Need to Go to Bed Before 1 a.m.!

Updated on February 04, 2008
M.B. asks from Round Rock, TX
57 answers

I have a four month old baby boy who is sleeping through the night most nights. (thank goodness!) The problem is that he often will not go to sleep before midnight or even 1 a.m. It's hard because I have to be up at 6:30 to get my older boys off to school. Does anyone have any tips for getting him to sleep earlier? We are currently rocking him to sleep, but are thinking about sleep training him this weekend. Do you think four months is too young for that? Help!!!

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So What Happened?

After reading all of the thoughtful and very diverse advice I received, I decided to try putting him on a schedule throughout the day of eat, play, sleep and then develop a set bedtime routine. I opted not to let him "cry it out" right now, because it just didn't feel right to me at this stage until I had tried other, less extreme options. Within just a few days of starting him on a schedule/routine, he had gone back to going to bed at 8 o'clock, waking once to eat about 9:30 or so, and then sleeping between 8-10 hours straight! So thanks for all your help Mamasource moms--you're the best!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

4 months is a great age to start sleep training. I would personally put him down after his 7-8p.m. ish bottle - that way you have time to get stuff done and get to bed earlier. This will work, you just need to train him.

T.
WOHM to 4 kids (5.5 year old daughter and 7mos old triplet sons!)

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K.S.

answers from Austin on

Learn infant massage! Possibly combine with a nightly bath. It's proven research massaged babies sleep longer and deeper.

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A.C.

answers from Amarillo on

You should go read askmoxie.com about the 4 month sleep regression. I don't think any of the sleep training books recommend you start that before 6 months. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child- great book. My son was sleeping through the night 8-10 hours at 3 months old. And minus illnesses and teething he continues to sleep through the night. The big tips I got from the book (and a friend who gave me the book)- Eat, Play, Sleep. Put baby down for nmore naps during the day. Then put him down earlier- I know it is a wierd concept, but we put our son down at 7 or 8 pm and he sleeps until 6. I would definately recommend this book- babywise was a waste of time. If you are sleep deprive- skip all the research parts of this book for now and read the tips.

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E.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I'm confused about this "sleep training" thing. What is that? Personally, we just made sure our daughter slept in her own bed every night. We never had any problems w/ her going to sleep, we just turned on her music and lights toy and off she went. I think part of the problem is that whatever routine u use for your child is what they'll expect every night. So if you're rocking him to sleep that's what he'll expect, and because he has something (ie mommy or daddy) to keep him interested (ie awake) he will stay awake until he is totally exhausted- which apparently is 1 AM. Also, whatever "schedule" he was on while u were pregnant isn't likely to change when they're that young, so if he was waking u up at 1 AM then, no matter what u do now, he'll probably still wake up at 1 AM even if u get him to fall asleep before then. Personally, I would rock him for just a short time and then lay him in his crib when it's time for bed and start this as a new routine, otherwise you'll probably be stuck this way for a while! Then just shorten the rocking time by a little each night until he's just laying down for night time period. If he's a crying type of baby, u may have to let him cry it out the first few nights (be strong!) but after day 3, he should get the hint that it's bed time, and u won't have any more problems!

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P.K.

answers from Houston on

hey, have you tried whiskey???? just kdding, trying to crack a smile out of your sleep-deprived state... but you have had a lot of good responses. every little one is different. my first one didn't sleep through the night until he was 15 months old!!! and my second, at four months, i think. i agree with the woman who gave you the link against babywise. babies are not programable robots, they are growing developing sweet little souls, and their needs change tremendously in the first year, and then on... you said you had older kids, so you know... so one woman try to adjust the schedule 15 mins earlier, then 30, and then so on, and let your husband help. take a night off every now and then and go to bed at 8, something rediculous like that, so you can rest. remember, you are amazing, incase no one has told you that in a while!!

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L.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi M.,

I have a 3 and 1/2 month baby boy that I have on a schedule. I read the book baby wise and it really helped me get him on it. I started when he was 6wks old. He would cry but I have a video monitior and I would watch him and go pat his back every 20 mins or so and every night it got easier and easier. I read that 3 month olds need 15 hours of sleep. 10 hours at night and the 5 hours should be spread b/w 3 naps. I am sure 4 months is very similiar.

