful for people whose kids attend peanut free schools.

You could try almond butter. In my opinion it tastes much better than peanut butter and I thinkg peanuts in this day and age are toxic. I agree with the others, respect your DIL wishes but... ask her what she thinks about organic almond butter.

it probably wouldn't be a problem, but it's really up to the mother. she's not trying to be mean to her child she is doing what she believes is right, and the doctor is working from research. so respecting the mothers wishes is probably the right way to go, or you could lose her trust and damage your relationship.

I think the more important question is whether or not you want to build a solid, trusting relationship with your daughter-in-law. There are valid, differing opinions on the safety of peanut butter. Whether or not she is right, your daughter-in-law wants to follow her doctor's advice and wait to give peanut until her son is two years old. I think she would really appreciate it if you respected her decision.

J.

Hi M.,

I'm a mother and a full-time student at the U of M majoring in Nutrition. Normally I wouldn't add a comment to a question that has so many responses already, but I wanted to answer you strictly from a nutrition stand point and not a mother stand point.

You are absolutely right about peanut butter when you were raising your kids - and peanut allergies were not mentioned and they didn't need to be.

Right now the medical and science community are scrambling because food allergies ARE on the rise - big time - and they don't know why. What they DO know is that those who do have food allergies were often given the foods for the first time at an early age. So foods that MIGHT cause problems are often recommended to be held off until the child is older. This doesn't guarantee anything, but the thought is that waiting now raises the chances that the body will respond properly to the food later. Like the brain, the GI system fine tunes it's development over time (and strengthens) and will hopefully be developed enough to be able to recognize PB as PB and not a foreign intruder when the child is older.

Until we know more about WHY people develop food allergies and why they are on the rise so much, this is the best advice we can give. It might seem extreme, but the science community will often flip to extreme caution when they know something is happening but can't explain why. Also, because there is no real "right or wrong" answer, you will get a variety of responses from different pediatricians. This is because research data can be interpreted in different ways - what one doc feels is "safe" another doc feels is still "too risky" and so forth.

I hope this was helpful! Have a great week!

We have peanut allergies in the family and have been told to wait until at least age 3 before trying. Sunflower seed butter is a yummy alternative to try.

We gave our son peanut butter shortly after he turned one. We have no history allergies in our family so I wasn't too concerned about it. Like the others have said, though, I would honor your DIL's wishes. If she says no peanut butter then hold off until she says it's ok.

I wait until my kids are 2 because then they are old enough to let me know if they are having a reaction. Would a 14 month old be able to tell you if his throat was swelling shut?
A lot more kids have allergies these days because of genetics. Your family might not have much for allergies but maybe your kids spouses families might have allergies and then your Grandbabies have a greater chance.
I would alse consider the fact that you may have some pretty upset Moms if you do things behind their backs. Once you go against their wishes they won't ever trust you and that will make it very hard for you in the future. And, if you did give it to him and he had a reaction and ended up in the hospital the Mom would hate you.
Plus, it's just peanut butter, I wouldn't even make a big deal about it because it's really not worth ruining your relationship with her over a food.
My foster son is a great example for food allergies. I switched him from formula to whole milk cold turkey and he broke out in a complete rash every time he would drink it. The Ped. had me put him back on formula for a month and then slowly introduce the whole milk an ounce at a time mixed in with the formula and then he did fine and hasn't had another reaction to it since. Allergies are weird.
Best Wishes,
J.

Hi M. -

You should follow the advice and the wishes of the Pediatrician and mother. You will have many years to feed them peanut butter when they get older.

Hi-
Due to the thousands of cases of peanut allergies popping up everywhere, my doctor told me no peanut butter until age 3. I think the doctors want to wait to make sure the allergies don't show up. And it seems that after a certain age, it's less likely kids will develope the allergy. As a teacher, I have seen more peanut allergies within the last 4 years than ever before. Some kids can't even be around kids that eat peanut butter. They have it so bad, that a classroom has to be peanut free for the whole year. I know a kid who couldn't ride a bus, because there might be peanuts in the AIR! So it's pretty serious. I would follow the doctor's orders.
L.

