Nap? and Bedtime for 3 1/2 Yo

Ditto what Love had to say. And if you aren't a morning person, then maybe you are a night person? And I can see why you love nap time so much, it's the only time of day you have to yourself. However, If you get your daughter to bed at a reasonable time, then you'll have a couple hours at night for relaxing, watching TV, spending time with your husband. You really need to back everything up. Get up a bit earlier, which is a good routine for school anyway, have an earlier nap and keep it to an hour (if at all) and then she's off to bed again by 7 or 8. You can have 2-3 hours to yourself/husband and still get 7-8 hours of sleep.

I feel your pain. I'm not a morning person either, but getting up earlier so my children can have healthier sleep habits is much better than what can happen down the road if those sleeps habits aren't in place.

Good luck!

She is taking her nap WAY to late in the day - a good rule of thumb for toddlers is to never put them down for a nap/bedtime less than 4 hours after they have just woken from nap. If she is taking a nap at 4pm and sleeping even for just an hour or so, trying to put her down at 7 or 8 pm is useless as she has JUST taken a nap and is absolutely not tired for bedtime! Children, especially toddlers, need lots of activity and stimulation to make their bodies ready for sleep - if shes getting up from a nap at 5 or 6, and then just hanging around the house as everyone gets home from work and has dinner, by 7 or 8, she is probably just as refreshed as she was the moment she woke from her nap and I don't blame her for being upset and crying for hours! As she must just lie awake, full of energy, until she falls asleep from crying or boredom.

You need to put her down for a nap earlier in the day so that there is at LEAST 4 hours of wakeful time between when she gets up from her nap and bedtime. Put her down at 1-2pm instead of 4pm so that she is actually tired when bedtime comes around. You can even get rid of the nap altogether, and put her down at 7pm for bed (which is an entirely appropriate bedtime for a 3 1/2 year old). At this age, toddlers need 14-16 hours a sleep a day including naps - if you are going to allow her to continue to nap so late in the day, you have to adjust her bedtime accordingly, but it is NEVER appropriate for a toddler to be awake until 10:30pm (unless its a special occasion or something).

My almost 3 year old, who is a champion sleeper at night and at naptime, has a schedule as follows:
-Up at 6:30 (IM not a morning person either, but you get up when your kids get up, its just part of being a parent)
- Preschool at 9am-12pm (only on tuesdays and thursdays)
- Lunch after preschool, down for a nap by 1pm.
- Awake from nap at 3
-Snack
-Dinner at 6
- Bathtime, bedtime routine, into bed at 7:30/8pm.

On the days she doesn't attend preschool, she goes down for her nap at 10:30am, and sleeps until about 12:30pm.

My little guy is 14 months now but at 6 months I didn't know they could sooth themself to sleep and should sleep thru the night. Needless to say I was exhausted by the time he was 6 months. I came across and it was the first book/method I tried and I was amazed. I've been going by it ever since and it has worked for us. These 2 psychotherapists wrote this book and are big in Hollywood and have been on several talk shows. Even my daycare provider, mom, mother-in-law, everyone is amazed how easy my guy is at sleeping and napping. I know I'm not in your shoes yet but here is what the book says:

Quoted from pg 29-30 of SleepEasy Solution at www.sleepyplanet.com. Most children do well with a bedtime b/w 7 and 8 pm; 8:30 is the very latest bedtime all the way up to age 10. Most children need 11 hrs of sleep to function well. So if you want your little one to wake up at 7 am then you need to have her in bed by 8pm. Some can do well with 10.5 hrs of sleep and others may need 11.5 or even 12 hrs. Be sure to wake her at 12 hrs no matter what so she naps well.

Quoted from pg 99 - Most children start to give up their nap somewhere b/w 3 and 4 yrs. However, some can continue to nap as late as age 5. An example of a 2-yr-old sleep schedule is bedtime at 7:30pm, wake time at 6:30am, and nap from 12:30 to 2:30. An example of a 3-yr-old sleep schedule is bedtime at 7:30pm, wake time at 6:30am, and nap from 1:30-3. They should have about 4 hrs b/w nap and bedtime.

