Need Help on Nightime Weaning!!!

My daughter is 16 months old and does not sleep through the night. I think that it is too young for your daughter to night wean. There are a couple things that might help. Try co-sleeping, it is easier for you to get right back to sleep. Could you try and go to sleep earlier too?

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she should not be weaned of nighttime feeding at such a young age! And no she definitely should not be sleeping through the night at this point, this is a common misconception! Nighttime feeding is crucial for her development and weight gain. why don't you take into bed with you? this is by far the best way to get sleep for both of you. My whole family (mom had seven kids and four sisters all have babies) co-sleep and honestly I don't know of a better way to feed at night. Is she still breastfeeding? just position her next to you in the bed and she should "root" towards your breast when she needs to nurse during the night. The best part is both of you do not need to fully wake up either!. mu daughter is five months and we have been bed sharing since she was born and she never fully wakes up during the night, she stirs a bit, I latch her on, she nurses and we go back to sleep! if she has never slept in your bed before it could take a few nights for her to get acclimated, but it is well worth it! you will probably get many suggestions, but give co-sleeping a shot. not only is it good for nighttime feeding, it is great for bonding between mom and baby. also check out the book nighttime parenting by Dr. Sears ans askdrsears.com, there is also a great article in this issue of Mothering Magazine(an excellent magazine to have). Remember, she needs to eat at night, you need to find a situation that works for both of you. Good luck!

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Please know that what she is doing is perfectly normal. I have a 4 mo. old who wakes every 2.5-3 hrs a night to feed. I found that having him in bed with me makes all the difference...I wake just enough for him to latch on and we both fall back asleep. I hardly feel as if I loosing sleep. It did take some practice in the beginning. Good luck.

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I always nursed my baby at 11pm (this is called the dream feed) before I went to bed, but he would still wake up at 2 in the morning but then as he got older it became later and later. This is pretty common for breastfed babies. I slept with my son until he was 10 months old because he would wake up to eat every 3 to 4 hours. I couldn't lift him in and out of the crib due to tendonitus, so it was just easier. It wasn't so bad to wake up in the middle of the night because he was right there. I slept while he ate. I think you can try to cut the middle of the night feedings out around 6 months old, but it is hard to do, but worth doing. I cut out the middle of the night feeding by 7 months. Then I fed baby at 11pm and then not until 5am, even if baby cried, I would just rock him back to sleep and try to wait until 5am. Then 5am turned to 6 am, etc. I didn't get a decent night's sleep until I stopped breastfeeding. And when I did he starting sleeping from 9pm to 9am in his own crib!! She'll get there!! Good luck!

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I hate to tell you this b/c of your disappointment, but this is the time they are GROWING like weeds, also realizing they are alone when they wake up and wanting to be warm and with you. If you want her to sleep longer, try to cluster feed in the evening. Many kids don't stop waking up for years. I know it's hard to wake up early and have a baby who doesn't sleep, but know this is the norm. It's very unusual for babies to sleep through until they are 2 or 3 years old. Also, know if she is nursing for 5 minutes, she may not be doing it for food, more likely for comfort and bonding with you... not to mention warmth.

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You sound exhausted and in need of some help. The best nightime sleeping arrangement is the one that gets everyone in the house the most sleep. Maybe some new night time sleeping arrangements need to be tried out. Have you considered co-sleeping (having a sidecare bed like the arms reach co-sleeper) or bedsharing for part or all of the night? It is so easy to just roll over and have your baby latch right on and fall right back to sleep. This way, even though you still have to tend to your baby at night it is hardly a disruption. Just because your baby spends part or all of the night in your bed doesn't mean that she won't sleep in her own eventually. Getting the sleep that you need to function and meeting your baby's needs are the most important things right now.
Your baby still needs to eat at night and what you describe is totally normal and appropriate nightime behavior for a four month old. She also needs comforting and to know that you are available to her both day and night. You may really enjoy the new book that came out by Dr. Sears called the "Baby Sleep Book". This book offers lots of tips and suggestions that you can try that is respectful to both baby's and mom's needs and without causing trauma with the cry-it-out method. She will also start teething soon and may have nights where she wakes more frequently due to pain. Babies tend to wake for growth spurts too.
Good luck and I am hoping that you get some good sleep soon.
PS: There is a great book that came out last year called "sleeping with your baby" by James McKenna. He has done extensive research on infant sleep and mother and baby bedsharing/cosleeping. He respects parents enough to teach them how to bedshare safely rather than just telling them to not do it. He also provides scientific data as to the benefits as well as the history of bedsharing and cosleeping.

