Need Help Getting 3 Month Old to Sleep Longer at Night

Updated on March 29, 2008
J.S. asks from Nevada City, CA
32 answers

Hi everyone. I go back to work in a few days and my 3 month old doesn't sleep more than 3 hrs at a time at night. I am going back to 12 hr shifts 6a-6p and I don't think I'll be able to function on so little sleep. A while back she was sleeping like up to 4-6 hrs a night at a time but things seem to have gotten worse now. Some people told me to start feeding her rice cereal but that just seemed to make her sleeping worse every time we tried it. Any advice?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the advice. She does have a bedtime routine. I give her a bath, get her in jammies and feed her. She does sleep swaddled. That's usually the only way she will sleep. She was in a bassinet next to my bed but has outgrown that and is now in her crib in the office which attaches to my room. Unfortunately she cannot be in her own room right now because my SIL and her twin 4 yr old boys are living with us for about another month and they will keep her up.

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A.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Although I think there is no one solution to this problem what I found worked for my son was swaddling him at night. I never swaddled him in the first few months but tried @ about 3 months and it worked. I used a very light weight cotton swaddle so he wouldn't over heat. Hope that helps. I work 12 & 24 hr shifts and know how hard it can be to function. Good Luck

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M.B.

answers from Modesto on

Try some other kind of cereal. Maybe something organic. But keep trying, initially there may be some stomach discomfort (more gas) but you are on the right track.

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A.E.

answers from San Francisco on

Try to keep her up longer in the evening and then when its time for bed give her a nice warm bath and a nice warm bottle and see what happens. It doesnt have to be rice in it but, if it is , put very little beacuse when a baby eats rice cereal for the fist time it changes their digestive system. Also, she still might be too young for it because all babies are different. While you are giving her the bath also wash her hair, then bundle her up real good and feed her a warm bottle.........

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C.H.

answers from San Francisco on

First of all... take a deep breath and relax! You're doing great! Babies are so unpredictable. I have an 8 month old who is a very good sleeper and I did have him on rice cereal at 4 months because he was hungry (not because of the sleeping thing and he's just fine). I agree with some of the other gals, what I found most helpful was a good schedule throughout the day and a bedtime routine that's the same every night. I've also learned that putting my son down earlier sometimes gets him to sleep longer. Also, trying to get her down while she's still awake will do wonders. It might be tough for a few nights as she figures it out but in the end, you are doing the right thing by helping her learn to put herself to sleep. Good luck and hang in there. So many exciting things are going to be happening in the next couple of months!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Redding on

NO WAY on the rice cereal. That is a myth, does not work, and can do more harm than good. I have a 15 mos old and I still dont get a full nights sleep. I ebf until he was of age to have solids, and now obviously he gets solids at all meals, he still nurses during the day as well as at night. I hope you get suggestions, but please dont feed your infant cereal! My dr said NO WAY when i told him what people would tell me. He said he is an INFANT feed him like an INFANT!

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J.W.

answers from Salinas on

Dont give any solids until 6 mos old at least. Their digestion cant handle it and you could give food allergies. At this age they just need to eat that often still. Babies sleep schedules chenge so much as they grow- you kinda just have to go with it. Make sure they have a fully belly of milk every time you feed, that their diaper is good, and that the temp in the room is cozy. You could try some swaddling maybe... Good luck- you may just have to sleep in a few months.

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi!
That sounds tough. The sad news is that a lot of kids don't sleep longer than 3 hrs a night (most sleep less) when they are that young. It will get better in a couple of months, but I realise that is not really what you want to hear. And you should wait with rice ceral until they are 6 months old. Hang in there!

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J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

My girlfriend had luck with what she called a "dream feed" where she or her husband would get the baby up at 11pm (after he'd been asleep for a couple hours) to give a bottle of formula, with little stimulation, and put back to sleep. This seemed to make for a full tummy and 6 hours of sleep! Another idea is to feed more frequently during the day (cluster feed) and lengthen the stretch at night. Good luck!

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

first of all, at 3 months he should only drink breastmilk, no food yet. and my 9 month old barely sleeps for 3 hrs at a time at might! so it might be normal for your baby. good luck!

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A.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I am no expert, but I do have a 5 & 3 year old who are excellent sleepers. What I have found is that the sooner you can get your baby on a daily schedule, the sooner they will be able to trust what is coming next and sleep is included in that. Have you read Baby Wise and or Secrets of the Baby Whisperer? Both books offer scheduling suggestions that I took to heart, maybe not so strictly, but parts were very helpful. Establish your schedule before you start child care and then make sure you write out that schedule and have the care taker stick to it. Good Luck...and take cat naps when you can :o)

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T.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I have a 13 month old son who is an excellent sleeper. We used the book Baby Wise to put him on a sleep schedule. It was wonderful. Hope something works for you.