I would follow the doctors advice as i gave my twins just a bite of a peanut butter sandwhich when they were about a year old. One was fine and the other broke out horribly from it. I had to take her in and the doctor told me that you are suppose to wait until they are two. He said they were finding out for some reason kids were developing allergies to peanut butter at an early age, so its better to wait until they were two.

The general rule of thumb is not until a year. Wieght means nothing. My son just turned a year and started eating peanut butter. He loves it. However, since his mom feels so strongly about no peanut butter you probably don't want to rock the boat.

Dear Grandma M.,

I know you're asking this question out of love for your grandson, but remember that your daughter-in-law is in charge. You have to respect her reasoning, understanding that she, too, is looking out for her son. Your backing up your daughter-in-law's decision, even if it's not the one you might have made, is the best way to love and support the entire family.

This little boy is lucky to have so many loving people looking out for him!

BTW peanut allergies, for some reason, are on the rise in the U.S. My docter gave me the same advice.

Lynn

I am a SAHM with a 7 month old boy. We have not had to discuss the peanut butter issue yet since he is still young. I just wanted to say that I think you should respect the wishes of your daughter-in-law. As a first time mother, it has been hard for me to talk about things with my mother-in-law. She is very old fashioned about what babies can eat and how things should be done. Things are so different now days and thats only because of more research and technology. Doctors aren't saying these things to make our mothers, grandmothers or mother-in-laws mad or to feel as if they did things wrong. They have just found new ways to help control all the food allergies and other things. I agree with your daughter-in-law in following what the doctor has suggested. I tend to listen to my doctor more. Doctors also want whats best for your grandchild. Like I said, I don't have experience with the peanut butter, but I would hate for your daughter-in-law to feel uncomfortable around you because you didn't respect her wishes. As a daughter-in-law myself I know how hard it is when you and your mother-in-law disagree. It is definitely harder to say how you are truely feeling to a mother-in-law then it is to your own mother. I also think it is wonderful that you took the time to come on here and ask for suggestions. I hope I didn't come off too strong and I hope that this will help you. Good Luck!! Have fun with those grandkids.

Our pediatrician had us wait until our daughter was three years old. Also, we were advised that an allergic reaction might not manifest with the first exposure, but might manifest with a subsequent exposure so just because the child seems fine doesn't mean you might not end up at the ER a different time. Peanut butter is also considered a choking hazard now as well. Given the possible allergic reaction, choking hazard and above all the mother's wishes, it seems a clear choice to avoid peanut butter at this point.

I would honor your daughter-in-law's wishes, even if you think he'd like it. Peanut allergies are very serious and it should be up to mom and dad to decide when they want to let him try it.

My doctor (and WIC) told me that at 15 months if we had NO food allergies at all in our family we could try some peanut butter. My daughter loved it but it really is a scary thing and a personal choice for each mother. My daughter has always been really good at self-feeding and also has 12 teeth so it totally depends on each child I think.

Dear M.,

I sort of understand where you are coming from, I put my daughter, who is now two, on her stomach to sleep, and one of the first fruits she ate was strawberries, also highly allergenic. The problem with peanuts is that peanut allergies tend to be very, very extreme, most people who are allergic go into shock and have their throats close when they come in contact with peanuts, also unlike shell fish and strawberries, peanuts and peanut products are in a ton of foods you wounldn't even think about peanuts being in. That is why, despite breaking about every other "rule", we avoided peanut butter, to reduce the risk of inducing a really scary peanut allergy. Please respect your daughter-in-law's decision, they just suggest not eating it until two, give it ten more months before getting him addicted to the salt and sugar :) Hope this explaination helps.

A little about me:I'm a mother of one, Aizlynn 2 1/2 years, and full time Student. I also have the great opportunity to work from home with the mom team, www.themomteam.com/harkleroadaj.

