Pacifier Addiction

Updated on February 08, 2010
J.A. asks from West Hills, CA
49 answers

I don't care that my son uses a pacifier. I am tired of waking up 6 times a night to put it back in. I have not slept in five months.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all your help. Now he is sleeping from 7:30 until
4:00. I combined the Pantley method along with sprinkling the pacifiers all
over his crib. It is 5:15 in the morning and I just checked on him and he
was laying on his side with a pacifier toward the top of his crib.
This is amazing progress. Thanks again, ladies!

Featured Answers

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G.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

He is only 5 months, it is his way to self soothe himself - when he is older and understands you can tell him he can only have it at sleep time and then only in his room and then he can give them away. I had 6 or 7 "binkies" in my son's bed so that if he lost it, he could feel around and plug it back in. if you take it away too soon, he will use his thumb and that is really had to take away

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is nothing wrong with giving him the pacifier... the baby NEEDS that sucking reflex wether it may be from a pacifier or a thumb... it's absolutely necessary for their emotional development... my daughter is 18 months and she couldn't do without it before.. and now she's kinda pushing it away from herself .. and doesn't even really want it.. even until 3 years old it's fine.. dont' worry... believe me there are A LOT MORE THINGS in store for you to worry about... :-)

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Jennifer, I know what it's like to try to take the pacifier away, it sucks! I learned this with my son, then did it with my daughter, and it worked like magic. I just cut the tip off, just a little. Then about a week later, cut the whole tip off. I did this while they slept so they wouldn't see my doing it. About five days later, they were over it. When I tried taking it away from my son, he was so mad and threw ridiculous tantrums. After cutting the tip, he nor my daughter knew what happenend. This works great! My sister-in-law tried it with her daughter and worked too. Considering he's only 5 months old, let him have it. Just put it a few inches from his mouth when he's asleep so he can get to it easier and not wake you up.Good luck!
Mayra

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know that can be hard at least up to the time he will be able to find and put it in his month on his own during the night. That should be soon for him. I am a mother of two with another on the way. My first loved the binky we used to throw them into her crib so she would find them she slept with two for awhile. Then one and then would only use it when she was tired, in bed, naps and in the car and she got rid of it on her own with some help of us slowly cutting it down, but that was when she was about two two 1/2. Just hang in there. If he wants the binky give it to him, he needs it as his soother. My dr was all for them and they will give it up. I was worried to at first because she wanted it, believe me it is fine and he is only 5 months old. It's better then the thumb. That is no good and a habit very hard to break. My 7 month old loves her ring and tall finger as her soother I love it! and not worried a bit

Good luck

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello
I don't mean to sound rude, but honestly, you need to choose your battles, your baby needs a pacifier to soothe him at night, who cares, he is a baby, and in the BIG picture, it's a zero deal, he will grow up to be the same amazing person no matter what, I promise, so I say, forget about it.
I am a mommy of 3 little girls, they all have used pacifiers and they stop when they are ready, dont force the issue, get some sleep and let it go.

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M.Z.

answers from Reno on

All of my kids were the same way. They do become able to get it themselves, but also once they can sleep sounder they won't need it put back in. Make sure your baby goes to bed on a full tummy so he won't wake up so easily. Be careful with the pacifier on a cord, it could be dangerous if your little one starts wiggling in the crib to much. I hope you find something that works for you.

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D.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi Jennifer,
I am a mother of a 10 yr old girl...who loved her pacifier like your son. She could not sleep without it and would wake up in the middle of the night if it came out of her mouth and would put it back in herself. We tried taking the pacifier from her on several occasions, but it did not work. We ended up narrowing her time with the pacifier only for naps and bedtime...being it was part of her comfort zone...we let her keep it until she was ready to let go. And when she started walking about...eventually she gave it up around age 15 months. It did not interfer with her teeth development and she has a perfect smile.

Hope this helps!

