Not Sure When to Plan My Baby's Cesarean!

Greetings M.,

My daughter was born by c-section over the 4th of July weekend back in 02. Because the staff was spread out so thin, and there was an undiagnosed issue with my daughter - There was a delay in delivery that resulted in severe brain damage. I feel that if this was not a holiday weekend, then she might have been born without cerebral palsy.

My advise, have the c-section before the holidays. It will give you more time to recover and enjoy the holidays.

Cheers

I'm actually thinking long term- not just for baby's 1st Christmas. I think, for baby's sake, the later is better. Dec. 19 is a very hectic time, getting ready for Christmas. After Christmas, he or she would be able to have a little more attention focused on them. My nephew has a Dec. 29 birthday - it's kind of nice having a birthday party after all the hoopla, when all of his friends are out of school and can celebrate with him. I know another advice was that people are out of money after Christmas, but it's actually a good time. If you send the invitation out a couple of weeks before, they can shop while doing their Christmas shopping. Also, you can take advantage of Christmas sales for birthday present.
Good luck!!
K.

My husbands birthday is the 26th, he hated it as a kid. Nobody really made a big deal out of it, he got mostly combo birthday/xmas gifts and ate left over xmas food on his birthday. No kids came to his party unless he had it a week or two later. This could all be remedied if it was something his parents had really been aware of though. Hard decision, no doubt.

Hi M.,
My suggestion is to have the baby later with no regard to the date. The baby is in utero for its develpment. A baby born prematurely may have difficulties that staying just a little longer in the womb could prevent. The date of birth is secondary to the baby's health and maturity. HTH

Hi, M.,
This is such an important and volatile decision. You will ultimately make the right decision for you and it will be great! Let me share my experience with you to see if it helps. I had C-sections with both of my children, 4 1/2 years apart. My first c-section was not planned (he was born Dec. 29!) and my second was necessary because she was breech and OBs generally will not allow a VBAC with a breech baby (I believe risk of uterine rupture was the concern). However, I did not plan my second c-section, however and that is one of the things that I would suggest you explore with your doctor. I know, you are saying 'wait just a minute, I want to fulfill my type-A desire to schedule this perfectly, are you crazy'? :) Can you tell I felt that way too initially? :) I was surprised when he agreed to that because I thought scheduling c-sections was standard protocol. So, I moved forward with the plan to let my body go into labor (this let baby decide when it was time so she was fully 'cooked'!), go to the hospital and have a 'controlled c-section'...it wasn't an emergency because although I was in labor, we knew that we were going that route. Of course, it happened in the middle of the night and my OB wasn't on call, so one of his partners performed the surgery. But, again, that was a chance that I was willing to take.

Also, with my son whose bday is 12/29, no, he doesn't get to have a party with his friends because everyone is on vacation, but we are always with family and we have a fun family event - the last two years for his 5th & 6th birthdays, we went to a great bowling center and bowled and played games as a family, which, honestly isn't something we would normally plan during that crazy time of year so we got to bond with our extended family and distract ourselves from the XMAS madness. I have considered having a 1/2 year party for him, but in 6 years, he has yet to complain about not having his friends at his party! Also, Christmas day before he was born was a really special memory for me because my husband and I normally traveled for XMAS and we had an 'excuse' to stay home. We had a quite, peaceful XMAS morning with XMAS music, phone calls to family and thanking God for both his Son and our future son!

Okay, having thrown that at you, my other advice is to be sure that you want to have another c-section. Do your research!! Thankfully, you have time. A successful VBAC is likely. I read and read and re-read literature on this and my conclusion was that there are risks with having a VBAC and c-section. What's interesting is that I don't even remember reading anything about length of time between c-sections, so again, research! My doctor was pretty selective about giving me the 'scary statistics' about the risks of VBAC, but didn't mention much about the risks of a c-section (and there are plenty). Doctors and hospitals have to adhere to standards that work for most people and those standards may or may not be best for you or be your preference. One of your considerations is caring for a 2 year old and a newborn while recovering from a c-section. You will want LOTS of support from hubby, family and friends, so don't forget to ASK!
Well, best of luck to you, M.! I am sure that your baby will be beautiful no matter what! :)

The fact that your children will be less than 2 yrs apart should not matter in your ability to have a vaginal birth or not. I'd do some homework and make sure another cesarean is what you want to choose. Statistics indicate that 70% of women who attempt a VBAC with a supportive caregiver delivery vaginally successfully. Something to think about.

