Need to Wean 2 Year Old off of Pacifier

Updated on March 11, 2009
M.M. asks from Tucson, AZ
21 answers

My two year old daughter has used a "binky" since she was born. Our pediatrician said she needed to be done with it by age 3, but I think the time has come. She easily weaned her off her bottle at 1 year. We are now having a very hard time getting her to give up the binky. She cries, asks for it, throws a fit. Has anyone been through this? I know I waited too long to do this. I just need to know what works...or doesn't. She only uses it at night and naptime, but I want it gone altogether.

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T.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi M.! We also used the Binky Fairy. My two and a half year old LOVED his binky and would carry it everywhere. We had tried everything we could think of and I found an article about the binky fairy so I thought I would give it a try. We just told him that the binky fairy would come and pick up his binky if he left it on the windowsill. Then the binky fairy would take his binky to a new baby that didnt have one and really wanted it. AND because he was being such a nice boy to give his binky to the binky fairy, she would leave a special suprise behind for him. We just bought him a small toy and put it on the windowsill and then sprinkled a little glitter around the window that the fairy had left behind ;) He was so excited and honestly, he was fine!! I think he asked for it once and I just reminded him that he gave it to the binky fairy and that was it he didnt as again!!! Hope this helps!! And good luck!!!! :)

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L.W.

answers from Tucson on

Hi M.,

Sometimes when a child is around 2 1/2 or 3 they REALLY want to be a BIG KID.

When my daughter had her "paci", she loved it...but she really wanted to be a bid kid. I explained to her that big kids do not use pacis and part of growing up is to give up her paci. After I convinced her of why it's a good thing to be a big kid and she really wanted to do things big kids do, we made a game of collecting all of her pacis and ceremoniously threw them all away in the trash can. Then we did a little dance and had a cookie with a sippy cup and started acting like a "big kid"... This was all fine and dandy til she wanted her paci again...She remembered that we had thrown them all away and was sad. She searched all over the house and found one at the bottom of the toy box and put it in her mouth and was happy. I didn't say anything to her, just smiled and asked her where she found that paci. I asked her if she still wanted to be a big kid, which she did. She still held onto her paci. I did not buy any more paci's. Everytime I saw her without a paci, I praised her about her being a big girl. Eventually, she bit a hole in this paci and it was no fun anymore because it was "flat". She put it in the trash can and that was that. She did not ask for another one. We had a happy ending to our episode...(You do have to watch out for those old pacis though, when the child has teeth, they can easily bite a hole in the paci, or even bite a small piece out of it. You don't really want them to swallow rubber or choke on the pieces...)

Another thing I did (with another of my children) was to collect them all when he was at a friend's house and "made them disappear". When my son started searching for one and couldn't find one he started crying. I helped him "look" for his paci and couldn't find any either. Oh darn! Guess we can't have a paci since we can't find any. Then came the hard part: sticking to my guns no matter how much he cried for one. The first day was the hardest. He cried often, but quit crying when he got distracted with something fun to do. He would cry most at nap or bed time. I let him cry. I reassured him that he would be OK and that he was growing up to be a big boy and that sometimes it is hard. I gave him his favorite stuffed animal to help him settle down, then I left his room and let him cry. The first day he cried the most, and with each passing day, he cried less 'til eventually he stopped crying for his paci altogether.

It all washes out in the end. Just make sure that once you decide it is time for your child to give up the paci that you stick to your conviction! Do NOT buy her another one because you are tired of hearing her cry. She'll get over it. Good luck!! You can do it!!

--L.

(a little about me: my husband and I have been married for almost 13 years. We have 5 very lively and wonderful children ages :12,10,8,5,4. We've learned a lot over the years and are willing to share some of our experiences with anybody who'll listen... :-)

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M.Y.

answers from Phoenix on

We put all our binkys in a box, and sent them to Santa this last Christmas. That way, all the babies who didn't have one could get one as a present. Of course, we probably waited too long to take them away. (My kids were 3.) We also took them away during the day for a while, and only gave them at night. It got them used to not having them all day first. It was a rough couple of nights at first when they were gone, but it did get easier. Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Tucson on

My son was a bubbie nut! He was so attached I was not sure how we were going to get rid of it. Our doctor asked me how many kids I saw going off to college with a binky which made me alugh a little... When he was about 2 & 1/2 we started with only letting him have it in the car and in bed... Then we cut it to just being in bed and then just to night time no nap. It all worked well. To get rid of it all together we took him to build a bear and he picked out a dino and we stuffed his favorite one into the dino. He still tell's everyone that his bubbie is inside for safe keeping! Our daughter does not seem as attached, she is only 1 and only uses it in her crib..