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J.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

The strongest normal instinct for babies is sucking..they do
it in there sleep as you know. When mothers breast feed the
length of time is up to 20 minutes and the baby is tired and
the instinct to suck is satisfied those babies don't us pacifiers as much as bottle fed babies. The bottle is fast
feeding in comparison. The sucking also helps babies digest
their food, it works the intestines so sucking is very very
important. So let you baby use the pacifier as often as he/she
wants it, it gives him/her peace and give you peace and that is
most important. Your little one will outgrow it..in time.

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H.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Let him have the pacifier. I have a friend who has two daughters who still use the pacifier to go to bed at night and for naps. My own daughter didn't wean from the bottle until 3 1/2. Don't worry about the doctors and dentists who tell you that their teeth will be screwed up due to bottles and pacifiers and all that. I slowly weaned my daughter off the bottle and her teeth are fine. Besides, My husband and I both had braces anyway. We figure the kid is bound to have at least one crooked tooth or one cavity, right? Ease up on yourself and your son-he's only five months old. Eventually, he'll get rid of his pacifier and grab a blanket instead:)

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J.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My pediatrician told me to cut little slits in all of the pacifiers. That way you can still offer to your child, but they will stop wanting it because it's "broken" and try another and then decide on their own that they don't like it anymore. It might be worth a try, good luck.

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Jennifer,
She may need more time with you and is looking for comfort in a pacifier. Try carrying her in a sling for a few hours each day. (It doesn't have to be in a row). More contact time with mom, dad or caregivers can make a baby feel more secure and may not need to seek comfort in a pacifier. Do you breast feed? If so, don't look at b feeding as nutrition only. Offer her your breast for comfort too. Also, try getting your baby a little blanket (called a lovey) that she keeps in the crib only. We got one for our son at 5 months and he rolls around with it and rubs it against his face and falls asleep with it. We got him the ones from Angel Dear. (hint: buy a couple as back -ups in case one gets left somewhere or the dog gets a hold of it). The idea is that your baby replaces you with the lovey for comfort at night. She can project your face onto it since most of them have no faces. Our baby is 7 months old and now wakes only once or twice each night to nurse now instead of 5 or 6 times before the lovey! It's worth trying before you let the little thing cry it out. Hang in there. You will get sleep eventually!
Good Luck,
D.

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

Jennifer,
I am a mother of three(15,13 and 5). Two were pacifier babies and one a thumb sucker. When I think back to being a first time mom I still get overwhelmed. There is so much to learn(on the job I might add!!). Proper sleep for you is HUGE!!!! Your baby is just learning how to comfort himself. Put several pacifiers in the crib and see if that helps. You may have to let him cry a little longer but eventually he will learn put himslef back to sleep...either with the pacifier or without it. Crying will not hurt him.
You might also try separating the pacifier from the comfort toy. When the pacifier goes away the comfort toy(i.e.blankie) remains.
My first son we weaned off the paci by the time his brother was born(23 months). We snipped the end of it. He proceeded to hand it back to us like it was defective(it was actually kind of funny)...and then cried a bunch the first night. The Next night less. By the third night done. Its okay to go in and comfort them, to let them know you are there but just don't pick them up.
My second son was the thumb sucker. I got VERY lucky with him, he weaned himself I think by three and 1/2.
My daughter was a little over 2 and we just told her that
We weren't going to get anymore paci"s so if they got lost that was it. Similiar to her brother she cried a little the first night but that was it.
There is so much information out there(sometimes too much). Don't get overwelmed by it. Trust that your son will let you know what he needs.
Good luck

