Nanny Starting Soon - Please Help Calm My Fears!

Is there anyway you guy's can cut back on your life style and stay home with your kid. We did it and I know many others that have also. It's so rewarding to stay home and raise your own child. I don't know how you feel but to me it's more important than anything else that i be the one to raise my own children and i have. Goodluck

My first daughter was in a regular "preschool" when she was 1 and 2 and did indeed get sick frequently and I'd have to go get her so I know what you mean there. Lots of people swear by their nannies and it can be a good thing. I hope she can take him places or you can sign up for some classes. Having a bilingual child is a definate good thing... but I really hope you speak spanish because you need to be able to communicate with her to express concerns, needs, and know whats going on during the day.

My daughter is only 11 weeks old but we are very happy with our decision to keep her at home with a nanny. My husband and I also work full time. I was determined to keep our daughter at home for as long as possible instead of sending her to daycare because of the stories I've heard of babies getting sick all the time. Also, our work schedules are so flexible that even though we have help, we are in and out of the house all the time. And thankfully, everything seems to be going well. The nanny is very affectionate and playful. They sing, dance, read, go for walks, practice the alphabet, etc. My daughter laughs and coos and is very responsive. We actually wanted a Spanish speaking nanny - partly because we are both of Hispanic descent (but not fluent) and partly because we want our child to know another language. It's so much easier for children to learn and absorb new things - the more words they're exposed to the greater their vocabulary. And I've read that children who understand more than one language also have an easier time reading music. I only see the exposure as a positive. Overall, I feel very good about the choice to have her with a nanny. The personal, one on one attention is invaluable. Good luck!

Sorry to say this, but Jennifer is COMPLETELY wrong about his development stopping!! Having him exposed to another language at this age will not inhibit his development or language. This is the time when he will pick up the language quickly. and his english will not decrease! I am a language specialist and RESEARCH shows (not opinions) that children of this age flourish with a 2nd language.

I had a Spanish only nanny for 4 years with my 2 girls. She has my 1st daughter when she was 5 months old until she was 2. Then she went to school and I had my 2nd daughter, who she had until she was 2. Both my girls learned spanish and they loved our nanny dearly! It was a sad day when we had to let her go so my daughter could go to preschool She became part of our family.

It is nerve-wracking at first, but if she is the right nanny, you will soon see how your son bonds with her.

Don't be nervous about she spanish thing. None of us in our family spoke spanish and our nanny didn't speak english. You'd be amazing at how we still could communicate. If we had something important to discuss, we get a neighbor to interpret or use a translator program online to write a note.
Best of luck!

My friend's twins, have been since they were infants, taken care of by a Spanish speaking Nanny. They are fine, healthy, well rounded, AND are now at their ages bi-lingual. Which being bi-lingual is a wonderful gift to have.

Their Nanny, took them to toddler classes, and play dates too. All approved of course, by their Parents. These kids are BRIGHT and NORMAL kids. AND, they are now knowledgeable about both cultures. Which the parents have no problem with.

I am assuming, YOU are bi-lingual? Or have/can speak to the Nanny in Spanish? Since you said the Nanny only speaks Spanish? Otherwise, you may have a hard time communicating, if you do not speak her language.

You could, in the beginning if able, take a few days off of work, or your Husband, to "supervise" or just be a fly on the wall, to see how the Nanny handles herself, and how she and your baby get along. AND, I would think that you are fully aware on HER child-rearing philosophies and approaches... AND that you are both on the same page about it? These are key issues.

AND, you as a Mom, have to organize their activities as well... meaning, telling her where you want her to take your son, or sign him up for classes/toddler groups/Gymboree/art classes etc., so that the Nanny can THEN have a "plan" and daily "routine" with your son. That is your "job" to lay-out parameters and activities for your son/the Nanny, for example.

I am also assuming you did a background check on the Nanny? In addition to checking out her references and resume?

All the best,
Susan

My sister had a nanny for her daughter - she spoke primarily Spanish. It was wonderful. By the time my niece was 2, she was tri-lingual. Mara only spoke spanish to her during the day and my sister and her husband spoke English and Farsi to her at night - she understood and did not get confused or stop learning or anything. Yes, there might be a few weeks of adjustment in the beginning, but that will pass and he will learn both English and Spanish, which in this society, is nearly essential! Also, if your initial reaction was to really like this woman, don't let your fears change things - see her as someone who will love and help care for your child, not a "stranger" - remember, the people at daycare were strangers once too! I do agree that he will miss out on the social interaction, but that is a workable price considering his health. You can do parent and play groups to help that, but you can't have him in the hospital all the time. Maybe in a year or so his immune system will be stronger and he can go back to daycare.

Good luck! Be confident in your decision!

