64 answers

Note from Teacher "Attached to Child"

Ok, so I have watched a clip from a news crew about a child being sent home with a note from the teacher stapled to his shirt, is this a practice? Have your kids had this done to them? Is this something that you think is wrong or ok? I am on the fence based on the story that I saw (one sided pretty much) I do not agree wiht how it was done but I am not entirely against it either (I think). I understand the reason was because the teacher thought the mother had not gotten other notes sent home and wanted to ensure this was received but I am on the fence looking for other points of view on this subject.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

When I worked in daycare we had parents who would never remember diapers for their kids so we had to borrow constantly from other babies. I started writing "Need Diapers" on their diaper so when they got home and changed their kid they would remember.

6 moms found this helpful

As a teacher, stories like this frustrate me!! What the teacher did was completely out of line, but I am so tired of the media spreading stories like this. Where are the stories about the teachers out there that work their tails off for students? The public never hears about the positives that many teachers bring about. What about the student that has hated school but finds the one teacher that can instill that spark and make him fly? What about the teachers that push and push kids to do more, be more, and achieve more? What about the teachers that increase a student's confidence to know she can do anything? I really wish more of these teachers were talked about on the news, not just the ones that give the rest of us a bad name.

5 moms found this helpful

Sounds like the teacher was getting desperate, and it is quite possible previous notes weren't making it home. For a child in early elementary years, this doesn't seem unreasonable. If the child was older, he'd probably remove the note out of embarrassment and put it in his pocket, but he might remember to get that note to his parents. (I'd prefer a safety pin to a staple, though, because it would be less likely to damage the shirt.)

I didn't see the story, but even today, not all parents have email, and some adults are extremely anxious about talking on the phone (I used to be, and now we have a whole generation who'd rather text than talk).

Children tend to "feel" about an issue the way adults frame it emotionally. If a pinned note is presented as a practical solution, that's how he's likely to see it. Problem solved, until he shows he has a better ability to handle it some other way. If parent or teacher frames it as a shameful or punitive experience, then he'll probably feel that way. It's so important for parents to shine the best light on a child's experience so he can learn good "happiness hygiene."

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I agree, this isn't the best method of communication.

That being said, I have been an educator for 13 years. There have been many, many, many times that it is almost impossible to make contact with a parent. Now, mind you, I taught 5th graders. Many of them went home on their own and were definitely expected to be more responsible than a pre-k, K, 1st grade child. You didn't say how old the child was so I don't know what level of responsibility the child should have had.

There are parents out there, I'm not making this up, that provide incorrect phone numbers on purpose. There are numerous parents that have provided the school with a fake address. There are parents that grab their child at the end of the day and make a break for it. There are so many families that still do not own computers or have consistent access to the internet.

There are also so many parents out there that might be working three jobs, have three kids, and are getting three hours of sleep at night. That is not to say that they shouldn't be responding to teachers, principals....., but it happens.

I have seen lots of little ones leave school with notes pinned to their clothing. Not stapled, pinned. Many parents do not look in their child's backpack for notices.

I could go on and on. Is this behavior on both sides alright?? No, but I doubt that a note home, attached to a child's shirt, caused any psychological damage to the child unless it had some type of slur or negative comment written in red and in big letters for all to see. I understand not wanting to make holes in clothing, but come on. We all know our kids do way more damage to their clothing than a staple would and I'm sure the teacher probably affixed the paper right at the end of the day and that this notice was important whatever it was.

I'm not trying to take sides, but I like to look at things from both perspectives.

Peace.

