B.S. asks from North Branch, MI on March 31, 2008
Need Advice for Bottles and Pacifiers
My son is 13 months old. He refuses to drink from anything but his bottle. I have tried putting the sippy cup with milk in front of him when he is hungry but he just cries horribly until i get the bottle. My sister says we spoiled him with cuddling.
Also he will not go with out his pacifier and actually wakes up crying when it falls out of his mouth at night. I am afraid I have doomed myself. He goes to daycare and they are appaled he wont even hold his own bottle.
T.T. answers from Detroit on April 01, 2008
I think you might have to take some well needed time off work and teach him bug boy things granted the first child learns by himself he should be learning from the kids at daycare. About the binki It is a little odd that he wakes up when it falls out of his mouth. He should at least reach for it to soothe himself. try not running in there when he cries for a couple nights unless it is unbareable screaming
J.C. answers from Detroit on April 01, 2008
T.W. answers from Grand Rapids on April 01, 2008
I understand, it was hard to break my 15 mth old grandson, I started introducing him to a cup first because he didn't like the sippee cup. (I packed away all the bottles and put them out of sight so he wouldn't scream for it if he saw the bottles) and he liked drinking out of a cup since everyone else did and he wanted to be big like us he was then about 13 months also. I then got one of those sippee spill proof cups, I would take a sip and then he would we would share at first he wouldn't he would throw it down, but he eventually gave in and drank from the sippee.
As far as the pacifier he still takes one, and we are trying to ween him from that and I try only to give it to him when it is time for bed or a nap, but once in awhile there is a slip and he finds one! And I just take it away and distract him with a toy. I much rather him have a pacifier than use his thumb my youngest daughter ended up with a overbite from thumb sucking and $5000 later for braces!
L.O. answers from Detroit on March 31, 2008
my daughter is 27 months she still has her paci.. but they are in hr bed only. Soon your son will be able to talk and understand more .. then you can try to get the paci back to bed only.. that is the first step. My duaghter loves her paci.
Bottles... your son will eventually lose interest in them.. there were several times when my daughter lost interest in the bottle and we could have gotten rid of them.
We finally got rid of the bottle at just over 2 years. It was not a big deal.. we stopped offering the bottle,, if she asked I gave it to her. the last couple of bottles she only took about an ounce and then she said she was all done.
there is no big hurry.. some kids enjoy being the baby and want the bottles and cuddling longer.. my son has no interest in being a baby.. He is using cups much earlier than his sister.
A.M. answers from Detroit on April 01, 2008
My kids never used a bottle or pacifier but isn't 13 months still young enough where using a bottle and pacifier is ok? That is still so young. I wouldn't want to take it away before they are ready...that's how oral issues start. But I'm no expert..
L.C. answers from Saginaw on April 01, 2008
It does become a trying time when people tell you spoiled your child. Here is some things I learned when I was trying to resolve the same issues.
1st- The cuddling thing is bs. You cannot spoil an infant whose only thing in life is to be fed,and to feel secure. The study that was the grounds was also done on monkeys and when a researcher took the research a little longer stated it was for a means of security not spoiling.
2nd- My daughters peditrician, when asked when I should get rid of the pacifier, told me it is used at this age as a soother. Sucking is a soothing action. It will not hurt them.
My advice to you is to do what you and your husband feel is right. As you know everyone wants to tell you that your wrong when it comes to raising a child. If you go with your instinct it is probably right.
A.S. answers from Detroit on April 02, 2008
Hello. I completely understand your frustration. My son now almost 3 had his bottle and pacifier until he was a little over 2. The more I tried to take away his bottle and pacifier the worse he seemed to be attatched to them. Anyway, my mother kept telling me its okay when he is ready he will give them up. Some children need that security. When my son had his 2nd birthday I told him that now that he was getting to be a big boy he should try to drink out of a cup. He actully wanted to sometimes drink out of a cup. He bottle just seemed to slowly fade to a nighttime thing, then he didn't want it. He threw it away himself. His pacifer lasted a little longer. We actually went on a camping trip to cedar point and we told him we must have left it there. He was a little upset, but then that night he went to sleep without it.