Here is my sons current schedule (note...the schedule can vary 30 mins or so. It's not alwasy exact):
wakes up @: 7:30am (give or take 30 mins)
8:30 eat
10:30 Nap (1.5hr to 2 hrs)
12:30 eat
2:30 Nap (1.5hr to 2 hr)
4:30 eat
6:30 nap (1hr to 1.5) Depending on his other naps.
8:00 Bath time
8:30 eat
9:30 Bed time

Now, not every baby can go 4 hours b/w eating but my son eats about 6.5oz to 7oz and it works for both of us. You can always adjust the schedule to every 3 hrs. Of course during his wake time...we read, have tummy time, watch TV (which he loves), he plays in his excasuser, etc.
Also some times he may fuss for a little bit when I lay him down but I just watch the monitor and now, after about 5-10 mins he is out. I do have a little music mobile that stays on for the 1st 5 mins.

Just to add****We did this past weekend go to wedding and didn't get home till late and it really messed him up. He was totally off! I got him back on though in a couple of days. He did wake up last night @ 12am and cried for 20 mins so I went picked him up for few mins and he went back to sleep and didn't wake up till this morning. My husband and I decided we are not taking him out unless we can be home by his bed time or someone else is there! He can skip his bath time but not his bed time! It's just to hard getting him off schedule! I hope all this helps!

~Mother of Brycen
L.

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B.J.

answers from Houston on

Hi

im the mom of a 12 year old girl and 7 year old boy. And no four months isnt too young. My advice get a baby video monitor (they are a little expensive but worth every penny for piece of mind )if you dont already have one. Lay him in the crib at your chosen time every night. It will be a little hard at first for both of you. But eventually he'll get the hang of it. I had to do this with my son although i did it when he was a month old. The first few nights where though but eventually it he just started falling a sleep at the same time on his own. But to make it easier i had one of those aquiarium toys with the lights on it. He would watch it till he fell asleep. Hope this helps and good luck.

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L.W.

answers from Tyler on

M., I babysit in my home and have for years. If you get in a routine of reading bedtime stories and bottle or whatever, they get to where they expect it. Four months is definitly not too young to just put him in his bed when it's time, after you read books and what ever. If you wait intil he is older, it is much harder to get them to sleep by themselves. Start young! L. W

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

The author of Babywise doesn't even think it's a good idea anymore. But there are other ways to help your baby sleep. Healthy Sleeep Habits, Happy Child has really worked for all three of my children and I have several friends who have used it. It meets you where you are - if you want to co-sleep, it tells you how to do that. If you want them to cry it out it tells you how to do that more humanely that babywise. The important thing to note is that your baby doesn't have a clock, he has patterns that you can identify and encourage. Good luck - the book is worth it's weight in gold!

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

I feel for you. But we have all been there and feel your pain! I don't think 4 months is too young at all for sleep training! We did it with our little one when he was 2 months old and he's 14 months now. And we've had to have "mini sleep camps" as we call them after vacations, sicknesses, etc. Getting a night time routine is the most important. If you follow the same steps every night, after about 3-4 nights, he will know what comes next and that at the end of all this, it is time to got to sleep. For us that includes, dinner, play, bath, reading books and then bed (sometimes with nursing and sometimes not). As you already know since you have two older children, kids crave routine. The sooner you implement a routine for the little one, the happier everyone will be! The first few nights will be tough, but you will all benefit in the end! Hang in there and good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Austin on

It's not too early to sleep train. Start with getting him up at the time you want him up so he can start his day and adjust his sleep/wake cycles accordingly. Put him down when you want him to go down at night with all his needs met (feeding, diaper) and then leave the room. It's not too early to start bedtime rituals either like reading a story, saying a prayer or short snuggle time. (It's best to put him down drowsy, but not asleep. He will learn to pacify himself on his own. I can put all my kids down awake which allows for more time for me and my huband and makes it easier on babysitters.) That can start to be a cue for him that this is bedtime. Put him down. Be prepared for a lot of crying. When my first was 4 months old she was waking up at night out of habit and it took a couple of hours for her to stop crying. It was excruciating, but we made it through! Each night got a little better until she was sleeping through the night (7 hours) which rapidly progressed to 12 hours by the age of 5 months. She never showed that she was having any bonding issues in the least, and she had a more patient mommy that came with better rest. If anything our relationship got better because I was able to give her more of me. I've had two more kids since then, my youngest being 3 1/2 months. He's sleeping 10-11 hours through the night and when he wakes up during the night, he knows how to put himself back to sleep. My older two go to bed and sometimes hang out in their beds for an hour before they fall asleep and we hear no fussing at all! They are great sleepers and go to bed great. I think your training of your son is a great idea, my biggest advice is for you to be strict on wake up and bed times so he can adjust his body to the new schedule. This could be hard emotionally, but soooo worth it in so many ways. My prayers go out for you!!