Hi J.,

Both my kids stayed home with a nanny before they were able to start at a local montessori daycare. My 3 year old son stayed home with a Spanish speaking nanny till he was about 2 years old; my 19 month old daughter stayed home with a Spanish speaking nanny till she was 14 months. They are both now in Montessori school. I personally encouraged the nannies to ONLY speak Spanish to our son/daughter. A lot of research has shown that multiple languages is great for young children and if anything, I think listening to multiple languages has made my children better listeners. Don't worry about them getting confused or not picking up English as quickly. They will have the rest of their lives to learn and practice English. The multiple languages at a young age is more to strengthen their brain development. If anything, both my son and daughter have excelled in speaking, mush faster than their peers once they started school. Their grandparents only speak Chinese to them and my children have no problem understanding any of the three languages, even though they most often respond in English.

If anything, the challenge for me in speaking with only a Spanish speaking nanny was just making sure they understood my directions and trying to get feedback about what the kids did during the day and if there were any issues. I had a friend that was Spanish speaking and would translate a lot and wrote my instructions down for me.

I do think that after 18 months, toddlers really benefit from playing and watching other kids. Maybe you can look into another daycare? I think the cleanliness of the facilities and of the care givers do vary from one place to the other. But if giving your son a bit of time to get healthy again and get his immune system stronger, that's not a bad idea as well. He will naturally get stronger as he gets older.

By the way, nannies tend to find other nannies and you'll find that your son will soon be playing with the same kids at the park. Kind of like a mini-society.

You may want to set ground rules up front as well - like will you allow your nanny to bring other nannies and children to your house. Or can they go to other homes? Even if you know the neighbors? All things to think about and get clear up front. Also, I used to write out an hour by hour schedule for the nanny of what I wanted her to do each day and I would randomly go back to the house to make sure everything was ok without any warning.

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.

S.

I will say that a nanny is really a great way to go as far as the caretaking of your child is concerned. My first set of twins had a nanny for their first year of life; now with the second set I have someone that comes into the house a few days a week and helps out with the babies. It does help that I am bilingual and also speak to my children in both Spanish and English. I think it's important to expose them early as it is the easiest way for them to learn another language.
My current caregiver does speak primarily Spanish which I encourage as it is easier for the children to learn if they are used to hearing the language. She is caring and loving - and the babies will cry when she leaves the house (good sign)...They also will sometimes prefer to be with her rather than come to mommy! (=
I also would suggest that you have some time for her to come in and see what your routine is - especially if you're not bilingual. I actually did this with the nanny I have right now and she knew our daily routine by the end of the first week. It was comforting to know that I wasn't exposing my little ones to more than their fair share of childhood germs (my older set of twins help out on that front) by sending them to daycare. I actually tried this for about two weeks (they went twice a week) and both ended up with colds by then end of the second day and didn't get rid of the colds until two weeks after we ended the "trial period." I can completely sympathize with your frustration with doctor's/ER visits and the like.
Good luck with your decision and remember to trust your motherly instincts when it comes to the person caring for your child!
Take care and God bless!
A.

Hi J., I don't know if I can calm your fears, as a Daycare provider myself, I believe it is a better enviourment, for a couple of reasons, I have site people that just show up out of blue, at home it is just the nanny and the child, most children get more frequent colds when the first attend a daycare, but it builds their ammune system, sounds to me that your son attended a very good daycare, and chances are that he will get sick frequently anyways, some kids go through that phase. Children don't some much need one on one time with a nanny or provider, that they need at home from mom and dad but they do need that interaction with other kids, it reallys helps prepare them for preschool and kindergarten. One more thing J. that I have always expressed to my daycare parents, if you are going to work outside the house you have to work for an employer who is family friendly, and understands that children get sick, or your daycare closes early sometimes, and they have to be picked up in a timely fashion, without jeopardizing your Job. I probably didn't ease your fears, but as a mom and daycare provider, I believe I gave you the best possible advice. J. L.

His development will come to a halt... not because it's only one person who is taking care of him, but the fact that she speaks only spanish! Get someone who speaks English and at least she can talk to him and work with him. He will probably feel very confused and isolated.
In terms of getting sick... yes that will happen. Parents don't keep their kids home when they are sick like they should so the germs get passed around. However, you can build his immune system naturally with things like immuplex by standard process and echinacea (both of which my chiropractic internist has my son on). He isn't in daycare, but he does go to social events and "mini" daycare at the gym while I workout and trust me they don't wash the toys every day and there are snot-nosed kids there too. So I know he comes in contact with things. When he does catch a bug, I keep him home, but it only lasts for 1 day... big difference. Also, I don't vaccinate... I'm not injecting poisons and dead proteins in to his body to fight off for no reason while his body is being attacked by very real things. Now I'm not saying that my son won't get sick when he gets to school age, but I do know that his colds and illnesses won't last as long because of what I do with him. I'm a Master's degree student and working my way to become a naturopathic doctor... I can't prescribe, but I can suggest! So feel free to email me if you are interested.

J.
www.HolisticWellnessAndNutrition.webs.com