Need Advice for 17 Month Old Early Riser

Updated on March 07, 2008
M.C. asks from Summerville, SC
12 answers

My daughter has always been an early riser since birth, but she continues to gradually scoot up her wake up time. We are now getting up at 4am. I was okay with 5:30, 5:00, but this is ridiculous and I'm exhausted. She seem to wake up to practice stuff (very loudly, I might add)--her new words, somersaults--you name it. I feel like I've already tried everything to remedy this situation--I've read every book, put her to bed earlier, put her to bed later, shortened her naps, let her cry, left toys in her crib, given her bottles, brought her into our bed etc. So far, nothing has worked. I would love to hear some tips from other moms who've had (or even solved) this problem or at least get some reassurance that this won't go on forever!

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for all of the great advice. So far, I've been able to get her back to her 5:00 wake up time (the goal is 6--I'm not pushing it!) by not going into her room right when she wakes up. I'm hoping to trick her into staying asleep until 6 with the time change this weekend and scoot her entire schedule and bedtime 1 hour later as well. If these changes don't do the trick--I got a lot of great ideas from everyone for when she's a little older--there's hope!! Thanks, again.

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C.E.

answers from Atlanta on

A friend recently bought a light at Lakeshore on Cobb Parkway that is set to a timer. The child can come out of their room only if the light is green. It seems to be working (daughter is 2.5 years).

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M.H.

answers from Macon on

I too have an early riser, which is saying something since I myself am also an early riser. So what I ended up doing was to have a bucket of "early morning toys" these were toys that were quieter and toys that she could play with on her own. At night I would set the bucket out as part of our bed time routine, and we would put her other toys into her toy bin and I would put the top on it (at the time she couldn't open the top) and then I would put the baby gate up in front of her door. This way I knew she was safe and could entertain herself until I came to let her out of her room.

It took a couple weeks before my daughter would quietly wake up and play with her toys until I came to get her, instead of standing at her door yelling "Mommy!" but by being firm and through the repetition of me and Hubby telling her "It isn't time for Mommy and Daddy to wake up, so go play quietly with your Morning toys." Sometimes we would point to her toys, but we wouldn't go into her room, and we wouldn't stay more than a minute. That way she wouldn't get the attention she wanted and Hubby and I could go back to sleep.

I hope this helps.

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N.J.

answers from Savannah on

You might not like this, but I have the same experience. My son is now 5 1/2 (6 in June) and used to get up (since infancy) around 3:45 or 4 a.m. He now extends it till about 4:45, at his current age. I have tried bed later, in which he wakes up at the same time anyway, and is just grumpier during the day. I have taught him how to work the television at his age (mine is a little older) so now, at least 80% of weekends he doesn't come in my room till at least 6 a.m. I'm not saying in cannot be solved, but I have just had to begin putting myself to bed earlier, knowing that I will have to wake up earlier. We usually go to bed collectively no later than 9 (9:30 at the latest for the adults) and get up before the sun usually. You would be suprised how much more you can get done first thing in the morning, rather than staying up at night to get it done.

I know this probably didn't help how you feel, but I have lived it since he was about 1 month old, and it has progressed to 1 hr later in 5 1/2 years despite all of my BEST efforts! You can message me for things to try that you may not have yet, they may work for you when they haven't with me, but it never hurts to try everything you can!

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D.C.

answers from Charleston on

This won't go on forever. I know it's hard when the hour they get up is so early. Try to ignore her when she gets up. If she notices it doesn't bother you she should at least quiet down, mine did.

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N.K.

answers from Atlanta on

OK- Try these things....I also have an early riser my 15 mo old son wakes at 5:30am BUT- not EVERY day...here are some things I've tried.
HE is in that in-between stage of how many naps he needs - if he awakes that early- I put him down for an early morning nap- BUT hold him off for an afternnon nap an hour or so later than normal- I also put him down a half hour or hour later than normal - he usually sleeps longer!
Also- if she is only taking one nap per day..try pushing it back a little at a time - it also works for us if we get a lot of outdoor play and stay "out" (outdoors, eat out, over at a friends house, etc..) later - so then meal time, bath time, etc...all is later than normal.
If she is not yelling for you- don't go get her- try to treat it as a middle of the night waking (which it IS!) if she is just talking and playing and not yelling for you- if you dont' have any other kids that will be awaken by this then don't get her - she may fall back asleep. IF she DOES yell for you go in there every 5 minutes pat her back and say it's night night time or wahtever YOU call it- then next night every 10 minutes and so on (Ferber method)
Try it diligently for a week- I have 3 kids and if you are trying to retrain them for ANYTHING- stay TRUE to your method hard core for a week and you'll see changes.
If not- then I'm sad to say this may be her wake- up time. I have many friends who have early risers (5am - 5:30...) BUt if you constantly respond to her at this time of morning- it WILL become her "regular" cycle...try to retrain her...
GOOD LUCK - I know how frustrating it is! If you have any further question please contact me.
Nikki - mother of 3 boys 6,5 and 15 months

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A.B.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi! My oldest son now almost 3 had a period when he was about 18 months when we had sleeping issues. What worked for us was a warm lavender bath before bed and a bedtime snack. if that doesn't work maybe putting on a movie and asking her to quietly watch it or play quietly while mama sleeps. It's just a stage in toddlerhood, and it too will pass.
best of luck!
A.