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A.G.

answers from Yuma on

M. M.
I am a mom of 5 and have had 3 of the 5 on binky's. The best advice tht I can give you is, "Cold Turkey." It's only for the 1st 3 days that she will continue to ask for it, but she will eventually realize she doesn't have it anymore. A fun option Supernanny did that I thought was precious was had the babies put their binky's in a manila folder and "Mailed" it to the Binky fairy who uses old binky's for new babies! The Binky fairy sends back another manila folder full of confetti and a few small toys with a note thanking the little ones for their old binky's! Just a thought! Good luck! A. G. xoxox

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B.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I went through this with my daughter at 2, also. We went through one total hell day, one more semi-nightmare day, and then she completely forgot about them. Just get rid of them--no tricks to it. I did take me daughter shopping to pick out a "big girl" toy, which was fun, but she didn;t really understand the concept and she still wanted her paci when it came to naptime...she got over it. In fact, a month later, we drove to Mexico, and I was afraid she would completely freak out on the long drive, so I brought a paci along just in case. I tried to give it to her when she got fussy, and she didn;t even know how to use it anymore! I was dumbfounded--she was so addicted to paci's--she ahd used them since day one, too, and even during the day would walk around with one in her mouth. Best of luck--she'll be fine, and so will you!

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K.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Both my boys work well under deadlines, so we set a goal and talk about it for 2 weeks or so...like...when you turn 3 you will wear underwear or when we go to the dentist you will give all your binkys to him. It worked for both of my boys.

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M.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, I had the same issue and what I did was bought a beautiful sippy cup and had her put the pacifier in the oven on a cookie sheet and when she wasn't looking I replaced it with the sippy cup and showed her what a beautiful cup the pacifier turned into and she never asked for the binky again cause she loved her cup. Try it maybe it will work for her to? Idk but its worth the shot.

Brenda J.

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M.B.

answers from Phoenix on

M.,
I'm in the same boat as you are. My daughter and I love the binks...as she calls it. We give it to her at nap and nighttime. I loved that you put the question out there...I read all the replies and felt empowered. We can do this!!!! I will however, wait until she is 2 1/2 yrs. old. I've talked to her about the binky fairy but don't know if she quite gets it. Thanks Again to all the cool Mommies who replied....you helped me too!

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N.S.

answers from Tucson on

Oh, this is fun. We took our daughter off it at 2 also. First, we did 2 months of the binky only in bed and in car. Then, when she was used to that, we "sent it to babies who needed it." That ended up being the trash can in Target. But she thought it was a special binky recipticle! She cried the first night, fine the second, cried the third and fourth. But by day 5, she was fine. 2 weeks later, she talked about it by saying "I had a binky when I was a baby."
So cold turkey seemed to work well. She'll get over it within a week or two and it'll be like she never had it. Good luck! We have a 20 month old we need to do this too SOON before kiddo number 3 comes in May! YIKES!

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S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

Our son used to have his binkie at naptime, bedtime, and car rides. When he was about 2 & 1/2 we decided it was time for the "binkie fairy" to pay us a visit. We kept telling him about the binkie fairy for a few weeks leading up to the big event. We told him that the binkie fairy takes binkies from BIG BOYS and gives them to babies who need them. We also told him that the binkie fairy usually leaves a toy and/or treats for the big boy in exchange for the binkie.

So we told him that he had to take his binkie and put it in a nice gift bag for the bikie fairy, then leave it by the front door. He was a little reluctnat, but he did it and we didn't have any problems sleeping that night. When he woke up in the morning, he found a toy in the gift bag and his binkie was gone. He may have asked for it a few times afterwards at nap and bedtime, but we just reminded him that the binkie fairy took it and gave him his cool toy.

The whole process wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. So good luck to you!

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K.E.

answers from Phoenix on

Our son was about this age when we weaned him. We put the pinky away and said it was all gone, and that he was a big boy. I think we might have started out not giving it to him as much for a few days, and then we said it was all gone, and never gave it back. He cried off and on a few days but ended up doing much better than I thought he would.

I hope it goes well for you, I think if you just slowly take it away for only nap or bedtime, then you take it away completely and stick with it.

Take care, K.

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L.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

Two of my boys liked, ok, they LOVED their pacifiers! We tried the "big boy" routine, another baby needs it, etc. and no matter how hard they tried, they were just a wreck without it, because ultimately, it was my wish, not theirs.

Around age 2-2/2 we cut the tips off them, just a tiny bit at first, after a day or two, a bunch more, and they HATED it! They set it down, and never picked one up again. Within 4 days, they were completely over it! We did save one good one from each of them for their baby books. When we show them to them now, they ask, what is that, who's is that? They can't even remember being so attached to it!!!