Your recovery from your cesarean , if you choose one again, will be more dificult than a vaginal birth...You need to think about when YOU want to be recovering from surgery as well, not just the baby's birthday... plus you'll need to remember you'll be in the hospital for 4 days minimum after the birth, away from your almost 2 yr old. There's always a risk if there are complications from the surgery or with the baby that you'd have to stay longer.

After reading what others posted I decided to put in my two cents as well.

A planned c-section is completely different than an emergency one. I was so stressed out about a week before my 2nd c-section, I go sick and had to be medicated. The night before the arrival of my daughter, I cried and couldn't sleep. I knew what to expect and thought it would be as bad as the first one. Of course, all cases are different. If this was something I had to decide, I would do it on the 19th. Recover for a few days, then have Christmas. If you do begin to stress out, do you really want to spend Christmas preparing, again, for your baby to come home?

Also, the reason for having a 2nd c-section is b/c your children are so close together. I knew a woman that had a c-section with her first child, then 3 years later had another child. All went well without a c-section the 2nd time around. About 6 weeks later she was dead. It seems that her inner scars ripped during her labor and no one knew it. As soon as I found out what killed her, I told my doctor to plan for a 2nd c-section. I asked him about having another child, and another c-section. He told me as long as they were atleast 5 years apart that I would be fine.

Although I ended up having my tubes tied, I'm greatful I had the 2nd c-section. I knew what to expect and I made sure that I did everything different from the first one. I was actually setting up in bed, without help, about 2 hours after the 2nd c-section. I was up walking around with no IV and a small amount of pain killers about 3 hours after the 2nd c-section.

Hope this helps.

Why would your doctor say that there hasn't been enough time since your last c-section? Did he do something different with yours? There should be no reason you cannot have a VBAC, except for your doctor not liking to do them.

Food for thought...

If you are even thinking about the possibility of a 3rd, and you go for the c-section now, you will have NO choice but to have c-sections with all additional pregnancies.

Hi M.,

Personally, I would choose Dec. 19. What if you went into labor prior to the 26th? My oldest was due on the 28th of Dec. and I am so glad he waited, wasn't born til the 1st of Jan. :) Having a birthday is hard enough during the Christmas holidays, families are usually gone, so who would you invite for a party? Luckily for my son, we had sleepover b-day parties so all the other parents could go out for New Years. :) Good luck with your delivery and I hope you have a beautiful healthy baby.

T.

I say the 19th as then when you celebrate for her entire life its before Christmas, the day after Christmas still feels like Christmas and might take away from her personal birthday or future celebrations, You'll still be recovering but maybe you could have some help for the holiday through 1 or 2 visitors. Mostly your baby will eat and sleep and you can cozy in for the holiday at home with your new bundle of joy. I would limit guests to only the helpful and unsick so your newborn isn't exposed to anything so soon. It would be a great photo time to have more of your family in the pictures too, I don't know if this is your last or if your planning on more, but Makes a great family picture time if your baby is already here.

Best Wishes so exciting, I wish I had a baby to snuggle for Christmas(: Mine are growing like weeds still cute and cuddly just a lot bigger(:

SAHM of twins

OK M., I WILL GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF THINGS TO THINK ABOUT, ALL AN EXPERIENCE I HAVE EXPERIENCED MYSELF. I HAVE AN AUNT WHO IS 80 PLUS, & HER SON WHO BOTH WERE BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY, THRY HATE IT. ALSO HAVE A BEST FRIEND'S SON & A NIECE WHO WERE BORN ON 26TH, THEY HATE IT ALSO. ALL WISH THEY HAD BEEN BORN NOT SO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS, BECAUSE THEY NEVER GET THEIR OWN DAYS. FAMILY TEND TO SAY HEY, "WHILE EVERYBODY IS TOGETHER FOR CHRISTMAS" LETS HAVE BIRTHDAY TOO. COULD YOU MAYBE PUT OFF TIL AFTER 1ST OF YEAR??? SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
HOPE THIS INFORMATION HELPS YOU.
D.

