Need a Pep Talk

Mom, you've been blessed with 4 healthy happy children. Count your blessings not the "what could go wrongs". No one can live like that and it will surely drive you nuts. You seem to have a great husband and wonderful kids. Be positive. You have a great life; what everyone prays for. Thank God for your gifts.

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I'm praying for you. I believe that you'll be fine. Sometimes we can get so worked up waiting for the worst that we drive ourselves there! Relax and enjoy your family. If you begin to get too worked up the kids could sense it and become anxious as well. Again I'm praying for you and your family and I wish you all the best!

And oh yeah, I am with you on Dora!

Hi C.,
Your too funny! I enjoyed reading you "a little about me" - you made my day!
C.

Dora is like the Kaboom infommercial guy. Is she deaf or does she think we are!!! I think you are doing great and it's awesome that you are asking us to keep you going. I'm a s.a.h.m and sometimes I feel like I'm out of touch. I think it's normal and not just a post pardum thing to wait for something bad to happen. I think it's human nature. So you have that coupled with the hormone roller coaster you're on and well you have yourself a plate full sista.
Good luck and keep doing what you're doing:)

I have a friend who's got 8 kids. She said having 2 kids was hardest. She said it got easier the more kids she had! Congrats and good luck!

Sounds like Lili has some great advice from someone's who's been there. And the other moms, too. Another thought is maybe your body and mind are trying to tell you something. Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe it's time to reconsider whether working part-time at least for the time being isn't contributing to your situation. I only had two children 18 mos apart and was stressed a lot of the time. I can't imagine working even part-time during the most difficult periods. Once my youngest was about 2 I tried working again part-time (nights when my wonderful husband was home) and it went okay for a while. But there were ebbs and flows and I probably went through three or four periods where the job was too much and I quit working. That's what's great about those part-time jobs!!

Congratulations on your four children - they are blessings! But remember if you can't be the mom/person you want to be only you can make the changes to put you in the right path. I would definitely consider talking with a medical professional as well.

Good luck!!

C.:
First of all, Kudos to you for having 4 children! Your family sounds awesome and you have to cut yourself some slack. But, hormonal imbalance can play a big part as well. Don't let this "fester" for too long. I felt the same way after my third and thought "I just need something to help me sleep". Well, it was so much more than that and it took me a long time to get through it.

Natural hormone balancing cream works wonders! Go to Dr. John Lee's website at http://www.johnleemd.com/ and find out about the symptoms. I'd be happy to help you out and get you back on your way to feeling normal again.

K.
Wellness Consultant

Hi, C.!

You are indeed a lucky woman and it sounds as if you realize that! Not least is your part-time status in a field you must surely love, and the luxury of not being the chief breadwinner. A family that size is expensive, but you can always find ways to cut corners financially in favor of keeping things running smoothly in the family. Chauffeuring them around certainly counts and will only increase in scope and complexity! Know that many a mom envies your having four instead of the run-of-the-mill two. Finally, as one of eight, I assure you that your kids will grow up with affection not just for their siblings, but for their slightly crowded family. It's more fun than anything!

S. F.
mom to 2 awesome young men!

C., I had ppd after 2 out of my 3 pregnancies. I would say whether its parenting 1 or more there are days that are wonderful and then others not so much. A favorite tool I use to keep up my energy & morale is a nightly gratitude exercise. Each night as I lay in bed before going off to sleep I think of 6 things that day that were good. Use all your senses plus something that touched your heart. 1. something that was pleasing to see 2. something that was pleasing to smell 3. something that sounded good 4. something that tasted good 5. something that felt good and 6 something felt good inside, touched you positively. Getting in touch with these good feelings as you go off to sleep makes for better sleep and is a positive way to end the day. (I used to go over the day focusing on my regrets or what I didnt accomplish.) My other favorite tip is to apologize when I lose my patience with my loved ones. It allows me to forgive myself & move on and is a great way to model a good life skill for my children.
ps Your funny comment about Dora as a hypnosis tool made my day~I happen to be a hypnotist AND January 4th is World Hypnotism Day!

