Need Help from an Experienced Mom Getting Breastfeed Baby to Sleep More than 3 H

I don't have other children but my son who is 7 months old had the same sleeping problem - he'd wake up every 2-3 hours. I have been told by my ped that sleep begets sleep - meaning hes not sleeping enough during the day. The average 5 month old should be having atleast 3 naps (with two being atleast 1.5 hours each and the thrid being around 45 minutes). Once I got him on a nap and bedtime schedule - its done wonders. I work full time so I know how it feels to be exhausted. I'm surprised I've made it to work at times. It's all in the scheduling. Theres a message board on babycenter.com on sleep training. Although I haven't done all suggested by the host she helped me ALOT.

Have you read "Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam? I read it just after having my second baby and it helped tremendously. I attribute my baby's calm demeanor, great eating and sleeping in large part to what I learned by reading that book. I wish I had read it before having both my kids.

I have 3 kids - when my first was 3 months old, we were a mess, feeding on demand, carrying him around, little to no sleep for me or him, obvious stomach pains, etc. I was introduced to a company called "Growing Kids God's Way" that had (12 years ago) a tape/workbook on babies - teens. I had a set fedexed to the house. Within 3 weeks, he was sleeping through the night and no more stomach aches. I even had the daycare follow the plan too. I then used the program on my next two from birth. I even discovered that when my son was in the NICU that they had the babies on a similar pattern - yet in the maternity ward they were sending folks home with totally different instructions.

The basic premise is that humans thrive on consistency and we need "proper" nourishment at regular intervals to promote the best digestive health. Additionally we require a certain amount of sleep to nourish/replenish ourselves as well. Children need to be "taught to sleep" through the various cycles. As parents, we need to welcome our little ones into our family, not restructure our family around them.

For what it's worth, my kids have slept through the night at 6-8 weeks, always took 2 naps, then down to one when they got older (important down time for the moms too), ate on a reliable schedule each time they woke up (funny that my nutritionist has put me on the same schedule). I also believe this program can be credited with my children's diverse menu/taste and good appetites (my 8 year old's favorite vegetable is kale -yuck). It worked so well that my 2nd son's doctors were amazed with how he thrived despite his digestive disorder as most kids had a rough time - during his first 4 months he had two operations...

Anyway - check it out!

I would start by putting him to bed earlier. Transition by moving the bedtime up every half hour or 15 min each night until you are at a time when he is sleeping longer. Our 6 mo old barely makes it past 6pm most nights and will have his longest sleep at this time. Usually until 10 or 12. At that point I nurse him again and put him back in the Amby (which is in our room, but same concept as your crib - he is out of our bed) Then when he wakes again, I bring him into bed wth us, swaddle him and he sleeps great the rest of the night. If he wakes once to nurse I can so it while still laying down.

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is a great book to help with naps, etc. Since you are working, you need to have clear communication with your childcare provider about your expectations re: napping, etc. Our baby will nap once in the morning (usually around 9 or 10) again after lunch (around 12 or 1) and a later afternoon nap (around 2:30 or 3) and to bed between 6-6:30 and goes through with nighttime sleep (still with the nursings I mentioned above) until 6:30-7.

Also, when we do the swaddle and in our bed thing, sometimes he is awake, but because he is with us he does not cry and we can still sleep while he is taking his time going back down.

Hope this helps!

I'm amazed at the variance of advice that you're given, and I definitely don't agree with some of it. I had similar problems with my baby at this age and learned some things from my brother, who is a pediatric physician, and my father-in-law who is a family practice physician. They both gave me similar advice.
First, do not 'get' your child to sleep. Lay him down in his crib at a consistent time each night while he is still awake (I always shoot for 7:00 with my girl). Your son needs to learn how to get himself to sleep for when he wakes up in the night. I had the exact same problem with my baby waking up every two hours or so after a move, her six month mark, and starting solids (after nothing but breastfeeding), and realized that if you 'get' them to sleep, they rely on you to 'get' them back to sleep when they wake up during the night. Try giving him a good meal of cereal, a bit of nursing, and then putting him in bed.
Also, a large reason why babies wake up that often (when we think they should be getting over it already) is purely psychological, not hunger. They habitually wake up and know if they cry long enough they'll get mom. This is the age at which they start realizing their impact on their surroundings. It's really hard to just ignore your baby when you feel like they need you, but that is, more or less, what you have to start doing. The advice about reassuring them every 10 minutes is good in this case. I have noticed that if I let my girl cry a few minutes, she will usually fall asleep again on her own. Also, try for longer or more frequent naps during the day in his own crib. At this age, the more they sleep, the more they sleep.
I hope this helps. It definitely helped me to know some of these things.

