Nap Time - West Hempstead,NY

Hi. It is important for day time that his room be as dark as possible. It should look like night time.
About the crying, I have learned that you should not just let the baby cry non stop, specially if he is breastfeed. You should go in every 5 minutes if the baby is really crying, don't pick him up, just try to calm him down with confforting words. Do the same thing every time. If the crying is not very strong you can wait every 10 minutes. If he is just fussy, you don't need to go in.

Most experts say that 6 months is too early to sleep train. Try the No-cry sleep solution and the baby sleep book for tips on how to gently get a young baby to sleep better.

You seem to be talking about Dr. Ferber's method, but you are not following the system. See the article here that discusses the myths and facts about Ferberizing. No reputable child professional says to let babies cry themselves to sleep. http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

My wife is an early childhood expert and behavior specialist. She endorses this method and has used it with older children with sleep training problems. This is also the method endorsed by Supernanny and Dr. Phil. It works. It is not harmful and is designed to be adapted according to your comfort level. It M. take longer if you are squeamish. It M. take less time if your child is particularly compliant.

I wouldn't take advice from people with anecdotal knowledge and heresay for sleep training. Pick a technique that has been developed by an expert. There are other methods. Any good childcare book, e.g. Dr. Sears, etc. has a section on naps.

There is a big difference between teaching a baby to soothe himself to sleep, and letting him cry for an hour or more! It's possible that he's just not ready for this yet. Most are by 6 months, but every baby is different! It's also possible that there is another issue involved here- such as reflux or gas, that makes laying flat on his back uncomfortable.

I am a HUGE believer in carefully letting kids fuss it out, but this sounds extreme to me! I think she should get him checked out with his doctor, and then try different soothing techniques. Maybe wearing him a sling until he's very sleepy, or rubbing his back, etc. Possibly positioning him on his side, rather than his back, or something like that.

I don't know. I just think that it's rough, leaving a 6 month old to cry for so long! Also, some babies sleep ok at night but need extra soothing for naps. Maybe she'll have to soothe him to a deep sleep during the day for now, but not at night?

Tell her good luck for us! It will get better, once he's crawling! He'll be much more tired for his naps.

yes, i let my kids dry it out. they are now 14yrs and 9yrs old.

"Sleep training" is the name given to a method that teaches baby sleepy time is not a safe and pleasant time and that baby can no longer count on Mommy to soothe him. Please tell your friend to reconsider using this method. It can be damaging to babies. Research has shown remarkable increases of cortisol (the stress hormone) in baby's brains that were allowed to CIO. What's wrong with rocking a baby to sleep? They won't need it forever. My children are living proof of that. I have rocked ALL of them to sleep, and my two oldest sleep thru the night now and no longer need the rocking, and we didn't have to endure terrifying screams from them everytime it was time to go to sleep.

I think if as a mother, something does not feel right, then it usually is not the best course of action. The crib needs to be a safe and loving place for your child, not a scary place where they are left alone to cry. Yes, sometimes, the baby will cry when he or she is put into the crib, especially if he or she has been cuddling or nursing immediately prior. But it should not last 1 hour or more.
I think your friend should establish a firm routine. We still use a fan for white noise and an Ocean Wonders Aquarium in the crib to signal bedtime. Your friend shoudl not force sleep on her child. It works for some kids but not all kids. I think she should put him in there over the course of the day and make it pleasant. She should make him feel happy and relaxed when she knows, definetely that he is tired. I think its best to leave the room when you put the baby down. But if he is freaking out, go in and "restart" him. Do this as many times as necesary. They say don't pick up the baby, but I do and still do on the rare occasions that he needs a little extra love.

I had a similar situation with my daughter. She would fall asleep if I was bouncing her, but the minute I put her down she would start crying. The problem was that I was afraid to let her cry. She would wake up in the middle of the night for her feedings and then I would bounce her to sleep or let her fall asleep on my chest and then try to transfer her to her co-sleeper. Once in a blue moon it would work, but most of the time, she would cry. It got to a point where I was bouncing her or holding her for a good half hour to an hour before I could put her down and oh so gently lay her down to go to sleep, with only about a 10% chance of success. I finally reached my breaking point, when I was completely exhausted and it was starting to create tension in my marriage. One evening, when my husband took a turn to try to get her to sleep and the usual routine occurred, lots of bouncing and holding, but no success, we both decided that it was time to let her cry it out.