HI M.:

I have two children, ages 4 and 3. When my 4 year old was a baby -- we started him on many foods that (in hindsight) he probably should not have had ... eggs at 8 months, peanut butter at one year, etc. with no problems whatsoever. Then, when my daughter was 11 months, she wouldn't eat much and she was petite. I was always trying to persuade her to eat. I tried to give her foods high in calories, to try and bring her up a little higher on the growth-chart. One night, after not touching a thing on her plate, again. I gave her bites of a bagel spread with peanut butter. Less than 20 minutes later, I found myself with her in urgent care (and now I know I should've called 911). After a LONG ride in the ambulance to Children's Hospital we found out she had an allergy to peanuts and all tree nuts. I don't know if her age caused the allergy -- but, I know now, that if she'd had the nuts later, the reaction may not have been so severe.

We carry an epi pen -- and every time she leaves my sight (like today at Sunday School), she gets a big sticker she wears on her back, "no nuts please, I'm allergic". Halloween is difficult, baseball games are hard, and visits to friends and relatives homes -- where labels might not be read as diligently are nerve racking. Don't even ask about a family reunion -- where ALL the goodies are baked in peanut butter, or covered in chocolate that "may contain nuts". I'm the mom who runs around with a popsicle for my kid, or a bag of pretzels ... not because I'm healthy -- but, because we don't dare take another chance.

I tell you my story not to scare the dickens out of you -- but, to tell you that I too have one child who can eat anything -- and does. And, one that I must watch all she puts into her mouth, for fear it might send her to the hospital, or worse. In the case of your grandchild, and your daughter-in-law, I say "better safe than sorry".

Take care,
T.

I suppose you need to honor your DIL's decisions..I'm not alway into all these "new" rules from the doctors that our parents didn't follow or know about.

My daughter is 6 and when she was a baby I did what I felt was right or ok and she had ate everything. She had rice cereal at 2mos. before the doctor said it was ok. blah blah....... My daughter isn't allergic to anything and is the best eater, she will eat almost anything. Food issues are not a problem in our house. If you give my daughter a steak or crab legs she'll think she's gone to heaven. I think she's like this either because I'm a really lucky mom or because she was introduced to everything and anything at a early age before she could learn to dislike it.

As a daughter-in-law, please respect your daughter-in-laws wishes. You might have made different decisions for your children, but these are your *grand*children.

It isn't a matter of whether or not you want to give your grandson peanut butter. It's a matter of respecting the decisions of your son & his wife & supporting them even if you disagree. Now, if they were doing something completely neglectful or abusive I could see stepping in, but when it comes to feeding him something she'd rather he didn't have - please leave well enough alone.

My son is 3.5 and only weighs 30 pounds. He eats well, but is just a slender guy. At 14 months, I doubt Chase even weighed 19 pounds - some kids are just smaller. For what it's worth - our son hates peanut butter. :)

J.
mom to Chase (3.5)

My son doesn't have peanut allergies but had a dairy allergy until he was about 2. We saw an allergist and she said to not introduce peanuts until four. Our regular ped office said wait until they are 3 for all children, even those that don't have any other food allergies. You are the grandmother and not the parent so you have to go by what the parent said. Food allergies are serious and much more common now. My son is 2 1/2 and we use soy peanut butter that he loves and doesn't know the difference. You can even find it at Rainbow and Cub. Defer to the parent. It is a safty issue and it is your daughter-in-laws decision on what is best for her child, not yours.