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J.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J.! I have a 4 mo old girl and she has been sleeping through the night for about 3 months now. We started this at an early age and it still works, hopefully it will work for you if you have not already tried it. We swaddle her us, feed her in the nursery and then use a sound machine and put it on the "white noise" setting just loud enough to drown out other outside noises (about the same as airplane noise) This usually keeps her sleeping soundly through the night. I do wake up at about 5 to feed her (or I have to pump) and she barely wakes up when I come in the room and falls right back to sleep. Hopefully this works for you too!

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Y.R.

answers from San Francisco on

please discuss this with her doctor...i think something is going on that is just now only becoming visible...not to scare you at all: because she also might be very intuitive-sensitive and unamused about the impending change and thinking she can resist it.., seeking to control her reality...Remember, many very old souls are incarnating and many of them have rather serious control issues...sorry if this is too "woo-woo" new age for you...

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi J.,

They same thing happened to me. It's probably because your baby is going to start teething. I know it sounds like it's too early, but my daughter started that and she now has two teeth and she is only 4 months old. Teething tablets help a lot. And when she is really fussy and chewing on her fingers tyelenol will help her too.

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R.Z.

answers from San Francisco on

how is she falling asleep? I find that when I put my baby to sleep when she is asleep she wakes up sooner, but if I put her to sleep a little drowsy and she puts her self to sleep she sleeps longer. 5 maybe 6 hours at a time. I put her down around the same time every night and she sometimes will just lay there in her crib for 10 sometimes 15 mins before she goes to sleep and if she cries I rub her face but I dont' pick her up unless she is crying really hard.
Plus at this age your baby might be going through a growth spurt or might be teething. Good luck ps I wouldn't give rice cereal this early unless your baby is really ready for it, by giving you ques that they want to try to eat solids. I have 3 kids and have never found that giving them cereal helped them sleep longer.

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm pregnant and so I don't have much advice to give. My co-worker said her Dr. said it was okay to wake her baby up in the day though, after long stretches on sleep. That way she'll be more tired at night. I love the name you picked! I was going to use Madelyn Rose but I just found out I'm having a boy.

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A.E.

answers from San Francisco on

It may just be a growth spurt that sometimes happens at 3 mos. In addition to your bedtime routine - it's good to have a routine throughout the day, with naps that last at least 1 hour and no more than 2 hours. My 3 (almost 4) month old sleeps for 5-6 hours then wakes up for a feed, then sleeps for another 2-3 hours. She sleeps in our bed since I'm breastfeeding and it's easier to feed her in the middle of the night. I read somewhere that 5 hours is "sleeping through the night" for young babies. I also wish my baby would sleep longer stretches.

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J.J.

answers from Chico on

Have you tried a bedtime routine? Sometimes a bath then bottle or breast every night at around the same time will sort of train the baby into getting ready for bed. Also have you increased the volume of her feedings? Sometimes is babies are fed more volume throughout the day they are full and can go longer at nightime without waking for feedings. Be patient, their little bodies are growing so rapidly that sometimes during a growth spurt they need more nourishment to support growth. Hope this was helpful. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I know this is "bad" advice, but we've been putting our daughter to sleep on her belly since she was 2 weeks old. She sleeps great on her belly. We only use a fitted sheet in the crib - no loose blankets or toys. She also sleeps in a sleepsack over her pjs.
I also use a white noise machine and keep the room really warm.
Good luck :)

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We had the same problem. We started to put our son down with soft music playing. When he starts to wake up, I now sprint to his room and turn on the same music; we have a remote for the stereo so I don't even have to go all the way into his room. He goes back to sleep right away. We also have a very easy bedtime routine - dinner, bath, bed. That way he goes down full and warm. He starts smiling when he goes from bath to bedroom; he likes going to bed now. Good luck! You are not alone. Most of have been or are there now.

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A.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with the bedtime routine. I have a 4 month old and around 3 months I started doing research online so I could get some sleep. The routine is listed below but the thing that really helps the most is that while I am getting him ready for bed I put a heating pad in his crib so his sheets are warm. I remove it when I am ready to put him down after rocking and his doesn't fully wake up when I put him down now.

We do the bath, feeding and then rocking to sleep or almost asleep. It isn't easy the first 2-3 days because we did combine it a little with crying it out for 15-30 mins after the consoling without picking up. He is now sleeping 8-9 hours.

About the cereal in the bottle our doctor said that breastfed babies should be fed cereal until 5-6 months. But you will find everyone has their own opinion, you know your baby best. Do your research like you are doing and check in with your doctor. It sounds like your daughter is already telling you she might not be ready.

Good luck and keep up the great work! Just remember every baby is different!