M.--Try putting some rice cereal in his bottle at night. When my son was about 4 or 5 months(he's 9m now and sleeps"like a baby") we had the same problem and she suggested 1 teaspoon per ounce of fluid when he went to bed to make him fuller. It took a few nights of getting up once or maybe a second time around 5am--and then he slept from 7:30-8ish until at least 5:30am. Now he sleeps from 7p-6or6:30a!! Except for the fact that my 7y.o. stays up until 9p, I could be getting alot of sleep! Good luck....write back if you need any other hints:) peace,H.:)

I recommend the books Baby Whisperer or Babywise (both have a similar philosophy). I realize you probably don't have a lot of time to read, but this would be well worth the effort. Our baby had the same story your baby has and we got desperate enough to put him on the recommended schedule. The theory is if they are on this schedule they will sleep better at night. It seems odd, but now I swear by it because it worked like magic. It took about two weeks for us to see the results. It's now been a month and four nights ago he slept through the night. We were floored. I feel like a new women getting a full night of sleep. He's pretty much slept through the night every night since. I think it's good for a babies nervous system to have a routine of eat, activity (meaning lying on their back or taking a bath ... not much), sleep. And this routine just cycles throughout the day. At my babies age he does this routine every three hours. At your babies age he will cycle every four hours. But get the book, it explains it much better.

M. dear,

I'd throw out the books, your child is hungry and needs more food and you need to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. I am 100% committed to breastfeeding and any that you give is great but it sounds like your milk is dwindling because you are requiring too much of your own resources. There is a mother's milk tea(safewaY) to stimulate but feel good even if you can only nurse a couple times a day: you are still passing great immune building immunoglobulins! Teeth are coming soon and all the other animals stop nursing there so perhaps it is a natural cycle. I hope this helps, if not, ignore it, you're the MOM!

Hi M.,
I also have a 4 1/2 yr old daughter, 2 1/2 yr old son and a 6 month old son. My youngest was doing the same thing as yours until we put him on Reglan and Zantac for acid reflux. As soon as he had the medications he would go to sleep (always in his crib-even for the 2 day naps) and stay asleep. Have you noticed signs of reflux?

Hi, I breastfed both of mine until they were like 2 years old. They were both terrible independent sleepers during the day - could only get them to sleep for maybe 1/2 hr -45 mins. then they'd cry and I'd have to nurse/hold them in the rocker to get them to go back to sleep. Same thing as you at night, too. They'd only sleep about 2 -3 hrs then be up. I could never get them to stay in their cribs by themselves. They just wouldn't sleep there. At first, when they were less than a year I brought them into my bed between my husband and I. That worked because I didn't have to completely wake up to feed them and I got really good at their stirring cues so I could give them milk laying on my side before they actually started crying. After a year of this I had to move into the guest BR with the baby to prevent disrupting my husband's sleep. I stay at home while he works. I feel bad for you having to go to work being sleep deprived. I was at least able to take a nap with the baby during the day if I was exhausted. You can't. But, this is what worked for me -- I put a bed rail (that pushed down on top of the mattress so that the baby couldn't roll and get caught between the bedrail and the mattress) on the opposite side of the bed, put a crib pad on top of the mattress to catch anything and slept with the baby in the queen bed in our guest room. I had a temp. diaper station on the floor in the guest room with extra diapers, t-shirts/onsies - so I didn't have to leave the room to get anything. I had a bedrail on my side, too, that I could put up if I needed to leave the room. When the baby gets bigger, you will need to worry if he is going to crawl down to the end of the bed and fall off. We put double pillows initially but that won't hold them once they start rolling and crawling. You need to keep a keen ear on the moniter and perhaps get a video monitor to make sure you know what position the baby is in at all times. I'm not saying this is the best way to do it -- its just what worked for me - an exhausted Mom just trying anything to get her baby to sleep. Good luck!