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

As others mentioned, you may need to cut down on naps during the day. Get your other kids to keep him awake during the day if you have to. Another option is to get his dad to stay up with him at nite while you go to bed. That's what I had to do with my first child who was a nite owl. I would go to bed around 9Pm and then my husband would bring the baby to me around midnite to nurse him to sleep. If you're not breastfeeding, then your husband can handle putting him to sleep. I personally had zero luck with any of these "sleep training" concepts with my kids - I guess they're just too stubborn. So, I think it depends entirely on your child's disposition. But, we found that flexibility in how we were doing things was what worked when our kids were babies and seems to be the way to handle things now that they're older as well.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M. my kids are 10,8 and 6, but I still remember the sleepless nights. My oldest we rocked to sleep and he still has a hard time falling asleep at night. My two younger children were on a schedule right away and both slept through the night at 6 weeks.And they are both great sleepers today. Baby Wise was my choice of books, but I have heard several other good recommendations from the others who replied. The gist is sleep, wake, feed, play sleep (repeat) every few hours during the day. Sometimes you even wake a sleeping baby! But at night before I went to bed I would wake them and feed them once more and put them right back down and they would sleep through the night. If you set a plan in a few days you will get a GREAT nights sleep! Sweet Dreams! If you rock them to sleep they are not learning to fall asleep on their own. And that can be bad in the future.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

It depends on what you mean by sleep training. I wouldn't suggest letting him cry it out. He still needs to bond with you and know that when he cries you will come and comfort him. These are the first stages of trust.
What helped us was to have a vibrating bassinet. The white noise and motion helped them go to sleep. We also have a lullaby CD that I play at bedtime and nap time. My 5 and 4 year old both will settle down when they hear their own CD. I rocked both of them when they were babies to the edge of sleep and then would put them in their crib. If they woke up I would start their music again. Another thing that really helped is we had a Fisher Price Aquarium with a remote that hung on the side of their bed. It provided soft music and soft light with movement to give them something to watch before they went back to sleep. Be careful though some say that this might stimulate the baby instead of calm him or her. Maybe try keeping your baby up more during the day and not allow any late afternoon or early evening naps. Move the bedtime routine of feeding, bath, dressing holding and rocking up early in the evening. And as you already know time flies by so fast so enjoy the quiet time you and your son have and know that this stage will pass quickly.
Prayers with you and your family.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

He is not too young for the sleep training. If you start with it this weekend, just be sure to continue with it every night...consistency is so important! I don't know what approach you are considering, but I would probably start putting him down 15 minutes earlier each night. I would rock him as usual, but not long enough for him to fall asleep in your arms. I hope this works out for you, very soon. I know it is necessary for you to get adequate sleep most of the time, to feel fully functional. Take Care,
~K.

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

It is not to early to train him. Make sure he is not taking a nap to late in the afternoon. Put him to bed the same time as the other boys. He will cry and that is ok. Let him cry for about 5 minutes. It will be the longest 5 minutes of your life. Go in pat his back or comfort him. But just for a second. Then leave his cries will get shorter and shorter until he is asleep. Don't give in.Make sure his needs are taken care of before you put him down to sleep. (diaper,feeding,etc)this is what I did with my first one. my second I just let cry until he was asleep. Maybe 10 minutes.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

I now have a five month old and started training early. One of the main things I was told is to have a routine at night so that he knows it is time to go to bed. I chose to give him a bath an hour before bed. I get in a full bath tub with him and let him play in the water. He gets a lot of energy out and I love our extra time together. Afterwards I give him a calm rub-down with lotion, not talking too much to get him excited. I take him to his room and feed him where there are no distractions and little light. I lay him down awake and he immediately goes to sleep. I have a friend that had the same trouble you did, and she has tried this and it worked for her too...both of our babies are sleeping from 8 or 9 until 7 or 8 in the morning.