I just have to reply to another poster who told you to research and try for a Vback after your first c-section. If you doctor has suggested another c-section there is good reason. Do not chance it. The complications from trying a vback to early are bad and can be deadly for you and the baby. The risk of hemorrage is very significant since your baby's will be so close together. Oh and make sure you talk to your doctor about the scar tissue. Another poster mentioned her doctor told her it was harder to heal after each c-section because of this. My doctor removed all the old scar tissue with each delivery making the recovery very easy. I know alot of doctors do this becuase it is better for you to remove it. My Sister in Laws doctor did the same thing and her recovery's were very easy as well. Make sure you know when you go in so you can prepare for the healing time.

And her info on the hospital stay is incorrect. For c-section the insurance company says you have to stay at least 48 hours up to 4 days. But they do not generally pay for more than 4 days. I am pregnant right now with my 4th she will be a c-section and and will be born at the beginning of Dec. I have only stayed the recommended 48 yours with both of my youngest. And I was chomping at the bit to get home. Each c-section was easier. I healed much quicker each time. With my youngest we got out of the hospital on a Wednesday evening and Saturday took all the kids to boo at the zoo and walked around all day. I had no pain or anything.

Opt for the earlier date. You will be happier you did and chances are the baby may come before that anyway. I have also noticed the smaller the baby the quicker the healing time. You really don't want to chance going into labor at Christmas when you have no control over.

If you are going to wait until after Christmas, I would wait and let the baby be the first baby of the New Year. Most cities give alot of gifts, etc to the new baby and it's family. And, you start the new year out with a new little blessing.

I would opt for the 26th so that the baby gets to develop inside just a little more! There's such a difference in how happy they are when they come out if they've had lots of time. My first was 3 and a half weeks early and my 2nd was a week early and boy was she easier! Good luck!

I would definitely suggest making it as far from Christmas as possible. Speaking as an almost-Christmas baby (the 23rd) I always found that my birthday was a big disappointment- friends were out of town for the holidays, or since it was so close, people would try to combine the two, making me feel like my birthday wasn't worth the extra effort. I'm over it now, but as a kid, I really hated it! I think the 19th is far enough away to where it won't be as big of a deal. Plus, you have the bonus of that extra little gift on Christmas! I had my daughter on the 21st, and she was the best Christmas present I could have asked for, but a friend of mine, who gave birth right after Christmas, found it really hard to enjoy the day because she just wanted the baby out. Anyway, hope it helps!

For baby health the longer in mommies tummy...the better! My intial thought is that health is so much more important than anything else so I vote after christmas =) but I also think YOU know (or will know)

Best of luck and I also think mamas know best so go with your instinct!!

Thanks for letting us weigh in ;)

Personally, I'd choose the day after Christmas. I think it'd be hard to enjoy Christmas with such a tiny baby that you'll have to be nursing all the time and you'll be short on sleep. I think it'd be nice to let her have this Christmas be all about her and also to have baby's first Christmas be when he's almost one. More fun that way in my opinion. Also, if you do it ahead of Christmas in the future you're going to be planning birthday parties and all that on top of your Christmas things that sometimes get overwhelming as it is. So my choice would be after, but of course it's up to you.

You simply can't compete with our Lord and Savior when it comes to birthday celebrations. Since you have a choice, do your child a favor and plan the c-section as far from Christmas as possible. We Americans tend to exhaust ourselves with Christmas. Dec. 26th is a day of rest (and remorse for some big spenders). I have a near holiday b-day, and I still don't like it! On another note, just because modern medicine gives us the option of VBAC, doesn't mean it's the best for mother and baby. You have a growing family to take care of, so don't underestimate the risks VBAC, to you or your unborn baby.

Why would you want to be the kind of uncomfortable that comes from being due on Christmas? Have the baby before Christmas, and enjoy what Christmas is all about that much more! Besides what if you go into labor, and end up in the hospital Christmas eve, or worse Christmas day? It will throw a wrench into your plans and everyone else close to you as well. Don't take the chance, (do it sooner rather than later! ) most women are ready to get the baby out as soon as possible after a healthy pregnancy duration!

