Naps - How Hard Do You Try?

Just like the rest of child raising, consistency and schedules are important. If you do things matter of fact, it helps somewhat. Some kids don't need naps all the time, my daughter gave them up by the time she was 2, my older son was 3 and my youngest son was falling asleep in first grade after lunch. I did have quiet time though. I would put on music and give them books to read. I told them they didn't have to go to sleep but they did have to stay in the bed and read. On days they were extra tired, they went to sleep other days they just rested.

yes, both need naps. Maybe you could play outside with the kids before nap time and make it later. Then if the 3 year old doesn't nap tell him he must be quiet. At this point, I would have them nap in different rooms. I had a child that never napped and so I put him in a different room so the rest could nap. He had to read books and play with quiet toys... no cars or anything that could be thrown and make noise.

I have found that the exercise before naps... makes nap time easier. If the older one doesn't go to bed at a decent time with a nap..wake him up early from his nap say... after 45 minutes. That little bit of sleep will put him in a better mood.

Maybe you could put a fan either in the room or outside the door so the little one won't hear the older one and he'll have some white noise to fall asleep to.

My oldest stopped taking a nap a little after her 2nd birthday. Now if I try and she does take one she doesn't go to bed until later. I would try and make both lay down for at least an hour and if they don't fall asleep put them to bed earlier. Good luck! I hope this helped.

Congrats on your new baby! I only have one, so my advice is more of an idea. If I were you, I might try to have the older one sleep in his room (or quiet play time like my mom used to make me have) and you and the younger one take a nap on your bed. I don't know if your 22 month old still sleeps in a crib, but if you were in the bed as well I'd think he would be okay. Just a thought. Good luck to you!

When my children were 4 and 2 we started "Room Time" with them. They could read, play quietly, put puzzles together but they had to be in their rooms for 1 hour. We continued our usually reading time that we were doing when they were taking naps. Often my 2 year old would decide to take a nap in her room. It took a while to train them to stay in their rooms and sometimes they come out to go to the restroom or get something they forgot or to ask a question but mostly we all have room times. Now I even get to take a nap. When I decide to take a nap I let them know so they will be extra cautious about coming out of their rooms and interupting my nap. They are now 7 and 5 and we still read before we have room time only now it is chapter books!

Ideas:

1. Have you thought about preschool or Mother's Morning Out for Charlie? You could take a nap with Joey while he is gone.

2. Take a nap with Joey and have a Mother's Helper come and play with Charlie. I think the kids get home between 3-4. You could get a break or a nap.

3. Have a special box that you bring out for Charlie at nap time. Playdoh, bubbles, paint, special cars, goop. Have him only play with these at this time. He will be busy by himself for a while. There are homemade recipe's for playdoh and goop online. We made the koolaide playdoh and some goop (we did pink because I have a girl).

4. Join the YMCA. Bring them up there everyday during open swim time. This will tire them out! Also, you can put them in child care there while you swim or take a low impact class. Or...because you are so far along, you may want to sign them up for activities like art, music or cooking at the YMCA and sit outside and read (for a break). :-)

I would try to get them both in a routine of having quiet time at the same time every day. The little one goes down for a nap, and the older child has to lay in your bed and watch his show (a movie or tv show or whatever). You should take that opportunity to lay with him and even catch a few z's. Let him know that he does not have to sleep, but he does have to be quiet, so his brother can sleep. If he knows that's the routine every day, he'll get used to it. You're right, you do need your rest too, especially because you're pregnant. I think it's definitely worth keeping naps in the picture, your 22-month old especially needs one!! Good luck!!

Hi J.,

Right now, I have several children here ranging from almost 5 to 14 mos. The 14 month old takes 2 naps, a short one in the morning, and at least a two hour nap in the afternoon with all of the rest of the children. Sleeping is a habit, and a good one. I usually take about a 15 minute break in the morning, like right now, where the children play with their toys or watch a short show, and then I have a two-hour break in the afternoon where everyone is asleep. Believe me I would never have had a 30 year career of daycare without these much needed breaks. All Moms deserve these breaks, too....it is a part of being able to be a great Mom. In the summer I have children ranging from 8 to newborn, and they still all take a much needed nap. Adults love naps, so why shouldn't children. I have children who ask if it is naptime yet? We try to make it a good time here...they all have their own sheet to lay on, each in their own little bag in the closet. They love their sheets, and that they go get them after lunch, and pick them up after nap, and put them back in the closet...it makes them feel soooooo big. My 14 month old takes a nap in the livingroom floor in the morning while all the other children are playing there also. I realize that sometimes children are better for others, but I raised my own this way, too.

You need to decide what you want in your life, be consistent, and follow through. You are the parent and they are the children. Make the rules, be consistent, and follow through. Don't give in or they will give you a hard time, every time. Always try to stay on schedule, as much as possible, and you will soon find that they are tired when it comes time for nap. It will take a few days to get your schedule down, and they definitely will try you for the first few days, but hang in there and it will happen. You will be so happy that you did this after the few days of getting it initiated, but it will be worth every stressful moment once they are in the habit of doing this. You will also find that you have much happier children when they get their naps everyday. You will also find that once you get into a routine they will sleep better at night, too.

