My Toddler Is Extremely Picky Eater!

I had one picky eater and one that would eat anything. The picky eater is now 13 year old boy who is 5'8" and 165 pounds. He was a good fruit eater, but he loved chicken nuggets and applesauce. I could get him to eat eggs and pizza. So I would "sneak" veggies into his food by running them through the food processor and sneaking them into the pizza sauce or the eggs. Sometimes I could sneak it into the applesauce. You could try starting with carrots - their sweet and mixing them into the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I would also serve 1/2 a sandwich to him, but only after he takes 2-3 bites of something more healthy. Then serve two things he has to take 2-3 bites of before he gets the sandwich. I will say this, the kids were never allowed to whine or have tantrums in the "main" part of the house. They had to go to their bedroom and if that meant I had to pick them up like a sack of potatoes then that's what it came to. Now my 8 year old knows when he gets mad or upset he goes to his room until he cools off without me even telling him. So whatever you are letting him do now, know you are teaching him it's okay to do that when he is older. It's so hard!! I am a personal trainer with lots of experience in nutrition so if you have any questions don't hesitate to contact me. Another thing, it's a bit expensive, but you might want to go to Whole Foods and find some "healthy" snacks. That will help during the day. Also, take him with you and let him have some control over what he wants to try. My son picked out some things (acorn squash) that I never thought he would try and he loved it. A good cook book is "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld and "The Eat-Clean Diet for Family & Kids" by Tosca Reno. I use these every week. The "Diet" book is not really a diet book it's just a healthy, whole foods type of book. Good Luck!

Kids this age are known for pickiness. He needs some control in what he eats, because (as you know) you can't force him. A couple of tips:

-Serve only 1 new/not liked food at a meal. The rest of the meal should be food he is familiar with and will eat. Less stress of not liking anything (and if he doesn't like it there's other food to eat)

-Give him a couple of choices that you can live with about what to eat (we can have broccoli or carrots, which would you like?)

-Make sure he's not overly hungry beforehand. Give him a snack about 1 1/2 to 2 hours before dinner.

Good luck! Kids do grow out of it, though some are always pickier than others!

Let it go! If you want a peaceful family meal than have one. This is a power struggle that will only get worse and worse. This is their way of establishing independence and you will drive yourself crazy on this one. If he is healthy and gaining weight than he is ok!

Hi J., I am looking forward to seeing the responses to your dilema. My kids just fed my grandson what ever he wanted until he was four and then he was expected to do just as you are doing with your son now. I think you have drawn the line and you have to follow through. But, maybe once a week couldn't you make something that you know he would love to sit down and eat. He could enjoy his family and you could enjoy his company without the whining as well. good luck

Stand firm!!! Almost all kids go through this at some point, rarely does it have anything to do with allergies or sensitivities, it is a battle to see who is going to win. If he whines put him in time out then and explain to him that he is not to sit and ask for anything else, period!!! You are great not to cave in and give him something else. Just continue what you are doing, you are doing the right thing. Make sure he doesn't have a snack too close to meal time so he is hungry. Just continue what you are doing as it is great! Kids this age are very choosy and those unwilling to try new things or eat what the family eat will learn very soon that you will serve one thing and he needs to eat when a meal is served or that is it! I even put the meal back in the fridge so if my kids come saying they are starving I pull it back out and they can eat it later!!!!

My deal is I will make a meal with something I know my kids like and with new things serve them up a smaller portion but they have to try it. I allow both of my kids to have foods they just really don't like, each has their few things that I won't serve as they have tried it, they genuinely didn't like it so I let them have that. However it is a short list.
Typically what I serve for a meal is it. If they want to not eat, fine, they are to sit at the table until everyone is done, drink their milk and not ask for anything later. It took a few months of them really testing me, but it has stopped, no more whining, complaining and they both get it that if they don't eat that is it for the night. Now at the ages of 4 and 7 I have them help in choosing what we will have which night which helps a ton. There are a lot of things they both like so that helps. Exposing kids to different flavors and spices early on helps them not be so picky later too. Just keep at it. I would tell him he has to eat two or three bites and at least try everything he is turning his nose up at.

Tell him he must go sit by himself somewhere if he is going to whine. He is testing you and you are doing great. If he isn't whining tell him he can sit with you at the table until you all are done.

Good luck!