M.,

I have a 14 month old and breast feed until he was 12 months. I work 50-60 hours a week. I started mixing solids at 6 months. You need to do what is best for the family as a whole to get sleep, whatever you need to survive. If it is cosleep or cryout, whatever works for you. I hate to tell you that my son didn't really sleep for the whole 10-12 hours at night until around 11,12 months. I started trying to put him to bed to "cry it out" around 5 months, I would let him cry 15 minutes and if he still cried I would nurse. And than he started teething. I would sometimes cosleep just to be able to sleep, my son was fine, he sleeps by himself now and I got the sleep I needed for work. Does he sleep if you rock and slowly place in the crib? If your husband rocks and than place in the crib does this help, because mom "smells like food" I often had to have my husband put him down after I nursed.

Keep hanging tough with the nursing. Good for you for even making it to 5 months and with two other children! Yey you! You will look back and almost forget that you lost a little sleep. I think it is the rare child that sleeps "through the night" at an early age, and you are truley blessed to have those two other good sleepers.

I would take a look at the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It sounds to me like he is just in the habit of waking and doesn't have any means of self-soothing. I would recommend an earlier bedtime, too. I have 7 month old twin girls and at that age they were in bed at 5:30 or 6 pm and slept until 4 am, ate and went to back to sleep until 7 or so. Also 3-4 hours during the day is a good amount of daytime sleep. I think if you can get the daytime sleep in a good routine you may have more success at night. Most babies thrive on routine and benefit from it. We have very consistently done upstairs play time, bath time, book, nursing and bed. And our girls go to bed very nicely!

Hi there!
Sounds like an exhausting schedule! I can certainly identify with the conflict wanting sleep and wanting to make sure babe is ok. What I found worked well for my kids was having Daddy or someone else take over some of the nightime feedings. When babe starts getting a bottle instead of breast a several nights in a row, suddenly babe isn't so hungry anymore. Maybe start with one nightitme feeding at a time. Babe might put up quite a fight, but stick to it and it shouldn't last more than a 2-3 days. Good Luck!

Hi M.,
You didn't mention Daddy - but if he is around I suggest letting Daddy try to put him back to bed at 1am. Daddy won't smell like food, so that should help. When he smells you he knows a comforting breast is an option.

Good luck!

D. - Mom to three - all were breastfed til they were at least 1 yr.

Something that worked really well for me was "tanking" the babies up before bed. I would nurse them every hour in the evening and the last feeding I would let them eat for much longer than normal. Usually on the last feeding they'd fall asleep. At least by feeding them so much I knew (especially for a 5 month old) that they had eaten enough. Then if they awoke in the middle of the night, I would try to let them cry for as long as I could stand it and then get them, but eventually by waiting for a while to get them, they would learn to sleep through. In fact, I just went through this a couple of months ago with our then 8 month old. Something that helped was allowing him to sleep with his older (2 year old) sibling. I was terrified of this idea at first but was highly encouraged to try it by my mother and mother in-law. They told me that the siblings learn to sleep through it. They were right and the bonus is that our little guy is now comforted by knowing his sister is in the room too. It does sound like your little one just misses you during the day and enjoys the comfort feeding at night, so this set up might help him if he is just lonely.
This whole process took about 2 weeks total to work through perfectly--I'd say 1 week until we had him sleeping through the night, but 2 weeks until a good schedule was worked out. And something else that helped to keep my sanity was just remembering that "this too shall pass" and one day you will miss him snuggling and clinging to you--though I know the latter is especially difficult at 3am!
Take care!

I am a mother of a 3 mo old girl and she sleeps pretty well at night (usually 8-10 hour stretches) and good during the day as well. Books aren't the answer to everything, but I have been using the techniques in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which basically explains that the more sleep a baby gets the more they want. Parents often keep their children awake too much during the day thinking it will help their child make up that sleep at night. However, the book suggests that infants can not handle being awake for more than 2 hours at a time. I tried this with my daughter. She will nap for a while (2-3 hours sometimes, but sometimes only 1 hour) and then get up. I will play with her, feed her, change her, etc. and then have her back asleep within two hours. Sometimes she can only stay awake for one before she is too tired. Once I got her naps going well during the day she started to sleep longer at night. It was at that time that we moved her from our room to her own crib. She has continued sleeping great at night and goes down between 9-11 and will get up between 5-7 and then she goes right back to sleep for 2-3 hours. The next phase is to get her bedtime moved earlier! :) Best wishes for you and your son!