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C.M.

answers from Tucson on

Hi! I remember weaning my girls about 2 yrs. old too.... I told my two younger girls that when they went into a "big girl bed" then they were big girls & didn't need it anymore. It works well.... my youngest did cry for it for about a week.... just got to be strong & don't give in to the fits. She knows that if she throws a fit for long enough you may give in. Just keep telling her she is a big girl & doesn't need it. I have also heard that having a pacifier party is wonderful too.... my friend cut off the ends to the pacifiers & then made then into a necklace. Let your daughter wear them for a while & then let her throw them away.... or do it right before the trash man comes & let her watch them go into the big truck.... just stay firm whatever you don't & don't give in. :) Blessings!

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi M.!
We just went through this with my son, this past week actually. He is almost three (next month) and I knew I wanted them gone by age 3. He has been SOOO attached to his "fafa's" since birth. He had 5 or 6 in his bed at all times. He would have one in his mouth, one or two in each hand and one on his pillow by his face that he "snuggled" with. I thought this was going to be a huge ordeal and was dreading it. I told him about the "fafa fairy". I said that when he turned three it would be time to put the fafa's in a box and leave them for the fafa fairy. I told him she was going to take them to the new babies who didn't have any fafas but since he was such a big boy he would get a big boy toy from the fafa fairy. He told me what he wanted to fafa fairy to bring him (I pretended to call her on the phone) and she said she would bring it to him if he left the fafa's that night. He is REALLY into Thomas the train so he said he wanted a new train. We put the fafa's in a box and the next day when he woke up there was a present waiting downstairs for him. I didn't know if he would really understand this but he totally did. He opened it and said "I got a train from the fafa fairy. She took my fafas to babies who don't have any." He asks for them at nap and bed sometimes but we remind him where they went and that he is a big boy. We told him he gets to sleep with his new train now and that usually makes him forget about the fafas. I really didn't think this was going to work for him. I thought for sure we'd be up for nights with a crying toddler who wouldn't sleep but we were surprised! I know every kid is different and this might not work for some but it might work for you! Hope this helps. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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S.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Is she using it just to fall asleep and at some point it falls out? Or does she suck it the whole time? If it's just to fall asleep, then I really wouldn't even worry about it until she's closer to 3, but if you REALLY want to wean her anyway, you can try the "Binky Fairy":

Tell her a day or two in advance that there is another baby that needs her binkies. Say the baby needs them by Saturday, for example. Then on Saturday, have her help you gather all her binkies into a pretty gift bag and before bed (or a nap might work even better) have her help/watch you tie the bag to a tree in your yard (or hang from porch, etc.) and tell her the Binky Fairy will leave a surprise in the bag for her to get when she wakes up to say thank you for being such a big girl and giving your binkies to another baby who needs them more. Make sure the gift you place in the bag is a big deal. Doesn't have to be super-expensive, but make it something completely new, maybe something she's wanted for awhile. If you wait until she's turning 3, you could even make it a fun "big girl" board game to play with Mommy.

Good luck!

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D.T.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids never had them, but I've had a couple friends who got rid of them by cutting the tips off--they don't like them anymore when they are flat. Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

dont feel bad, my son will be 2 1/2 in april, and his meme and bebe(blanket) are still attached. since moving out here to albuqurque a couple weeks ago from cali, my fiance and i have only allow him to have either while he is in bed. in the morning, his meme goes on top of the tv (there are currently 4 of them up there lol) and his bebe goes in the laundry room up on a shelf out of sight, out of mind. it has worked so far. no its just getting it away at night lol. good luck

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S.R.

answers from Phoenix on

My sister-in-law took her daughter to build-a-bear and "binky" went INTO the bear! Just an idea if you wanted to do something "special" that way...although, I love the idea of just laying down with her at nap time and bed time and it will be done....good luck!! I have thumb-suckers....I'm in big trouble!!

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B.R.

answers from Phoenix on

My advice...worked with my kids...only allow them to have it in their crib. Once they turn 3 they get a BIG bed and there aren't binky's allowed in the BIG bed. It works great!!

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, M. -
My humble advice is not to worry about this. My daughter, now 5, had her "duppie" until she was 3. I worried myself sick about how I was going to take it from her, and you know what? It wasn't that big a deal at that age. At 3, they are old enough to understand a conversation about it. I told her it was making her teeth crooked, and that it was time to let it go. Like yours, my daughter only took it for naps and bed, so I knew falling asleep without it would be a problem. So... for exactly two days, I laid down with her at naptime and bedtime to help her through it, then it was over. She was fine. I have twins that just turned two, and they are even more obsessed with their duppies than she was. I'm going to employ the same technique, and hope it will be as successful for them when it comes time to take it away. Whenever you decide to do it, just gut it out and know that it will be over in a couple of days. Good luck!

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