I bet your frustrated, but try to keep in mind that kids have more than 10,000 taste buds as where adults have less than 1/2 that, so it takes kids a lot longer to actually like things. I have heard doctors say that it takes on average a child to try the same food 10 times before he or she actually likes things like vegtables or fruits. So with kids having more taste buds than adults when there is something like PBJ sandwiches which taste sweet they are really sweet to him as where spinach for example can be bitter its really bitter to him. Try to hang in there and introduce new foods to him and there is a cookbook called the sneaky chef that may help it shows you receipes that are made with veggies and fruits so that kids will never know what they are eating, for example a chocolate cake that is to die for made with beets! I hope this helps.

Have you ever read the children's bok Bread and Jam for Frances???

I have always told my kids I am not running a resturant. If they don't want to eat what we have for the meal they can wait til the next one. This is the best time to start teaching them. It didn't take long for my kids to catch on. It's best to give them the vegatable first. Make meal time fun. If that doesn't work you can find ways to hide different foods like casserole, soups or purees. Use your imagination. Good luck!

I was a VERY picky eater! I pretty much lived on hot dogs and bannanas the first 2 years of my life... gross!
My mom was worried like you, but the docs told her if I am eating and remain healthy, then don't make it an issue.

By making WHAT he eats such a focus, you are creating in him a complex that can effect him later on in life.
I grew out of it as I got older. I am not saying I wasn't still picky as a teen, but each year I got better and now in my 30's there isn't anything I won't eat or try- I truly eat anything and even crave the things I used to run from. EXCEPT the one thing I was forced to eat... peas. I can clearly remember the forced eating of those and can't come near them. :)
Kids tastes just aren't what adults are and while some kids will eat anything others just know what they can stand for now.
So I would say for the sake of your little ones food issues in the future, just let him eat what he wants. If the docs don't think he is being harmed then let him eat at the table with you at night AND have his PB&J. Let him enjoy family time at the tabel instead of turning it into such a bad memory.

On a side note I remeber food for me being like a phobia. I never really told my parents, but I just couldn't deal with it. I had to learn on my own to love it and I appreciate my parents not pushing the subject and letting me figure it out on my own. I know it drove them crazy!!!
I don't often like to talk about my food issues, but because I had them so much as a child I just feel for your little one. Not that he is having the same issues I did, but just work with him :) He will learn to love food...

Good luck!

I know how you feel, alot of Moms felt the same way to. They started giving their toddlers these awesome shakes that they absolutely love because they taste so good and the best news is that there is no artificial colors, flavors or sweeteners in these shakes.

Hang in there. I know it is tough to listen to them whine and you worry about them eating... but if you give in, then it is back to square one. My son (almost 3) is a lot like your son. He will only eat a few bites and then say "I'm done" and get down. He loves Ovaltine before bed so we tell him no Ovalitne. He will beg for it at bed time. I leave his plate on the table and let him chose to go eat more bites first. We never make them clean their plates but eat enough to be satisfied. Your son will learn that you have control and will eventually eat. I always try to have something they like but also a questionable food item. My daughters were very stubborn, but have gotten to the point they love different foods. I don't think we could have gotten to this place if we had given in.

Hang in there mom, he will eat.

I also have a 2.5 yo son. He's not a picky eater (in fact his favorite food is veggies!) but we did have problems with him leaving the table. My solution was to get a booster seat for him that has a safety strap. We used it for awhile until he realized that it's unacceptable to leave the table until he's excused. I kept saying "We eat together as a family". Eventually we didn't need to buckle him in and both my boys learned to ask to be excused. GL!

I would say keep being consistent. We did the same thing with our little girl, and now she is eating pretty good. Dinner sometimes takes a long time, but she will eat it. Eventually they do figure out that you mean business.

I don't have any advice except to tell you that hindsight is 20/20. I didn't buckle down when my guys were little and now I pay the price. My 'problem' eater is 11 now and he makes cooking/meals a tough thing for me. He won't eat what I fix most of the time and then he raids the kitchen and makes really poor food choices. He is overweight and lacks energy. We talk about nutrition and what his body really wants, but he still makes the poor choices. I would encourage you to do whatever you have to to get your child with the program now. Otherwise, you'll be sorry and so will he/she. Good luck!

