Needing Advice on How to Wean and Stop Breastfeeding.

Have you tried pumping your milk and then putting that in a bottle. This way he will be receiving the same taste - but in a different way. I would do this for 3 days...if they are hungry enough, he will take it. So, I would recommend waiting until you know he is very hungry..then try it. He might only take it for a little while at first - but this is a start. Then, try adding 1 part forumula to 4 parts breastmilk to the bottle. You might have to do this for 1-2 weeks..as change is hard. My son didn't like the forumula at all...but I was persistent in adding a little with breastmilk, then more and more and now he drinks the bottle no problem with it. Regarding the problem of him not wanting you to leave, it might be becuase he has not been with many people. You might have a babysitter come over while you're there to play with him...do this a couple times so you can see that he's comfortable with them and likes them. Then, try leaving for an hour or so...do errands, etc. This will be a gradual way to be able to leave for while. Although it will be hard when they cry you must be confident that this will help you and him in the long run - and although hard to accept, isn't healthy for him to be dependent on you. He's a baby and you know what is best...which is for him to be able to be with other people and for you to be able to go on a date with your husband. Happy parents means happy babies. Be strong...and good luck.

Hi G.,

My 9 year old nursed until 2 years old. She didn't take a pacifier or bottle from anyone. I experienced the same date night problem and she even gave her dad a hard time when I went out for more than 2-3 hours. After speaking to the pediatrician at every appointment only to be informed that some children (for whatever reason) are higher maintenance than others and getting frustrated,I decided to surrender to the fact that my child will only be that age for a short time and I had a choice. I could choose to embrace the continued bonding, slowly wean, as others have said, a feeding at a time, and allow less separation anxiety for her or continue to frustrate us both. I feel that your son may be experiencing separation anxiety because, as you probably realize, the more you pull away the more he wants closeness. So, maybe try breakfast first and let him know he can nurse after; lunch and then nurse; nap, etc., dinner then nurse and finally bedtime. After calming him down with less anxiety and frustration for a week or two, start to teach him one feeding a week that it's not available anymore. As one of the moms said already distract him with a storybook or playtime where he still gets your attention and closeness and you can incorporate the time with your 4 year old as well to help mommy or take him to Kindermusik (we did this activity from 6 mos to 3 years, wonderful play/interactive/musical fun). Bottom line, my advice is give him his security, enjoy and surrender to these last moments to bond and take the frustration and anxiety out of a loving situation and like anything, give it some structured weaning time so it's loving but firm w/out trauma. It sounds like your anxiousness to get back to work/normalcy :-)(not..., not with 3 children)is transferring to him. Try it. I did this and we slowly, one feeding at a time, were down to the last night time feeding at 2 and it was big girl time. I look back and treasure the time we had and am glad I was fortunate enough as a single mom to take that time with her. She had other bouts with separation anxiety during her early years and she's just a real loving, sensitive, thoughtful and considerate, and compassionate child to this day. She's 9 going on 10 and doesn't even remember nursing and gets a kick out of hearing the story. I think that my giving her those things that she needed then, helped her to become who she is now. She even reminds me of when I can benefit from exercising patience. What a joy. Many blessings to you. M. B.

My daughter was 12 months old and NEVER took a bottle no matter how hard I tried...even when it was my breast milk. At 13 months I told her that we were going to drink from a big girl cup - a sippee cup - and then at night when she woke up to nurse I would give her a sippee cup in the kitchen filled with juice (to keep her full longer). She would say in a really sad voice, "Milk (while tugging on my shirt)" and I would say, "No, juice." And then we would go back to bed. She slept the rest of the night with the juice because of the fructose. I don't recommend giving them juice during the day because it will make them NOT eat because it gives them a false sense of being full. Also, my pediatrician who was very old and wise told me to wean her to whole milk....which was new to me because I had weaned my other two to formula. I was ecstatic because milk is WAY cheaper than formula and WAY more convenient. As for not eating, my wise pediatrician also said, "She WON'T starve herself. She will eat when she is hungry enough." And he was right.

