Need Help Getting 4-Year-old Out of Diapers at Night!

As has been stated so many times before...night dryness is not a LEARNED SKILL. It is about physiological development. If your 4 yo is wet in the a.m. that means his body simply CAN NOT hold it all night. He will achieve night dryness when his body matures. Even limiting drinks, etc. really does not apply in this situation.

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I have always heard it is a developmental thing and you can't really train kids to be dry at night. My 5 1/2 year old daughter still wears a pull up at night and is usually soaked in the morning. My 3 1/2 year old son is starting to wake up dry in the mornings. I don't know why this is but some kids just take longer to grow into being able to hold their pee all night.

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the thing is, you really can't "make this transition" - your son's body has to...

i am right there in your boat too! my 5yo son wears a pull-up at night and during nap times(on the rare occasion that he takes one). it's not something i'm fighting him on or shaming him on or even that i comment on. i'm not interested in changing and washing bed sheets and the cloth mattress pad that's on top of the vinyl mattress pad that would also have to be wiped down or changed every morning. he has asked once or twice when he can wear underwear to bed, i've matter of factly told him "when you wake up with a dry pull-up for a whole lot of days in a row". he moves on to other subjects - we have really made it a non-issue here. it's less than $10 a month for a package of pull ups - that's worth my son's dignity and self esteem(not to mention what i'd spend in laundry detergent and electricity to wash every day!). i think i get a package of 88 brand name pull-ups for $24 at costco.

there's really nothing you can do about it, just hang in there and use coupons if you want to.

i was not a bed-wetter, nor was my husband, nor was my 8yo son. he day and night trained the very same day and has NEVER had an accident of any sort... hoping my 2yo daughter is like that!

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If he's waking up wet, he's not ready. Sorry. My 6 year old is still in pull ups. It's not the same as daytime dryness, it's much more physiological. My 3 year old son night trained the same time as he day trained.

Rite-Aid has inexpensive nighttime pull ups.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I was one of those that couldn't hold it at night. No matter what my parents did, there was accidents. It happened till I was 12. For me it was because my bladder just hadn't grown as fast as the rest of me. Our doctor confirmed that. I would suggest going to you doctor and finding out too. I was given a nose spray that helped, but didn't solve it. If that is the case for your son, make sure that you don't get angry at him. Doing that will only lower his self esteem. My parents did that, and my life was horrible (amongst other things that happened). So get it checked out, buy bulk of pul ups or you might want to try cloth trainers (my favorite brand that I've tried with my son is Blueberry and Diapeze) so that you aren't shelling out hundreds of dollars for pulups.

1 mom found this helpful

i am in the same boat as you!!! so i'm going to mooch off your answers and hopefully when can get some knew tips! lol good luck

You can only do what the bladder will allow. It can take a while to mature the bladder in children. How is he doing for naps, if he takes one. How is he doing during they day? All I could do is offer my boys a Skittle if they woke up dry and let them know they didn't get one if they were wet. I took away the diapers and started using pull ups for incentive. You could buy one package of those to see if you see improvement and treat them like panties and offer incentives to stay dry.

NEVER wake a child up during the night to use the toilet. It's useless and just disrupts sleep. And then they get in the habit of needing to pee during the night which defeats the purpose.

It can take time. Just start instilling in his head to be dry or less wet in the morning. You can also double void before bed. Have him potty 30 minutes before bed and then again right before he climbs in. Stop drinks after dinner. Milk at dinner should be his last drink, period.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

My son was day trained at 3 1/2 but he was 7 before he could make it through the night and be dry in the morning. Some kids go till they are 11.
Get him out of diapers/pull ups if you want, but don't you be getting mad/frustrated at him for not having a mature bladder years before he's capable of having one or for being a deep sleeper.
To a certain degree you are doing this to yourself.
He's not peeing at night on purpose just to irritate you.
I kept my son in pull ups till he was 2 weeks dry every morning. I just didn't want pee soaked sheets, pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, mattress pads and pajamas every morning.

This problem comes up over and over on this site. There is a percentage of kids at all ages who can't stay dry all night. The number goes down as the age goes up, but there is nothing you can do to make your son sleep dry. His body will grow out of this phase eventually.

My daughter was potty trained by age 2, during the day. She gradually stayed dry most nights until she had 2 or 3 wet nights during her eighth year. I hope we're done with it now that she's nine, but some kids wet occasionally until they are 11 or 12.