It sounds like you're doing the right thing...keep sticking to your guns....do NOT give in!! That will only teach him that bad behavior will get him what he wants and make future battles harder. As for the whining, I would suggest you do something about that, because ultimately, he's still able to disrupt you, and you are the parent and the one in charge, and it's never too early to learn obedience and manners. He may give it up eventually if he doesn't get a response, but I tend to believe in making sure that kids know that certain behaviors aren't acceptable and must stop when told, so I would try doing a time-out if that's your usual pattern....you've already given him a choice about leaving hungry to play in the other room....he shouldn't get any more than that...he's 2 1/2!:) Best of luck!!

Hi J.,
This has become such a common problem. You are right not to give in. What helped with my kids was including them in the process. They go shopping and help pick out the fruit and veggies, we talk about what makes one ripe and one not ripe, they get to weigh the food at the market in the basket scales. At home, and 2 1/2 is plenty old for this, they help cook. They crack eggs, stir, get water in the pans, help taste things while we are cooking. It makes them much more interested in eating the food after it is done.

My son also likes science talk, he listens when we talk to him about what foods his brain needs, blueberries... and his muscles need protein to grow strong. I also tell him he needs to let his taste buds get used to new food, it takes 10 - 15 times of trying something new before your taste buds start to like it. He responds to that sort of in depth discussion about why and how his body does things. It is amazing how young kids are when they respond to this.

I commend you for sticking to the no p&j as a substitute for dinner. He will learn eventually to eat a good dinner, try including him in the process and see if it helps.
Good luck,
Have fun,
SarahMM

Hi Jenn,

There is a book out there called Eat Healthy, Feel Great by Dr Sears. He talks about "traffic light" eating. Red foods, stop can I make a better choice, yellow light are slow down foods, sometime foods and green light foods are good foods, anytime foods.

Its a great book and then you can put the choice in your child hands, for example "Today you already had a red light food, now can you make a choice of a yellow light or green light food? Ask them, what would be a green light food? What would be a yellow light food?

Also, it will take 10-12 different exposures to introduce a new food to a child. But gosh, that takes a great deal of patients. I have a 3 year old, I know.

Once a month at the Smoky Hill Libray, I present this talk to the children & parents. With the children we read the book, the will actually take little food cut outs and have to place them on a traffic light, do coloring pages and make a traffic light they can put on the refrigerator. With the parents we talk about 9 steps to a healthier family with a DVD by Dr Sears... http://www.askdrsears.com/ It is sponsored by Juice Plus and we will talk about bridging the gap of what we can't won't and don't eat with Juice Plus.

These events are free and there is no obligation to buy Juice Plus and it is such a pleasure to help families with the eating challenges we all face as parents.

The next talk will be at the Smoky Hill Library, November 22 @ 10:30 am

Please RSVP ###-###-#### so we have enough people to work with the children.

Join us & have fun while you learn!

Your frustration has turned into a game for him. Getting him to eat new things is more subtle enticement than full force badgering. My kids love, love, love salad with peppers, avocados, tomatoes, carrots, etc. How did I do it? I made myself a salad, put it in a bowl in the middle of the table, helped myself and told them it was too yummy for them so they weren't getting any. The first few times, they ignored me. After that, their curiosity grew, and I said they could help themselves to a spoonful (they serve themselves) and I would eat their serving out from under them if they didn't eat it. After a few more times they eat the salad with more excitement than I do. Now that they're a bit older (2.5 and 4.5 yo) I have them help peel veggies, tear lettuce and make dressing.

You're doing the right thing by saying no to extra foods (I'm not a short order chef either) and giving him only the things you want him to eat. I would NOT put up with the whining at all. Keep strong!!

Once kids realize you mean business and whats on their plate is what they're getting, they'll get over the game.

Hang in there! Let's fight this new generation of kids who are only going to eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese as adults! I applaud your consistency and resolve. That is really hard to do!

I am not a clean plate mom, but I have picky eaters as well. So frustrating when they are hungry and fussy! I have been told that you should introduce things up to 10 times--so don't give up! Small little servings for him, cut up into bite sized pieces--I'm sure your doing that. Limit snacking between meal times--so he's hungry like the rest of the fam! And limit milk and juice drinks--too much milk or juice can fill them up and he won't be hungry when it's time to eat. It's up to you whether or not you want to always get him a pbj when the family is eating together, maybe you can get him a pbj when he eats 3 little bites of each??? This does get better, hang in there!! I think there is some good advice about not forcing him or getting angry about it. If you are worried about nutrition, my doc suggested the pediasure--yuck!, and vitamins or maybe some protien powder in a smoothie or pudding. Don't give up! He'll be eating you out of house and home someday very soon:)

Hi J.!

