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Note from Teacher "Attached to Child"

Ok, so I have watched a clip from a news crew about a child being sent home with a note from the teacher stapled to his shirt, is this a practice? Have your kids had this done to them? Is this something that you think is wrong or ok? I am on the fence based on the story that I saw (one sided pretty much) I do not agree wiht how it was done but I am not entirely against it either (I think). I understand the reason was because the teacher thought the mother had not gotten other notes sent home and wanted to ensure this was received but I am on the fence looking for other points of view on this subject.

What can I do next?

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When I worked in daycare we had parents who would never remember diapers for their kids so we had to borrow constantly from other babies. I started writing "Need Diapers" on their diaper so when they got home and changed their kid they would remember.

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As a teacher, stories like this frustrate me!! What the teacher did was completely out of line, but I am so tired of the media spreading stories like this. Where are the stories about the teachers out there that work their tails off for students? The public never hears about the positives that many teachers bring about. What about the student that has hated school but finds the one teacher that can instill that spark and make him fly? What about the teachers that push and push kids to do more, be more, and achieve more? What about the teachers that increase a student's confidence to know she can do anything? I really wish more of these teachers were talked about on the news, not just the ones that give the rest of us a bad name.

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Sounds like the teacher was getting desperate, and it is quite possible previous notes weren't making it home. For a child in early elementary years, this doesn't seem unreasonable. If the child was older, he'd probably remove the note out of embarrassment and put it in his pocket, but he might remember to get that note to his parents. (I'd prefer a safety pin to a staple, though, because it would be less likely to damage the shirt.)

I didn't see the story, but even today, not all parents have email, and some adults are extremely anxious about talking on the phone (I used to be, and now we have a whole generation who'd rather text than talk).

Children tend to "feel" about an issue the way adults frame it emotionally. If a pinned note is presented as a practical solution, that's how he's likely to see it. Problem solved, until he shows he has a better ability to handle it some other way. If parent or teacher frames it as a shameful or punitive experience, then he'll probably feel that way. It's so important for parents to shine the best light on a child's experience so he can learn good "happiness hygiene."

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I agree, this isn't the best method of communication.

That being said, I have been an educator for 13 years. There have been many, many, many times that it is almost impossible to make contact with a parent. Now, mind you, I taught 5th graders. Many of them went home on their own and were definitely expected to be more responsible than a pre-k, K, 1st grade child. You didn't say how old the child was so I don't know what level of responsibility the child should have had.

There are parents out there, I'm not making this up, that provide incorrect phone numbers on purpose. There are numerous parents that have provided the school with a fake address. There are parents that grab their child at the end of the day and make a break for it. There are so many families that still do not own computers or have consistent access to the internet.

There are also so many parents out there that might be working three jobs, have three kids, and are getting three hours of sleep at night. That is not to say that they shouldn't be responding to teachers, principals....., but it happens.

I have seen lots of little ones leave school with notes pinned to their clothing. Not stapled, pinned. Many parents do not look in their child's backpack for notices.

I could go on and on. Is this behavior on both sides alright?? No, but I doubt that a note home, attached to a child's shirt, caused any psychological damage to the child unless it had some type of slur or negative comment written in red and in big letters for all to see. I understand not wanting to make holes in clothing, but come on. We all know our kids do way more damage to their clothing than a staple would and I'm sure the teacher probably affixed the paper right at the end of the day and that this notice was important whatever it was.

I'm not trying to take sides, but I like to look at things from both perspectives.

Peace.