I would wait til after Christmas when things are settling down, but I think the whole thing is kinda funny choosing the date to have a baby hehe!

Hi M.,

My 19 year old was born Dec. 26 and she hates that her birthday is the day after Christmas! My 28 year older was born Dec. 16 and it's not nearly as bad -- at least there is some time between which makes her day seem more special. I would suggest having yours Dec. 19 for the child's sake in the long run. Of course it's your decision. My 19 year old missed being a Christmas baby by 5 1/2 hours. I awoke at 2am with labor pains and she was here at 5:30am! She would have really been unhappy to be born on Christmas! Unfortunately I didn't have a choice. Good luck!

I vote for as close to your due date as possible for the sake of the baby's health. You can always do a big celebration with friends on a half birthday and a small family celebration near the actual date. I have a son with birthday on Dec. 23 and what was important was that he was healthy...no one knew he was around until after the new year, folks were all doing their own things during the Christmas season. It was a quiet time to rest and recover around our place. If you have the birth before Christmas you need to remember you will be recovering during this time and may not want to mess with the trappings (or people) of the Christmas season. Boy that sounds "grinchish"! Hope all goes well for you no matter your decision.

Well, speaking from the point of view of a first child whose younger sibling was born just before Christmas, I remember that particular Christmas as the loneliest of my life. My parents spent all their time at the hospital with her and I was left my grandparents who were busy entertaining their holiday guests. I really missed my family at that time. You might consider giving your oldest one more Christmas at the center of your attention before you bring on the sibling rivalry.

Some background...my birthday is December 24th and I had the same choice to make with my twins! I went with December 18th. Your 2 year old won't remember what kind of Christmas she had so you can keep it low key - since you will be healing. And later on in life I really think that having a birthday a week before Christmas is a little better than the day after. Good luck with your choice and enjoy the new baby!!!

My daughter was due on Christmas day, and I was having a cesarean. My doctor recommended to have the baby prior to Christmas. This way I would be certain not to have an unsceduled Cesarean on Christmas Day, as the staff is limited. Since then I have heard stories from others who had cesarean on Christmas with less than perfect results. Of course this is a decision that your Doctor should help you with.

I know a lot of children who have "Christmas birthdays". Most end up resenting their birthday being so close to Christmas because they feel cheated, because the focus is never on them and "their day"... They are always sharing their birthday with the holiday, getting combined presents, not being able to plan a party around their actual birthday because no one can come. Birthdays are really a big deal to a child. I know one boy who, starting around age 9 told his parents that he decided to celebrate his birthday on Oct 25th... and has ever since...

My 2 cents.... Schedule it around the 19th and give you new child a buffer between their day and Christmas. Its good for their *entire childhood* self-esteem. Besides, I'm not sure your 2 yo will remember much of this Christmas, even if you did delay the C-section to the 26th. The earliest memory that I can recall is maybe when I was 3.5 yrs... and that memory isn't of Christmas. I more clearly recall events and celebrations starting with I was 4. Can you recall anything from when you were 2 or even 3? Perhaps your leaning towards the C-section after Christmas because of the memories *you* want to keep of your daughter's 2nd Christmas...?

Plan it as far away from Christmas as possible so it will truly have his/her own special day. The day after Christmas will some day end up being a "one big gift for both days" and that's not fair. Christmas is a busy time and having a new little one will certainly be challenging, but with proper early planning it'll go OK...that's what Moms do anyway...deal with the situation.

Congrats M.,
Unlike mamy of these responses - I say listen to your doctors advice. You doctor knows you, your baby and has devised a health plan that is best for you both. If he/she gave you a dates and a choice - GREAT! My daughter was 1 week late, so a envy your ablity to have some options. In regards to birthdates, my vote is for BEFORE Christmas. My husbands birthday is Jan 1st...New Year's Day. He hates his birthday, it was never special for him.
Best wishes!