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N.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter will be 5 months tomorrow and we have been facing a similar issue. We have kept hoping she will grow out of it, especially since she is still being swaddled. Is your son going through teething? Our daughter is showing all the signs (LOTS of loose stools, drooling buckets, etc.), which is why I tried to be patient. I have used Hyland's teething tablets during the day, which seem to help. She seems to be improving, as last night she only got up one time during her longest sleep stretch (6-8 hours) needing her pacifier. I'm not a fan of the CIO approach, but I sympathize with your frustration and exhaustion. I only hope that last night is the sign of things to come and not an anomaly. The thing that helps me is that she will only be this young once and I should do everything I can to help her blossom into the woman I hope she will become. Look forward to hearing others responses who have been through this and can look back now.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I need the same help! I am on pacifier duty with 5 month old twins. I have four children and I am still confused. With my first son, I let him cry it out at 7 months. He is 7 years old and he still is not a great sleeper. My second son, slept through the night at 2 months. I never was in this position before. If anything, Jennifer, I just wanted to let you know that your not the only one. I have read all the books you have mentioned plus "12 hours by 12 weeks". This is a good one, but it doesn't talk about the pacificer in this way. It does talk about the finger! I can't believe I went through two children without them sucking their fingers and now all day long I am trying to introduce their thumb. I feel terrible, but I am too tired.

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S.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like you've done a lot of reading, but I would highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It gives great, age-appropriate advice regarding crying and options to get your baby to sleep. It is so difficult to hear your baby cry, and 5 minutes seems like an eternity (though, it only gets tougher as they get older and more set in their ways). However, if you really want to break the habit now, you're going to have to let him cry a little more. If your baby is fed and dry, crying isn't going to hurt him or cause lasting problems and it really will only be a couple days before he learns to put himself to sleep. Once you can get more sleep yourself, you'll feel much better. And if you aren't able to let him cry it out, don't beat yourself up. If you can hire a sitter for a couple hours to get a nap, that might help too--everything seems worse when you're exhausted.

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J.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Jennifer:

Our daughter did the same thing. As some of the other moms have written, you'll need to put in several pacifiers and spread them around the bed (we had 2 wubanubs plus 3 soothies). I made it a habit to put them in the same location each time so she knew exactly where she needed to reach out, even half asleep, to get one in the middle of the night. Also, your baby will only get better and better at putting the binky back in his mouth on his own. Hang in there!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear Jennifer,
It does get better so hang in there! My son had the same problem and I just got up and gave the pacifier back to him and went back to sleep. Pretty soon, your son will be able to do it himself and won't bother you. The best benefit of the pacifier is that it helps prevent SIDS so I would stick with it for that reason alone. I couldn't let my son cry it out. It was too painful for me.

Maybe you can alternate nights with your husband where he gets up one night and you get up the next so you're not so tired.

Good luck.

L.

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M.D.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Jennifer,
My first daughter, now 3 1/2 years old was very attached to her pacifier. Initially, I was like you, not wanting her to become addicted to it. However, I learned that babies have a natural need to suck and it is very soothing for them. A pacifier can provide a source of comfort for your babe when he needs it, and you need a little rest.

I have had nurses, doctors, a pediatric dentist and a PhD in child development reassure me that there is nothing wrong with allowing a child to have a pacifier for as long as he feels the need. Also, if it is the wubanub he really wants, that is okay too. Any transitional item which provides a sense of security and comfort is a wonderful thing for your baby.

If I remember correctly, I let my daughter have her pacifier whenever she was sleepy or fussy when she was less than 12-15 months old. Over time, we tapered off to just having it at nap and bedtimes. That way she learned other ways to deal with her frustrations, she could parctice her talking, etc. Eventually, she just lost interest in it.

My second daughter, now 9 months old, refuses to take a pacifier, and how I wish she did! It is so much easier to get some rest with a happily pacified baby. :)

I'd recommend giving your little guy his pacifier and get some much needed sleep! Good luck!

Sincerely,
M.

p.s. We put several pacifiers in the crib, so if she lost one, she was much more likely to find another on her own. It worked pretty well, and ended multiple trips to the crib.