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I feel very strongly about something like this.
I have a friend who taught 2nd grade. She is a phenomenal teacher and a wonderful caring thoughtful person.
She had a student who was having trouble. She sent email to the parents -- no answer. She called the phone numbers -- no response. She sent notes home in the back pack - the backpack was never checked and the note sat unread in the backpack for 2 weeks. She finally taped a note to the child's sweater.
Why? Because the parents refused to respond to her.
The school system fired her. They fired her because she was trying to reach the parents. Because she was a caring teacher. They fired her because the parents said they'd sue because the note taped (not stapled) to his sweater damaged his psyche. He was at after school care - not one person removed the note from the sweater, so obviously nobody thought the note was wrong.... Heck, I went home with notes pinned to my sweater when I was a kid -- so that the note would make it home. (We walked.. no backpacks, just lunch boxes.) Sometimes the notes were from the teacher and sometimes they were from the office - my mother was PTA Chair. But still... it was a note pinned to my sweater.

SO - Yes... staple away! Parents need to pay attention. They need to read the notes and the emails. They need to return the phone calls. It's not the teacher's job to raise your children. It her job to teach your child to the best of her ability. It's the parent's job to support her in that endeavor.

LBC

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Ha! I actually laughed when I read this. Not a bad idea. ;) Just kidding.

I teach at a school where sometimes it is impossible to reach parents. Email is my communication of preference, but many parents do not have email. Next I try calling parents. Many times phones are disconnected or the phone number is wrong. Then I try work numbers. Same issues. The parents don't work there, the number is out of service, or some other problem. Then I will have the student (high school student) call the parent while I'm standing with them. They will say the parent doesn't have a working phone. I will mail a letter home. The letter will be returned because the family no longer lives at the address. This scenario happens all the time. I just document everything because sooner or later I will have a parent want to know why I didn't contact them to let them know their student was failing. Maybe I should try stapling a note . . .

Again, just kidding.

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When I worked in daycare we had parents who would never remember diapers for their kids so we had to borrow constantly from other babies. I started writing "Need Diapers" on their diaper so when they got home and changed their kid they would remember.

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Well, color me surprised once again! I am shocked that a Mom would get up-in-arms about this. Good Heavens...if you've got the extra time and energy to become mad/livid/etc. about this, consider yourself truly blessed! I know I've got bigger issues in my life to be concerned about. I would never get upset about a note pinned, stapled, taped to my child. The teacher could fold it into a paper hat and have my child wear it home for all I care.

Is the child really going to care that much? Only if the Mom over-reacts. And these kids will grow into the type of adult who will sue everyone over anything that goes wrong for them. (Like suing the local Mall because she walked into the fountain when she was texting and wasn't paying attention.)

6 moms found this helpful

As a teacher, stories like this frustrate me!! What the teacher did was completely out of line, but I am so tired of the media spreading stories like this. Where are the stories about the teachers out there that work their tails off for students? The public never hears about the positives that many teachers bring about. What about the student that has hated school but finds the one teacher that can instill that spark and make him fly? What about the teachers that push and push kids to do more, be more, and achieve more? What about the teachers that increase a student's confidence to know she can do anything? I really wish more of these teachers were talked about on the news, not just the ones that give the rest of us a bad name.

5 moms found this helpful

Okay, well I agree a safety pin would have been a much better choice, but the concept of attaching the note to the clothing...I get it. I'm sure the teacher was desperate. Sometimes stuff needs to be seen, and thank goodness all the moms who responded are looking in their kids backpacks, signing their planners and otherwise communicating effectively with their kids' schools....but there are many that aren't. As a semi-retired teacher I saw our K teachers do this a lot...would I have done it to my 3rd grader, probably not (I don't know how old the child is question was), but maybe! I worked in a setting where I had multiple parents a year who didn't look at the assignment notebook/planner...even though it was required. I had people who never returned my calls or changed their phone number and didn't tell the school...

I think that pinning a note to a child should not be the first round of communication, but in the end, you have to do what you have to do, and if you're out of options, go for the obvious.

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I am almost 39. I clearly remember my 1st grade teacher attaching notes to our clothes with paper clips. Every Friday a note would go home with us, attached to us.