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E.C.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I would encourage you to do the sleep training. My daughter's pediatrician recommended sleep training when she turned 4 months old. Unfortunately, I didn't take her advice and continued to hold my baby to sleep until she was 9 months old (even when she would wake up a couple of times a night). I now realize I was keeping her from learning to fall asleep on her own each time I held her to get her to sleep. She just turned 10 months old yesterday, and it took us about three weeks. Now I am thankful that she can be put in bed awake and go to sleep on her own! I just wish I would have done it back when she was four months old. It was hard to hear her cry, but now she has a lifelong skill - to get to sleep and return to sleep without my help! Now she is sleeping from 7pm to 7am with an hour morning nap and an hour afternoon nap. Good luck.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Many experts say sleep training before 6 months is NEVER a good idea. Children do need a "routine" but they dont need a strict schedule that age they are too young to understand! I cant imagine being put down in a room alone, when i was sleepy, crying and no one coming to tend me to me. That would devastate me NOW--and I am an adult who can undrestand! I UNDERSTAND being desperate for sleep, but I think paying attention to naps, sticking to a bed time routine that "un-stimulates" them, ans just really tryign to learn what YOUR baby needs can be very helpful. Their is a book called the "NO cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley--its a gentle way of learning good sleep habits, routines etc... without making it so rigid that it causes harm!
I was all about "baby wise" until I read that it totally undermines a moms instinct to soothe her baby, feed her baby an in general care for her baby--and some babies have died when parents used that book--eeek! We have an innate instinct for a reason--and I feel that book tells you to go against it. I want to have more trust in my self than that as a parent!

I know its so hard though, so I encourage you to hang in there and go with your gut on what feels right. We all can suggest a million things but bottom line, we are not you and we dont know your baby like you do. Best of luck...

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T.H.

answers from Houston on

In my opinion you should try the sleep training as early as posibly. I have a 3 1/2 year old little girl that will only go to sleep and sleep through the night with me. She has been like this since she was born. She did not like her crib and would not sleep through the night until she was 2 and only if she was in the bed with me. So start early because it does not get easier when they get older, it only gets harder.

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

I would NOT get "Baby Wise". It is condemned by the American Academy of Pediatrics. http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/1...
(this is just one exerpt. There is a whole journal written on this)
Four months is a little early to sleep train. You can slowly try to alter their routine, but it will take time. My child was not sleeping through the night at four months. I certainly would not let a young baby like that cry it out either. They are too young. Start putting the baby down a little earlier- maybe 15-30 minutes one night and see how that goes. Once that works, try the process again. Eventually the baby will adjust. The baby still may wake up now and then to eat. Eventually they will be able to sleep throughout the night without needing to eat. Hope this helps. My little one goes to bed each night without a problem. She sleeps from 8:30 pm to 8:30 am. It is lovely!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

OMG! You have GOT to sleep train him to save your sanity! Get the book baby wise and go for it. 4 months is NOT too early. You will prob. not be able to do this over a weekend but it will be worth it in the long run.
- If babies get too tired it is very difficult to sleep.
- You have to be willing to let your baby cry and be a little uncomfortable, learning to sooth himself will be a challenge but will pay off for him in the end - I promise.

Good luck and write me if you have any questions. I have one that I did not sleep train and two that I did. The difference is overwhelming and I would be happy to be an encourager and question answerer!

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L.B.

answers from Parkersburg on

M.,

First of all you want to make sure he doesn't have a tummy ache. I just went through this with my sister and her new baby girl and she would end up with gas at the end of the day.

My kids are now 21 yrs and 18 yrs old. I put my daughter on cerial when she was 8 days old. and my son went on cerial the night we brought him home from the hospitol. all i did was was put 1 teaspoon of rice cerial per ounce of milk. keep it runny. at first i gave them no more than 2 ounces of milk mixed with 2 teaspoons of cerial. and every 2 wks i'd add 1/2 teaspoon more of cerial.