My kids were potty trained at 3 yo during the day but stayed in pullups at night til they were 5 or 6.

Some kids are not biologically capable of holding their urine while sleeping until the age of 12! Don't force the issue. If spending so much money on diapers bothers you, consider looking into cloth pullups. They exist. I have never used them, so I don't know how good they are. But if you google cloth pullups you should be able to find info & reviews.
Good luck.

Try to help him stretch his bladder. When he has to go, have him hold it for a few seconds longer. Say you are at the store and he has to go. Instead of bee-lining it to the nearest bathroom in the shortest route possible, go the long way in the store.

You don't want him to hold it too long, obviously, so as not to risk a bladder infection or UTI. But little boys have extra equipment that takes up alot of room and so their bladders might not have a chance to stretch and grow like other parts.

I agree with Christy. Keep him in diapers until he is dry - there is nothing you can do when they are asleep! It's a developmental issue and nothing you can "TRAIN" them to do! As expensive as the diapers are, they're still cheaper than the water & detergent needed to constantly wash sheets. Not to mention the sleep interruption for everyone.

I used a waterproof crib liner sheet on top of the fitted bed sheet, then put a second fitted sheet on top. I kept a pack of wipes nearby. If my son leaked out of his diaper, I stripped off his wet pajamas and the diaper, gave him a quick wipe down, and stripped the top sheet and crib liner, leaving a clean and dry sheet underneath.

I think there are diaper "booster" pads you can use to put in a diaper to give extra absorption. That's the biggest problem with a bigger kid - more pee!

I know the cost adds up but seriously, what are your options? Accept it as a normal part of child development. When your child is older and needs expensive equipment for sports or you look at college costs, you will yearn for the days of 30 diapers a month!

Hang in there!

Hi, The:
Does your son sleep straight through the night without waking up, or
do you know.

Does he know when he has to pee during the daytime and goes with your help or alone?

If so, then he has gotten into a habit of urinating in his diaper. How to change that, I don't know.
Good luck.
D.

I finally took the advice of the other moms here and in my family and took away the pullups. My daughter was 4 1/2 at the time and would admittedly "pea in them because I can". We put her in panties at night and for the first few days we took her potty at 10 (before bed for us), then set the alarm for 1am and took her again. Then we stopped with the 10pm trip and just did the 1am trip for a few more days, then we started making that longer also, 1:30, 2:00, 3:00 once she got to 3:00 we started letting her sleep all night. She was fine from then on. It took a couple weeks and a few wet beds but we got through it.

When our son was 3 he wanted to wear unders to bed. I was reluctant again because I like my sleep, but it was best to help him grow up (right?), so we did the same thing and it worked well.

I got a lot of flack from other moms on here that you can't force potty training and they have to be ready and I was scaring her for life because I was forcing her. Well, some kids are just ready and they don't know how to tell you or you don't see the signs. My daughter really did tell me she could pea in the pullup because that is what it was for. It was then I knew she was ready. All you can do is try. If you try everything and he is still wetting the bed then you know he isn't ready, but its worth trying. Good luck, I hope other responders are nice to you.

You may have to just wait it out. Some kidos just can't wake themselves enough when they have to go at night, its all developmental. My nephew at 8 still has problems. That being said, have you tried to limit liquids a couple of hours before bedtime? Also what we did for our daughter was to take away the pull ups ( get a waterproof cover for the mattress) and wake her up once or twice during the night to have her go. I worked nights so my hubby would wake her at midnight and then I would take her to the bathroom at 2 when I got off work. It was a rough week, but we were lucky and she was able to wake herself after a week to go if she needed. We had a few accidents, but she was able to go through the nights. You could try that, but again don't stress everyone out if your son is not ready and can't make it you can't force the issue. Good luck.

DON'T! I've seen far too many children through the years that are sensitive and upset over the idea of wearing a pull-up, good night or whatever to bed. And yet these same kids don't seem to care if they wet the bed even when they are sleeping next to another child they will get wet. The only thing I can think of, since the parents do talk about the situation with me, is that the child has been shamed to the point that they don't want to "wear a diaper" and they are just too apathetic about it to even try.

It's much better to just help them to have some dignity over the matter. A pull-up or goodnight can be put on in private by the child. Friends and family need not even know. In time they will mature on their own.