Hi G.!

I totally commend you on breastfeeding for as long as you have! That is really awesome and good for you both, but when you are ready, it is time. I nursed my youngest till she was around 18 months old, and the way we weaned was that we slowly started doing it only at night, and when she was tired during the day and wanted to "snuggle" we would begin to snuggle in different ways that were just as meaningful. Find creative ways to distract his mind, like reading a kiddie bood together, or playing cars or doing somethign he likes......anything to distract! After a while, depending on your timing, start doing every other night, then etc.....

I hope this helps! I'd love to chat and help in any way I can! Good luck!

C. P

I'm going to give you "tough love" advice so you can take it or ignore it...up to you. You have to stop spoiling your son. He acts that way because you let him. My 12 month old son was the same way with me. I just stopped breast feeding about 2-3 weeks ago and it was rough but worth it. I was lucky to still have some breast milk frozen to give him and have been slowly trying to get him used to whole milk. My son never took a bottle from us (only from his sitter or others) so I got him on a sippy cup kind of early. Then I switched to a sippy cup with a straw so he can get used to drinking like a big boy and gave him water or juice during the day and mixed in one cup of milk to get him used to that.
As far as actually weaning, what I did was slow down the feedings to 3-4 a day, then morning and night only, then only night, then nothing with around 2-3 weeks between each interval. That helps him to get used to lesser and lesser feedings and helps your breast get used to producing less milk and get less engorged. If he cries then he cries and you can either let him cry it out or turn his attention to something else and distract him from thinking about feeding.
Hope that helped!

Hi, I don't have any solutions but just had to write because this is my first day on Mamasource and I saw your note. I have a 14-month-old daughter whom I nurse also and have been wondering about weaning. What a coincidence. I am trying not to pressure myself or the baby and would prefer to avoid what I have heard a lot of about let them cry and by the third day they really don't cry anymore and it's done. That sounds so sad.
At first my baby didn't take to cow milk either but now she loves it. Try getting one of those cereal bowls with the straw on the side. She loves the sweetened milk (of course) from being in the bowl with the Cheerios or sometimes I get Animal Planet cereal because it's not too bad in the sugar department.
And by the way, what is date night? HA I think we have had two since she's been born. But that's okay, they're only young once, right.
Anyway, I would love to stay in touch on this subject! Good luck to you and your son...

Well, he is over a year, therefore, he is able to get other sources of nutrition....he is able to eat solids?...try and explain to him that he is getting older and that he needs to start drinking from a big boy cup...maybe use your step-son as an example...you'd be surprised how much 14 month olds can understand..

Maybe stopping the breast how I stopped the bottle with all four of mine may help. I weened all of mine by age one. That's just the way I do it. JUST STOP. Don't give in once or he will rmember that you give in. Mine forgot about the bottle in about 3 days. You can also offer the bottle at night before bed and remove promptly, or use a pascifier. As far as poor appetite, I don't know of any babies who have died of starvation (at least not in this country). Babies are so smart, when he is really hungry, he will let you know. In the mean time, leave small snacks laying around. For example: a small bowl of green beans, peas or other healthy finger food.

Since he is that attached, I would suggest that you wean him gradually. Drop one or two feedings during the day. Once you son has adjusted to that, drop one or two more. Give him milk or juice in a cup and tell him that if he is thirsty, he can drink that. It may take him a couple of days each time you drop a feeding to adjust but it will be better for each of you this way rather than just cutting him off altogether.

If he is crying or desperately trying to get at you to nurse, try to change the subject. If you sit there and tell him "no" over and over, it will only upset him more. Get him focused on a game or a toy that the two of you can play with together. This way he will still have his Mommy time, but he wont be thinking about nursing.

I hope this helps you out some. Good luck.