I have to say, it was easier than we thought. The first evening she cried about 8 minutes. The second evening she cried about 15 minutes. And from there on out it became easier and easier. We were absolutely amazed. We decided to let her cry it out in the evening and then work on the naps, once we had the evenings down. Our school of thought was that if we could get her to sleep solidly at night, we would all be better rested and better equipped to tackle getting a nap time routine down. I think no matter what approach your friend decides to take, the important thing is that she and her significant other are on the same page. It is very easy to want to give in to the crying. So, it is important that you are there for each other, for moral support and to be strong when the other one is caving. I think what gave me the strength to even try it was something that I read in the book "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child"...that teaching your child to sleep is one of the best gifts you can bestow upon your child. It can be really challenging at first, but going through a little pain in the beginning is worth it because it can prevent long term sleep issues in the future. My daughter is almost 8 months old and she sleeps 10 hours at night and takes 2 or 3 naps during the day, usually at least an hour long each and believe me, I never dreamed that she would be able to be such a good sleeper. Letting our daughter cry it out saved my sanity and definitely lifted a lot of tension from our marriage. It's worth so worth the time and effort.

Hi there!

Sleep seems to be the hot topic among mothers and I can totally see why, it's hard! You would think that babies would just sleep when they are tired. I read somewhere that before 6 months of age, babies DO sleep when they are tired but around 6 months old, they start to be able to keep themselves up (like grown ups can).

I have the same issue with my daughter & we did the sleep training at night (which now works well, not to jinx myself!) but naps are a different story. Up until about a weeks ago, she would only take one nap a day & that was in the morning, in the Ergo baby carrier. So for an hour plus, I was walking around the house with a sleeping baby. It was freezing cold so I couldn't even go outside. One day I just had it & kept her up until she was really tired, then nursed her & put her in her crib. She cried for about 20 mins then fell asleep. Now she is quiet in her crib (not sure if she's sleeping) but it's a resting period none the less.

I read countless books and tried different methods but I think the truth is that nap time is so varied from child to child and it's all a matter of trial and error. I felt like my girl was tired of sleeping in her crib after she'd been there for 12 hours at night. Maybe your friend could try setting up another sleep nook for nap time, like a port-a-crib in the living room? Just a thought.

I wish I had a magic cure (the I would be a very, very rich woman!!)but every day and every baby is different. All I can say is your friend isn't alone and it is so hard sometimes. I read different books and took what I wanted from each one. You never going to know what works until you try it.

I wish your friend and all mothers with napless babies much luck and a world of sympathy.

C.

your sister in law should butt out. Trust your instincts. Children do not die from crying at bedtime. Take care of yourself and your sanity. You and your friends seemed to be on the right track...don't keep wavering in your plan...good luck!

My guy is almost 9 months, but we've been working with him on sleep stuff for months. (He knows that there is a party going on 24/7, and doesn't want to miss any of it!)

Our policy is this: nighttime, cry as long as it takes unless the cry changes to "emergency" level (as opposed to protest level). naptime (1-1.5 hours after waking, .5 hours after lunch): do the whole routine for putting him down (we recite Goodnight Moon) but go in every 10 minutes, pat his back but don't pick him up. After 1 hour, we give up but try again if he gives tired signs.

Our little guy still has trouble napping for over 45 minutes, but he's happy the rest of the time and does well enough at night, so we just accept it.

The hardest part was that 6 month time when we ALL needed sleep, but he couldn't get his paci in his mouth yet. (He refuses to suck his fingers.) It got a lot better once he got the paci's, but he'd still rather us come put the paci in whenever it falls out. We resist.

Letting children cry themselves to sleep is the hardest thing and it will break your heart--that said, it will absoluetly work! I have two sons who are now 3 1/2 and
1 1/2. I let both of them cry to sleep and they both slept through the night by the time they were 9-10 weeks old. Naps are harder, I was always more lenient with crying during nap time. Best of luck to both of you!

Letting the baby cry it out is a 5 minute thing not over and hour. If he fell asleep after over an hour of crying it was from exhaustion. She needs to follow her own instincts as a mom instead of following the guidelines in a book.

Tell her to set up a routine to relax the baby before putting him down. And if he is crying go in and check on him after 5 minutes.

I would recommend working on night time first, then naps. I let my son CIO for naps on several occasions and every time he would scream for over an hour then nap for only 15 minutes; so he would wake up just as tired and even more cranky. Ultimately the CIO method just didn't work for our stubborn son (and believe me, we didn't "break the rules" and give in). I still have to sit on the floor in his room until he falls asleep for night time and naps. It's getting better - I'm right by the door now, I just don't know how to make that final leap to just leave him to fall asleep alone. I would suggest that your friend try sitting next to the crib at nap time. It might take awhile for him to fall asleep but it's better than having him sleep in her arms and never getting a break. Good luck to both of you!

is she putting him down at the same time everyday? is she using the same routine when she puts him down? This all helps the baby to not be to confused.

my baby has never been a great napper, but he does get two 1 hour naps in a day and that makes me happy :)
my ped. suggested putting him down for naps consitently at the same time each day, and more importantly, put them down for bed each night at the same time. Then they get used to that rythm. also make sure that the times you choose to put him down, he is actually sleepy, but not overtired. at 6 months, 2.5 to no more than 3 hours was the "magic" time. i let him cry it out/fuss a little, but then found that if i vaccumed the livingroom, the noise put him to sleep. i did that for a few months and now, do not have to do it EVERY time i put him down. so, it does get better :)i also have a couple of different things in his room that make white noise, which babies (and some adults) like to help lul them to sleep. suggest she try other things to help calm him to sleep, without having to actually go in the room and pick him up and also without having him cry for over an hour.