Wait..the closer to the due date or 40 weeks the better. Is not about chossing the birthday, is about health. The longer the baby is inside your womb the better. Congratulations!
My baby will turn 1 year old on dec. 23! We will make sure that every year his celebration is separate from christmas and he will get doble presents.

hi M.,i'd go ahead and have it before Christmas you will be more comfortable ,,,and able to enjoy your 2yr old more ,,the baby will sleep through it all and never now what is going on a birthday the day after Christmas is no fun when she gets a little older ,,,what to get her ect ,,,my best friend's son was born on Christmas now we all give him 2 presents but she did his school partys in the middle of the yr.it was more fun for him that way .
good luck L.

I'm having mine at 39 weeks. If it helps, my doctor told me that 0% of babies have lungs that are fully developed and ready for life outside the womb at 39 weeks, that is why she strongly suggests waiting until you are that far along.

I would ask your doctor what is the safest for your baby.

PS. Alot of folks are suggesting VBAC, I talked to my doctor about it and her response was that it is FAR more risky than a repeat C-section both for mother and baby. To me it wasn't worth the added risk.

try to think about the kids birthday party. my daughters birthday is the 19th. i like it that way. after christmas everyone is always so short on money. your kid will get better gifts.

Good Morning M., this is a tough decision to make. Christmas is my most favorite time of the year and its already such a miraculous time of year so what a way to spend this Christmas than with a miracle of your own, so I think you should have your baby on the 19th. However, I dont know how long it took you to recover from your first c-section, but you also want to consider if you will be able to deal with the Christmas chaos if your still recovering from your surgery. My first c-section, I was up and running around the mall after a week, but my second c-section, it took about 2 weeks before I could comfortably walk around without any pain. According to my Dr. you dont recover as easily from the other c-sections as you do the first because of the scar tissue left from the first so if your concerned about being able to spend quality time with your daughter on Christmas you might want to ask your dr. what he thinks about your recovery process the 2nd time around. Also, one other thing you might want to consider is, depending on your due date, you dont want to schedule your c-section for the 26th and then go into labor early and end up in the hospital during Christmas. My best friend was pregnant with twins and was due January 21st and she ended up going into labor on the 23rd of December and had to spend Christmas in the hospital and she said that she was so miserable because her other children were having to spend christmas without her and her without them. And they could not come up to see her because they had gotten a little cold and because the babies were early, they were not allowed to come so you might want to take that into consideration as well. I hope this has not made things more difficult and Congrats on your newest member.

As long as the doctor came up with this date range, I would suggest having the baby on the 19th. My husband and I were discussing this same issue with our baby being due. We thought he/she would be due around Christmas, but found out that our due date is January 30th. We were thinking of this same issue. My birthday is in early January, and of course Christmas is late December. I have had 2 little ones natually, so it wasn't an issue with a c-section date. It was more an issue of when we'd celebrate baby's birthday (depending on his/her arrival). We decided we would celebrate before Christmas, because he'd feel more like he had a birthday (instead of the birthday being overshadowed by Christmas). That's another thaught. Will your baby feel like he actually has a birthday, or will he feel like his birthday is lost to Christmas?

My birthday is the day after Christmas and is sooo not fun! Everyone is either burned out or out of town. Go with the earlier date. Christmas will always be celebrated and birthdays get pushed to the wayside. So if you have the baby earlier the birthday will always be celebrated and then so will Christmas! Good Luck!

M.--
I say go with the 19th.
I am a Dec 20th baby, and have never minded the date.
My mother always made sure that I had a birthday and birthday presents, like my siblings, but she made it special.
We always put up the outside lights in a timely fashion, but we did not put up the Christmas tree until my birthday.
I always thought it was special to do the tree each year on my day.
One year, when I was 5 or 6, my mother gave me a half year birthday, but I decided that I liked December better.
It was not until I was older, in college and not home from school yet, that some of my presents were combined. I also got pictures with IOU's. We would go shopping at the after Christmas sales and get many things at a better price.
I continued the tradition with my own family. We put up the outside lights, the yard decoration, and decorate the house, but the tree did not go up until the 20th.
This always worked out great, because I was/still am teaching full time, and we usually are out by the 20th, so I can enjoy decorating the tree.
I always feel sad to see the trees out on the 26th for pick up, since they probably have been up since Thanksgiving.
The 2 week period between the 20th and the new year, when I take the tree down, is a nice time that I can sit and enjoy the tree.
My children did 'complain' that everyone else has their tree up, but some times it sounded like bit of 'boasting' because their friends thought it was great to have a special family tradition.
The tree does go up a bit earlier now, since we have a grandaughter living with us, and it is such a joy to see the delight in her face as we put on the lights and hang the ornaments. Everyone has their own storage box of ornaments and a special area on the tree in which they hang the ornaments (and take them down, too).
On the other side of the coin, my son has a Jan 28th BD. So when I am shopping, I also shop for his BD, because the stores and selections are nil, even in late January.
My cousin has a Dec 28th BD, and he is always joking to see if I will switch dates with him.
Congratulations on your new joy, who will probably decide the date for you.