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Sounds like the teacher was getting desperate, and it is quite possible previous notes weren't making it home. For a child in early elementary years, this doesn't seem unreasonable. If the child was older, he'd probably remove the note out of embarrassment and put it in his pocket, but he might remember to get that note to his parents. (I'd prefer a safety pin to a staple, though, because it would be less likely to damage the shirt.)

I didn't see the story, but even today, not all parents have email, and some adults are extremely anxious about talking on the phone (I used to be, and now we have a whole generation who'd rather text than talk).

Children tend to "feel" about an issue the way adults frame it emotionally. If a pinned note is presented as a practical solution, that's how he's likely to see it. Problem solved, until he shows he has a better ability to handle it some other way. If parent or teacher frames it as a shameful or punitive experience, then he'll probably feel that way. It's so important for parents to shine the best light on a child's experience so he can learn good "happiness hygiene."

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**EDIT**I know I already responded to this question, but I went back and read most of the responses and just wanted to add; to all of the wonderful moms out there who DO have email, a working phone, heck a place to live, that is great! However, (and I didn't realize this until this year; first year teaching and I'm in the highest poverty school in the city) some children do not even have a home. Out of seventeen kids, I have four living in a shelter. I don't know the story behind this, but I would HOPE that the teacher was just trying to make sure a note got home. There are times when I wish I could write it with permanent marker or something that won't wash off of those kids hehe :) Pride is a huge thing with my kids, so I would absolutely not do this, no matter what grade. I do feel maybe it is kind of degrading. What my kids like is to make a construction paper chain and write the note, then staple it to make a bracelet. Of course, sadly, there are crappy teachers out there, but I really do hope that this teacher just wasn't thinking and was frustrated. So, I guess I just want to point out that things almost everyone on this site take for granted are not things everyone has. Sadly, I can honestly say some of my kids parents do NOT care at all. The kids know this too. So thanks for all of you wonderful moms :) Sorry to reply again, I just wanted some people to think about it from that point of view, when there is just no other form of communication. It really makes my day to see so many caring family's out there because this year, I have really started to wonder haha :)

As a teacher, I wouldn't do this, but I can totally see why the teacher would possibly do this. I teach 4th grade and I have five out of 17 phone numbers for parents' that actually work. Kids don't know parents' numbers because they change all of the time. Addresses change CONSTANTLY, and only one parent has email. There is only so much you can do. What we do if there is a big issue (which is almost daily hehe) is make house calls :) (This is a neighborhood school; most like within two blocks) That being said, I for sure don't go by myself...no matter what neighborhood I was in. So, I do see the reasoning behind it. I wouldn't do it because #1, it would make my kiddos very angry, #2; they will rip it off (either in front of me or the minute they hit the door), and #3, it would leave a hole.

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I would be upset if the note were stapled... but I came home with notes PINNED to me all the time. And the year my son was in public K, he did as well.

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kindergarten or first grade.......no big deal

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In this day and age eveyrone walks on pins and needles. its crazy. I remember kids getting 'the paddle' at school. Pink slips were "mailed" home. (not given to me to bring home...why would I show that??) Teacher was worried the boy was not showing mom his progress reports that the parents were asking for...why didnt the parents go pick them up? dont they have parent/teacher meetings anymore? I dont know...I was kind of thinking there is some piece of the puzzle I am not seeing. Seems like the kid has had conduct issues in the past that were not getting addressed...I sensed a disconnect with the school/parent relationship. They maybe shouldnt have stapled a note to his shirt, but I feel like the parent should have been more involved instead of blaming the teacher for psychological damage...what a joke. (sorry if my opinion was harsh...but I have alot of friends who are teachers and trying to get through to parents is like pulling teeth for them and I can see them get frustrated because they are passionate about teaching kids)...I guess I just dont understand why any parent would not want to be 150% involved in their childs day to day.

