Need Advise on Anxiety of a 9 Year Old Flying Unaccompanied for the First Time

I think it's perfectly normal for her to be nervous, and nothing that you and she can't handle. I started flying alone when I was 10, and I remember it as being great fun--I felt very important and grown-up, and LOVED having the trip alone to see my grandma or cousins. It made me feel very special. All that being said, it is also a big deal for a young girl. I would talk her through EVERYTHING that is going to happen, and relate it to things that are familiar to her--tell her you'll go to the airport just like when you fly together, you'll go through security with her, etc.... Talk her through every step, making clear that the only time she WON'T be with someone she knows is when she's actually sitting on the plane. The airlines usually sit unaccompanied kids near the flight attendants, so she'll almost always have someone nearby to ask for help if she needs it. I was recently on a flight with my DD as a lap child--who also usually get seated near flight attendants, at least on American--and we were next to a young boy (I think 8) who was flying from Dallas to Boston to see his dad (his parents were divorced). He and my DD played together, and the flight attendants gave us lots of attention, and it went great!

You might also want to have your DD help you pack a special carry-on bag for the trip. Take her out to the dollar store, or big lots, or wherever, and pick out special snacks, new coloring books, or whatever will be fun for her on the trip. When you get home from the store, have her help you pack them in a backpack or other small bag she can carry, then put the bag aside for the trip. She'll look forward to the chance to play with her new stuff, which she'll know will only happen on the plane! If you're willing and able to spend a little more money, you could also take her out to buy a new outfit for her plane trip--again, it will give her something to look forward to, and help her feel special!

Good luck! I know it's probably as nerve wracking for you as for her, but she'll be fine, and it's a great experience for both of you to have her stretch her independence!

i would try and get to the airport a little extra early and see if you can go through security with her. I think you can get a special pass to go through at the front check in station. Then goto the gate early and see if there are any kiddos on the same flight that are flying alone too-- to see if they can talk or even sit together some how.... or trying calling the airlines to see if she can sit close to any kiddos flying alone.... That way she will have someone to talk too.
Is this her first time flying altogether or just by herself? Let her pick out some special activities to do on the plane and use a spcial travel bag etc...
Explore more exactly what she is afraid of leaving you all/ the actual flight? traveling alone)
Reassure her again that the airline agents are going to be with her etc...

Buy a ticket for yourself and fly her out. Tell the airline your situation; I bet they'll cut you a deal since you're just flying out and back. That's what I would do, no question. If she's that stressed about it, I'd pony up and go with her. Nine is pretty young. My daughter is almost nine and I know she'd feel really worried about making that trip, too.

A

I can see her having anxiety if this is her first flight, which I hope it is not. Also, non-stop is a priority for children flying alone in my book.

My daughter is 13 and she flew alone last summer at 12. She did extrememly well because the flight she was on 3 months earlier with us had a major emergency and landing. She wanted to drive home from Vegas!

I suggest getting to the airport early. Talking to some staff and having them reassure her. It always helps to get reassurance from someone other than mom, etc. Make sure your paperwork is filled out exactly as to who will be picking her up upon her arrival and when she gets home. You will be able to get a blank boarding pass to accompany her to the gate and see that she gets on the plane. Whomever picks her up will be able to do the same thing so let her know that when she steps out of that plane.....her relative will be there with id to pick her up. Same goes for when she comes home. She'll probably have less anxiety when she is heading home because she gets to see mom!!

She will be fine. Yes, she gets special treatment. It sounds like she is getting some pre-trip jitters which is normal. I do that too!

Good luck!

Maybe pretend your house is the airport & plane (set up chairs like plane seats, etc), and practice what to do? I traveled alone when I was a little older, and it was fine.

One thing I would do is make sure the flight attendants either a) seat your daughter next to a female, or other children or b) check on her a LOT if she has to be seated next to a male. It's just a chance you don't want to take that someone would be inappropriate. (sorry to be a downer!)

I'm sure she'll be fine and enjoy herself once she gets going. make sure she has all her favorite stuff - crayons, maybe travel dvd player, etc. Enjoy!

Hey H.,
I am sure it is tough when your 'baby' is flying alone for the first time and is scared to death. Of course it is only natural that you try to sooth their emotions, but sometimes in doing so we add to their anxiety. If you take the 'this no big deal', 'kids do it every day', 'you'll be fine approach', you might find they are less aprehensive. Just a thought.

Another fun approach is to make a family role play event. Set up chairs in the living room that is the plane, you can be the attendent, and your husband the pilot. Make signs for gate, baggage and restooms and place them around the house. Ask questions along the way like "where do you go know", "What will you do next". Make it as interactive as possible. Make it fun too!

The first time is always the hardest...the fear of the unknown. BUT as they grow and mature, the message they are learning it that they can do anything and be independent. Their self-esteem will only grow higher.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

T.