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E.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

my son doesn't have the elephant things on his pacifer, but he is totally addicted it his pacifier!!! LOL
so what I do is just put a bunch of them in the crib, that way noatter where he rolled to during the night he would always be close to one. This is a great way to let them learn how to fix the problem themself! ;) every know and then he'll cry a little fuzz he's crammed them all under the bumper! LOL

Good luck ;)

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

my daughter who is 11 months old also uses a wubanub and has since she was born. At night I put 3 of them in her crib with no blanket so she can always find them easily, it seems to work...she sleeps through the night. I did let her cry a bit and she learned to grab the pacifier and go back to sleep.
good luck...

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's great that he has the wubanub. He is beginning to be able to put it in his mouth, himself. When he can do that at night, he can take care of his needs himself, and will go back to sleep himself. You and he are on the right track!

Usually babies under 6 months need you to help them go back to sleep and may still need to be fed in the middle of the night. After six months, hopefully they have something like a pacifier or "cuddly" to help them. But they still need to be reassured that you are there.

You might try the parentingtots.org websight to see an approach that might work for you when the baby is 6 months old.

Good luck!

Judy

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P.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am just curious to why you think it is so bad that your baby uses a pacifier. It comforts them and helps them to go back to sleep and relax. Your baby is only 5 months old and therefore still wants to suck on something. If your baby was three years old it would be a different story, but you have an infant, just let him have it. Both my daughters had their pacifier until they were two years old. Yes, you have to wake up in the night to help them find it sometimes, but you probably save time in the long run because with a pacifier they usually immediately fall
back asleep once you pop it back in. LOL

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey Jennifer,
I have an 8 1/2 month old and I gotta tell you that this will pass! My little girl was the same exact way with her pacifier. She would fall assleep with it in her mouth and as soon as she fell into a deep sleep and relaxed her mouth it would fall out and result in her waking up. She sleeps with a little stuffed elephant and I start pushing it up right against her. Putting the head of the elephant against the pacifier but leaving it clear of her nose. I have been doing that for about five months now and it works great. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Put more than one pacifier in the crib during the night. He will eventually get the hang of it to search on his own for it. Other than that, you'll just have to be the pacifier finder. Or keep extras by your bedside so you always know where they are.

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M.C.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hello Jennifer,

I have a five year old son, and a three year old daughter.

I am with Denise D. on this one. He is 5 months old. Crying is his main way of communicating his needs right now. Crying is a sign that he has a need that needs to be met. Once his need is met he will cry less.

I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to getting a decent night sleep after she turned one. If you are tired, then try your best to get some sleep. A well rested mommy is a happy mommy.

I wish a could offer you a quick fix, but he is a baby right now. My motto: Take care of his needs now, and he will need you less later. (And "wants" are different from "needs")

Find what works for you. Best of luck,

M

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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear Jennifer,

You will sleep again I promise! Babies and young children wake up a lot at night. It's just what they do. If you have friends with babies who sleep through the night all the time they are either lying or very, very fortunate. Neither of my children started really sleeping well until they were 2 or 3. Have you considered reading some of Doctor Sear's books? I co-slept with both my children when they were very young. If not I would not have been able to sleep either. Good luck. This is the hard part. It gets much easier as they grow up.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My girlfriend advised me to try putting it in salt and then giving it to them - mind you I did this at 20 months and it worked like a charm. My girl quit right away - and we have not looked back since. Hope this helps.

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Jennifer
His is only 5 months old. The Pacifier is soothing to a baby. I wouldn't take it away from him just yet. But try in a couple of months or so. If it doesn't work then try a couple of months after that...

D.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter did the same thing at 5 months - she couldn't put it back in her mouth by herself yet, and one night I went in at least 25 times before 9:30 pm. I was so frustrated that I took it away and let her cry. She cried for 25 minutes and slept through until 7 am the next morning. I threw all the pacifiers away the next day and never used one again. She would cry at naptime and bedtime for the next few days but only about 5-10 minutes or so. Prior to that I couldn't stand to hear her cry more than 10 minutes. My advice if you decide to try and let him cry it out - take it away at night and turn the monitor off until you know he's asleep. It's hard but VERY worth it. The books are great, and I read many of them, too, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, no matter what the experts say.