So out of that long winded info, I guess I'm tring to say he will give up his attachment to his bottle and pacifier on his time. And that is okay. Don't let anybody else make you feel that he shouldn't have them. And as far as him not holding his own bottle, my son didn't either until he was almost 2. I asked the Dr. he said that children develop coordination for things a different rates, that it was okay. If by the time he was 2 he wasn't holding it, then he said maybe he would need to see a specialist, for slow development, fortunatly his coordination got better just before he turned 2.
Just a little more info, I used to compare my daughter now 5 to my son, not a good thing, my daughter was holding her bottle by 5 to 6 months old, done drinking a bottle by the time she was 9 months old. So when I would compare them, I couldn't understand, she did this so early, and he is just so slow. But now with him being almost 3 he is now at about where my daughter was at 3.
So just take a deep breath and know you did not doom yourself. He will get there, he just needs a little more time.
J.T. answers from Grand Rapids on March 31, 2008
The only kind of sippy cup that my daughter would use for the longest time were made by Nuby. They were not the ones that look like a bottle, but they are short and round with handles on the sides. The top is basically a soft spot that is very similar to a bottle nipple. My daughter also did not hold her bottle (our pediatrician was adamant that she not hold her own bottle), but she would use this cup on her own. Here is a link so you can see what they look like. I think both Target and Walmart used to carry them (handles were slightly different, but tops were the same) http://www.babybungalow.com/nunosp7ozcup.html.
As for the pacifier, again we were told by our Dr. that it was OK that she have it until she was 5 if she needed it. As long as she was still sucking on it, she still needed it. If she was chewing, etc on it, then we could get rid of it. She still sucks it when she sleeps and she is 2 1/2. There have been nights that she wakes up and can't find it and just cries until she gets it back.
Hope this helps.
T.H. answers from Kalamazoo on April 01, 2008
When one of my daughters was little I had trouble getting her to eat a variety of foods. My pediatrician taught me a wonderful lesson. His advice was very simple. He said to me "Your job is to provide nutricious, delicious food for your children. It's their job to eat it. You cannot do their job. You cannot make them do their job. Hunger will eventually drive them to do their job IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IN!" That same lesson applies to most of childrearing- THEY WILL ONLY DO WHAT YOU REQUIRE OF THEM IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IN. It is TERRIBLE to listen to your child cry, however you have set up the situation to end the same way every time- you give him the cup, he cries, you give him the bottle he wants. The only way to get him to switch is if you put up with crying and do not give him the bottle. Better yet- give all of your bottles away, then you aren't torn with whether or not to give it to him. I would bet you alot of money that if you will do this it will only be a couple of days and it will be done. Yes, it will a few difficult days but if you don't do this, this behaviour will spill over into the next growth step he needs to make. If you take the pacifier away (and get rid of them too- that's what I had to do with both of my girls) after one or two nights he won't even ask for it anymore. By the way- you cannot EVER spoil a child with cuddling, a child becomes spoiled by giving in to their demands all the time.
N.W. answers from Detroit on April 01, 2008
Your son is capable at 13 mos of holding his own bottle or cup-- you just need to convince him to do it! I would simply take away his bottles and give him a sippy cup. He may cry for a few days, but he will drink from it. The transition will be shorter and easier by going cold turkey.
My son slept with a pacifier until he was 2 1/2. Try clipping it to his jammies so he can find it at night when it falls out.
L.V. answers from Grand Rapids on April 01, 2008
I run a daycare too. It is just easier on a provider if a child holds their own bottle. However I remember my ped telling me that a child should not hold their own bottle so you are doing fine. I have one of each in my care right now. I just realize while reading your note that I am more attached to the child that I need to feed. Have you tried cuddling your son while using the sipper cup? A sipper has a different sucking motion too which could be what he doesn't like. I used Avent as a baby/toddler mom. That brand had a sipper top that attached to the bottle that didn't have a valve to suck against. Maybe that conversion would be easier for him?
I am on the band wagon that motherhood is trial and error, you can't spoil them by snuggling them, one thing at a time, and it goes too darn fast so savor it while you have it.
I used to be a out the house working mom and it is hard so enjoy every moment you get to have. He will grow up and out of this stage soon enough.