I'd go with the earlier date -- the 19th. I had 2 babies (and they are 21 months apart), both by c-section (both kids were right at 10 lbs). My doctor explained that they prefer to go a little earlier (about 38 weeks) to reduce the chance of you going into labor before the surgery. My 2nd baby was due on Jan. 23, but the doctor suggested a date of Jan. 12 for the section, and we asked for Jan. 17 (the #17 is a lucky number for us). Well, two hours before the scheduled surgery, my water broke! Full-blown labor! We made it and had the c-section, but my doctor told me later that I was a hairs-breadth away from a uterine rupture. I will say my recovery was harder the second time because I was also sore from labor (which apparently I was in for a day and just didn't know, because it was so different than what I felt with baby #1!). So that's my story ... sometimes the baby picks for you, even if you do "schedule"! But to me it's better to go early, presuming you are about 38 weeks then.

My daughter's birthday is Dec. 28th and it still seems really close to Christmas. It's really hard to plan her birthday party because everyone is usually still out of town. I would probably choose the date before Christmas so that you can plan the party for before everyone leaves. I have taken to pushing her party out until after New Years so that her friends are all back in town and can come.

Best of luck in whatever you choose!

I was born Jan 18 and love my First Christmas pictures. Mostly because I look like I enjoyed it. My son was born Jan 14 08 and we are looking forward to him enjoying his first Christmas. I say wait till next year. Good luck with the desision. Flip a coin if you truly cant decide!

I would have the baby on the 19th. Think of your new baby. He or she big day will always be over shadow by Christmas. On the 19th you may actually be able to have a birthday party around the date any later you will not have it on her birthday ever because a lot of people are on holiday.

Dec 19th. I always feel sorry for people whose bdays are the 25th or 26th. Anticlimatic from being on Christmas or no one wants to celebrate on the day after. Just my opinion...either way it will be a joyous day!! Congrats

M.,
I am a mother of 5 children all done by c-section! Go with the earlier date. I was in the same predicament with my middle child, her due date was December 19th and we scheduled my c section for December 12th. They thought she would weigh between 8 pounds and 8.6, well they were WAY off, 10.14!!! I would have had to have a c-section anyway with that size child. The doctor was even in complete shock and yelled during the c-sect, "Oh my gosh, SHE'S A LINEBACKER!!" He meant no disrespect of course. :) I also suggest a c-section after a c-section already has taken place. The second c-section is much easier because you know what to do and you know what to expect, where the first time you are nervous and had no idea what was going on with your body. Hope this helps a little......IMO, I would opt for the earlier date. FYI, my last two children(twins) were taken a MONTH early by c-sect and were 8.6 and 7.9.
Congrats on your precious soon to be arrival!!! Babies are such a joy.....
M.

I am the mother of 2 c-section babies as well. Your doctor would not give you the options of dates if he did not think the baby was developed enough to be able to make that decision. I assume you will be at about 38-39 weeks which will be considered a full term baby. Both of my boys were 10 days earlier than their official due date - which is not always correct. Since you are asking for opinions, I would opt with the earlier date. I felt tons better after my 2nd c-section too. I also consider the little things like birthdays and things as well. I know I would not like it at all if my birthday were the day after Christmas but that's just me. I would also rather enjoy Christmas without the worry that tomorrow I am going to have a baby and surgery. No matter what, that is going to weigh on your mind and take focus away from the joy of the holiday and family. Not to mention people you don't see regularly will constantly ask you when you will have your baby - ha ha... As you can see, I'm usually the odd ball mom on these things.....and don't let Jennifer Z's opinion deter you from this - your doctor knows your body and there may have been a reason for the first one. I never thought for one second to not have a repeat c-section and my kids are 3 years apart. The very best of luck to you - and congrats!!!!!