You have also been blessed with a wonderful sense of humor that will keep you going, even when you do feel like you could lose your noggin! It's wonderful that your husband helps out so much, however, from one mom to another...it's amazing how much we do in a day! Your kids need you so much. Don't wait for that other shoe to drop - every pregnancy is different - the concerns that you had in other pregnancies may never take place so ease your mind. And, if it does, don't be afraid to let someone know. Keep communicating with others. Ask for help so that you are not overwhelmed. I pray for a strong mind and Peace of mind for you! Congratulations!

C., It is definitely you! Well, you know a lot about post-partum depression and neuropsychology. The way I look at it is those who dwell too much on the negative have a chemical imbalance that causes them to go to that part of the brain too often and too long, and inappropriately. So you may not have p-p this time. You must be very capable and should stop living in the future, i.e. worrying about it occurring again and just take each un-depressed day at a time with gratitude. Count your blessings, get outside and get fresh air, enjoyu the beauty of nature, don't read depressing newspaper articles or books, etc. Feed your mind with beauty, happy music, humor. You get my point. Live in the present and see the sunny side of life. With your past experience you will be able to alert yourself if depression hits and deal with it then, being grateful for when you did not have it and for modern medicines aids in coping with it.

C.,

You go woman!!!! I have 4 as well. 3 boys and one girl. You have your hands full, (but it's secretly fun isn't it?!)
I had PPD after all 4 of mine. I finally figured out with the last one that exercise was my savior. Mind you, I'm not a fit freak at all. But yoga in the mornings worked wonders for me. Made me feel better faster, kept my energy up during the day and got those endorphins going. And as you know, in your field, if it gets to the point where you feel that sinking feeling, go get the help you need and deserve. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help, it's a sign of intelligence. If you ever need an ear, I'm always around as are all the other moms on here.

Be well
M.

C.- you are a rock star! Congratulations on your new baby boy. Your post shows that you are in touch with your health & well being which only makes you a better mom.

I am the 3rd of 5 kids and it's great being part of a big family. Plus think of all the help you will have around the house down the road!

Happy New Year!

Hi Cindy
It's your Sooze, just wanted to see if I could help with the Pep Talk at all. I still vividly remember the first few months with Evelyn and how hard it was. I felt like I was barely hanging on, and that was just my first baby, so I can't even imagine how hard it must be with your fourth. You told me that it would get better and you were right, so i am returning your advice. Just keep hanging in there and don't be afraid to depend on your friends when you need to. You are definitely not alone! Evy and I would love to come out for a visit sometime soon if you are up for it. Maybe some company would help - I could also bring good junk food! Give me a call if you need anything and let me know what days/times might work for you.

Sound like you just gave yourself a pretty good "pep talk": your fourth perfect baby and an amazing husband :) Keep reminding yourself of the blessings you have!
I have one 2 year old and feel like the busiest person in the world, so I have no idea how brave souls like you do it :) I wish I felt confident enough to have four--they are the best! Since I know it is so crazy, this might not be possible for you (especially with your job on top of all that!) but you might consider getting involved in something like the March of Dimes...do a charity walk once a year and read the stories online and listen to the other walkers...it has really helped remind me of how blessed I am whenever I am feeling overhwelmed etc. You get your own website where people can donate so you can put good energy into it without leaving home and then you walk one day--your kids can even walk with you: my sister put her baby in a stroller and off she went! :)
Congratulations on your fourth!!! :)

Just keep telling yourself that your mood will pass. While I only have one baby (and one on the way), I definitely think (in my naive, one kid way) that the hardest thing about having a baby was the post partum horomones. I was an emotional mess and hardly recognized myself. I was so relieved when it passed but it did. You are a ROCK STAR to have four kids and it sounds like you do it well!! Be patient with yourself, do your best to take care of YOU and know you are an inspiration to first time moms like myself! Hang in there!

Hi C. - and might I just add that your "a little about me" made me laugh out loud. I've been there with the Noggin/Dora/Teletubbies psychosis!