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I didn't see the story, but my opinion, if this happened to my child, would be based on a couple of things. There are only a few teachers that I have not liked over the years - I've been lucky to have some wonderful teachers, or just okay teachers. Only a few bad or really difficult ones. If the teacher was one that I got along with and liked, who seemed to care about my child, I would not be offended. In fact, if I had gotten letters and had done nothing, I woud have been ashamed of myself and seen the reasoning behind it. If my child had conveniently "forgotten" to give me the letters, my child would be in trouble.

However, if this were one of the few teachers I've had and didn't like, I would be livid. The teachers I had problems with were not nice to my children. Then I would believe it was a way to act ugly all over again to them.

There you go!
D.

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my great grandmother was a special education teacher and an elementary school principal in her lifetime... and it was not uncommon in her stories that she would mention "pinning" notes to the shirts of kids in the lower grades so they wouldn't forget to get them to their mothers.

Stapling could damage a nice shirt, so I would see how a perent could be bothered... but if the child cannot remember to get a note home...

In my opinion, it IS a little old fashioned. Usually you would only do this with kids who always forget to get memos to their parents... not every kid in the class or anything. I think old fashioned is sometimes not a bad thing, and if a kid really was embarrassed about the note... they would rip it off!

now- if the child was in middle school or highschool... THAT is overkill! Teachers are not the enemy, they are just trying to be practical!

-M.

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My daughter comes home sometimes with reminder stickers for events on her shirt. I have to admit (secretly to you guys), it rubbed me the wrong way. My daughter isnt a little bulletin board, shes a person. I would never admit that openly though, considering its not really a big deal. But I didnt love it. I might be upset about someone stapling a note to my kid. Uh, no. Not cool.

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My daughter's teacher sends notes home in her folder and also via email. They've also called my cell when she wasn't feeling well. I'd be pretty ticked off if they stapled a note to my child's clothing. No need to ruin a good shirt. If the teacher had sent a note previously without response and doubted the note made it home to the parents then a simple email or phone call is in order.

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Oh for goodness sake that's a little crazy. Pick up the phone. I mean honestly, is it that hard to figure these things out? One of my children never brings things home, so I communicate with teachers via e-mail or phone.

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I am a teacher, and this is NOT okay. This could get the teacher fired or written up at the very least. It is NOT okay for the teacher to do this!

If the teacher didn't think the mom got the message than he/she should have made a phone call or sent an email. This is absolute laziness on the teacher's part and it makes me angry to know that people like that are probably keeping there jobs while amazing teachers are being let go because of these budget cuts.

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I remember they used a straight pin to pin important notes to us. This was in 1980. I don't think it bothered me?
I wouldn't care about this now. I'd probably be annoyed though if it ruined an expensive piece of clothing. But as far as dignity goes, Meh, call a spade a spade, kids loose stuff.

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I remember having them pinned to my shirt with a safety pin, the staple is kind of iffy. Every one in the class had them, and I was in Kindergarten, and it was also way before email. Starting to remember what the ditto paper used to smell like!

I think a pin would have been better, but I can understand the teacher needing some response from Mom and Dad, some people do not have phones or computers. I used to put together a phone directory for our elementary school, and you would be surprised how many people are just impossible to get in touch with if you send something with thier kid, and incidentally, these are frequently the same people without email or phones/good phone numbers. Just my two cents.

M.

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I remember having a note pinned to my shirt. We thought it was cool as kids! You could get it pinned to your backpack too, if you had one.

I would only be concerned about the staple ruining the clothes. I think it's a pretty common practice. We'd get kids with notes pinned to them at after school daycare. We would unpin them so they could play, and put them in their cubby. Then we'd hand them to the parent when they were picked up. None of the parents I remember were upset about it. Quite a few kids did not WANT us to unpin the note because they liked it!

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My first thought was, good grief, really, a teacher did this. However, after reading some of the responses, it is quite possible, that the parents were ignoring every other type of communication and this was the last resort. If last resort is the case, it kind of serves the parents right, if the staple ruins the shirt. Hope that doesn't sound mean, but really, communication is so important!