We have a picky girl who's almost 3 years old and I was also frustrated in the beginning but it's not worth being frustrated because it's usually just a phase and it will get better. I feed my girl the same things pretty much every day but I also put something new in front of her (the food we eat) together with the old familiar things and eventually she'll try it. I do force her to sit down and eat even if it's just for a few bites but we have noticed that when she sees our food she has starting asking to try it and sometimes she likes it and sometimes she doesn't. If she eats very little for dinner I may give her a few bites of something later on when she's playing just so she has a full tummy going to bed.
They say the key is to give them the familiar stuff plus something new, and not to show your frustration or make a big deal of it.
E.

I just wrote a similar response a couple days ago.

You are doing the right thing. However, he needs to sit at the table with you during dinner. If at the end he hasn't eaten anything, so be it.

Other people who disagree, go see a dietion (sp?). Also, if you went to a WIC office, they would probably sit down with you even if you do not recieve WIC. Their main concern is healthy children, not if your broke enough to get WIC (that was not a put down, I get WIC)

What they probably will tell you is to keep trying different things, don't just try the same things over and over. Don't make PB&J's a choice at the table (lol), but there are tons of kid friendly foods out there that adults love to. My kids love candied carrots (steamed carrots cut or baby, butter, brown sugar and 1/2 tsp ground ginger). They also love being Bugs Bunny with a raw carrot.

Here is a recipe website I use ALL THE TIME. Its free unless you want to pay for the membership (you don't need to). You can search kid friendly, the cookbooks for kid friendly, crockpot recipes, omac recipes and ones that you've been looking for forever.
GL!!
http://www.recipezaar.com/recipes.php?s_type=%2Frecipes.p...

http://www.recipezaar.com/cookbooks.php?s_type=%2Fcookboo...

J.

Two things to think about...
One (and I think someone else already said it) is that you don't want to create any food issues for him later. Eating disorders can happen to boys/men, too.

Two, it could be that he's got some food sensitivities or allergies. There are a few foods that my son refused to try or would even spit out... he finally had a reaction that sent us to an allergist. Of course, it could just be those toddler preferences.

I would suggest that you have him stay at the table with you. He might get bored enough to eat. ;) Or you could try to make it a bit more interesting. We got some trainer chopsticks for my son and he always eats more when we let him use them.

If you're worried about nutrition, I've gotten a lot more veggies into my son's mouth since I started making green smoothies. Just toss in about 40% veggies & 60% fruit into the blender. I also put in protein powder and probiotics. You'll be amazed... the veggies aren't even detectable, except for the color sometimes. (Like spinach.) There are a bunch of recipes at www.goneraw.com. They also make great smoothie-popsicles if you have any leftovers. I try to make a smoothie every day for my son, my DH and myself. I feel so virtuous! ;)

Best of luck!

sounds like you have a case of the toddlers :) "picky eating" can be a sign that your boy's body is trying to protect him from allergins in foods that you may not be aware of. also he's a toddler, one of the few things they can actually control is what they eat. consider letting him graze more during the day, instead of big meals, since then he will not be as hungry at meal time and be more willing to try new things. i know that sounds backwards, but really, kids can't be up for trying new stuff if they're too hungry, just like when they first start foods. since tots have little tummies, it's good for them to be getting their calories spread out throughout the day instead of at three sit down meals, heck, it's good for all of us to get our calories this way.

We have a 3-year-old who is also pretty picky. At around 2 years old, I stopped making special dinners for him and just serve him what we eat. The only difference now is that I make sure there is at least one thing that he likes on the plate. My son, for example, does not like meat but will eat rice and pasta so I'll serve our pork (or whatever) and veggie and be sure to include rice or pasta. He has to take two bites of everything before he can be excused (or have dessert - usually fruit. Generally, he takes his two bites, eats the rice and is done. He cannot have more rice until he eats everything on his plate. I can tell you that there are many nights I think he must be starving but he seems fine and is a very healthy weight. Everyone says he will become less picky with time and I'm hoping that comes soon but, for now, this system is working in our family. He's exposed to many kinds of foods but still has SOMETHING to eat. Keeps the peace at dinner!