M.~
Hi, My name is S., and my son is almost 21 months old. While i was pregnant, i read all the books and was trying to get ready to be the perfect mom. Anyway, I did read that you should not give children peanut butter until they are a year old. I also spoke with my doctor about it and she told me that childrenn don't have alergic reactions the first time they try something. If they are allergic, they usually have a reaction the second or third time they try it. My son was just over a year old when I gave it to him the first time, and he hasn't had any problems. Good luck.
~S.~

HI M.,

I understand what both sides of the PB debate, but I took things into perspective for my son. Meaning, neither my husband nor I had any food allergies and my son never had any reactions to any other food. Also, children (babies) have been given PB for as long as I know, it's what I grew up on. So I was comfortable with trying it out. My doctor did say to not give it, and I told her that I already had (I did wait until he was 1) and that I don't believe in the "developing an allergy" line, I believe in the "developing an immunity" one. ( I also breast fed and ate PB, and I really feel that played a part in his "immunity") So she shrugged and said "You're gonna do what you're gonna do," and then gave me any advice for dealing with an allergic reaction, just in case. Bottom line, these are my thoughts and feelings and definitely not medical advice. There are so many moms out there that are unsure of what to do and feel that their doctor is their best resource. So, they listen and follow all the guidelines and they are comfortable with that. I'm a born rule breaker, but I genuinely appreciated any support I got (get) from other moms, even those that don't agree with me. To end, just support your daughter-in-law with hwatever she chooses, it is her child and her choice and no matter what you all want what's best. She's just trying to do hers.

M., I agree that you are a really caring grandma and it is great you are interested in your grandchildren's best interest. Allergies have been increasing at an alarming rate recently and peanut allergies are one of the most severe types of allergies. My daughter has anaphylaxis (life threatening--needs an epi shot) to peanut, dairy and egg. Her first reaction was on her first birthday and I had never given her peanuts ever. There must have been some cross-contamination in the item she was eating.

I would also suggest what someone else did, sunbutter. You can purchase it at Cub Foods or any healthfood store. It tastes great and is very healthy. If you do this, you will be giving her something yummy, healthy and full of protein and not interfering with her mother's wishes. From someone who has to deal with severe allergies on a daily basis, you want to avoid it--so stick with the mom's wishes. :)

I have a co-worker who's son is very allergic to peanut butter and hearing all their horror stories made me worry about my newborn. So I spoke to our pediatrician about this and because there's no way of knowing whether or not a child will have a reaction to certain foods, such as peanut butter or strawberries, he recommended to not give a child these foods until the age of 2. To be honest though, it's really hit or miss which kind of stinks! Good luck to you

If his mom says no, don't give it to him. She is the one who is responsible for his health and well-being and I would respect her parenting decisions as a supportive grandparent. I personally give my 15 month old peanut butter, but man if I told my mother not to give my daughter something and she did, I would find that SOoo disrespectful.

Actually the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends waiting until children are 3 years old to introduce peanuts/peanut butter. Most food allergies develop before the age of 5 and the more exposure to certain high-risk foods like peanuts the higher the risk of developing the allergy. My son is peanut allergic which was a huge surprise to us. We are part of a food allergy support group and also see one of the top allergists in the state. We have become more educated than we ever knew there was to know about this topic. Peanuts are the most likely to cause a very serious allergic reaction followed closely by fish and seafood.

Trust your DIL as to what's best for her child. It's amazing how much this has changed since I was a child. 1 in 17 kids now have a food allergy! Better to err on the safe side than to end up in an emergency room someday!

I too would honor your DIL's preference and wait until she is ready to give him peanut butter. We have no history of peanut allergies in the family and I gave my son pb when he was about 18 months old. And he is now allergic. I don't think it was because I gave it to him too soon, but just because you don't have a history of allergies doesn't mean a child won't have a problem. And bottom line, she's the momma so she gets to decide.

Majorie,

We, too, would love to give our son peanut butter and probably would have had we not found out he was allergic to peanuts -- severely (luckily, we found out through tests and not by accident). Had we given him the PB, we would have been ill-equipped (both in terms of having the education of what to do and the medical supplies to have on hand), to deal with a potentially fatal reaction. It really isn't worth the risk.

The sun-butter comment suggested is an excellent one. We have switched to it in our house. Also, like many other responses, I feel you have to respect your daughter's decision. We live with a fear everyday that our son could become sick -- not having the peanut factor in the equation (at least in our home) ebbs some of those fears.

J. Mitsuko