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M.M.

answers from San Diego on

Hey, I know a lot of people won't agree, but I don't think there is anything wrong with CIO. IF (big IF) it is done for the right reasons. Are you so overtired that you struggle to be the kind of mom you want to during the day? Do you think your son is overtired? If so, he will have trouble learning and could end up with sleep problems later in life. There are certain things we ALL need to be healthy (including babies). Food is one, sleep is another. If your son isn't sleeping well b/c of a pacifier, then I don't see anything wrong with teaching him to sleep without so he can be healthier and you can be a better mom. On the other hand, if you feel he is plenty well rested and you are doing okay, but just don't ENJOY getting up, well then maybe it isn't quite time yet.

If you do decide cry it out, maybe try just naps first since you say he is starting to put it back in during the day...

Also, I had a friend who would offer her baby his thumb all day long instead of the pacifier. He eventually got the idea and stopped asking for it at night.

Best of luck! No sleep is MISERABLE!

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

At this age, there is no problem with them wanting it. It comforts them. Before 12 months, my son only used it when he slept (naps/bedtime). By the time he turned two, he was done with it. No teeth problems and he slept great and still does at 5.

I agree with Sarah that Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is a great book. I have loaned it out to a few friends and it really works. I still use it. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Jennifer,
Hang in there, this will pass. I completely agree with MC's comments about babies communicating by crying at this age. I was a pacifier butler too with my now 10 month old, but once she was able to manipulate the pacifer herself, it was no longer a problem and it sounds like your little one is starting to learn how to do it himself. Keep a nightlight on so he can find it, and putting extras in the crib helps. And once he can do it, then he can get himself back to sleep. When my first daughter was 2 years or so, we cut a small slit in the pacifiers so when she sucked it, there was no satisfaction and when she questioned it, we just said "uh oh, it doesn't work anymore" and it was sooooooo much easier because it wasn't us taking it away from her or saying no. It took about a week before she stopped asking for it. When she asked for it, we'd give it to her, and because it wasn't working right, she would just put it down and try again later and put it down again, and eventually just didn't need it anymore.

As far as the cry it out method... all babies are different. With my first daughter, CIO did not work at all... she actually hated her crib and I too read all the same books and tried everything. We ended up getting her a toddler bed when she was 10 months old! And it worked!! She slept through the night for the first time. She just did not like the bars I guess. We got her a firetruck bed (because it was more enclosed so she wouldn't fall out). With my second daughter, CIO worked right away. I did nothing different. And she LOVES her crib and as a matter of fact, doesn't like to sleep anywhere else. My point is, that you have to do what works for you and your baby. And this time goes by so fast. Take care.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old... to give you a bit of a background on me. With the first child, I just let him cry after the binky fell out of his mouth (advice from my doctor). It worked!!! He learned to just sooth himself via the music I put on while he went to sleep. I also put several binky's in his crib, so when he was able to grab them on his own, he had that option. With my 4 month old, I also put the binky in his mouth (still play music) before I leave his room, and once if falls out... well, he is on his own. I do put a stuffed animal up against his cheek though that seems to help. He too has learned to sooth himself via the music. Sometimes a little bit of tough love works! Yeah, it pulls at your heart strings like crazy, but better to try and train them a bit early so that you won't become a "butler" Good luck :)

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J.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

The sucking motion of a pacifier is soothing to little ones and this one is still a little guy. Me, personally, I would reconsider taking it away yet. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Santa Barbara on

At five months I wouldn't worry about him wanting the pacifier. Here's my personal story: With my son, we decided to end his pacifier days at two years old. We let him have it at naptime and at night, distracting him with toys and activities during wake times. Once he was asleep, we would gently pull it out of his mouth so that he didn't suck all through the night. Yes, he would often find it himself in the middle of the night, but it would fall out after he got back to sleep. At 20 months, we started telling him that on his two-year-old birthday, the pacifier would be done for him. When his b-day came, he gave us his pacifier without a fight. He had one night of a couple of tears, but went to sleep fairly easily and slept soundly through the night. He's not needed it or mentioned it since, and he's now been without it for 5 months. Not all little ones give it up this easily, but I have heard many other stories like mine. Like my friend says, "There are worse habbits we'll have to break them of."