Hi Nicole,
I HIGHLY recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms and the benefits of the sleep received during those times. You are right about the bedtime. It is WAY too late. My daughter is 3 and is ASLEEP by 7pm at the latest. They need about 12 hours of sleep each night. She should be napping around 1pm for at least 1 hour. I can understand that you aren't a morning person but what are you going to do when she is going to school and needs to be up early anyway? Too late a bedtime has been shown to cause many different problems, including obesity. Dr. Weissbluth really explains why children need to be sleeping within their natural biological rhythms or cycles. He even cites research indicating poor sleep habits can be linked to ADD and ADHD. Of course I have always been in the mindset that we bring children into this world and have a responsibility to do what is best for them and that we, as parents, need to do the sacrificing. I'm sure there will be moms here that don't agree, but that is my opinion.
If you are interested in Dr. Weissbluth's info, email me.
Sincerely,
L.

PS After reading some of your other requests I think many of the other problems could also be helped by an earlier bedtime. You would be surprised at what problems incorrect sleep causes.

HI Nicole, I am going through the same transition myself. My daughter just turned three and is not having a consistent nap schedule anymore. If I do let her take one she's up till ten like you said. So for me my only option is to get her up earlyer, say 7 o'clock and nap at 1 o'clock till 3 o'clock. We only do this every few days and she skips the other days. I work in the afternoon so it's hard to give up the time but I'll let her rest in my bed with a favorite show for an hour to help me with that or in her bed with books. Sometimes she just plays in there if she's not tired. I guess I don't have an answer for you. I guess I've come the conclusion that it's up early for a nap or no nap at all and just down time. Good luck.

I feel your pain :) I am SOOOOOO not a morning person. And never have been. I was always a natural night owl. And I disagree with the thought that we as parents must sacrifice everything for our kids. I think it's better to find a compromise.

I agree that moving her naptime up will more than likely move her bedtime up. Trying to get her down by around 1pm would give her and you that needed nap, while still allowing her time to burn off the energy she got recharged from her nap. And she might still continue to sleep till 8am with the moved bedtime.

If not there's no harm in changing it back for now. But once school time rolls around, you'll need to take the summer before to work her into a schedule that will get her sufficient sleep for school. Since naps by then will probably be non-existant.

My kids quit napping around 2 1/2, but were sleeping 14 hours a night, so it worked out for us.

Hello,

I too think her nap time and bedtime are too late. I too LOVE naptime and am not a great morning person either. My 4 1/2 year old twins just stopped taking naps because it would keep them up until 10:00 (even though they were put in bed at 8:00.) If your child gets up at 8:00....4:00 is a long time to wait for a nap. My two would be up about 7:00 and they would be ready for a nap around 1:00. I would try to move her naps to an earlier time. I would do it in small steps if she is really use to that 4:00 nap. Start with 3:30 for a couple of days, then move to 3:00 and keep moving it down to about 1:00 or 1:30. Move bedtime back as well 1/2 hour at a time (or even just 15 minutes at a time) until you get to around 8:00 or so. As someone else said you will really enjoy a couple of hours in the evening to yourself...and still have some nap time in the afternoon.

You will know when she will be ready to stop taking naps. I would assume it would be within the next year or so. For me, my two just stopped sleeping during naptime. They would often read or play in their room. Then we started having quiet time and still do when I really need a break.

As I said, my two go to bed around 8:00 and are rarely up much before 7:15. If she does start getting up too early for you...you may want to set out a few activites she can do in her room quietly while she waits for you to wake up. My two are always up to looking at books for awhile.

Hope this helps and remember any changes you choose to make will take some time to work, so be patient and be consistant!!!

Kids sleep better at night when they nap in the day.

Try:
7:00 am Wake Up
2:00 pm Nap (1 1/2 to 2 hrs)
8:30 pm Bedtime

It might seem kind of crazy at first, but she needs to go to bed earlier than 10pm. Besides the fact that children at that age need 11 to 12 hours of sleep at night, it also gives you time to settle down before you fall asleep.

Don't take her nap time away... she won't sleep at night if you do that. It's strange but true.

Also dim the lights at 7pm so the melatonin in her body can rise and get her sleepy. Follow a ritual for bed so that she is conditioned.

In the morning get her active so that at 2pm she is tired enough for a nap. You want to have her play outside (as much as possible) and do as much physically activity as possible.

Believe me it works. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and this is the ONLY thing that works. If I miss his nap, its harder to get him to bed at night.

For the times he doesn't nap - If for some reason he doesn't sleep for nap time, I make sure he gets a lot of activity around 4pm... 20 min walk around the neighborhood, play at the park, run in the house up and down the hall... anything! By 7pm he's down.