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Hi C.! I feel for you. My daughter just turned 3 mos and IS sleeping through the night for the most part. Are you breast feeding exclusively? I think she should be sleeping longer now. We started getting 3-4 hour stretches with mine then 5, 6...now up to 10 hours sometimes!! She'll drink like 6oz right before bed or sometimes like an hour before bed depending on when she last ate. But, when I was breastfeeding her it was the same exact way as you just described. I had to go back to work full time so I stopped breast feeding (not telling you to stop though!! I was devastated).

I agree that at this stage, the baby is not expected to sleep through the night. They are too young.

However, when the time comes, when my kids were a little older than yours (8-9 months) I remember weaning them from their night time feeding with this method and it really worked. Pick a week and start with 7 minutes of feeding. The next night, only nurse for 6 minutes, then 5 minutes the next night, etc....within a week, they were weaned from that particular feeding. It helped us all get the sleep we needed. Good luck!

C.,
I feel like you wrote exactly what I have been thinking. My two yr old slept throught he night at two months and I expected something similar with my son. He is also 4 months and is getting up every 2.5-3 hrs to eat a little bit and go back to sleep. It has been driving me crazy too b/c I have so many friends with kids the same age who sleep so much better and even through the night. I feel better after reading your post that at least I am not the only one in this boat.
Good luck and please let me know if you find a solution.
p.s. we have been co sleeping and it has not made much of a difference, we are both still up.
C.

I think it's normal for the baby to still feed so often at 4 mo, but sounds very difficult with your work schedule. Can you fit in a nap sometime during the day?

I'm presently reading a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and it has plenty of advice for babies 4 mo - 1 year. You should check it out. It teaches a gentle way of getting the baby to be less dependent on you at night - able to self-soothe back to sleep.

Good luck!

have you tried a binky??? she may just need to suck and not really hungry .... i combo feed all my children and three out of the four used a binky and the three self soothe better today than the one without.... mother of 14 11 8 and 21mths arbonne home business K. d oh about the co sleeping well i found babies are very noisy sleepers and i always slept better when i moved them out of our room give it a try you will hear them when you need to...

Oh dear, I have been there!

You should get your husband involved. If she realizes there isn't anything to be had when she wakes at night, then she'll probably stop.

This is of course assuming that her weight and growth is fine.

It does get better. You know that, right?

Hi C.,

Your situation sounds very frustrating ... and exhausting! Many 4 month olds will still need to eat at least once during the night. My son has always been a good sleeper and at 4 months he went to bed around 9pm and woke at 3am to eat, and then slept until around 6am I think. Perhaps you can try feeding her only once during the night. At 4 months I think it's okay to let them cry a little bit. Although, this is a personal decision of course. Perhaps she will fall back to sleep? Usually the first stretch of sleep is the longest for babies so you might want to consider trying to phase out that first middle-of-the night feeding. Also, make sure she's getting enough during the day so that she's not making up for lost feedings at night.

Good luck!
D.

Try a little cereal, mixed with formula or juice, for the last nighttime feeding. Just a few spoonfuls - if she tears into it and keeps it down, let her have more! I don't agree with today's school of thought that says all they need is breast milk until like 9 months old. That's ridiculous. We started with cereal at 5 months, and our sons wolfed it down, kept it down, and thrived. Good luck!