I know all doctors say not to put babies on cerial until 6-8 months old. but if you think about it, could you live on nothing but milk? My kids plus my new niece started sleeping all night and going to sleep earlier once they started the cerial.

the ritual we done with my niece was to give her the 5pm feeding which was her last bottle before the cerial. after that bottle we slowed the pace down around the house, quieted everything down and started to just relax. about 6:30 we gave her a nice warm bath and played with her in the water for about 20 min. then we took her out and wrapped her tightly in a snuggle blanky. we placed her arms down to her side when we wrapped her as this is how she liked to be wrapped. then we would talk to her or read her stories or let her swing in the swing. about 8 or before 9 she got fussy. that is when we would give her the cerial. 2 oz of milk with 2 teaspoons of cerial. when she finished that, she got more formula and usually would take 3 oz of formula, sometimes 4. after burping her we would make sure she had a clean dry diaper, wrap her back up and lay her in the bed and let her listen to lullabyes in the dark. it some times took her up to an hr to got to sleep but she laid there quietly or cooing.
at first she would wake up at 4am, but we kept the room dark and quiet, got her up, changed her diaper and put her back in bed and covered her back up and she would sleep another 4-5 hrs.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I used the Babywise method and my son was sleeping 6 hours straight at 6 weeks and 8 hours straight at 3 months. Now he sleeps 12-13 hours at night plus a 2-3 hour nap. I didn't follow everything in Babywise. I still rocked him to sleep a lot. But I did let him cry some to soothe himself back to sleep. Now we can put him to bed awake, but I didn't start that until 1 year. It's worked for my friends, too. Just follow the schedule of it.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

I feel for you!

I would take a look at how many and how long your 4 month old sleeps during the day. You might have to cut his daytime naps down.

I agree with the other Mom's "sleep training" or what ever you want to call it, is the way to go.

It will be tough the first couple of days, but hang in there!

Best of Luck!

C. Roeschen
The Trinity Group
Keller Williams
###-###-#### Direct
____@____.com
www.TheTrinityGroup.org

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

I hate to sound ignorant but, what exactly is sleep training? 4 mo is still very young. I also have 3 boys & it took a while before 2 of them slept through...have you called your pediatrician? I can all too well relate to the energetic boy seen...we need a support group for that alone!! Best of luck...C.!

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

You said "we" are rocking him to sleep--does that mean your husband and you? IF so, why doesn't your husband help get the boys ready for school? Try getting everything ready the night before, like their clothes, shoes, backpacks, etc., so all they have to do is get dressed and free up a little time for you!

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V.T.

answers from Houston on

My friend sent me a Miracle Blanket. It's a swaddling blanket that you can buy on-line (through amazon.com). At first I thought it was a 'straight-jacket' thing & cruel, but the next night my baby slept soundly. I used it for several months until she learned how to turn over. Works like a charm! (Before the Miracle Blanket, my baby would sleep & wake up throughout the nite. I had a hard time swaddling her w/ a receiving blanket b/c it would always come undone.)

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C.C.

answers from Austin on

We started sleep training at 4 months. It was challenging, but remain strong and eventually your baby will get it. It really only takes a few days to a week before your baby will be able to soothe himself to sleep. Just be consistant.

M.L.

answers from Dallas on

My son is currently 4 mo. also and I started sleep training him Monday. He's teething now so I know how you feel. I have to get up to get my husband up @ 6 every morning and so I know with older Children its hard. I have a mischevious 2 1/2 yr old. Try feeding him until he's full, then give him a bath with the night time bath stuff and then put him in bed with a pacifier and see how that goes. I hope this helps. Best wishes :)

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L.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Swaddling is the key. Babywise isn't bad, it is all about sleep, feed and wake periods. I've heard Happiest Baby on the Block is wonderful. I have a 4 month old son and he slept through the night at 2 months (11 pm to 5 or 6 am). Bathe him, feed him and swaddle him, then to bed. My little one LOVES to be swaddled and it puts him to sleep, along with me cuddling and rocking a little. The Gerber waffle blankets that are 30 by 40 work best, not the 30 by 30.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