Hi - I am not trying to give an advice. Just want to share my experience. I also have a son who is 6 month old. He didn't sleep through the night ever since he was born. He used to wake up every 2 - 2 1/2 hours every night. No matter how much I tried to sleep train him, he just wouldn't go to sleep. I was so sleep deprived. However, one day last week he started sleeping through the night! On the same day I realize a tooth was penetrating through his gum.

I suggest your friend's son is not suffering from teething. During the time of teething, you don't want to make babies more miserable by letting them cry out. My son also had mild eczema. I feel that he was bothered by that too.

My son is also taking fewer naps, too. As long as yoru friend's son is sleeping at night I think that she should be playing with him little more with her son.

My son's pediatrician told me that they take fewer naps as they grow but streches their nap time.

Has she weaned the baby? It sounds like he he nursing. My son did not take any bottles until he was five month old. My suggestion is that when the baby awakes you feed him first then, play with them for awhile. After play time, you can try to put him to sleep.

At 6 months old it is difficult to put him down awake for a nap unless he is definitely tired. Sometimes it helps to have nap in a different spot than bed, especially if he resists nap. Maybe a playpen in a different room. Unless he needs to have a nap at a certain time I suggest not putting him down until he's cranky or rubbing his eyes and or even rocking him until he's starting to doze and then putting him in the crib. When he'S. little older he'll nap in the crib just fine.

Good luck to your friend.

Don't worry about keeping a tight schedule based on how long the baby needs to cry. The most important thing is that both the baby and mommy get to sleep. Once the baby cries for about five minutes, mommy can go in and hold him until he falls asleep. What's important is that the baby has had the experience of trying it out on his own, but mommy is there in case he needs her. I bet after a couple of weeks, he'll fall asleep on his own without having to cry over an hour. That can be really scary for such a little baby, and that's probably why he didn't sleep much longer on the second go. Just let him cry for about five or so minutes, then once held, he'll learn that it's all ok. No worries :)

Hey!

There are, of course, no "right" answers. It's whatever works for you.

For me, my oldest was NOT a good sleeper. She did fine sleeping through the night, but getting her down was a nightmare. Therefore, I did not make her cry it out during the day. I figured listening to her do it at night was enough. She almost never napped. And only did so if we were holding her. She just never seemed to need it and the pediatrician said that was fine. She's four now and we both survived. Though now we can't get her to stay in her bed at night. My two year old was the opposite. Took naps during the day. Went down at night without a fuss. And now, stays in her bed all night. Every kid is different.

Good luck!

When I sleep trained my kids, I did it slowly, with as little tears as possible. Not that I'm not for CIO but 1 1/2 hrs is excessive. I would start the first night rocking him to sleep. And then the next night put him in when he's just about asleep, but not totally. If he wakes soothe him with rubbing or your voice, try not to pick him up. After a few minutes leave the room. If he continues to cry (about 15 mins), I usually go in pick my daughter up and rock her until she calms and then put her back in the crib. Then continue to put him in the bed a little more awake every night. Also, it helped with my kids to play soft music when they went to bed for naps and night time. This way they knew what was happening and it helped set the mood for sleep. To this day if my son (who's 4 1/2) can't sleep, all I have to do is play his music and within 15 mins he's out. Sleep training isn't just about the sleep, it's the routine that leads up to that and setting the mood for sleep. You have to be consistant. Do the same thing every single night. For my kids it's, kisses and hugs to daddy, pj's, book, and lights out with music, my daughter gets her milk once the lights are out and the music is on. And usually their asleep within 30 mins. It also helps to repeat that routine at nap time. Again, it's about the consistancy. If you do the same thing every night, then they know what to do and what to expect. The same will work for your daughter. Try the music. If my daughter wakes during the night all I have to do is turn her cd back on and she's right back to sleep.

I heard it's tough to conquer both nap and nighttime sleep training at the same time. we just worked on nights and then about two months later trained for naps. good luck to your friend!

If she is using the Ferber method, Ferber says to give up after 1/2 hour and try later if the baby hasn't fallen asleep for naps. If you and your friend are serious about doing the cry it out method, read Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" before you start. If you follow his approach to the letter, it works for most babies after 3-4 nights. There are many other CIO books, but Ferber is an expert on pediatric sleep disorders, whereas many authors of baby sleep books have dubious credentials. Six months is on the early side to start sleep training, you really shouldn't do it before that because babies younger than that might need to feed during the night. And absolutely NO ONE has the right to tell anyone else how to raise their kids.