I personally would want my birthday before Christmas.

Beware that even if you plan it.. your baby may have other ideas. My second daughter was breach..so we picked a date and had everything planned and I went into labor before that date... Then when my third child was due........another C Section...we again had a date all chosen.. and I once again went into labor... and he came before our chosen date.... At least neither one of them can complain about the date we chose because they chose their own.

J.

"When the apple is ripe, it will fall from the tree"

Anyway, leave the baby in as long as possible so it can develop as much as possible. Especially if it is a girl.... girl's lungs are not as developed as boys at birth.

It kind of sounds like you and/or your doctor are trying to schedule this according to birthdates, conflicts, best time for others, etc..... While I can sympathize with you, please do what's best for the baby -- you will both be better off in the long run.

I don't know your history, but the advice about letting yourself go into labor first can be risky -- if you get too far along with your labor and a c-section is necessary, the baby could go into distress.

Have a very blunt and honest discussion with your ob/gyn.

My sister had a dd on Dec 26 and she always makes a big celebration for her and makes it separate. i think it is up to you to do the celebrating no matter when her birthday is. My bday is close to Thanksgiving and I always felt overlooked by my parents b/c my mom was so worried about planning for the holidays so I told my sister that I would ALWAYS give her dd a 1/2 bday present and NOT on her real bday. So, I celebrate on June 26 instead which is still difficult b/c my mom's bday is June 8, niece's bday is June 9, dh's is June 13 and ds is June 15 plus it is Father's Day and my parent's anniversary is June 4. It is up to you to make your child feel special regardless of her birthdate. I would consider health more than dates. In the end, that is what matters most.

Blessings on your little one!
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids
www.4MyChildrenSake.com

Here is my food for thought. What a Christmas gift!

December 19--introduce your daughter to her new sibling, rejoice in the birth of God's gift to you and celebrate his birth with joy as a family.

Blessings--

Well, M., you've gotten advice for planning it for "better presents before Christmas" to "better presents from Christmas sales after Christmas" which saddened me, really. I remember thinking the same kind of thoughts when I was pregnant with my second baby, because she was due around 12/31 but I was experiencing a lot of BH ctx. and pre-labor discomfort starting on Christmas Day...and I was so worried that I'd devastate my child if her birth was between those dates--I didn't have her until Jan 4th (vaginal), but by then I realized how, in the grand scheme of things, some things just aren't that important. I remember my husband allaying my concern that we were going to have a new year's baby and that her birthday would be overshadowed by worldwide celebrations, and my husband said something like, "Well, then the rest of the world will be celebrating her birthday and they won't even know it." It might sound cheesy, but that helped me accept that when she comes, she comes. Some things matter more than others.

Goodness, you could have a kid on December 19th who resents having a birthday in the twelfth month, regardless of which day it is!....but you won't, because I can tell you really have been stressing about picking the "perfect" day for a life of birthdays for your sweet little one. (I knew several friends who had Dec bdays somewhere around the middle of the month and at the end and they always had fun January parties, and they seemed emotionally healthy, happy kids.)

You'll welcome Little One into the world with love and always make that day special, even if things are too hectic for a big party with kids right then (that can be done early or later). I know the health and safety of you and your baby are the priority in your mind, and it's natural to get stressed out with the limited options suggested by your doctor. (I truly hope he or she isn't recommending it out of his/her convenience, as there are some OBs who do.)

I love the website www.childbirthconnection.com because it's chock-full of information on BOTH sides of the method of delivery (c/s or vaginal) and I think it's very equal on both sides in its information. I believe a VBAC, when the mother feels safe and the health of the mother and baby are good, is a good plan, allowing flexibility if the situation changes. A dear friend of mine, because of her serious medical problems, probably won't be able to have another child, but if she did than I would recommend a c/s in her case. I know I don't have an MD behind my name, but there are good reasons out there for both sides, and it's our responsibility and privilege to learn all that we can for ourselves so that we can make the best decision for our child and ourselves with the information we have at the time.

