Need Advice About Weaning 16 Mo

My mom had seven children, each two years apart, and nursed all of us very long term (up to 4+ years). Which meant she was often pregnant and nursing one or two! Your body is designed to be able to do this. My children all nursed for very long times during the day. I suggest reading some info by la leche league rather than asking other moms for advice, as everyone has a different opinion not neccesarily based on fact.

Nursing that little probably won't affect your ability to get pregnant, so if you are both happy, continue. I nursed my little one up through six months with my twins pregnancy. If you are unsure what is going on with your cycle there is a great book out there called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that can help you figure out what is going on. Good luck!

My son is now 18 mo but at 16 he was the same. Just recently he's been wanting to nurse more often. He'll just come over and climb in my lap and snuggle in sideways facing me..... getting into position. And he wants to nurse for a long while. Usually I have to take him off after 10-15 minutes cause it starts making me sore. Im thinking it's his teething cause he's about to break into his molars and I find him chewing his hands alot again. A friend said same thing happened with her son and then it dropped off again after he got all his teeth in, and her son got the second set of 8 teeth in 8 weeks right around the 16-18 month range.
I know quite a few women who got pregnant while nursing and I think every woman is different with what her body can do. You're ovulating so it's possible. Is your flow heavy, meaning are you shedding a good healthy uterine lining? I would be more concerned with that because you want to be sure your uterus is the best environment for a new life. Healthy and rich in blood. I just read something in mothering magazine about a mom who nursed into her 4th month of pregnancy and then when the baby was born her 3 year old wanted to nurse again. Yikes! There's a possibility too to be wary of. It will be hard to break that emotional connection, I feel for you. I don't know what happens if a mom continues to nurse into a pregnancy because I know the colostrum should start forming around month 4 for the new baby, but what happens if your body is trying to meet the needs of a toddler. Perhaps talking to a midwife or a Le Leche League counselor or lactation consultant would be a good place for you to get some answers as well.

I second what Molly D. says. You can become pregnant while nursing and you can tandem nurse when the baby is born.

I did it with my three kids. I've been nursing continuously for the past 10 years. (Yes, I did say 10 years!) I didn't stop nursing one when I became pregnant with the next one and the older one weaned when he was ready after the baby was born. Sometimes long after the baby was born.

My kids nursed anywhere from 20-40 minutes at a time so you don't worry about the length of time too much.

So, I say, let your 16 month old decide when to stop and enjoy all those moments together before the next one comes along.

If you are both still enjoying your breastfeeding relationship, theres no need to wean him. You dont need to wean him to get pregnant. Because you are only nursing twice a day, its not breastfeeding which is affecting your fertility (if anything actually is, I suspect that your cycles are just different now after you've had a baby). If you are concerned about your fertility, I would suggest discussing this with your doctor. Or try an ovulation prediction kit to see if you are actually ovulating and when.
Many women nurse while pregnant, and continue to tandum nurse their toddler after the new baby comes. So when you said "Ya can't wait till the new baby comes! That's for sure.", well, actually yes you can, and many women do.

Oh my , all the mums must be tired of me typing this and them reading it but here goes lol
Yes, you can get preggers while nursing...while nursing and not having periods too..twice I got pregnant while nursing..first two were fifteen months apart, and number two and three were one year two weeks apart. So much for cant get pregnant while nursing and not having periods. Apparently one still ovulates !!!
You do not state your age..in this day of "older" mothers...age may be causitive towards hindering conception..I do not know.
We had all our babies by the time we were 30 or certainly under 35. Very rare for a pregnant woman who was late 30's or early 40's back then. And when it did happen they were called "change of life babies".
You all know that baby girls are born with all their eggs. At least that is what I have always been told. Things change radically these days..may not be thought of as truth now. Childhood illnesses, injuries, ect. can damage those eggs and in late 30's or early 40's you may not have so many healty viable eggs left maybe making conception take a bit longer.
Nurse your baby, he loves it, you love it. He will stop when he is close to two..Two is the weaning year...twenty thousand years, two is the weaning age. Many of the modern mums want to stop at six months, nine months, a year, fifteen months...oh my word.
Most babies stop on their own when they are ready to stop. At one and a half it isnt so much the milk, its the bonding, the feeling of complete safety and comfort they derive from nursing. I think it does a great deal towards their sense of security and self esteem too.
Can you imagine a more loved position to be in than to be in your mothers arms nursing?
Boys seem to want/need to nurse longer than girls do. I have five sons and two daughters...all breast fed.
Are you concerned about "public" opinion about your nursing?
Has someone made you feel you should stop at 16 months?
Follow your heart honey. Those are precious twenty minutes twice a day and your little guy is still just a very little guy.
Snuggling does not seem to fulfil their need as nursing does.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

Hi K.-

I have a 15 month old son who nurses 2-3 times a day - mostly at night. I think each nursing session is about 20-30 minutes long, although I've never really paid attention to the time.

I am six weeks pregnant (and got pregnant the first time we tried.) I haven't found any problem with nursing while getting/being pregnant. My advice to you would be to keep nursing (why give up something that you and your toddler are both enjoying?) and have fun conceiving the next little one!

T. Y.
SAHM of three so far(8yrs, 7yrs and 15 months with another on the way)

Hi K.,

I have a 15 month old who is also still nursing and we also both really enjoy our time together. I work part-time and even after all these months every nursing session is treasured and special to me. I've thought of all the things you talk about, and have recently heard lots of reassuring stories from other moms about nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing afterwards. I had two good books recommended to me that you might want to also check out:

Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Bumgarner
Adventures in Tandem Nursing by LLL

My son can easily nurse/suckle for 45 minutes these days if I let him (which I usually do!). He has always been a long nurser and I've always enjoyed our long sessions together, especially our early morning times when he just gazes at me while nursing and waking up for the day.