yes, i think 4 months is too young for sleep training. i don't believe rocking to sleep is keeping your baby from going to sleep earlier. It's hard to tell you what to do without knowing the baby's nap schedule. when baby naps during the day, baby sleeps at night. when daytime sleep is not full nor routine, it affects the ability to sleep at night. make sure y'all are in a good nap routine, getting AT LEAST 2 naps a day (at 4 months he is probably still needing 3 naps a day), and a nice, long, soothing bed time routine. LEt him know that sleep is coming with low lights, low sounds, a warm bath, books. I've read that the quiet soothing should start about an hour before intended bed time. is life still crazy at night putting the older boys to bed? perhaps let DH take care of them while you go in the baby's room and create a soothing atmosphere for him. Also, a bed time of about 7 or 7:30 is MUCH more conducive to baby sleeping. He may still get up a few times, but these will be brief. I don't think a 4 month old should be expected to STTN anyway. If he is, great. If he's not,don't force him. I think you'll notice that I said "routine" and not "schedule". Routines help babies (and kids) know what to expect, but follow his clues. Since you are home with him, pay close attention to when he needs naps during the day. After you know what his cues are, then try to follow them. Soothing night routine, early bedtime, with plenty ofnaps during the day. He should still be getting 14-15 hours a sleep in a 24 hour period.

I know others have said to keep him awake during the day, but that does NOT work!!! They NEED naps, and most sleep experts agree that day time sleeping helps night time sleeping. Though I personally don't agree with the book Babywise (if you are nursing it has been proven to be harmful to a good breastfeeding relationship) one good point it makes is the eat, play, nap routine. I just don't think you should say, "It's 9:00 and you haven't taken your nap. Lay down and cry." Follow his cues. Develop your routine based on that.

I can't say it enough....I think sleep "training" is a BAD idea for a little baby. He's barely out of the womb, and is still getting used to the world. But if you really think sleep training is necessary, wait until 6 months at least. The very word "training"...

Naps are essential, though. You'll find that even if he skips naps and falls asleep out of exhaustion, it won't be good sleep, he'll get up a lot, and it probably won't help in the long run. Good naps, night time routine, early bed time. Really, the early bed time is one of those crazy things that you think would make them wake early, but it doesn't. It really helps them to sleep longer and better. If you look up how much sleep a baby needs, you'll see that it's 14-15 hours at this age. Deprivation is keeping him up till 1.

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L.S.

answers from Memphis on

It's definately not too young - I started with mine at 2 days old!!!!! I used "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and it worked perfectly!

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R.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Just skimming the other responses, but I didn't see too many people recommending you put him to bed earlier. When my son was about 2-3 months old, I would just let him fall asleep when he fell asleep, around 11 PM. But then I read "THe No-Cry SLeep Solution," and I started putting him to bed earlier. First at 8:00, then earlier and earlier, because I found he WANTED to go to bed. He ended up with a bedtime of 5:30. Even now at 14 months, he's ready for bed by 6:30.

Sometimes babies are ready to go to bed much earlier, but if they stay up past that point, they get a second wind and can keep going for several more hours.

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W.H.

answers from Dallas on

I worked with my son (now 15 months) between 4-5 months, so I don't think it is too early. I used the "Good Night, Sleep Tight" to help me through it. I love to rock my boys to sleep too and this book is sensitive to those moms who like to snuggle. He certainly needs to be going to bed earlier and so do you! Good luck.

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V.S.

answers from Houston on

You should really try doing something with him that will tire him out. Like playing with him. Start gradually, it might not work if you start off too early since hes so use to sleeping late. So start about 10 'ish, see if that works. When my 7 month old does that i usally put him in his jumparro, he there for about 30 to 45 min and gets sleepy. Well godd luck with everything.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.:

You've certainly received a lot of good advice. mamasource moms are the best! I had the same issue with my middle son, and here's what I did. First, I talked to my pediatrician, and threatend to bring my son to her house if she did not help me get him on a schedule. :) I have always worked full time, so a good sleep schedule for my babies was critical. She told me the correct Benadryl dose for him, and around 7:30/8:00 PM, I would give it to him. I nursed him to sleep around 8:00/8:30, and put him to bed. Then, before I went to bed, around 10:30 PM, I would go nurse him again. I never turned on lights or woke him, just picked him up, and let him nurse whatever he would drink. Then after I put him back to bed, he would sleep until 5:30 or so. It took a couple of weeks, but he did finally adjust his sleep schedule, and I was able to stop giving him the Benadryl. I would caution you, though, my third son used to get wired up when I gave him Benadryl.