He may be a kid who is just not physically able to stay dry yet. My DD was in first grade before she could always be dry through the night. This is what I learned:
At night a hormone is released which make our kidneys store fluids for an extended period. As that time period draws to an end the kidneys begin to release fluids to our bladder - which is why we wake in the morning with a full bladder - running to the bathroom. In some people the body doesn't release enough of this hormone until they are older. In some kids it's 3, others 5 or 6 and some kids not until puberty when ALL hormones are at higher levels.

There is often nothing "wrong" with a kid who can't stay dry through the night once all other causes have been eliminated (too many beverages at night, bladder infection, etc.). When my DD was in Kindergarten and 1st grade we tried everything. We limited beverages after 5:00, we woke her at 11:00 to urinate, etc. She'd have a few dry nights and we'd think we had it nailed and she'd go to bed with regular panties - and woosh - the bed was flooded. Then one day towards the end of 1st grade we realized she had been dry at night for a couple of weeks and that was that.

My nephew had this issue for many years and eventually went on medication that boosted the hormone to the kidneys at night and he was dry ever after. He stopped the meds once he reached puberty (he's now in his 20's). A note of caution, however, the medicaiton for this is very expensive and often requires special approval from your insurance company - so until he's older your doc won't even discuss it.

Good luck!

My dd was the same way. She was at least 4 1/2 when she started going all night without a diaper. The same as your son-when potty right before bed and was soaked every morning-I used the store brand diapers to help with the cost. I read from several sources that this is not something you train them to do-it will just happen naturally. She wanted to wear panties at night, we told her that when she went a week without a wet diaper she could wear her panties to bed-we also got a waterproof mattress pad from One Step Ahead-fits over the mattress like a saddle-you put it on top of the bottom sheet, and if they have an accident at night you can just pull the mattress pad off and they can go back to bed-half the time she got the top sheet wet somehow too-but still way easier than dealing with a wet mattress! Best purchase I ever made! It will happen-don't sweat it-but I would recommend a waterproof mattress pad for when he first starts going all night dry-it will save you much frustration!!

My daughter is almost 5 and wears a pull up at night time. Some times she is dry in the morning and sometimes not. She decided one night to try wearing underwear at night, well she woke up to go to the bathroom (awesome) but when she came out she asked for a pull up. She is just not ready mentally to wear underwear all night, I am fine with that, not something to push... at least for my daughter because she will stay up ALL night if wearing underware worried about having to use the bathroom.

He may not be ready, just like my daughter is not ready. I would rather they get good sleep, and my daughter's ped said that many kids (up to age 7) still wear pull ups or similar because they are not ready yet to stay dry all night. How often does he go to the bathroom? Can he wait 12 hours while sleeping? He may just not be ready yet.

You will spend just as much, if not more money on laundry soap, dryer sheets, electricity and water, then gas or even more electricity to run the dryer every day several times to wash the sheets, blankets, mattress pad, pillows, etc...and they will wear out sooner so they'll have to be replaced. My time is worth something too and I'd rather be doing something fun instead of making a bed after doing laundry all morning every morning then perpetually making the bed.

The Pediatric Urologist my older grandson went to told us that it's often constipation causing night time accidents. The pooh lays on the bladder and it just can't hold it due to the weight pressing on it. He also said that limiting fluids doesn't work either due to the kids not having enough urine at once to signal the brain to wake up. They just kind of leak all night and don't just go all at once. Another thing is that getting dehydrated from limiting drinks is just not helpful either. Kids don't know how to tell us they are getting dehydrated. So just be aware of issues you can help with or cause to be worse.

Taking them to a doc won't hurt, it will only make you feel better about what you are doing.

Use night time pull ups and then let him pee before bed and let him sleep and know you won't have to do all that work every day. We use the dark blues ones from Huggies I think. They had Buzz Lightyear but now I think they have other characters on them too.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Potty Patty waterproof underwear for girls. They are called Potty Scotty for boys. They are cloth underwear with a waterproof outer layer. My dd still wears them to bed at night (though she really doesn't need to) They best part is the kids feel they are wet the first time they pee but it doesn't soak through. I imagine it would if they peed multiple times. So in the middle of the night all we had to do was put her on the potty to finish and change her underwear then right back to bed. No having to change jammys or sheets. We still have accidents once in a while but putting her in underwear really worked to get her out of the pullups and on the potty! She sleeps through now and wakes up dry. Good luck! Hang in there mama - it will happen!