My Twins Do Not like to Sit in Their Car Seats

Updated on May 01, 2007
B.B. asks from Alliance, OH
8 answers

I am at my wits end and dont know what to do!! My children who are now three do not like to sit in their car seats at all. I have to brib them to sit in them and even then that does not work half the time. I had the over the top seat and they would unbuckle them and get out so I now have the big booster seats thinking that maybe if they have big kid seats they would sit in them. Well I was wrong they still unbuckle and get out. I am so afraid that the cops are going to see them out of their seats and I am going to get pulled over and get a ticket or even worse they will take the twins. And even worse get in to an accident and one of the get severly hurt or even killed. I dont know what to do I hate going anywhere with them these days. Please any suggestions on what to do let me know.
Thanks B.

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, I'm sorry to say they don't get any better or more co-operative when they get older.
I would arrange to be taking them somewhere they want to go, then, when they are not in their seats, simply pull off the road, turn the car off and tell them you are sorry but you cannot go unless they stay in their seats. You might have to be creative and tell them if they are good on three trips, they will get a reward or some such thing.
Mine are older and constantly either fight or do the silly poking at one another thing. I have a 17 year old who constantly screams at the two younger kids. They are real close in age (11 & 12) so I get the twin thing.
I would suggest "Parenting with Love and Logic" the book has been a great help for me.
If you can't find it in a bookstore, try loveandlogic.com or something like that.
It's important to remember that kids learn by example. If you remain calm and empathetic, you will be much more effective than if you get upset by their misbehavior. Wish I could remember to do that myself LOL!
Good luck, and remember; in 13 years they will want to drive themselves!
L.

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J.D.

answers from Columbus on

Hi Brandi,
This is a hard issue. Becuase if you are late getting somewhere or you are on the highway going 65mph, its h*** o* you and not safe for them to be fighting over the car seat issue. my sister used this little game to keep her twin boys in their seats and she said it worked like a charm! I think she saw it on TV, on one of those nanny shows. But she tells everyone about it so it may be worth a shot. She went to the store and found these really neat little cards. I think they had Dinosaurs on them. Then she went to Staples and had them laminated. She bought some really "boy" stickers (her twins are boys). She kept the cards in their car seats. So when they got into the car, they had to hold their cards on the trip to wherever they were going. If they stayed in their seats on the way there and the way back, they got to put a sticker on thier card. After 10 stickers, they could turn their card in for a trip to the store to pick out a prize. She said that they LOVED holding the cards and putting the stickers on them. Plus they loved turning them in and get a prize. After they turned in their cards, they got new ones and they would start over.
You could tweak it a little to fit your twins personalities. Maybe since they are so young, they only have to collect 5 stickers to start out with in order to get their prize. Once they get that prize they'll see that it works!
It sounds simple, but its a neat idea and it may eliminate some of the hassle and frustration you feel when its time to get in the car.
My heart goes out to you. Ive watched my sister trying to raise her toddler twin boys and wow do you have a job!!
But they are the most adorable little things on earth as Im sure yours are!! What a blessing to have them!!Good Luck

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E.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Call your local police department, tell them your situation, ask to make an appointment to see an officer to talk to your children, hopefully by now they know who the police are and will respond to an officer talking to them. The fire dept. can help you out also. I had the police talk to my son, it was very efffective because we have taught him to respect the police. Also, we took away favorite toys and activities until he understood that we all buckle in and stay buckled (even mom & dad). Maybe you get in the car to go to a favorite park/play area/visit favorite friend or restaurant, once they unbuckle, pull back into the garage, don't go, stick to your guns and be firm, if they learn that not listening to you has severe consequences, they hopefully will start following car rules, good luck and hang in there!

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M.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Im a mother of a 3 year old too and i have the same problem i
bought my son a game boy to bribe him and that sora worked i try to explain that he has to buckle up because he don't want to get hurt and that works 50/50

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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I instilled fear. I simply explained to my son WHY he was in a car seat..."If you aren't in your carseat and I have an accident then you could go flying out the window and end up hurt very badly or maybe die. If a policeman saw you outside your carseat he would be VERY angry and we would all get in BIG trouble." It worked...He refuses to ride in a car...ANYONES car, without his seat.

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M.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hi B.!
Well obviously the car seat issue is NOT negotiable. Can they unbuckle a 5 point harness? If not put them back in one ! Myu daughter tried the same thing so back to the 5 point harness it was. You can't give in on this. There is a way to solve it, we just need to figure it out.

Maybe spend a few days telling them you want to go for ice cream or some other treat that THEY really love (my kids love the dollar store)! Do it when you have the TIME to deal with huge fits... and be consistant and calm and reaffirm they HAVE to have buckled seat belts to go. Try doing this day after day... just a thought. If I think of anything else I will revise.

Blessings.
M.

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W.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I like some of the others' suggestions, but the main thing I want to encourage you about is to remember that YOU are in charge, not them. I know, it doesn't seem like it sometimes LOL. But if you remain calm, and consistently apply an appropriate consequence for their disobedience (not just words, yelling, etc.), it will teach them that they must obey you. It will be messy for a while, because they think they can get away with it and they will try all kinds of things to get that power back!
One thing you can do besides refusing to start the car (I love that idea), is arrange to have someone at home so that after a few minutes if they still don't stay buckled, you will calmly remove them and put them inside and go without them.
The bottom line is they will take whatever power you let them take, and you must not let them get away with it, period.
Let us know how it goes!
Lynn

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M.F.

answers from Cincinnati on

Them being in a car seat is something that has to happen...so I would not start driving until they were in their seats and buckled. If they unbuckle while you are driving then pull over and sit until they are buckled.

I know you probably have places that you need to be at a specific time so for the first week or so allow for this extra time. I think eventually it will work---as long as you stick with it.
Another thing that may work--if you are on your way to taking them someplace special; out to eat, shopping, the park...if they unbuckle then just turn around and go home each time they do it. They will definately catch on! :)

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