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J.U.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids were addicted to the pacifier as well. The solution is to put more than one in his crib with him so he can reach out and easily find one to sooth his needs.

More than one is the answer.

Mother of two sons 2 1/2 and 4 1/2

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A.V.

answers from Grand Junction on

My son was the same way. He is now nine months. I usually don't have to give back to him during the night anymore. I made sure that there was a small light on so he could find it himself. It just takes time.

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not sure if you've been able to extend the "cry it out time" but we found that once we got over the initial 10 min, our baby learned pretty quickly to put herself back down. However, not sure if your son will do this if he sees his paci in the crib, but simply cant put it in. Can you get it out of there? Is that your goal?

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E.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. My daughter went through that stage also. I used to say that the pacifier is a blessing and a curse! He WILL get to a stage when he can put it back in himself and life is good again. I was going to try to break my little one of it, but I knew her teeth would be coming and I thought she would still need it. You'll get through this stage mom, I promise. Let him keep it if it doesn't drive you too crazy! My daughter will be 2 next month and the goal is to break her of it by the summer, when her sibling is born. Remember also that he's 5 months and probably very close to sleeping through the night. Once that happens, the pacifier will fall out and he won't even notice. Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Jennifer. I can relate to the lack of sleep. My son did not EVER take a pacifier though I tried EVERY brand out there. I have a collection of "play toys" now needless to say. It took Austin until 9 months before he would sleep through the night and not be awake every 1-2 hours screaming. I recruited help from my mom because I was losing it. We tried the crying out, bring him to bed with us, etc. Nothing seemed to help.
My mom would go into the room, ssshhhhhhh, and pat him without pulling him out of the crib. She'd lie him back down. It wasn't easy but now I can say he is still sleeping through the night with few wake up calls.
Give your son a litte more time if you need to with the pacifier. Eventually I believe they grow out of it.
Not sure if that helped!
Good luck!
K.

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 5 year old used is until he turned 4 years old.I only aloud him to use it while he was sleeping and when he was an infant I had 4 in his crib. He always held on to one and when he lost the one he had the other to put in his mouth.
I now have a 7 month old that will not take it and we wish she would take it it would make are lives alot easier. She still wakes up 3 times a night no matter what.
Some babies are good sleepers and some suck and I have 2 that suchs my five you have 4 more years before you get a 8 hours sleep.
ITs all worth it.
C.

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R.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Jennifer,

Seed the crib with a dozen or so pacifiers of a kind that your son prefers. Put them in easy reach all around his head and upper body. If he loses the pacifier in the night, he will soon learn to pat around his bed to find another and stick it in his mouth. Believe it or not, you can even put him in the crib with the pacifiers when he's awake and show him how to pat around to find another by holding his hand and playing a game of patting around until he finds one. Young babies can learn more than you would imagine by being engage in this way.

I got this advise from my mother-in-law when my son was about your son's age. She used it for my husband when he was a baby! It worked really well.

BTW, I highly recommend taking the pacifier away during as much of the day as possible once your child begins talking (real talking, not babbling). While I know it's not true of all children, my daughter was completely addicted to the pacifier and learned to talk with it in her mouth. Her speech was incredibly garbled and virtually unintelligible even to me by the time she was 5. While it's probable that this was mostly a result of a 25% hearing deficit that she had annually for 4-5 months out of the year b/n her 1st and 5th years because of cold and allergy-clogged ears, we could not rule out the contribution of the pacifier to her problem. She ended up having to undergo extensive speech therapy for years to help her develop normal articulation (she just finished at 14). The first 5 years of speech therapy corrected the articulation problem but left her with a pronounced dysfluency (a type of stuttering). We then spent 4 years hoping the stutter would correct itself, and finally found a really good fluency clinic at CSUN that helped her to resolve the rest of her problems. She speaks like a normal teen now -- a mile a minute! (Funny, but I still can't understand a lot of what she says, even though the words are perfectly clear! ;-) ) It was a pretty long process though, and one that was very frustrating at times for everyone.