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M.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi I'm M. where is baby M sleeping now and is this new?has she ever slept longer? I have 2 Hailey 4 1/2 and Trace 18 mos. She (Hailey) was a great sleeper Trace is not and I need 8 hrs of sleep. Once breast feeding was over I put in ear plugs and my husband had to get him back to sleep he copes better than I w/less sleep. Sounds bad but it's just a hurdle what works for one may not work for you. Just be loose and surrender now, some things can only be controlled so far before you end up stressing out. Right now the 18 mos. is in our bed because he climbs out of his crib and I'm to tired to fight him on staying in his room yelling/crying and waking his sister up so for now he can sleep with us. Now when I go to bed I'll put him back in his crib. Good luck

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.-
My son has had difficulties with sleep since birth, so you are not alone! He is now 6 months old, and sleeping better ever since my husband and I changed his bedtime routine. Instead of feeding him as the last step in the routine before bed, we put it second (after a bath, and before a book and cuddling). If babies are always fed right before they drift off, they start to associate going to sleep/falling back to sleep with feeding. So, your baby could be waking so often and crying out for you b/c she is used to eating in helping her fall to sleep. We also religiously put him to sleep awake, so again, he can get used to drifting off without eating and without our help. This way, he is learning to comfort himself. Finally, we have adopted the Ferber method at night when he cries - we do not pick him up we simply pat his tummy, shush him in a soft voice, and check on him at various intervals when he is crying. It usually only takes a few checks and tummy pats before he calms down and drifts off. These three changes have made our night MUCH better! Good luck to you!! I know it sucks to hear your baby cry, but they have to in order to learn how to sooth themselves. We stopped swaddling him awhile back, because at about 3-4 mos, babies tend to fight it more than enjoy it and want their freedom while they sleep with their arms. Try a white noise machine too, as it helps to drown out house and street sounds. It reminds them of being in the womb, too.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Does she need to be fed everytime she wakes up ? One thing I did with second child was starting the same routine was to go to her and caress her back while making a soothing sound like a soft "shhhh", she would calm down and finally go back to sleep on her own; after a few days of this, I would do the same sounds but from further away, and furhter away, until she learn to put herself back to sleep. She was sleeping through the night solid by the time she was 5 or 6 months old ! But, as always it is different for every child: I had tried this with my 1st born and she woke up every 3 hours every night for 1 year !!! All I had to do was walk to her crib, pick her up and put her back down and she would go straight back to sleep... for another 3 h ...lol... Keep on trying. Good luck!!

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

3 months old is WAY to young to start rice cereal - talk to your ped he/she will agree. In fact, it often makes an infants sleeping patterns MORE irregular as, at 3 months, their little digestive tracts just aren't mature enough to process solid food.

Do you breastfeed or formula feed? If you just breastfeed now, I would suggest trying to pump some extra milk so that, before she goes to bed at night, you can suppliment what she already gets breastfeeding with just a few more ounces, just to see if that helps. If you formula feed, try offering her an ounce more formula than you normally would to see if she takes it. She might be waking up because she is hungry - she also might be waking up because she sleeps too much during the day. Don't let her sleep all day long!!! She will want to, and you will be tempted to let her because you need the break too. Wake her up during the day after two hours and sleeping and try to keep her awake and active for a few hours before you let her go back to sleep - you want her tired at night, not during the day!

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

If you are breast feeding I would give her a bottle either of formula or breast milk before she goes to sleep. I was told that at night you produce less milk so that could be the reason. Maybe the cereal is giving her gas!! Also my doctor told me that you should try and not pick them up and feed them. She's on a schedual and you just need to try and break it. I had a hard time with my son. still at 15 months it's not consistent

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I would check out The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems book. The book has different scenarios of sleeping problems and how to remedy them. It is similar to Baby Wise, but with a gentler approach and much more explanatory. I used the book and both my kids have been sleeping through night since 3 months. Most of the sleep issues (if I recall correctly) were resolved by more feeding during the day, a daily routine and a bedtime routine. You can also check out www.thebabywhisperer.com - there are message boards there, too.

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J.H.

answers from Visalia on

I didn't get a chance to read through all the responses so if I'm repeating one, I'm sorry. Do you swaddle her? With my son we started using the miracle blanket and immediately he went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping 5 hours straight. Might be worth a try. Good luck and you can do it.

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I am in the same boat with my 4 month old. I want her to sleep for longer periods but don't want to do anything involving letting her cry. I hear two books--Baby Wise, and The No Cry Sleep Solution--have been helpful for many mamas. Is your daughter in her own bed or co-sleeping? Maybe try the opposite?

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L.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello, I have a 6 week old son and per my son's doctor I was told to wake him up during the day every 2hrs to have him eat and to let him sleep as long as he wants at night. It seems to be working. He goes 5hrs at night without waking up and then after the 5hrs wakes every 2hrs. I know you are going back to work, but perhaps you can have your sitter or who ever is watching your baby wake them during the day so they will sleep more at night. Good Luck.

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi

I have a two year old and when she was born I refused to use the letting her to cry method , I did it with my first and It was a nightmare !!! Anyways while still pregnant with the second child I did some research. I bought a book called the no cry method . It gives you great tips on how to get your baby to sleep longer & take naps . Some babies go through stages where they refuse to take a nap . Any ways it is not a quick fix but it does work if you commit to it . It explains sleep cycles and how your body works during sleep . I highly recommend this for any mom with a kids .

M. M

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I've herard having an early bedtime (7:00 p.m.) helps, as well as having a good nap routine in the daytime.

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