Non-potty Trained 3 Year Old Refusing to Go #2 - Jenison,MI

Have you considered that she could be anal retentive and get her some short term therapy? I had a friend whose oldest had some similar issues and it boiled down to some transitions that were hard for the child to deal with. pair that with normal 3 year old development and well, everyone deals differently. It was best helped with short term therapy and helping child to identify other ways in which to feel in control. You use the word refuse and that seems to imply behavior and not something organicly wrong with her body. Have you thought back to what was happening when this began? Best of luck!

My daughter did the same thing and my son is presently still doing the same thing...I am so lucky to have TWO kids do it.
The Miralax was the best bet. I gave that to my kids every day for a couple years. Yes, I said YEARS. They refused to have bowel movements for two years. My daughter finally got potty trained when she was three. But she still would not poop. It took her another whole year of chasing her down, using glycerin suppositories day after day and she finally just gave in and decided it was time. SO many people told me it would just click for her one day and I did not believe them one bit because at that point in time I was so sick of it and I was trying to control the situation. Finally, after two times of being able to poop on the potty after using the glycerin suppositeries, she realized it was OK and now she has never looked back. It really did happen the way people said it would. I would have never believed it.
I am now waiting for my son to do the same thing. He holds it day after day and he finally gives in after the 7th day and lets it go. I guess I just have to wait for HIS day. Trust me, I know it is frustrating waiting.

I have no advice on how to help, but with the diaper issue, if she is not wet and the poop is not squished in the diaper you can always dump it in the toilet and put a kleenex in the diaper so it's a clean surface. It may sound gross to some but if the poop wasn't all messed up in the diaper it's not a big deal especially if you are going through 50 diapers a day.

My son did that. Started with holding it, that "leakage" is unprocessed stool coming around the stuff she's holding. Google the term Encopresis and see if that what you feel she's doing. It took me alot longer than 2 months to straighten him out.
A gastroenterologist at UofM had me give my son 3 enemas.. in the same time period to clean him out completely.. He hated it and screamed and cried and bit me... but we got him clean. then we started him on a laxative treatment once a day.. the kind with stimulants in it to help trigger him to go while his intestines healed and went back into shape.
Now, my son had this for 2 years and it took us a good 6 months to get him back into the swing of things again.

Oh, and we upped his fiber... kept an eye on his cheese intake and we stopped eating fast food. The gastro doc stated clearly that alot of constipation problems stem from kids eating to much fast food. He started to chastise me, but changed his message when he found out we don't eat any.

It sounds like you are not giving her enough Miralax. My son had this problem from the time he was one until I got him fully potty trained at the age of 4 a few months ago. The Dr. told me to increase the Miralax until he could not hold it and it was very soft. You could combine this with a day of using a suppository to help get the blockage out and help speed the process. I was told to avoid laxatives as much as I could but as a last resort on occasion they were okay to use to help get things moving. Also make sure she is getting enough fluids and fiber in her diet each day approx. 8 grams of fiber for her age is what she needs and clear fluids to help wash them thru. I truely understand your frustration and just want you to know you are not alone in this battle. Best of luck and if you need more support or just a shoulder to vent on I would be happy to do what I can.

Just to be sure, have they checked her for an intestinal blockage? When a little sneaks out like that, it could be a sign of a blockage or severe impaction- really-- I knew a kid that was severely impacted. If this checks out OK, try Kifir and yogurt to help with the bacteria in the bowels.
If she starts going regularly, reward her with stickers and a special treat or event (playground) for a whole weeks worth of moving her bowels. Please have her checked out carefully and good luck.

M.,

The other parents have great experience and ideas. I've never had this happen with my son, but have you tried reading the book "Everybody Poops"? There are some great books at Barnes and Nobel and on-line at amazon.com.

Good luck!

This will probably sound terrible but I assure you it works wonders. Mind you, you should rule out any complications first but castor oil is what I used with my niece. not much but i started with 1ml in a drink to begin with. If after a few hours it does not work go to 2 ml's and then the next day 3 ml's. I never had to use more than that and you dont want to cause crampng or explosive diarreah by anymeans it just makes it so they are unable to hold it. My girlfriend also tried it with her 2 1/2 year old who wasnt pottytrained and within in about 3 weeks not only was she going normally but in the potty. Ive gotten a lot of initial bad response because castor oil is so strong but used correctly in tiny amounts its a beautiful thing! I hope something works for you.
Mom of 2

I like the responses from the other mothers here. Up the clear fluids and make sure she is getting plenty of fiber. I would also go with the suppositories, too. If she holds it for too long the bowel can actually streach out making it even harder for her to go. My son used to hold it for long periods of time, too. He finally got so backed up at one point I had to take him to the ER because he couldn't hold any food down, he was throwing up bile. In the end we found out he suffers from Encopresis. He also got to the point that he couldn't feel it anymore when he had to go so we had to put him on a strict schedule and use enemas to make sure he was clearing out until he learned to recognize the feeling of needing to go again. Above all else, she will eventually go and it will be like turning on a lightswitch when she realizes she needs to go everyday to help her feel good.

Good luck - S.

M.,
I feel your pain. I am dealing with this with my 5 yr old. I have also on miralax. I have also had to give her an childrens enama(sp) first one might not work. and delcolax. Neither are pleasant but that helped it cleared then back up as I call it. Just as a heads up once she gets unplugged the next couple of days she will go beacuse all the poop behind it is soft from the miralax. Then we just have to keep on them to go. It is very hard and I personaly think it is something they have to grow out of. As they get older they start to get the idea that they need to #2 and what foods they need to watch so they so they do not get plugged up again. Hopefully once she is unplugged then when she goes it will not hurt at least that was my daughers reasoning for not going.

Good luck!!

I would say bribe her at this point. Give her something she loves every time she goes. It doesn't have to be a food treat...maybe read an extra book on your bed where you can cuddle, or stickers, or a walk? Or she can get good girl cards every time and then once she gets 4 or something she can have something special. Some type of reward system might make her feel it's not a bad thing anymore.

A friend of mine is going through the same thing with her daughter right now. Her daughter just turned 3 and it has been going on for months. My friend took her daughter to a specialist and the specialist has her on a laxitive drink 2 times per day as well as a juice with fiber. Things definitely go up and down for my friend. They have weeks that are great and then her daughter starts holding back again and gets red/sore and they have to do an enima. Has been a huge challenge for my friend. If you haven't seen a specialist yet then I would suggest doing that first so you can get on the correct doses etc. Hang in there!

My daughter was doing the same thing. Our Ped. told me to do the glycerin suppositories once a day for a week, plus 1/2 a scoop of Miralax every day for 2 months. We actually had to start a 2nd box b/c she still was holding it. It finally took 1/2 to 3/4 through the 2nd box (6 in a box) for her to decide that it wasn't worth the suppositories and that she would just go.

The first box we went straight through - like he said. The 2nd box, we gave her a chance to go on her own. When it started to get to be 3-4 days and she was starting to go in her pants again, we gave her a suppository.

Have you tried letting her go on the toilet? Maybe she doesn't like the feel of it in her diaper and that's why she's holding it.

I had a tough time with my daughter also.It was really hard to get her to do anything on the potty.Well we made plans to go on a trip and told her if she doesnt use the potty before the day of the trip we could not go and well it worked, since then we never had a problem.You think maybe saying if you poop this week then at the end of the week (or weekend) you'll get a little gift? Buy little things from the dollar staore and put it away for that reward.

Good Luck!