As a busy mom of 6 my best advise to you is to bring him back to your bed. A lot of kids are just not ready to sleep on their own. that young. You will get some extra time with him and I'm sure a lot more sleep even if you are breastfeeding during the night. If you really feel he needs to be in his own bed you might try putting the crib next to your bed so that you have less distance to travel during the night. He may just be looking for extra mommy time and when he receives it you'll al get more sleep.

M.:
Have you tried putting some baby cereal in the milk bottle before bed? Also, bathe him at night, instead of during the day...

M., I have an almost 3 month old son and he just strted sleeping through the night. What I had started doing was giving him a bottle with a good amount of Gerber Rice baby cereal in it. The cereal thickens up the milk and if your child is hungry, this may do the trick. I also put my son to sleep on his stomach. I am well aware that all the doctors and child groups say to put babies on their back to sleep, but my son is much more comfortable on his stomach. He would wake up throughout the night lying in his back. I hope this helps and works for you. I know what being sleep deprived is like.

M.--mom of two. 5 year old daughter, 2 1/2 month old son

M.,

I have 3 boys (4, 16m, 4m). Sleeping for us has always been the issue that can make life miserable. I find that each of my boys and my infant slept/sleep best in their bouncey seat or swing. Anything that keeps the baby slighty elevated and helps soothe him back to sleep is great. The bouncey seat is the best b/c if the baby starts to fuss his movement causes the seat to bounce, thus helping him get back to sleep. Since you've co-slept you may just have to suffer through a couple of bad nights, but hopefully it'll improve. Good luck. You're not alone.

There is hope. My daughter did the same thing until about six months. I nursed her so I was the one getting up. I had a 2 year old and worked full time my biggest wish be came for 6 hours of un-interupted sleep.:> After my daughter was six months old she slept for the wished for 6 hours.

M.,
you do have a real problem, i feel so sorry for you and your health honey, but don.t give up,it is not hopeless.
Have you tried putting cereal in his bottle? This always helped with my babies, make sure also that he is warm enough, try putting a soft teddy bear or other soft animal beside him. Another idea is to use a tiny clock, put it inside the zpppered part of a soft toy, this resembles the heart beat of a mother, sound silly, hey it works sometimes, even for baby puppys. Good luck honey, and god.s blessings ginny meade, a grand and grand mother of gloucester va.

I'm going to give you the advice I wish I would have taken. If your milk is already drying up then, I would supplement with a little formula before you but him to bed. It just sticks longer. I think breastfeeding is so special, I just never figured out how to make it through the night without them with me so I got to sleep too. My son is three and I STILL can't get him to stay in his own bed. I applaud you for having the patience I wish I would have had. He may need you to still give him a snuggle while he eats his bottle, he is use to being close to you. I would put one of your dirty night shirts in with him too. That way he can smell you. Good luck. Keep up the good work!!

You can drink hot tea or take a hot shower before feeding to get your milk to flow better and thicken. Feed him for 30 minutes, switching breast after 15 minutes everytime. Start introducing him to food. Use the dry baby cereal. Put in a bowl, using your breast milk and feed with a spoon, like oatmeal. His belly should be full. Also, give him a warm bath, then a warm bottle of breast milk and wrap up tight in a receiving blanket(like in the hospital) right before going to bed. Lay him down and leave the room.

You'll have to adjust as he grows and stays up more during the day.

BTW...sometimes you'll have to let him cry.

I pray this will help you! Be Blessed.

When did you start the solids? I started my 6 month old on solids at about 4.5 months and the same thing happened to me. She was almost sleeping through the night (she was on only formula by then) and then when we introduced cereal (which she hated by the way) and some veggies she started waking up every two hours. This went on for about a month and has now stopped. She does wake up once a night to be fed.

Her system was just not used to the foods and it created a lot of gas and just general 'busy-ness' in her intestines and tummy. I started only feeding her solids in the late afternoon and early evening and then give her a bottle after her bath around 8 or 8:30. This seems to have done the trick. We're still not sleeping through the night but at least we aren't up every two hours.