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

Are you breastfeeding him? If so, I would suggest that you try to give him an extra feeding an hour before he is scheduled to eat. Try this for three days and then at this time...which my guess would be about 10 pm...go take a nap, if your husband will let you. Then wake up and feed again and I think your son will be filled up to sleep a bit longer.

I have four children and two of my boys were bigger eaters. they needed to nurse longer and more frequently. I also put my four month old in a baby buggy that was next to my bed and I would turn off all the lights and put him down and bounced the buggy next to my bed as I was trying to nap. Remember 10 minutes of sleep is better than none at all. Hang in there...this time will pass soon. Take cat naps all the time when you can get them in. my little ones never slept the night until they were over 1 years old.

C.

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S.P.

answers from El Paso on

Hello

I know it sounds hart but my advice is, just to keep him wake during the day. Wake him up when he falls asleep, and keep him busy with games, ect. -S.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

We did sleep training with my daughter and it was WONDERFUL. 4 months isn't too old at all. We started with her at 6 weeks. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is what we used. It will also help you get his naps on a better routine which means he will sleep better at night. My advice...GO FOR IT!!! It will be so worth it in the end.

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G.G.

answers from Dallas on

The pediatrician my daughter uses says that the parent should set the sleep pattern. Put the baby down and let them cry if they need to. I asked "how long" and she said as long as she needs to. I watch my granddaughter every day and tried this. It's hard to begin but worth it in the end. At first she only cried about 10 min., now she goes right to sleep. Have faith, you can do this.

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S.S.

answers from Austin on

You may want to evaluate his nap schedule-- he may be sleeping too long or too frequently during the day. At four months, it's hard to completely manipulate a child's sleep schedule. Be grateful he's sleeping through the night! You might want to reduce his "late afternoon or evening" nap if he is sleeping after 5:00pm, so he'll be tired earlier. You may have to play around with it, but hopefully you'll find something that works for you. Can you nap yourself during the day?

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

Huge fan of babywise. It is really quick to read...I always modify it some. My first slept thru the night at 10 weeks and my 2nd at 13 weeks (10-7 is sleeping thru the night for me). Check it out :)

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J.A.

answers from Dallas on

I sleep trained my 8 month old when she was 5 weeks old. After about 3 nights of training she was able to be put in her crib at bedtime without a peep and would sleep for 12 hours. It's rare that we ever have a problem with her going to bed at 7 and waking up at 7-8. I say go for it! You'll be thankful in about a week.

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

No, it's not too early. Try keeping the baby up during the day more...in the evening keep the environment calm, soothing quiet...don't play with him as much. they get into a routine, you have to try & change it. D

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

hi M.!
I'm no expert, and thank the good Lord, my 4 month old LOVES to sleep! But my first child was just like that... I found the book "the Baby Whisperer Answers All your Questions" and she has some really, really good ideas. One of the things I liked the most was that she seperated most babies into groups, my first being in the "spirited" category and "angel baby" for my newbie. But she has great observances and ideas for each different group (including sleeping habits to nurture) How I wished I had this book while I was raising my first...she is quite the spirited and precocious one! Good luck, I know it can be very frustrating!

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C.W.

answers from Lubbock on

You are right; that time wouldn't work for us either! By 4 months you can sleep train IMO. Just do a bedtime routine starting around 8 or 9 or whenever you get your other boys ready for bed. Easier said than done though... Gosh babies are so hard when it comes to getting them to sleep good through the night... Mine at that age (my second boy) would only fall asleep in a swing! So I really am not the one to give advice. How about I just say I am here for encouragement and support! Hang in there Mama. This too shall pass.

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M.H.

answers from Lubbock on

I think sleep "training" is just a horrible term.

Do you have a bedtime routine? What are naps like? What time are the naps?