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

I have a 6 month old, and she used to do the same thing. It has gotten a lot better over the past month, it used to be every hour we would have to give it to her( or at lest in the middle of the night it seemed like every hour :)
I would give him some more time, he might grow out of it on his own..

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I feel your pain... really... my son (3yrs) just started sleeping through the night a few months ago. I was at my wits end when he was about 8 months old, and also read all those books. The bottom line I figured out is that some kids just don't sleep, or can't. Whatever, it doesn't really matter when you're exausted beyond belief, does it? I finally just brought him in our bed with us, and guess what??? He started sleeping better, he was still nursing through the night, but since I didn't have to get up with him, I was much better rested. Now I will say that I was still tired, but not so much a zombie. He slept with us until he was about 18 months old and wiggled too much, then I moved into his room with him for a little while, and now he's on his own. I also let him have his pacifier until he turned two, at which point he was able to let it go because he had a strong attachment to a blankie. I know it seems like you will never sleep again, but maybe just changing the ideas you had about how or where you or he "should" be sleeping will help. Just baby him while you have the chance! :)

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M.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My daughter LOVED her pacifier, too. At five months I don't think she was able to find her pacifier in the middle of the night either. At about six months she could. I kept at least eight pacifiers in her crib at all times so one would be close by no matter where she was in the crib. I worry though that your son's pacifier has a stuffed animal attached to it. I'm not sure that's safe in a baby's bed. Maybe you can switch to something without a stuffed animal attached and then load him up with a good supply. Soon enough, he'll be able to help himself.
By the way, by age one I limited pacifiers to bed, the car, and the airport and airplanes. By age two, pacifiers were for sleeping and air travel only. Before her third birthday the pacifier was gone. I thought it would be a very difficult adjustment, but within two days she was fine without her pacifier.
Good luck.

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T.L.

answers from San Diego on

Let him have the pacifier as he needs it. Put several in his crib so he can find them on his own. Being attached to a pacifier allows him to sooth oneself and down the road is easier to phase out than trying to break the thumb sucking habit. My oldest two daughters both used "bahbahs" and one kept it until she was two, the other until she was four but only at night. My youngest daughter didn't want to use one at all. Each child is different so let them do what works for them and you can get enough sleep to be a patient mom in the daytime hours. =)
When my girls got older, we would not allow them to talk with the pacifier as it alters the way the mouth forms words properly. If you doubt me, listen to the speech of a child who talks around a pacifier. The tongue is not placed properly behind the teeth to form the sounds from the front of the mouth. Eventually, we restricted its use to their beds so was only for soothing and sleep. It's tough to see the big picture when a sweet little baby requires so much time, but...allowing your baby to sooth himself helps him learn independence and continue to grow into a healthy individual.
Good luck!
T. (mom of 3 and an advanced degree in Child Development)

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would just let him have is pacifier. My daughter had hers until she was 2 years old. It's a myth that it will ruin their teeth. I used to hear so many stories about how a pacifier would ruin their teeth. My daughter's teeth are fine. You can also try to cut the top of the pacifier that's what we did when she turned 2.

A.M.

answers from Pueblo on

I have a 2 year old and 1 year old twins. All of my kids have done that to me, and i fell for it a few times, but i was not about to exaust myself because they wanted the pacifier put in their mouth at 3am! I would give them the pacifier once, but if they took it out again and started to cry, I would let them cry it out. They have to learn that you are not going to come in every time they drop it! Be consistent, and after only a night or so, they will stop this behavior! I stopped giving my son his pacifier when he was 18 months, and just took it away. He cried the first night, and that was it! Good luck!

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