Just so you know, 24 months is long enough for the uterus to become strong again in most past c/s cases--they actually recommend at least 18 months--(according to your OB's licensing organization, you can check the ACOG website rather than rely on me).

But childbirth connection.com can help you plan the safest repeat c/s and fulfilling experience if you choose that route, and I respect your freedom to choose, because I know you truly love and care about your baby. I just don't want you to be manipulated into picking a particular day because "the doctor told me to" without any justifications....I know what it's like to do what your ob says just because he/she says, and I just don't want you to go through something like that.

As far as the dangers of going into labor before having a scheduled c/s, the risks associated with that are so miniscule compared to the risks associated with neonatal problems in an underdeveloped c/s baby. This isn't my opinion, I've read studies on it (and it doesn't happen to everyone, but the chance of the baby not being fully developed is higher than waiting to go into labor, even if the labor ends in a c/s). I'm not giving you false info, but check it rather than believe my "word of mouth."

You asked for advice, and my advice is to go to the childbirthconnection.com website and read the different things to consider on BOTH sides, good and bad, safe or risky, and not rely on one person's experience as the only way it will be for *YOU* THIS TIME, since we never know what's around the corner with our individual body (for some people the second c/s is fine and for others it causes years of pain or numbness and sexual difficulty).

My second opinion is that if you schedule a c/s to not do it until you hit your estimated due date at the earliest. It's frequently a significantly beneficial difference in the health of the baby if she can stay inside and continue gestating (which is why we usually grow babies for around 40 weeks and not 30). I'm all for letting baby get his/her healthiest nutrition in utero for as long as he needs it (so many people forget that a gestation at term includes 42-wk gestations, which some babies need.) And sometimes the EDD is off, so the specialist might say the kid is 38 wks but after the delivery sometimes they're only 36 wks, because the dating wasn't accurate (that happens frequently, especially for women whose periods aren't always exactly 28 days). Plus, there are certain "love hormones" released when a mother goes into labor which can help the mother bond with her little one and feel satisfied in the long-term (and it's hard to quantify that, but it's beneficial when that happen).

Here's wishing you peace and beauty in your future.........E.

My son was born December 28th and my brother Dec. 30th. If I could have picked to have my son before Christmas I totally would have. It seems as though his birthday always gets thrown in there with Christmas celebrations with the family and I feel if it were before Christmas it would be much different. Plus, the way the schools get out these days you baby would still be able to celebrate with friends if before Christmas. I just think about the things we deal with and my son has never had a real birthday party with friends because everyone is celebrating Christmas during that time...

Just my 2 cents but something to think about. Best wishes on the decision and congrats on #2

I had my last boy (number 4) on December 6th...I LOVED, LOVED having him before Christmas. That would be my advice. Just because it was so fun to see the bigger boys with the baby by the Christmas tree and it let us get used to having another baby by the time the BIG day rolled around. Having a b-day so close to Christmas would be a big bummer, in my opinion.
Good Luck, let us know what you decide!!

I had a Thanksgiving baby. My doc told me that having my baby b4 the holiday was much better because everyone goes on vacation during the holidays. Also, you will be able to enjoy your baby at Christmas. Enjoy your new family.

If you ever want to travel for Christmas I would do the 19th b/c the 26th is a heavy return date and that would suck for your kid, plus the 26th is a big relax after it all date and you might not feel like planning a party or having a big hype day. The 19th would still give the kid a little bit of hoopla for their b-day.

I say do what is easiest for you - neither of your kids will remember the Xmas holiday anyways - except from photos. Opt for the most convenient way for you.

I would schedule it before. My feeling is, if the birthday is the day after Christmas then it would get lost in everything that goes on the day after Christmas. Sometimes you might be traveling back home that day, or returning to work, or just exhausted if you've had a houseful of people. If you have it on the 19th, the new little one will have a chance to celebrate their day and feel special beyond the craziness that can be Christmas!
Best of luck with everything and God Bless,

A.