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A.H.

answers from Lubbock on

Is your four month old taking long late naps in the afternoon? If so, he needs to nap early in the afternoon. Don't let him sleep more that two hours. Then let him play hard and long with his siblings, if possible. That way he will be tired and ready for bed at a decent hour.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.-
I am a fan of Babywise. We started it when our little guy was in his first couple of months (2 or 3 months). It worked like a charm. I don't think 4 months is too old at all. It was tough to let him cry for 5 minutes and not pick him up the first time but we only did it a couple of times and he is the BEST sleeper ever. Even at 16 months old now he still takes two naps, each lastig one to two hours and sleeps 12 hours at night. It is the best. I think babies are going to vary on their sleep needs though. Some don't sleep as much as ours and that is probably fine for them. They do need lots of rest though and you need yours as well. Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Houston on

I think 4 months is still a little to young for sleep training. He is still learning to trust that you will be there for him. My daughter was 7 months old and she was up every hour wanting me to go in and comfort her. Finally about after a week of no sleep I bought the book "Healthly sleep habits, Happy child" That night I let my daughter cry it out. She woke every hour and expected me to come in. Honestly it was the hardest thing I've ever done. She cried most of the night but did fall back to sleep in between cryings. Second night, She woke up 4 times, 3rd night just a couple of times, 4th night she slept through the night. It was truly amazing. The trick to this is on your part. It will be very hard listening to him cry but it will work. There are times when she is sick or teething that I will go in and comfort her at night to where she gets used to me doing that and we have to start the whole thing over again but letting him cry it out will work after a few days. Buy the book...it is worth the reading.

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F.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

I had the same problem and my aunt who is a nurse told me to go out and get a book called Baby Wise (Giving your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep) by Gary Ezzo M.A. and Robert Bucknam. It helps with feedings and finding a schedule that works for you. When she first told me about the book I had my doubts but after 2 months of 5-6 hours of sleep I was willing to try anything. Since then I have refered the book to 4 other people and it has worked for them. Good luck and I hope it works for you too!

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C.T.

answers from Austin on

Well, I have never heard of sleep training, but I can tell you that babies are instinctive, and it may just be frustrating and a waste of time. Both of my daughters have always slept through the night (they are 2-1/2 & 1), but I have had difficulties getting them to bed at a decent hour. What always seems to work for me is to lay down with them in my bed and turn the lights off. If they are anywhere CLOSE to falling asleep, they will, and quite quickly. He might squirm a moment, but without the visual stimulation from the light he should figure it out pretty quick. After he passes out you can move him to his bed if you want, but we have always allowed our girls to sleep between us. A comforted child sleeps much better than one who has been left alone across the house. I hope that this can help you, it really has made a difference at night for us.

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T.C.

answers from Waco on

My fiance and I sleep trained our daughter...she was abotu the same age as your little boy. We didn't have a choice, she thought it was time to get up and play at very odd hours. The best advice I can give is to give him a bath about an hour before bed, if he has a bottle before bed, that would come after the bath(thats what we did)My daughter is 7 months old now and I rocked her to sleep until she was almost 5 months old. And would often wake up when I tried to put her to bed, so what I would do was swaddle her in a big blanket, probably about the size of a throw fleece blanket, I would swaddle her, put her in her bed and give her her pacifier and tell her that it was quiet time and that Mommy would be very close, didn't think it would actually work, but because of it I have one of the most independent 7 month olds I've ever known.(Sometimes I miss her clingyness though)However since I started doing that when she was young, she knows that her bed is her bed, she stopped wanting to sleep with us and now gives us no problems. The doctor I think gave me the best advice, when its time for the baby to eat, wake him up, don't play with him, but change him and feed him and speak soothingly, then when its time to go back to bed, its time, I think it took us probably about a good month and a half of having to let her cry for a bit before she finally got the idea that it was quiet time and that she would be alright. Keep at it, and eventually he will come around. I've also found that waking my little girl up earlier in the mornings also helps her want to go to bed earlier at night. You might also try not letting him sleep passed an hour for his final naps. That was suggested to me and worked better then anything I think. I hope this helps.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

With my 3 girls I would let them cry a little every night and just add more time each night and they learned very quickly. The first night try 5-10 minutes, 2nd night about 10-15 minutes, etc. It is hard to do but well worth it. I started this very early so 4 months is not too young.

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R.M.

answers from Houston on

I have two boys, 4 1/2 years and 20 months. I did BabyWise with both of them and highly recommend it. You can find the book by that name at any bookstore. I think birth is a good time to start sleep training, so 4 months is not too early in my book. The sooner you start, the easier it will be. Good luck!

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