Good luck and keep enjoying your special nursing times!
L.

I am sort of in the same boat- my daughter just turned 20 months- and I am considering weaning her soon. I just wanted to get her through the rest of flu season first. But, we both enjoy the closeness- particularly in the mornings where she nurses in bed with us- it is just a wonderful way to start our days. So I don't know if I can just wean down to once per day, instead of two, or if it is better to just go cold turkey. I'll probably procrastinate another month or so to decide...

i know now with my dauughter-it was me. i was the one who needed the nursing, i felt guilty about not being with her all day-i needed it, not her. You've done a great job -congrats on nursing for so long but the truth is-he doesnt needed it anymore.
I would keep reading a book together but maybe at the same time instead of nursing him-you could eat his favorite snack. Every once and a while change the snack.
Just be sure NOT to tell him nursung is for babies. If Your tring to get pregnant his is going to be super gelious when the baby comes along-and needed to be nursed. I would be prepared for some regressing. but thats normal- the sooner you ween the better-for him. I know its sounds mean to say it like that but its going to be hard for him to see another baby, stealing "your" time away from him.

K.,
My 16 month old sounds the same as yours--right now he nurses twice a day, usually. Sometimes he doesn't ask for it and I don't offer. I'm also ready to wean and we're hoping for another baby. I'm so torn between wanting to follow his lead and wanting to be done! But my son nurses sometimes for just a couple minutes (too much other stuff to do!) or sometimes for 15 minutes or so. Though, sometimes he starts smacking me in the face and then he's done! I don't have any weaning advice, but I'm glad to know what another 16 month old is doing.

Hi K.,

I nursed four babies. The longest was my son who nursed until 14 months. All my children self weaned so I'm not really able to give much advice. Ultimately my children rejected me i.e. showed they weren't interested in nursing. Usually after their diet was expanded and they were eating at the table and drinking from a cup.

Maybe wait for your son to initiate. Do not offer, in fact, if he tries to nurse, maybe you could offer a substitute?

Best Wishes,

J. L.

To wean your son: Place band aids over your nipples and tell him that you have a boo-boo. And say "Ow" if he tries to take it off. My friend did this with her son and it worked. Good luck.

K.,

I don't know if you have checked with your OB on your cycle length but I would start there. One way to figure out your fertile days is to take your temperature and keep track of it or use an ovulation tester.
I know a lot of people who have gotten pregnant while nursing and have been able to continue to nurse the first well into the pregnancy or even after the second was born. Some kids self wean when your milk changes over to colestrum just before the baby is born. Some kids don't self wean at this point and you can still nurse them afterwards.
La Leche League - www.llli.org is a resource I love. The women have always been so helpful and I've called them a lot. There are generally meetings once or twice a month as well. I go to the Cambridge and Arlington meetings. Cambridge is during the day and Arlington is at night.

Enjoy the nursing time before you know it your son won't want to do it anymore. My daughter who is now 13 and 1/2 months old nurses a lot still. She nurses anywhere from 5 minutes to over 20 when she is needing the cuddling more than anything.

L. M

K. it is a personal decision. No one can tell you the right answer for you. I chose to stop breastfeeding when my son was 19 months. We have been trying to conceive since his first birthday (he's now 21 months). Everyones opinion is different my ob said to stop nursing if I want to have another one. Then on the other hand my NP said it didn't matter, because I was having a monthly cycle. I felt in my heart it was time, it took a while to conceive my son not nursing another child. I decided it would be best to not have another obstacle in a long road. I by no means feel guilty, but wish he had the time to let himself ween (which I could not have forseen happening any time soon or I would have hung in there). It is always hard to come to close on those moments you enjoy & can't get back! good luck!

I can tell you from my current experience that it is possible to continue nursing before and during pregnancy. I am almost 6 months along with my second and still nursing my 18-month-old. The milk has dried up, but he still seems to need the comfort. He typically nurses to sleep a couple times a day (and night), for maybe 5-10 minutes. So if you are both still enjoying it, keep going!

About getting pregnant -- it is true that some women need to stop nursing completely to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy. If you are having cycles (even if they are longer), there is a good chance that you are ovulating. However, you may not ovulate if it is just the first couple of cycles and just bleed. If you are ovulating, it may be that your hormones are not stable enough to support a pregnancy yet. There are easy ways to tell this, including checking mucus and taking your temperature first thing in the morning. There are various methods out there to help you figure out what your body is doing -- I like the Couple to Couple League information (www.ccli.org) about Natural Family Planning (NFP). They have classes and home study materials, as well as other resources (like thermometers and such). NFP is a very useful and effective method in both achieving and avoiding pregnancy.

Otherwise, La Leche League and kellymom.com have been good resources for me in learning about breastfeeding and weaning issues. Hope this helps!

Dear K.,

i got pregnant while nursing our son (he was 16 months then) and continued until he weaned himself at 22 months. Some say the taste of the milk changes and helps them wean. Or maybe he just had his fill. I was happy when he weaned. Now i am nursing my daughter, and he still likes to put his arm down my shirt when he drinks. I am fine with it, if he stays away frm my nipples and is gentle.

Follow your heart. Wait till any one oth the two of you feels it's enough. You can even nurse a toddler and a newborn. But that would have been too exhausting for me...

Good luck and be well,
D.