Good luck!

stop co sleeping! it can be deadly and your baby will not learn to self soothe himself. after six to eight weeks most all babies do not need to eat all night give him his last bottle at eleven pm fresh diaper and all and when he wakes up give him a paci just for a week or so so he learns to self soothe himself its ok if he cries pat his back do not take him out! try to weather permitting take him out for some nice long walks the fresh air does wonders. after a week or so he should be on schedule for you and then gradually put him down earlier.
good luck

You have a lot on your plate! I have many friends w/ children and I have a 9mo and a 2 yr. old. I have found those that rocked or walked the baby to sleep or co-slept w/ them had the hardest time transitioning to a crib. It sounds like he is used to snuggling to you and that is what he likes and knows, cryin is his only way to get what he wants. If he has been fed try putting him down and letttin him cry for 5 min. then rub his back or pick him up for a minute, but if you start feeding him again I don't think it will work. Then try 10min. and I went up to 20 min. w/ my boys. They cried but eventually fell asleep and they were fine. Your son has to LEARN how to fall asleep on his own and by himself. I know it is hard to hear him cry and you just want to sleep, maybe start on a weekend but w/ anything you have to be consistant. Remember your son will not come to harm by crying for a little while. Good luck.

Have you tried feeding him about 30 mins before he usually lies down for bedtime? Also start a routine. That makes a lot of difference. I have a baby that's nearly 5 months as well. She feeds at 11pm and wakes about about 7 or 8 am. This is after she breast feeds for a long time (eating for 30 mins at 7;9; and 10:30 pm) Of course I'm exhausted after all of this but she sleeps through the night. Perhaps a binky will help soothe him to sleep or some music or similar? We have a mobile in Leilani's room that she loves to look and falls asleep to. Sometimes, sadly, you have to let them try to cry it out. A rule of thumb that I got from my pediatrician was that if they cry more then 15 mins then they probably mean it. You may have to gradually pull yourself out of the room. (That's the way it was w/ my 3.5 yr old when she was a baby.) I would try the cereal though before putting him down for the nite if you suspect it's hunger keeping him up. Good luck!

I'm not sure if you're doing this already, but what helped to transition my little one into the crib was to start with one nap in the crib during the day. He got used to being in there, and falling asleep by himself, instead of in the room with us. It only took a few days before he was sleeping in his crib all night without any problems.
By 5 months old, they should be able to go for a 5-6 hour stretch at night without needing food... so I wouldn't worry that he's hungry when he wakes in the middle of the night. Babies are creatures of habit, and are learning new things every day. If, when he cries, you immediately pick him up, then that is what he's learned.... crying=attention. It is so hard to let your baby cry, but maybe you could start slowly. When he wakes up crying, go into his room and quiet him down without picking him up or giving him a bottle (ie. sing to him, talk to him, rub his tummy). Once he calms down, leave the room. If he starts crying again, wait another 5 minutes before going back in, and repeat. Each time, wait for 5 additional minutes. For the first few nights, it will be rough... but eventually, he will learn to self-soothe, and you will both get a good night's sleep!!

I have a 6 month old who isn't sleeping through the night either. But, my doctor suggested working on one waking at a time. So, now, when he wakes at midnight I don't feed him. I go in, give him his paci and he usually goes right back to sleep. Sometimes, I turn on his mobile. Once he no longer wakes for that feeding, I will try the 5 am waking.

I had to let my older son cry because he was just a different kid. But, if your baby knows how to sooth himself to sleep on his own, ever, then you may not have to let him cry.

Also, if you want to increase you milk supply, you could always add a session of pumping once a day until it increases. And make sure you are drinking enough water. When I start drinking too much soda and not enough water, I notice that I loose my supply.

I wouldn't put cereal in his bottle. Everything I have read says that it is a choking hazard. Try spoon feeding him so me cereal for dinner.

Sounds like he's having a problem coping with the change you are implementing. I would pick your routine and be consistent. If you've fed him before bed and know he's eaten well, then don't worry about if he's hungry. He can learn to self soothe and all should be fine. If he cries longer than 15 mins I'd start by going in and just rubbing his back, and then leave...but it sounds like you've rumbled his routine and if you stay consistent he should learn it and be okay...just be patient with yourself and be confident too! Good luck

I found with both of our kids that being 5 minutes ahead of them on their schedule worked to gain their trust. Because you know his two hour sleeping pattern this should work well. What you should try, is to wake the baby up about 3 to 5 minutes before he would usually wake up. Feed him and put him back to sleep. Babies wake up and cry out of some type of frustration, it gets them what they want so they continue to do it, making it a habit. If you can get ahead of him a few times and "build trust" he will be less likely to wake up. After the first night make your 5 minutes, 10 minutes later, the next night 30 and so on. He will learn to trust you and wake up when you tell him to do so.