Particular 4 Year Old.

I would break him of it now. My son did the same thing and I stopped it. He would have to just get upset a little. Kids need to understand not everything is going to be the way they want it. It may develop into complusive behavior down the line if it hasn't already.

You've read the previous 3 responses and you are either saying to yourself, Yeah, they are right. It's not all that bad. Or you are saying, but you don't know MY son! It's much worse than you think.

If you were saying the 2nd response, I may be able to help. If not, ignore me! Many kids have some developmental issues related to genetics or the way they were brought up. For example, sensory defensiveness can run in families, or a child could have sensory integration issues from not spending enough time on his back as an infant - conventional wisdom today is to carry your baby around as much as possible to keep him safe.

INo matter what the cause, take a look at him today and ask:
How is his sense of hearing - does he hear better than most people (can hear whispering in the next room, the noise from fans bother him, etc)(hypersensitive) or is his hearing fine, yet he mixes up sounds in words (aminal for animal)(hyposensitive)?

How is his sense of seeing - does the light from the sun bother him when he goes outside(hypersensitive)? Does he get agitated when there is too much to look at like at the mall?(hypersensitive) Or does he not notice visual things like colors? (hyposensitive)

How is his sense of taste? You established that he is hypersensitive to taste, and therefore is a picky eater - all foods have lots of taste, so he doesn't want to try new things; they might taste too much.

How is his sense of smell? Does he hate the smell of normal things - like your cooking of hamburgers (hypersensitive)? Or does he crave the smell of things, and constantly smells candles, spices, lotions, etc(hyposensitive)?

How is his sense of touch? He is particular about is clothes - does he hate seams in his socks and tags on his shirts? (hypersensitive)? Or does he like to have things to touch, and to touch him - like you rubbing his back or head, him rubbing his leg (hyposensitive)?

There are two other senses - vestibular and proprioceptive.

Is his sense of balance off (vestibular)? Have him stand on both feet, close together, and close his eyes. Can he stay standing without jumping or opening his eyes for over 10 seconds? If not, his vestibular sense is off.

Proprioceptive sense has to do with knowing your place in space due to feeling your muscles and joints. If it is off, he may squeeze very hard when hugging, and can't get out of bed without stretching.

Many of us have one or two senses that are off. If a person has most of the senses off, it is not comfortable to live like this. Your senses are assaulting you all day long, and it is hard to concentrate. It makes a person irritable.

Most occupational therapists know how to give a sensory diet, and you can read more about this in "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun". However, the sensory diet works for just a few hours, and many children with this issue get labled as ADD/ADHD. To overcome it, he needs to revisit a stage in infancy and "integrate his Spinal Galant primitive reflex". This is the stage in which infants spend time on their backs, and their brains develop many abilities. The list is below, and if you see your son having two or more strong symptoms, he probably has a retained Spinal Galant:
• Fidgeting
• Bedwetting
• Poor concentration
• Poor short term memory
• Sensory integration problems
• Near focusing problems
• Difficulty with reading
Since he is still very young, it may be difficult to see how he will do with reading and concentration, but you may have a sense of where he is at.

If you would like more information about this, feel free to send me a private message, or google spinal galant primitive reflex.

I wish you the best of luck with your son!!

K. Johnson, MS Ed

My 2.5 year old daughter is like this. As long as it's not getting totally unreasonable, I just try to help her be as comfortable as possible - pants have to be pulled down *just* so, won't wear socks, etc. I think we all have our quirks. I know for me the dishwasher has to be loaded a certain way or I'll re-do it and my hubby has to have the sheets tucked and pulled tightly or he can't sleep. Don't make a big deal out of it and hopefully he'll relax some as he gets older.

Could be OCD, sensory issue, on the autism spectrum, or you just have a very 'anal' child. You could always have your pediatrician do a test on most of those conditions.

I'd talk to his teacher and get him checked out - not for a label - he is not changing regardless! - but for you to get help in how to support him the way he is. He is going to grow up in to an adult and our job is to help raise and form our children so they can care for others and take their place in society. He doesn't want to feel out of control and not be able to hold down a job or a relationship b/c of anger - there are professionals out there who can really help.

it could be that he is just particular, each child has their own funny and unique quirks about them. I have 3 children, all of whom are particular in their own way. 2 which are just like every other child, and 1 (our oldest) who after lots of worries about autism spectrums and what not, have found out he is gifted and now is probably going to go to a gifted school next year. I guess my short point is that particular ways can be nothing more than particular ways, they can also be a sign of a problem or of something wonderful. If you are really concerned I would check with your PED. other than that, I would just enjoy the fact that he will will wear pj's and his socks :)

I would consider having him evaluated by a child psychologist. You can call your school district and tell them what is going on. He sounds like he could be a child with transition issues wit tendencies towards OCD. He may also have underlying sensory issues that are causing this. A child psych. can help you to understand this and give you ideas on how to handle these things. An Occupational therapist may also be alot of help in the sensory area....Better to have the evaluation done now then finding out all kinds of stuff once he is in school. Early Intervention is the place to ask for when calling your school district. It sounds necessary. Good Luck!

Yeah, could certainly be OCD, which is treatable but the only way you'll know is to get him evaluated. If you feel like this is overwhelming to cope with or keeping him from doing things he should be enjoying, definitely move ahead with evaluation process - any recommendations for treatment are your choice. Good luck!