Over-Emotional/Cautious Son

You have been getting some good advice from other posters. If trying a few things on your own doesn't seem to help, I would definitely look at info on sensory processing disorder. "The Out-of-Sync-Child" is a good book (it helped me a lot with my son) although in your situation I would recommend starting with a book called "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Dr. Elaine Aron. I haven't read it but it comes highly recommended. I wouldn't seek any assessment until you have done a little background so that you can advocate for your child and have a sense of what, if any, services might help. We had great luck with occupational therapy in the case of my son with sensory processing issues.

Good luck. I know there are people who will say not to worry and that everybody is different. But I think when a child's relationships are being so affected that it is worth helping where possible.

He's at the age where it may be hard for him to express his feelings other than the reactions he gets when he cries. Saying that, have you tried to get him to express his hurt, angry, etc feelings in other ways (i.e. drawing pictures, writing, role playing, expressing self through a doll or action figure he likes, etc.). Sometimes if you can remove the feelings from him and have him express it through another means it may eventually sink in that it's not that "severe" or allow him to realize how if "feels" to be on the receiving end of crying Josh. Also, I see that you have younger boys, any chance he is picking up on the younger boys. I know my daughter has started imitating her younger sister at times!?!!? Just a thought. Does he have a male role model in his life? Also, you talked with your doctor about a nerve disorder, but have you ever talked with him or asked him to refer you to someone (like a psychologist) about the emotional part your talking about. If your truly concerned I would push the idea with your doctor. Questions he may/should ask are if he has impulsive emotional tendencies towards ALL feelings (does he get SO excited he doesn't handle it well, how does he do with change, etc.) Coming from an educational standpoint, there are many social/emotional disabilies that he could be dealing with that he can't or doesn't know how to control. Also, if you don't seem to be getting anywhere with your doc, try talking to school staff (teachers, counselors, Special Ed teachers-they know a lot, and can help narrow down possibilies without "labeling" your child..they are there as a resource! Hopefully some of this is helpful.

First, I would like to commend you for believing your son. I mean by that, not thinking he's "doing this" on purpose for some reason. I know people will often try to tell other moms such things about any problem their child is having—you know, the “he just wants attention” type thing. But a mom knows when their child is just being his genuine self.

If I were you I would not yet abandon the idea that something is going on with him. Perhaps he doesn't have a rare neurological disorder (although you would likely have to see a specialist as apposed to a G.P. to find out) but rather a relatively common but frequently misdiagnosed problem called Sensory Integration Dysfunction or Sensory Processing Disorder.

I first realized that sensory issues were what my child was dealing with when I read the book "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A. I would highly encourage you read up on this and have him screened, as there are many helpful things you can do to address and resolve his issues which would free him to experience the more “normal” and “carefree” childhood you're hoping for him (as well as reduce the stress on Mom of dealing with a high-need child!)

Here are some (hopefully helpful) weblinks for you. Good luck!

http://school.familyeducation.com/sensory-integration/par...

http://www.comeunity.com/disability/sensory_integration/i...

The book at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0399531653/comeuni...

My five year old daughter sounds like that. What I do is I tell her "Lillie, what is wrong." So she will tell me and if It is something really small I just ask her Well, does it hurt and she says no and I ask her is it really something to cry about? and usually she will stop and think about it and say no. If it something big though I will give her a hug and comfort her and let her cry for a little bit. This has seemed to help alot. Good luck!

This is just a suggestion, and I don't know if you are doing this or not, but I would suggest not going to him right away if he's crying. I would ask what is wrong and then if it is really nothing, let him get over it. If it is something a little more serious, then I would try comforting him. He may be getting a positive reinforcement from you if you are giving him attention every time he cries - it teaches him to cry to get attention. If it is bad enough, maybe try to go to a developmental psychologist or child psychiatrist.

Hi L.
it sounds like your son may have sensory defensiveness which will cause a lot of what you were telling us if you would like to have him tested Special children's center in Hudson WI is amazing at helping these children there phone number is ###-###-####.Just tell you want your son evaluated. They do take most insurance company's. Good luck I know this can be difficult to work through.T.

There are a lot of great books out there about "emotional intelligence" that might be helpful. I think it is very important to listen to him and not dismiss his concerns. If you are a stay at home mom I would recommend finding an ECFE class about emotional intelligence. Anxiety and sensory integration disorders are also on the rise lately in children. It might not be a bad idea to have him checked out by a professional. A therapist or occupational therapist might be able to help him. When my oldest son was that age he had some mild anxiety and sensory issues and I found all of the above to be very helpful. Good luck.