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I just watched that video too. I wouldn't want my kid's clothing damaged by stapling, BUT if my kid had many reminders to behave and wasn't doing so, I would have zero problems with the embarrassment factor. I'm not sure sending discipline notes home with a small child is a good idea. Better the teacher calls or emails the parents directly if she feels the behavior warrants parent notification. I do think the boy's Mom is over-reacting, and she needs to focus on the reason the note was written and not how it was delivered. It's another case of "let's demonize the teacher and school administration, my kid was so wronged" instead of parents backing what little discipline the schools are still willing to enforce.

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I don't think it should be stapled but maybe safety pinned or taped would be ok. Or what about picking up a phone and communicating...seems we've forgotten how!

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Im hoping the concern here is the use of the staple and not the note being attached...I would probably be annoyed at a staple in my childs clothes, but not a pin. Though some people staple their pant hem, so maybe she didnt think twice, or it a big deal.

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I don't see the big deal.
When I was young, even when my kids were young, it was fairly commom to pin a note to a kid's shirt.
As for me, I never had a backpack. Just a lunch box. Who knew what might happen with a note in a lunch box between home and school
I was raised, and raised my kids before the e-mail thing. And, even having backpacks didn't mean I would see a note sent home. Permission slips for field trips, for some reason, were ones that either got left in desks or fell out on the way home.
I've worked at places that would not allow me to accept phone calls for personal business and sure....there was no real promise the note would be on my kid by the time I got home from work. But the daycare provider or someone could intercept it for me.
This may seem archaic in some regards, but I don't think it's completely out of line or abusive. It's a practice that goes back many generations. I don't remember ever feeling bad about it, if a note was stuck to me.
I always assumed it was more about me remembering it was there so I wouldn't lose it and make sure my mom got it.
We stick post-it notes all over everything, but those can come off easily.
It's just a way of reminding, which we all do for ourselves as adults when you think about it.
I don't see any trauma or harm to it.

Just my opinion.

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I would be upset if the note was stapled, simply because staples make holes in the fabric. My kids' Kindergarten and 1st grade teachers both have often sent home sticker notes on their shirts. For instance, sometimes they will have a label stuck on that reminds parents that the next day there is no school. I actually appreciate it because I see the notice and it won't get lost in the mountain of papers they bring home. As long as they aren't sending home a communication about poor performance I think it is fine. I also think it should be limited to younger children; I mean, by third or fourth grade they should be a bit more responsible and can pass the message on.

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I'm surprised to hear, in this age of email, that teachers are still sending home notes written on paper...

But I guess if notes was how this teacher communicated and the parent had ignored previous attempts at communication, the teacher must have tried to *guarantee* the parent would get THIS note. Poor kid, having to be embarrassed just because his parents ignored all the other notes...

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There have been times when I have wanted to staple a note to my son so that his teacher would get it because he is quite "forgetful"...but then I remember I have a computer and her email address and I also have the phone number to the school. I think it would be awfully degrading for any child to have a note stapled to them...just my opinion.

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Stapled to his shirt? Thats awful! I don't think thats regular practice. I have seen a note safety pinned to a child before because they routinely left notes for mom or dad in their cubby/ or lost it, but never stapled! This also was arranged btw the parents and the teacher so the note would get home. So I don't know what to say other than they really shouldn't have stapled it. Also, why not safety pin it to the inside of the backpack or something? I would be upset with any teacher doing this to my child. What was the end result with the child???

M

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I used to teach first grade in an area when there was not a lot of parent involvement. It was a very low income area and either the parents didn't care, or the ones that did care were working many jobs just to stay a float and while they might have had the best of intentions, they were not the most involved in their child's education. Even in my first year I learned real quick that parents were not getting the notes I was sending home. I would "sticker" the kids when I knew it was something that I wanted the parents to see and know about. I actually had a few parents thank me for it. I wouldn't staple a note to a child, because I would be afraid that it would ruin the clothing, but I have stapled a note around a backpack strap before.