Anyway, I wish you the best and congratulations on the new baby.

C.

Hi J.
When this started happening in our house we used quiet time where my son had to stay in his room and play quietly. I then was able to get the baby to nap otherwise if they share a room you can maybe have your son lay dawn on the couch and watch a show this was the only time my children watched tv at that age so 95% of the time he fell asleep also. Good Luck T.

I still lay my 4 and 5 year olds down for a quiet time. Sometimes they sleep, often they don't, but it's a nice break for mom. (I also have a 2 year old and 5 month old who nap at that time.) I think if you can keep them in the habit that would be best for you and good for them too, but if it just doesn't work and letting them not nap does work for all of you, then I wouldn't stress over it. Have you tried letting the older one listen to music or watch a movie? At home my girls have to lay quietly in their room for one CD, then they know they can get up. I also work at a church and take my kids with me where the girls watch a movie after their brother is asleep. We don't talk about it while he is awake so he sleeps fine not knowing he is missing anything.

My two year old has gone through this phase before, actually around 22 months (I was pregnant as well) and recently now @ 27 months but I would keep trying every day. It should be ok if he misses a nap once in a while, the battles just aren't worth it, but I've read that most kids should continue to nap until they are at least three years old. On the days that he doesn't nap, he should have some quiet time. I think that they just go through phases where they want to test limits. Good Luck! I understand how it's worrisome while your pregnant but it should be a phase!

Hi J.,
I would try to do a quiet time for your 3 year old at the same time your 22mos old is suppposed to be napping. Quiet time could be laying down and looking at books, quietly coloring, a movie etc... It is good for everyone to get some down time~!
GOOD LUCK
~M. (I have 2 kids 9 & 11yrs old)

www.journeysoflifephotography.com

My sister-in-law has five kids. She definetely needs a break from them each day. (She is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools!) Anyway, every day she has a quiet time from 1-3 where all the kids are in their rooms (even the 7 year old). The two boys (5 and 3) that share a room don't always take a nap and she allows it. They know that they are not to get out of the room, so she says that sometimes all she hears is things falling and toys being played with...but in the long run, they will eventually take a nap, more than likely the next day.

I don't know if that helps you or not, but I'd suggest starting a routine similar to what my sister-in-law does where the boys share the room, and if they nap, they nap, if not you know they'll go to bed earlier. That way when the new baby comes you'll be "guarenteed" some quiet time for a portion of the day where you can get much needed rest with your new one!

Good luck!

I'd say it's more a matter of finessing the situation than trying harder. This is how it has gone for us, successfully: My girls have always shared a room. When my oldest was starting to outgrow naps but her little sister still needed them, I'd have a quick, private discussion with her that went something like this (and she always fell for it): "I need your little sister to take a nap and she won't take one if you don't, so can you please take a PRETEND NAP and I'll come get wake you up once she falls asleep and then we can read books downstairs until she wakes up"....That way, if I had a lot of work to get done during naptime, I could wake up big sister after half an hour and because at that age their concept of time isn't all that sharp, she'd believe me when I told her it had been only ten minutes. Also, my oldest would always fall asleep while taking a "pretend nap". She liked being 'in on the secret' with mommy--it made her feel special.

Hey J.,
I was in the same exact position a few months ago, except my #3 was about 6 mos. old! Nick (11/22/04) and Sophia (12/19/05) are just under 13 mos. apart and Nick started resisting naps, Sophia still needed/wanted them. I still NEEDED and WANTED them to take naps... Gianna, my youngest, obviously needed 2 naps (at least) a day, so it was a little bit trying at times! I finally accepted the fact that I was losing my 1-3 hours in the afternoon to clean, do dishes, laundry, etc... when all the kids would nap. Oh well, the positive thing is exactly what you said, they all go to bed perfect. Bedtime used to be quite a fiasco, now they usually suggest teeth brushing and pajamas before 8pm. They get ready and climb in bed and fall asleep! We used to go thru hours of back and forth, "sneaking" out of rooms, wanting to play, crying, you get the point... So every night around 8pm when the house is quiet I smile to myself and realize that my husband and I have a few hours together! I usually have a few things to do, then I can relax...
Also, Sophia (middle) often falls asleep on afternoon errands in the car, I then try to get anything involving a drive thru done to let her get a "cat nap" in. It is usually enough to refresh her until bedtime. Good luck and congratulations on #3!
J. :)

J.-
I think you should let the older one do something quitely in another room while you get your little one down. Maybe he can watch tv in your room or the living room while you get his little brother down. Big brother may be old enough to skip the nap, but I think many behavioral issues could come up if the little one is done with the nap right now. If you let big brother do something special and explain to him that IF he cooperates then he doesn't need to nap. I really think it could work. That way, once your daughter comes (congrats, by the way!) you will have time alone with your oldest while the younger ones nap. Good luck!!! J.

It sounds like they are in the same room? I have a 3yr old who refuses to sleep as well, but my youngest needs his daily nap. I put my youngest in my room, and require that the 3 yr old rest in his room. I give him books, tell him that he has to be quiet, and hope for the best. Some days he sleeps, most days he doesn't, but he knows it's quiet time. Try splitting them up, if they aren't already. I was pulling my hair out trying to figure out what to do! Good luck!