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey M.! Nothing better than being woken from a sound sleep in the wee hours of the morning by your little one just wanting to say hi :-) Well, my advice for you if you would like to put an end to the early morning activities is to require that your child stay in bed in the morning until you come get her. You are doing a great thing by placing books & toys in bed with her after she goes to sleep to entertain her in the morning. You will need to be very consistent with the training, but you will solve your problem. Here's the drill:

1. When you put her to bed tonight, inform your toddler that she must stay in bed in the morning until you come get her. She does not have the freedom to leave her bed until you come get her.
2. Let her know that she must play quietly in bed in the morning. Explain how you and daddy are still sleeping and that wake up time is at 6 a.m. (or whatever time you all rise).
3. She will get up as usual in the morning and visit early. Your job is to put her back in bed, remind her of the rule and leave quickly - don't stay too long, as that will only encourage her to keep doing it.
4. If she gets out again, which she probably will, repeat the cycle. If you are a spanker, you may offer a spanking as part of the training process.

After a few mornings of this cycle (yes, it will be exhausting, frustrating and seemingly never ending) IF YOU ARE CONSISTENT she will be retrained to stay in bed until you get her. We did this with all of our children (NEVER had an issue with kids getting out of bed early when they were young once we trained them) and enjoyed peaceful mornings all through their early years. Even now (they are 9, 8, 6, 5 & 3) they play quietly in their rooms on Saturdays until we come get them. It is a true blessing and makes for wonderful mornings where we are thrilled to see them, and them us!! I wish you much success in helping your sweet girl learn a new habit.

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E.G.

answers from Atlanta on

how many naps a day is she taking and for how long? my 28 month old was doing the same thing and i took away his nap (only 1 a day) and that seemed to be it. he now sleeps from 730-8p to 6-630a if you dont want to take away a nap, then lessen the nap, if she is sleeping 3 hrs, wake her up after 2, if it is still happening, then wake her up after 1 1/2. fyi, if you do that, she will probably be cranky for a couple of days until she is used to the schedule.
Hope this helps!

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A.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

I was having a bit of the same problem with my daughter (not quite as early a wake up time though). I read and it worked for me that you need to set a "wake up" time for her and stick with it. I am curious, are you going into her room when she wakes up and allowing her to get up? What we did was set Ava's wake up time at 7:00am (she was getting up around 6:00am). Even if she wakes up and plays, cries, coos, whatever, we do not go in her room until 7:00am on the dot. Not a minute earlier. When we go in at 7 we turn on the lights and make a big deal about how well she did the night before blah blah, change diapers, eat, get dressed and the day begins. After about a week of this she was either not waking until 7 or she was very quiet when she woke up because she had learned that mom and dad were not coming in until it was time to get up. Let me know if this helps!

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I feel your pain! I too, have an early riser since birth. I drew the line at 5:30... I'd just go back in and tell him it's too early and to go back to sleep. Of course at that point it was usually too late for me to get back to sleep. At around 3 1/2 I finally told him he needed to stay in bed until I open his door (usually between 6 and 6:30), explaining that I needed to be able to sleep until I woke up. I was suprised that it acutally worked and now (at age 5) we do the same thing. Most times he's awake when I open his door, sometimes not, but I leave it cracked so he knows when he wakes up he can come out. He has over the years started sleeping a LITTLE later, but it usually up by 6. I just don't have the magic answer. Putting him to bed later did no good at all. I know how frustrating it is to start every day like that! I think kids need to understand that they just can't disrupt the sleep of everyone else in the family just because they're awake... I know at 17 mos. she's probably too young to get that. At around 3 1/2 my son seemed to understand that... and I'm not sure if I could have tried it any sooner?? I understand that 4:30 is exteme, but on the plus side, when you get to the school years you'll be glad she's an early bird. My 6 year old daughter has to get up by 6:15 to get to school on time and she is NOT an early riser and THAT has become the daily battle!

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A.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a wild and crazy now 2 1/2 year old. It depends on if you're ready for tough love. Make sure there is nothing in her room that she can get hurt on or with. Go in once and give her a "pep talk". I tell my son it's too early. You can only get up once the sun comes up and I point to the window and say "See it's dark, you can get up when you see the sun." I end with "got it" and wait until he says "okay or yes". He doesn't talk much so I've adapted the response to what he can communicate at the moment. I've been doing this with him off and on as needed since he was about 18 months or so.

A. W

This works. He may cry for about 15 minutes at most. Also, the earlier she goes to bed the earlier she gets up.

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

My kids have never gotten up that early and when they tried to get up earlier than I wanted, I would just keep it quiet, snuggle with them, watch TV quietly with them and eventually they would fall back to sleep within another hour. No talking. Talking always seems to wake kids up the best. I was re-adjusting their wake up time, so to speak. My just turned 2yo for example, is still asleep and it's a little after 9am! lol. None of my children get up early. I homeschool and I actually have to get my kids up at 8am. Most of the time, they are not awake at 8am.

Now having said that, at times my daughter would wake up around 4 or 5am, but I would only tell her to lay back down (she is in the same room with us in a twin bed beside our bed). She would or she would get up and I'd let her get in the bed with me and then I would close my eyes and she'll go back to sleep. If it's quiet, boring and cozy, it's easy to go back to sleep.

If your 17 month old is in a different room, then there probably isn't too much you can do about it because she'll wake up and lay awake for a bit and be really good and awake by the time you know it? My boys were in a different room than us, but I believe they woke up at 7 or 7:30 when they were toddlers.

Or perhaps your baby just doesn't need the sleep right now. Or are the molars coming in? It could be a host of different things.

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