UPDATE:
I just wanted to add a little something to address many posters saying this is just the "LAZY" of the teacher. That the teacher should call or email instead. This is much easier said than done. In 4 years that I worked at the school I was at (before staying home with my kids) I had maybe 10 parents that even had email addresses, 90% of the kids at that school (my husband still teaches there) do not have computers at home. And I would have a list of phone numbers for each child at the begining of the year and by Nov. the numbers for many if not most of the children would be disconnected. In fact many notes I sent home were regarding getting a way to contact a parent in case of emergency!
Most teachers are not out to GET your child, most of them care about kids! Parents like some of you are the reason I am thankful every day to not be teaching anymore and my husband is applying everywhere he can think of to get out of teaching. And we are both awesome teachers, it's mostly the parents and all the extra BS that makes it not worth it. That is why so many teachers are leaving. I'm scared to think of what children are going to be left with in schools.

Sorry for the rant, but I am so tired of teachers being attacked constantly, for obviously doing what that teacher thought was best at the time.

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I don't have a problem with it, especially if the child has a problem getting the notes home, which often happens. I think there are probably cute, less embarrassing ways to do it, but I don't have an issue with it.

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When I was little (60's) this was commonplace. It made sure the parents got the note. It's nothing to get offended about.

Kids were NOT bothered by the note attached to them. I even have a kindergarten photo with the note attached to me. Kids have to learn to have a thicker skin than that.

Note: I didn't say that every practice that was commonplace back then was a good one. I don't believe that a principal swatting kids on their open palms with a ruler is a good thing, for instance.

But really moms, this is nothing. My point is that kids were not bothered by the note. The only people who seem to be bothered are the moms. Freaking out over a note is teaching your child to be overly sensitive and defensive. Not a good life lesson.
.

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My kid's teacher pins stuff on him all the time. It doesn't work half of the time though because he stays in an after school care and takes it off before I pick him up. I am pretty good at checking his backpack though. I now have a nice collection of little safety pins. :)

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I can't see why this would be necessary. Call or email. Ruining a shirt or putting something (staple) on a shirt that could potentially hurt a child is not okay by me. But this is a news story and not something that happened to someone you know, right? I work in an elementary school and there are plenty of kids whose parents don't go thru their folders, don't find important notices, and at some point, the teacher will usually call or email the parent to tell them that they need to check that folder regularly

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OH good grief!

My daughter's Teachers, attach a note to their HOMEWORK folder, with a staple.
That works.

But yes, MANY parents, DO NOT AT ALL, look at their kid's homework folder nor the papers they bring home. So I do understand, this Teacher's reasoning. BUT, that does not ensure, that the parent will get the note, if stapled to their clothing, anyway. Because, a kid can rip it off or change their clothes, before their parent comes home.

If a parent is not reading the papers/notes/homework that their child brings home, that is neglectful of the parent.
Then the Teacher needs to speak to the Parent, about it.
AND the Teacher CAN reach the parent, by phone call or e-mail.
My Daughter's Teachers, have ALL contacted me if need be, by phone or e-mail. Even way past their work day. From home.

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Absolutely ridiculous and that teacher would owe my child a new shirt! No excuse! The teacher could email the parent, call the parent, mail a letter, etc Call the parent in for a conference....no excuse to STAPLE a note to them! how unbelieveable!

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I, also, just saw that video on Yahoo. My opinion is that the teacher was wrong. There are other ways of letting parents know of behavioral issues at school. Phone calls? Parent teacher meetings? There are plenty of better ways to deal with the situation. We already label our kids (mainly boys) as "bad", "add", "hyperactive", ect. The note on the kid is basically a "scarlet letter" for misbehavior!

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Uhm...I was THAT kid that had notes pinned to her jacket. I was forever losing the notes and my mom never got them. So, more than a few teachers resorted to pinning notes.

I really don't see the big deal. We all like to THINK are kids are responsible and will ALWAYS bring notes home (and turn in homework), but I'm the 41 year old testament that that's not always the case.