11 moms found this helpful

I feel very strongly about something like this.
I have a friend who taught 2nd grade. She is a phenomenal teacher and a wonderful caring thoughtful person.
She had a student who was having trouble. She sent email to the parents -- no answer. She called the phone numbers -- no response. She sent notes home in the back pack - the backpack was never checked and the note sat unread in the backpack for 2 weeks. She finally taped a note to the child's sweater.
Why? Because the parents refused to respond to her.
The school system fired her. They fired her because she was trying to reach the parents. Because she was a caring teacher. They fired her because the parents said they'd sue because the note taped (not stapled) to his sweater damaged his psyche. He was at after school care - not one person removed the note from the sweater, so obviously nobody thought the note was wrong.... Heck, I went home with notes pinned to my sweater when I was a kid -- so that the note would make it home. (We walked.. no backpacks, just lunch boxes.) Sometimes the notes were from the teacher and sometimes they were from the office - my mother was PTA Chair. But still... it was a note pinned to my sweater.

SO - Yes... staple away! Parents need to pay attention. They need to read the notes and the emails. They need to return the phone calls. It's not the teacher's job to raise your children. It her job to teach your child to the best of her ability. It's the parent's job to support her in that endeavor.

LBC

8 moms found this helpful

Ha! I actually laughed when I read this. Not a bad idea. ;) Just kidding.

I teach at a school where sometimes it is impossible to reach parents. Email is my communication of preference, but many parents do not have email. Next I try calling parents. Many times phones are disconnected or the phone number is wrong. Then I try work numbers. Same issues. The parents don't work there, the number is out of service, or some other problem. Then I will have the student (high school student) call the parent while I'm standing with them. They will say the parent doesn't have a working phone. I will mail a letter home. The letter will be returned because the family no longer lives at the address. This scenario happens all the time. I just document everything because sooner or later I will have a parent want to know why I didn't contact them to let them know their student was failing. Maybe I should try stapling a note . . .

Again, just kidding.

6 moms found this helpful

When I worked in daycare we had parents who would never remember diapers for their kids so we had to borrow constantly from other babies. I started writing "Need Diapers" on their diaper so when they got home and changed their kid they would remember.

6 moms found this helpful

Well, color me surprised once again! I am shocked that a Mom would get up-in-arms about this. Good Heavens...if you've got the extra time and energy to become mad/livid/etc. about this, consider yourself truly blessed! I know I've got bigger issues in my life to be concerned about. I would never get upset about a note pinned, stapled, taped to my child. The teacher could fold it into a paper hat and have my child wear it home for all I care.

Is the child really going to care that much? Only if the Mom over-reacts. And these kids will grow into the type of adult who will sue everyone over anything that goes wrong for them. (Like suing the local Mall because she walked into the fountain when she was texting and wasn't paying attention.)

6 moms found this helpful

As a teacher, stories like this frustrate me!! What the teacher did was completely out of line, but I am so tired of the media spreading stories like this. Where are the stories about the teachers out there that work their tails off for students? The public never hears about the positives that many teachers bring about. What about the student that has hated school but finds the one teacher that can instill that spark and make him fly? What about the teachers that push and push kids to do more, be more, and achieve more? What about the teachers that increase a student's confidence to know she can do anything? I really wish more of these teachers were talked about on the news, not just the ones that give the rest of us a bad name.

5 moms found this helpful

Okay, well I agree a safety pin would have been a much better choice, but the concept of attaching the note to the clothing...I get it. I'm sure the teacher was desperate. Sometimes stuff needs to be seen, and thank goodness all the moms who responded are looking in their kids backpacks, signing their planners and otherwise communicating effectively with their kids' schools....but there are many that aren't. As a semi-retired teacher I saw our K teachers do this a lot...would I have done it to my 3rd grader, probably not (I don't know how old the child is question was), but maybe! I worked in a setting where I had multiple parents a year who didn't look at the assignment notebook/planner...even though it was required. I had people who never returned my calls or changed their phone number and didn't tell the school...

I think that pinning a note to a child should not be the first round of communication, but in the end, you have to do what you have to do, and if you're out of options, go for the obvious.

5 moms found this helpful

I am almost 39. I clearly remember my 1st grade teacher attaching notes to our clothes with paper clips. Every Friday a note would go home with us, attached to us.

4 moms found this helpful

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