My Son Won't Sleep Through the Night!

My husband and I struggled with a simlar problem when our son was 8-9 months old. It really depends on what your parenting style is as to what you would do (attachment parenting, Dr. Sear's method, Dr. Ferber method). At this age, he is most likely waking up in the middle of the night and taking a bottle/cup because it is being offered to him. I'm sure he really isn't hungry, esp. if he is eating a good supper. As someone else has already said, the fact that he can see you if he wakes up is also another real problem. If he was in his own room and couldn't see you, he most likely would go back to sleep on his own. I agree that there is no rest to be had from anyone who shares a bed with a toddler! My son is a streching kicking machine in his sleep as well! My best friend recently went through this EXACT situation. Her 9 month old would wake up and see her and cry till she was put in their bed. They moved her bed into the next room and within 4 days she was sleeping through the night! When we were having the problem we also invested in a vtech soothing sounds projector that we still use. If our son cries it immediately plays soothing music/nature sounds for up to 15 minutes. I also advocate the Richard Ferber method for sleeping problems. I hope some of this advice works for you and you guys can get some much needed rest!! May God bless you and your family!

A little about me: I'm a 28yo working mom to a 20 month old son and another sweet boy on the way! I have been married to the most wonderful man for 7.5 years.

Quick, get the Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting Book!

Meanwhile, here's one idea: gradually wean him away. Put a mattress, sleeping bag, whatever, at the foot of your bed. Lie down with him till he's asleep, then move to your bed. Gradually move the mattress (whatever) closer to his new bed. This might take weeks or months. But at least you'll get rest.

Don't force him to cry it out. Go to askdrsears.com to find out why, and get more info.

L.

Honey the first thing you need to do is get him in his own bedroom. That is a must! You need to just let him toss and turn and whine, only go get him if he cries more than 15-20 mins. DO NOT take him back to your bed under any circumstance. Sit in his room with him and comfort him, put him back in bed and go back to your room. Keep doing this until he will eventually gets used to his own room and when he knows you aren't going to take him back to your bed he will give up. I would start this on a Friday night so if you don't get much sleep you can sleep in on the weekend. If you would stick to this he will eventually start sleeping through the nights again. Give it a try and stay consistent!

Good Luck!
T. M

A.,
I also have two girls age 4 and 20 months. They share the same room and have since birth. My oldest will sleep through if the baby just whines a little and then goes back to sleep, but we had similar problem with the baby waking up and not wanting to go back to sleep in her crib about three months ago, and we started putting her in the bed with us but as you have experienced with the tossing and turning it is not a good answer to the problem. If your oldest is use to sleeping in his own room with no problems what I recommend and what worked for us, move the baby to his own or their bedroom if they are in the same room and when the baby wakes up go in and try to comfort him back to sleep but do not take him out of his bed and if he wakes up the older child move him into your room on a air mattress or some sort of bed set up if you can rather then in your bed and let the baby fuss through it. You might have to check on the baby after five minutes and assure him that you are still here, but let him know that it is time to go to sleep and that he needs to sleep in his bed. Make sure that he is settled down when you talk to him so he can hear and understand you....and he does understand what you are saying believe it or not. I kept saying she doesn't understand...but when I would talk to her she would shake her head when I would tell her that she need to go to sleep or she would whine a little. Also, have your husband try to settle her down, my little girl does much better with my husband when it comes to sleeping than with me, because she is use to me checking on her and comforting her and when he goes in there she know he isn't going to take her out of the crib. The first two or three nights are a little rough, but your little one should be broke of the habit after a few nights and if he wakes up in the middle of the night and whimpers a little he should go back to sleep. Give it a try it is better than the starting a bad habit and never getting a good nights sleep. As for the older boy, I would put my daughter back in her own bed once the little one fell back to sleep so she would wake up in her own bed in her room, and we didn't develop a new habit for her. Good luck, and just remember as hard as it is to let the little one cry it out...it is worse for you and your family if you are not getting enough sleep, and you are not able to be the best Mom and Wife that you can be because you are tired and unable to function at your best.

B.

I'd recommend Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It's been marvelous for us with our first child. I received it as a shower gift from an older mother with two young children; and I've also provided a copy to my sister-in-law who has a 6-month-old and an almost 4-year-old. She's finding it very helpful.

If you do the "rapid extinction" method, your family *will* be in for a rough week, but it *will* pay off for all of you in the end. :)

First make sure that he is not hungry for real food. Then let him know that he is going to have to stay in his own bed. Stop
taking him to your bed,

Sounds like he is teething and its bothering him. I give my 17 month old teething tablets and tylenol before bed. I am having a similar situation because my 17 almost 18 month old and my 3 yr old share a room. Night time is fine, but my 3 yr old has been getting up extremely early which would be fine cause he could snuggle with daddy for a minute and then maybe watch Barney, but no he has to wake his brother up too, and that means I have to get up- cause the baby is a terror who gets in to everything or screams so either way- I need to be up. I feel your pain!

I can't sleep with my kids either. Somehow they take over our king size bed!

Part of the problem could be that he's in the same room with you. I have a friend who was experiencing this very same situation. Once they moved their daughter into her own room it eventually got better. So, if you have the space, maybe trying to put him in a room without you and your husband.

my son is 18 months and still wakes up 3 to 4 times to take a bottle as well. he sleeps in the same room with us. since my son was about 10 months he would not sleep at all in his crib, so we brought him to the bed with us. He still couldnt sleep well and he would toss and turn and we wouldnt get any sleep. then one day i said i would throw a blanket on the floor and i would sleep there with him- and guess what he slept all night with the exceptions of his milk feedings. he has been sleeping on the floor ever since. i think the crib and your bed is too confiding so the floor may give him more space to move. i would place pillows or sofa cushions around him to that he would not wake up across the room or hurt himself on furniture. try it and see if it works. this week i put his crib mattress on the floor to get him use to sleeping on a mattress and he has done well. also start reducing his milk in his bottle. i am doing that to see if i can cut the feedings at night. it is hard when you have to work everyday.

Sounds like a bit of separation anxiety. Try a night light, a soothing story, and Give him one of your unwashed night gowns to snuggle with. I would also suggest finishing the bottle before falling alseep and trying to get to sleep without it. It may be the trama of the bottle being gone, and he is just experiencing weaning withdrawals. All mommies have to go through this at some time. Soft music in his room may help, even those cds with the nature sounds like rain or ocean waves. Good luck.