Was I horribly scarred by it? Not in the least. A bit embarrassed? Yes. Did it help me remember...sometimes...at least for awhile.

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I think the teacher could have handled it better...email, phone call to parent, note in the child's folder, or even a sticker on the shirt would all have been better. Why did the teacher not call the parent? My son's (1st grade) teacher will email you or call if there is something she wants to talk to you about.

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I would have been angry with this. Kids can be mean and this would obviously humiliate the child. Pick up the phone...don't pick on the kid!

1 mom found this helpful

ive had my daughter come home with a "sticker" at the beginning of 1st grade, but never since. I would be a little peeved about a stapled note.....clothes are expensive! Im sure to find it when i ruffle through her homework, folders or redo her lunch for the next day if they could put it in there.

I imagine though that there are children that wake up on their own, make their own breakfast,ride the bus, get the free lunch at school, and their parents dont even see their papers.....in which case an attached note of some relevance in important in needing to pass info...I suppose even the most uninvolved or busy parent will see that and read it.

I think it's a little odd, talk about ruining a shirt... but I also don't like it that my son's 1st grade teacher stamps or colors on his hand everyday if he is good, I have always told my kids NOT to use the markers anywhere other than paper...but whataya gonna do?

Hi K.,
I watched the news about this issue this morning and I was wondering the same thing. As a parent I don't think it was anything wrong with sending a note home. However, I thiink she should/could have went about it in a different manner. The teacher said she thought the child wasn't showing his mother the notes. My child is in 3rd grade, I still check his folder, and we have to sign the behavior sheet so the teacher know we did see it. Maybe the teacher could have sent an email, or called home. I don't think she should have stapled the note, she could have used a pin to attach the note; or maybe made a necklace out of the note. Sorry for writing so much. Have a good day.

Um yea, that teacher would be repaying me the cost of that shirt and I'd be complaining to the principle, school board etc.

And just because this used to be commonplace, doesn't mean it's still ok. It was also commonplace to let little kids ride in the car standing up, in the front seat, without a car seat etc. And all teachers/principles could paddle kids at will.

I teach in a low income area, and most of the notes that I send home are never read. I see them in my students' backpacks the next week. Maybe the teacher just wanted to make sure the parents saw the note.

Any note I've ever received has had to be signed and returned by me. I think the pinning the note to the child is "old school" but I don't see anything wrong with it. I really think this is how parents and teachers used to communicate. However, in today's world if a teacher doesn't get a response from the parent, the next step should be to pick up the phone. I now have a 10th grader and was contacted via email from a teacher this year stating that he wasn't working to his potential. It was perfect timing and a great catch on his part because we were able to correct it in time that his grade didn't suffer.

I remember notes getting pinned to kids when I was little. I can understand the teacher was probably frustrated trying to reach the parent, but stapling is too much. It seems to me that would be done with too much frustration or anger. I can see a pin or clip, but not a staple. That makes her seem a little psycho and lacking control.

With email and cell phones I don't think it is necesarry. Nowadays it is a lot easier to get a hold of someone. If the teacher needs to get a hold of me..she puts a note in my daughter's folder, emails or leaves a message on our cell phone.

I can see this is a hot topic based on the responses. The teacher may not needed to be fired, however this action does seem extreme. I feel it is out of line to staple, pin, tape etc a note to a child. HOW DO YOU THINK THIS MAKE THE CHILD FEEL????? Come on..IF the teacher felt she exhausted all channels to reach the parent it then becomes an ADMINISTRATIVE issue. This teacher should of asked for the help of her team and not went to such extreme measures. Taking your frustations with a parent out on a child is just plain wrong.

signed,
A School Social Worker and Parent

i'm kind of on the fence too, it isn't like a staple would ruin most clothes for ever. and i'm sure the teacher wasn't going to hurt the kid by doing it. AND if parents aren't responsive to normal means like phone or email, then it would sure be tempting,
But.... for some reason it does seem a little disrespectful.
But going to the news crew about it seems awfully extreme too. Just tell the teacher you didn't appreciate it and move on already.
oh and no my kids may have gotten stickers with notes on them but no staples.