First of all, you know so many of us have been where you are. Keep in mind that your postpartum craze is TEMPORARY and your brain is just trying to convince you that it will last forever. Perhaps you need a mantra to say until the hormones are lassoed back into the corral.

Second of all, as a mom who conceived "the weekend project" baby so easily and has been waiting for 6 long years to get a second shot, know that you are blessed beyond words with your fertility. This is totally not a guilt trip, just complete truth! God must really know that you can handle a lot! Look at your angels and know that you are truly lucky. I can only imagine what your life will be like in 25 years with all of those grandbabies running around at your feet!

Until you start to feel like you're stepping away from the edge of your mental cliff, crank up some happy tunes, get some endorphines going with a good dance, and kiss that baby to pieces! What's the saying??...fake it 'til you make it!

Best of luck to you and congratulations,
A.

Congrats on the new baby boy!!! I also have 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl and I had PPD after my first child and then never had it again. I agree 4 kids is not that hard...once you are out numbered with 3 you learn to cope and plan!!! LOL Having a supportive husband is awesome and sounds like everything is going great. You're gonna be fine.

It sounds like you are doing great! Keep up the positive vibe and don't forget to laugh! So many situations with kids are laugh or cry, especially when tired. Try to pick laugh! It sounds like there are so many positive things going on in your life! Focus on those when you are ready to tear your hair out. If the post-partum does creep back in, see your doctor right away! There is serious strength in admitting you need a hand! Enjoy your beautiful perfect baby and your three little helpers! Congratulations!

Congratulations on #4! How precious to have a sweet new baby in the house. There is nothing, absolutely nothing like a newborn baby, enjoy these precious weeks as you know they go by in the blink of an eye. There is no other shoe to drop! Enjoy your family and be thankful for a husband who shares the load, not eveyone is so lucky. Get some rest and cuddle and kiss your new baby boy. Lots of luck to you.

Hang in there, C.! Your closing line was so funny -- you are clearly keeping your sense of humor and we all need to do that! We have today, and if today everyone is healthy and warm and fed, it's a good day! (I don't care if some laundry is undone, or a shirt is dirty or a plate. Keeps it in perspective). I am not a religious person, but I am trying to live in a state of gratefulness for what IS good and positive to fight the unemployed -noggin-induced-insanity thing. SO I really do understand and recommend that constant reminder to yourself for all the blessings. One thing is to keep in touch with friends, support from family or whomever, so you can feel like you can put something on PAUSE once in a while. Best of luck. I am in awe of anyone who can do 3 wks, 20 mos, 4 yrs and 7 rs at once. Best of luck!! S.

Hi C.-

Congratulations on your new addition! I had PPD with my one and only pregnancy so I understand what that feels like. I went to see a counselor that specialized in PPD and that helped me a lot. I'm really sensitive to hormonal changes and of course after delivery your body goes through so many hormonal changes it really can impact your frame of mind and coping abilities. The gratitude journal is a great way to redirect your focus to the positive aspects of life and also I have a great daily gratitude book called "Simple Abundance". That book has helped me see the everyday gifts of life and celebrates the the little things that often are overlooked in our complex lives. Just try to remember to take care of yourself too and cut yourself PLENTY of slack.

Hi C.! Congratulations on your newest addition!! I really admire Mamas who manage big families.

Even though you may be getting good support from your hubby, it doesn't mean that you still won't feel down during your Baby Blues (or PPD, if it turns into that.) There is no need to feel guilty about feeling blue, worried or apprehensive during this time when your hormones are going berserk. Be gentle with yourself and DO NOT beat yourself up for those moments when you simply cannot focus on "how lucky/blessed you are." Those are unrealistic expectations set by people who don't understand or have ever experienced PPD!

You are going to make it through -- this too shall pass! Sooner than you know, you'll be establishing the new household routines to re-adjust to everyone's needs. (You'll probably reminisce about how easy it was when you "only" had 3 kids -- ha-ha!!)

Hang in there...and please reach-out if things get worse for you. You are not alone, even though you might feel like it.