I think it was totally inapproppriate for the teacher to do that. There are so many other ways to communicate with a parent. My son's school uses what they call Daily Planners. It is used for the expressed purpose of keeping communication open. Parents are to initial it NIGHTLY so that the teacher knows they are looking at it NIGHTLY. If she needs us to know something, this is where she puts it and vice versa. If she feels that we aren't getting the messages, she will email, then call. JMO, but humiliation & embarrassment are no ways to get children to behave.

I never had one stapled to me, but we did have a note necklace that had to wear some times with a big manilla 4x6 envelope attached to it.

In the preschool our kids attend, the 3 and 4 year old's notes get pinned to their shirts.

Staples would tick me off - sometimes tags get stapled to clothes at the thrift stores, and that is where I shop, so I know for a fact that staples are HARD to get out and can rip the fabric. But I have grown accustomed to the "pinned to the shirt" thing. I was suprised that the 5 yo class didn't do it...

I think having a note attached to your clothing would be about as degrading to a kid as wearing a name tag or a sticker - in other words not at all. As a child I probably wouldn't even realize that it would be something to be concerned about. What the heck is all the fuss about?

That sounds a little extreme to me. My son has a backpack with a folder. Notes are stapled to the folder. There is no reason with email and phones to staple a note to a child's shirt. Just my opinion.

Seems kind of stupid to me. I mean, a kid is gonna get a stapled-on note ripped off and lost just as easily as they get it lost any other way. If I was a teacher I would ask parents for an email address and phone number for contacting. Seems to be easier and more reliable.

The fact that schools once routinely did these sorts of things, doesn't make it right. Children rarely learn what we want them to learn when they feel ashamed. Most adults don't either. Some of the adults that are hard to get ahold of probably had their own experience of being made to feel ashamed at school.

While it's true that some parents can be hard to reach, teachers can set the tone by making a positive connection with each parent in the beginning of the year, and making sure they are not just contacting parents when there is a problem with a student. Schools should be more concerned about whether teachers have the support and time to reach out to families, and less concerned about standardized test scores.

My kindergartener comes home with sticker notes on his clothes. Not sure I would like to see something stapled to his shirt.

I didn't see the video. How old was the child? I am a former teacher and have heard of some kinder teachers pinning not stapling notes to the students. The younger kids seem to lose everything between classroom and home. They like to take papers out to look at them on bus, in car line, or aftercare and almost always the papers don't make it back into book bag. I personally would never pin a note to a child. I would pick up the phone or send an email prior to resorting to that method. I wouldn't like my child to come home that way either.

My husband said when he was in school he peed his pants and teacher pinned a note to his clothes. Maybe it is an old school method.

I would never be OK with something being stapled to my child's shirt. My child is now 16, so when she was in Kindy-early elementary years, it wasn't as common as it is now for email and cell phones. Things have changed alot in 10 years! But phone calls, notes in her back pack, etc were always sufficient then.

If more was needed now, there are the other means mentioned... or even taking some yarn and creating a little lanyard/necklace sort of thing. But to staple into my child's clothing, potentially doing minor damage to the clothes (or more if the child feels any humiliation or being singled out by this and tears at it as soon as they get the chance). Just not OK to me.

Also, what the teachers deem "emergency" might not mean the same to me.

JMO~

ROFL! Was she just unfrozen from 1950 or something? Doesn't she have email?

OMG that teacher probably had tried and tried. I am a teacher and I do not understand why parents think they are too damm busy to look at their kids folder where we make sure all there notes are. they dont sign permission slips and they miss days when they are invited to class. Its only a few parents but its the SAME parents. and I had a friend once who said he always had notes pinned to him in kindergarten.

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